Beth
"Well I'll be damned..."
The sound of Merle's voice immediately caused Daryl's lips to cease all movement. He sighed into my lips and released me slowly as he turned his head to look at his brother. The atmosphere in the room went from one of passion and relief to one of secrecy and machismo. Daryl's eyes narrowed as I stepped back and stood there awkwardly. I felt like we'd been caught by our parents while sneaking kisses behind their backs. If I had been at all curious as to whether the younger Dixon had told his brother about me, I had my answer then.
"I knew it!" the drunken redneck rattled off loudly. Merle fell into the room, staggering and slamming the hospital room door behind him. I could feel my heart beating between my ears as he crossed over to us. I couldn't accurately read his face so I had no idea what to expect. Knowing Merle it had to be something rude, lewd, or a combination of the two. "I knew ya fucked Barbie! Whyja lie, baby brother? Tha's one helluva lay!" The older brother clasped his hand onto the younger's shoulder and shook him roughly. "Thought ya said she was just some townie cunt! Had no idea you'd gotten a piece of tha'! Yer a Dixon after all."
I felt like I'd been slapped across the face, hard. Daryl couldn't have said those things about me, he wouldn't say those things, would he? Quickly, I pulled my hand away from his like I'd been burned, causing him to turn and face me. I could feel the tears building behind my eyes and some had even escaped down my cheeks. It felt like my heart was breaking in two and my legs felt like they were made of rubber. "You didn't say those things" I said brokenly. I was shocked at how quickly the tables had turned. Just give minutes prior, we'd been holding hands and kissing. We'd been happy. But after that, all I felt was pain. "Daryl wouldn't say those things about me."
Merle erupted in drunken laughter. "Guess ya don' know my brother all tha' well. Do ya, sugartits?" he asked through the gravely sounds escaping his throat. My eyes flew to Daryl but he didn't even look at me. His gaze was fixed on his cast and his cheeks were bright red. What bothered me most was his painful silence as it told me everything I didn't want to hear. Cocking his head, Merle pushed himself into my gaze while an evil grin twisted on his lips. "What? Thought you was special?" Pulling back, his laughter only became more deafening. With tears now fully form in my eyes, I looked over to Daryl again, my protector, the man I thought was my lover, someone who cared. For a second time he couldn't bear to look at me.
"Daryl" I breathed, my voice dripping in pain. I needed him to look me in the eyes. I needed to be able to gaze into him, reading him like I'd done a million times. I knew I could see the truth in him if he'd just turn around! "Look at me."
Daryl's head turned slowly, but his face was stone cold. There was no apparent emotion, but his eyes spoke volumes as always. They shone with the same pain they had earlier that day back in my apartment, the same pain that resulted when I told him that he wasn't just some 'nobody redneck asshole' like he'd thought. His eyes contained the same fire, his blue eyes burning through my teary haze. I couldn't understand why he wasn't saying anything. The only reason he would be so quiet was something I didn't even want to consider.
Nodding my head, I actually chuckled to myself, warranting a stare from both Dixon brothers at the same time. I felt sick, like the room was spinning and shrinking on top of me at the same time. I could barely breathe as I stared down at the bruised and broken man in front of me. "I can't believe I fell for it" I spat softly, pulling my hand away from his. "You know what, fuck you Dixon."
And I left his room, never looking back.
Daryl
I had royally fucked up this time.
"GOD DAMN IT, MERLE!" I shouted as the beepin' of the machines I was hooked up to got louder and faster. I couldn' believe how quickly it all happened. We'd been kissin', holdin' each other, and of course my dumbass older brother had to come an' ruin everythin'. Granted, what he'd said was true unfortunately. I had said some pretty nasty shit 'bout Beth when she first moved in, especially after the little chats in the hallway. She'd seemed pushy, bratty, bitchy, the works. She'd acted like she was better than us, but now I knew better. She'd been tryin' to hold her own which made me want to get ta know her in the first damn place. Not like any of that mattered after Merle opened up his big fat mouth. If I was lucky, she'd barely acknowledge me after that shit.
But all Merle did was laugh, like the asshole he was. "Wha's so fuckin' funny, asshole?" I growled as I pushed my head back into the pillows.
