Struggle and Release

I felt something. In the dark, I slowly turned conscious. Then there was a sudden jerk in my mind and I opened my eyes wildly.

I was in my bed, safe and sound, as I'd always had. Yet I had a feeling that I had something to do, something waiting for me. I strained my mind, in search for that thing. Was that homework? No way. Did I owe dad anything? Nah. Forgot to feed any pets? Na - no wait, wasn't that...? ...Oh, the Houndour!

I leaped out of my bed all of a sudden, vigorously swaying my head to look for it. No sign. I got onto my feet, peering up and down in my vicinity, even outside the window. Neither. My heart raced fast. I promised it I wouldn't let it down this time. I was sure it remembered. It had saved me, and I couldn't even get it to a safe place? Was I so bad of a person? I ran around the house, hastening my footsteps bit by bit. Back to my own room, I lost my cool and stood there, contemplating what I could do to even gain its trust again. No way. I knew it wouldn't ever like me anymore. In devastation, I hopelessly called out its name.

"Houndour," I sighed.

"Houn?" came a response, right behind me...wait?

I turned, and from beneath my bed, it crawled out. That familiar figure - the smooth snout, the skull on its head, and the agile limbs - stood out before my very eyes. I was startled at that moment. And there I'd thought I'd never see it again, yet it was right here. A surge of warmth emerged in me and I tried hard to hold the wetness in my eyes in. I stepped towards it, and it sat eagerly. Spreading my arms, I finally got a hold of this friendly dog - the intimacy was simply endearing. I held it tight, and it rubbed its muzzle against my cheek lovingly. After so many times, I finally got to safeguard this pitiful creature, to realise my promises, to be with this Pokémon seemingly bonded with my own self. I knew it'd be my friend, and I was pretty sure about it.

Then a thunder struck - I mean, my very own father thundered in.

I knew something wasn't right when I heard that grunt. I halted and turned to face father.

"Tut, tut," came the hoarse voice. "Feeling better now?"

"...yeah," I responded tentatively. "I suppose I'm walking around now?"

"I don't mean you," he laughed. "I'm talking about your dirty dog."

"He's not dirty!" I defended.

"Oh yeah? Then what's this foul smell?" he snapped. And he was right; Houndour did give off a terrible smell. I heard it's from some burning toxins or something. "Get it out of my house, now that it's feeling fine."

He was so stern I shivered. I turned towards Houndour. It was slowly getting up from its crouch and staring at me. I couldn't decipher its expression - was he feeling wronged? Abandoned? Or apathetic? I turned around again. "No I won't," I was serious about it.

"Oh yes you will," he growled. I shuddered, but I stood still. "I promised to keep it company, and I'll keep it."

"Don't kid around with me. Promising an animal? Is that even funny? You think you're some princess in fairy tales or something?" he thundered. "And how many times have I told you WE'RE NOT KEEPING PETS?"

Quivering, I backed but reached for Houndour's black fur. Upon contact with it, I felt a surge of strength passing through me. I looked into its eyes and it looked back with the same confidence. I knew it would back me up for what I insisted was right. I was sure I was doing the right thing. The young me stood strong. "I'm keeping him," I declared firmly. I didn't realise my speech was accelerating. "I've decided this several years ago and I'm staying with this decision. This is only the right way to treat such an abandoned Pokémon, and...a friend. He'll stay with me, and if you're not fine with that, I'll just..." I paused. "go." I screamed.

I didn't expect myself, being so timid, to say such a thing. How would I even live without the family anyway? What could I do? But I was so young and enraged then that I was barely aware of any consequences. And I said it anyway, so I wouldn't embarrass myself by giving up. I convinced myself to do it.

"Go ahead then," father smiled, probably expecting me to give up soon and turn back. I didn't care. "I'll go on a journey by myself. I've always dreamt of becoming the Pokémon master, not going to some stupid school. And I've had enough of not being the cool kid and being bullied all the time. I've had enough of being trapped here. I've had ENOUGH OF EVERYTHING HERE!" Without even bringing stuff, I just dashed out of the house, and ran straight to the nearest bush. While running, the wind hit me hard in the face and cooled me down. What was I doing? I was pretty certain this was illogical, but my heart kept pumping so fast that I kept going until I jumped into some tall grass.

I sat in the dark and tried to calm myself. I was all alone in the thick grass. This wasn't right. I was in danger. Hopefully there wouldn't be a bloodsucking creature or a ferocious lion jumping out of nowhere...

The grass rustled.

I held in my breath and didn't dare make a sound. I prayed that my devastating predictions wouldn't come true. It was probably just a little bird. Hopefully.

Something came out of the grass, and it was - just the very same Houndour. "Phew," I was relieved. "You really followed along? I didn't expect so."

