Disclaimer: I don't own Castle or episode 3x11 "Nikki Heat."

Prompt #17: Natalie - Being completely copied from hair to habits was creepy. Being asked by said copy to sleep with Castle was beyond wrong.

Words: 824

Natalie Rhodes. Never thought I could hate someone so much.

She's beginning to damage my calm. First she copies my posture, then my look, now my behavior? I'm freaking out here! And the worst part it that Castle isn't weirded out by it!

And then yesterday...I see her pressed against him, sucking face with Richard Castle, my Richard Castle, and there are only two things running through my mind.

First is the urge to run over there, tear her off him, and throw down.

Second is the thought, Why isn't that me?

I'm seriously considering how to cause her homicide right now. I could get away with it, and Lanie would help me. Ryan would be on board because he's still mad that he got tanked in front of Jenny. Espo and Castle can go screw themselves; the three of us can easily take on my she-demon clone.

Speak of the devil...

"Can I ask you something?" she asks as she leans on my desk.

"Sure." I take a big slurp of coffee as Natalie drops into Castle's seat beside my desk. I'm not big on giving my evil doppelganger the time of day right now. She's already taken my coffee and my paperwork with nobody batting an eye. If I'm not careful, she might just do what I confided to Castle she'd do - take my boyfriend, kill me in my sleep, and steal my soul. Not necessarily in that order.

God, I've been around Castle too long. That sounds like a plausible scenario.

Natalie sounds half-certain, half-curious. "Is Castle gay?"

Lady said what now? I spit out my mouthful of hot coffee as I try not to choke on it. Wiping my mouth gave me the extra second to stammer out, "I'm sorry, what? No. No."

"Then you two are an item but you're sworn to secrecy, right?" she continues, a me but with Natalie Rhodes's voice. It's like my reflection, but usually when I ask myself questions my reflection doesn't talk back. Especially not when I'm asking myself hard-hitting questions like Why aren't we together?

"No, we are not an item." Curiosity about her curiosity makes me ask, "Why?"

She gives an annoyed exhale through her nose and leans closer. "Last night, I invited him back to my place. And he said something to me that I have never heard from a man before."

I wait, but she doesn't tell. So I bite. "What?"

Her voice drops lower as she says slowly, "No."

"No?" I repeat, my eyebrows raising in shock. Castle didn't sleep with you? Me? Nikki? Wha?...My head hurts...

Natalie clearly shares my confusion. "I don't get it. He's into you, but you're determined not to give into these feelings that you clearly have for him. So he fantasizes about you through his writing. It's literally - " here her voice drops to a hiss " - verbal masturbation!"

TMI! TMI! "I-e-wha okay, so what does this all have to do with me?" I ask, now thoroughly confused as to why she was asking me this.

"I am not wearing this getup for my health," she states, plucking at the leather jacket she's wearing. "You're Nikki Heat, he's Jameson Rook. I need to sleep with him in the name of character research. Can you talk to him?"

"And say what?" I have no idea where this conversation can go next.

"I dunno, give him permission or something."

Obviously I've underestimated this woman's dedication to the role of Nikki Heat, because she's dead serious. I can see it in her eyes.

But what do I do? I can't say no, or else she'll assume we're together. And Castle and I are definitely not together. (I ignore the little voice that screams WHY NOT, YOU IDIOT? and sounds remarkably like Lanie.)

But selfishness forbids me from saying yes. It's a ridiculous demand. She can't expect me to do anything of the sort. I can't control Castle. Never have, never will.

Castle is my friend. My partner. Natalie is dressed up as me to play Nikki Heat, and no matter how freaking weird the scenario would be, it's not like I can switch places with her.

Nikki is Nikki, and I am me. And I want Castle as me, Kate Beckett.

Oh god, did I just think that?

My mouth drops open to say, "I need to go. Over there."

I grab my coffee and make a break for it.

Thought-shot of Beckett during that exchange. Anyone else think it was hilarious?

Review please!