"Why are ya so upset, little brother?" Merle asked between bits of laughter. You'd think that he was happy with the fact that he'd jus' ruined one of the best things to ever happen to me. He treated it like he deserved some kinda fuckin' medal or some shit. "You didn't need that yuppie bitch. You've got me and I've got you. Tha's it, like it's always been."
My brother's words lit a fire under my ass. I saw red in that room and I would have leaped out of my bed and kicked his redneck ass if I wasn't all tore up. I don't think I've ever been that angry before and it was for a great reason. After talkin' to Dale and leavin' the shop, I'd gotten on my bike with the soul reason of gettin' home so I could talk to Beth. I had wanted to talk about our hookups and the times in between where she'd given me a reason to bring the walls around my heart down. She'd given me faith in people, slightly, but it was still there. I didn't expect her to want some stupid redneck ass like me, but it was worth a shot.
"Don't you ever speak about her like that" I groaned as I turned my body to place my feet on the floor. My entire body felt like I'd been hit by an 18-wheeler, but I needed to get home. I needed to talk to her, to explain. Every bone in my body ached, the cuts in my skin stinging like a thousand bees at the same time. Merle's hands tried ta grab onta me, but I pushed them away as I stood up and ripped the IV outta my arm. "I'm gettin' dressed them yer takin' me home" I said. I wasn't used to the cast on my arm, but lucky for me my shirt was my usual cutoff style. As I grabbed my clothes, I painfully dressed myself (with a bit of Merle's help) and was out the door and in the truck before anyone could tell me other wise.
I was goin' to talk to Beth, and this time I was gonna tell her everythin'.
Beth
That was the slowest cab ride I'd ever experienced.
Trying to hold back my tears in the taxi was almost impossible, but luckily I was just barely able to make it into my apartment before completely shutting down. I still couldn't believe that after everything Daryl and I had done, about how we'd opened up to one another, slept with one another. I knew that hooking up couldn't have meant as much to Daryl as it did to me. He was obviously more experienced than me, and clearly I was just another notch in his belt and another tally in his little black book. Once I had slammed the door behind me, I ran to the comfort of my bed only to realize that his shirt was still draped over my pillow.
I threw my shoes off and fell into the plush down comforter as I bawled my eyes out. I felt so...dirty. My skin crawled knowing what I had done in that very bed, and thinking about how high he'd taken me. I'd never imagined he'd drop me so far as well. I guess I really didn't know Daryl as much as I thought. My heart ached at my breaking faith in him. I was hurting because of the phantom memories of his touch over my body. His dark southern lilt that had driven me mad had also spewed all kinds of hurtful things about me to his menace of a brother. I had never felt so used, so betrayed. My body shuddered as I continued to wail, my cries sounding more pained and hoarse the more I yelled.
I couldn't believe that I trusted someone like Daryl. My first day there he'd been mean and off putting. I should have kept my distance, I should have stayed away. Every time I stopped to talk to him or went looking for him, I should have just stayed in my apartment and kept to myself. I thought about the night at the bar with my friends, our sit downs in my apartment, breakfast, post-sex pizza. Everything about him had seemed so wonderful, so genuine and misunderstood. Clearly I was wrong. Maybe Daryl was exactly what he thought he was, some redneck asshole.
Having the shirt so close to my head proved to be problematic for me. The smell of him that was embedded in the fabric washed over me and brought other memories to mind. I could remember his tongue lapping at me, his teeth clamping down into my neck and shoulders, his lips thrashing against mine. I could feel him thrusting into me wildly, desperate for me to shudder around him. It was hard to believe that I'd experienced something so passionate and carnal. Just thinking about it made my body writhe, but all the pleasantries were soon forgotten as my sorrow over took me again.
Ultimately I decided to get rid of the item that was heightening my pain. Grabbing the shirt from my pillow, I threw myself off the bed and hurdled toward my front door. I knew Daryl was still at the hospital so I could tuck the shirt around doorknob and leave it there for him when he got back. That way, I didn't have to see him more than for the random few seconds I was sure I'd have to deal with eventually. Taking a deep breath, I opened the door and was instantly tense. There in the hallway was Daryl Dixon standing in his ripped and tattered clothes and hospital ID band right in front of my door. I opened my mouth to tell him to leave me alone, but his put his hand up to stop me before I could get a word out.
"Girl," he said, his voice dark and rich as it usually was when he was trying to get my attention. "Before ya kick ma ass outta here, we gotta talk."