It lay on the ground, glancing at me silently.

My immature mind ran through my memories to find someplace we could stay for a while and take a breath. Meanwhile Houndour walked up to me. All of a sudden, it turned around, and orange flames rushed out of its jaw.

"What the - " I was startled, only to see a Kricketot faltering and falling to the ground. Gratefully, I stroked Houndour's skull slowly. "Thanks man, that was awesome. I wonder what that thing was doing, lurking in the shadows..."

"Oh yes! Shadow!" came the epiphany. I knew where to go now - at least temporarily. "Come on," I told the dog. "Let's go to Shadow's." loyally, it followed, and the duo of us headed straight to my childhood haunt.

I knocked on the door confidently, and before long, someone casually pulled it open. "Oh hi! If it weren't our sweet little Lucifer!" came aunt Cherry, Shadow's mom. "Why are you here? Come in anyway." So I went in obediently and took a nice rest on the velvet couch. "You already know Shadow's out on her journey so we're all alone here," she called out from the kitchen as she prepared something.

My heart twitched a little when I heard that. I'd known Shadow was on her way all along, but I felt kinda down whenever I thought of it. Was I jealous? Upset that I was trapped in my conservative home? As I ran through this train of thought, my little eye got a bit wet.

"Oh dear boy, why do you look so upset? Here, have a warm cup of chocolate," she came over and said lovingly. "Don't cry; that makes you look bad." Yet that only made me sob. "C'mon, tell auntie what's wrong. Bullies at school?"

Nah, I was so used to being bullied already. It was something much more devastating than that. But before I composed myself to speak up, the videophone rang loudly. "I'll go get it," went aunt Cherry swiftly.

For some reason she blocked the screen from me. As she answered the call and talked for a while, her facial expression transformed from a large grin to a sterner one. I couldn't hear her except for the greeting - for some reason she was whispering. All that I could make out was "give...a chance...try...own...". What was that supposed to mean? It wouldn't be for me now to piece together these words, let alone my young self. She didn't look happy though, from her impatient eyes glancing at me from time to time. Soon her voice turned into a plea. "try...responsibility...friends..." she said something like this.

There was a short silence, presumably the person at the opposite end speaking, or hesitating. Aunt Cherry first frowned, then let out a big grin."I'm sure you won't regret this," she declared loudly. "Shadow grows a lot everytime I see her." And she hung up.

I thought for a split second and then I realised. That person must have been one of my parents.

Aunt Cherry came across the living room, still wearing that grin. I wasn't sure, but I felt something auspicious. Was it my reasoning, or was it just the big smile?

She stroked my short black hair, then patted me on the face. "You take a nice rest this night here, little Lucifer," she hummed. "coz you'll be setting off on a long journey tomorrow morning."

I took quite a while to comprehend, and believe, this short sentence. Was that real? Was I merely dreaming? Seems not. After all these years of "imprisonment" (from my point of view, anyway), I was about to be set free, to go on a journey of my very own, to pursue my childhood dream? I could finally be just like Shadow, and all the cool kids? And more importantly, I could stay with my dear Houndour? I blushed and shuddered in excitement and fulfillment. I almost burst into tears, really.

Aunt Cherry allowed some time for the good news to sink in, and went on. "Just take Shadow's room down the corridor, if you don't mind the girly stuff."

"I'm certainly fine with that," I smiled too. Everything this night was just sweet. "I'll go take a rest as you say then!" So I went ahead.

"Lucifer," she called out. "You're supposed to already have a Pokémon right? Can I take a look?" I paused and realised. Where was my sweet doggy? Were the two of us alone all this time? I dashed back out and looked outside the window. There it was.

"Hey Houndour!" I was kinda impatient and apprehensive. It looked up. "What have you been doing out there all the time? Come in, quick!" Swiftly it jumped up and hastily scurried towards the door. I let it in and petted it in a friendly manner.

"I see, so you've got yourself a Houndour. Pretty impressive huh," she smirked. "Why didn't you keep it safe and sound in a Poké ball?"

I hesitated for a split second. I did know what a Poké ball was, right? I'd seen it on TV before - it's some sort of ball that magically held a Pokémon inside. Well of course, I had none. "I don't really have one," I replied shyly. "Houndour is just my friend."

"I see," she was fine with that. "So it's wild. But the fact that it's your friend is what's really important. I can get you some tomorrow anyway."

"Yes, that's what important," I smiled towards Houndour. "My friend."

So we went ahead, after cleaning ourselves maybe, and had a nice, peaceful night in Shadow's warm bedroom. The sleep was unlike any other one, because I had a feeling that I finally could do what I was intended to; a feeling of true freedom.