AN: REVISED

9: Butting Heads

Morning came too quickly. That's how it always felt though. I guess it couldn't be put off any longer. Once I heard movement in the other room, I got up as well. I walked downstairs after him, and mimicked him as he grabbed an apple from the kitchen and then headed out to the bus. I took a few bites from my apple to get the courage to do what I had to.

He didn't really make eye contact when he spoke then, "If we come back here it will probably be in a few days."

I just smiled and nodded. "I'll keep an eye out. If you do come back, try to bring some of these things, just in case." I handed him a list, and the skin of our hands touched briefly. I felt this surge of energy, or was it bravery, I could never tell now, but as he started to open the door to the bus the words spilled out, "One last thing." He turned and there I was instantaneously, hands on either side of his face, lips on his lips. Nothing serious, just one big peck, like one you might give your mama at Christmas, more than enough for me. It made me feel human, but at the same time I felt this desperate feeling somewhere inside me. I wanted more. I wanted to feel that way for longer. I had to deny that of myself; wrong time. It was inappropriate enough as it was. I pulled away and spoke quickly, "Good luck."

I didn't have the heart to say goodbye, or stick around to see his reaction, I just took off to the gate and opened it for the bus. He passed through, yelling something that I couldn't quite catch, and as soon as it was clear I shut the gate once more and waved as it snaked down the road and out of my view.

"That was nice," I said to the crisp morning air. It had been nice. A nice change of pace. Nice to have company. Nice to not be alone in my palace. Nice to kiss someone.

Then life went back to normal.

Every so often that day I'd run my finger over my lips, smile at my own bravery, then get back to work. When dinner came around I found myself much more lonely than before. The high of the impromptu kiss was gone. Now it was just the empty house and I. I was glad for the distraction, because it kept the face of the man I killed and that strange feeling that I was not alone in that bus out of my head.

The next day was much worse, so I dulled my senses with some smoking. Classic Annie. I never met a problem I couldn't try to run away from. During my watch duty I found myself almost constantly checking the road: nothing. Every paragraph, sometimes every sentence I looked up to the road.

It was amazing how much work I was able to get done now that I had the potential of a group coming to fuel me. I set up a bit of an irrigation system, planted several more rows of various things, all trying to get ready. I even started both a spice garden and a flower garden with some of the seeds I'd neglected to consider planting over the year. I cleaned my weapons at night and spent time cleaning the house as well. Everything was getting done, and it kept me busy. Busy enough to not feel that something was now missing.

By the fourth day I gave up the thought of them coming here. I gave up on the thought that I might not have to be alone indefinitely. I gave up on the thought that maybe having a group was advantageous. I went about fortifying the fence and cut down a tree. Winter would be here soon, and firewood was always good to have. Plus, the more I cleared away from the fence the safer I would be. Chopping trees down took time though, so I only ever really got through one a day, then I had to haul the wood in and take my post on the roof of my house.

I did that for three whole days before it happened.

On my seventh sweep of that evening I saw it.

There was that bus of mine coming down the road, kicking up dust in her wake. I hopped back inside and grabbed my pistol before making my way across the field to the gate. I looked through the binoculars at the approaching bus to get a better look; there he was. I unlocked the gate and rolled it open. The bus passed through followed by another car, then I shut the gate and locked it. As I walked back to where the cars had parked I looked down at myself. Cut-off shorts and a black Queen concert tee that had been utterly worn out to the point of holes, not to mention my work boots. My face was probably still a mess of sweat and fatigue. This was not the first impression I was hoping for. At least the house was clean. At least the house was clean and the place was safe. As I walked up, Daryl and a dark-haired man with a stern, but handsome face approached me. He eyed my gun for a second, but I compensated for my caution with a smile. "You must be Rick Grimes." I held out my hand and he shook it. Then I stepped over and gave Daryl a pat on the shoulder. "I'm glad y'all chose to come here."

"There aren't many places to go."

I shrugged, "All the same."

I couldn't quite place Rick's tone as he continued, "Daryl said we'd have to follow your rules." The group was slowly stepping out of my bus and massing behind Rick.

"They're simple, don't worry." I began to count off on my fingers as I listed, "Stay out of my room, don't take what doesn't belong to you without asking, try not to use electricity during the day, and earn your keep. You think you can handle that?"

With a still stern face he spoke again, "We don't have much of a choice." Something about this rubbed me the wrong way. Here I was, being nice to these strangers. I was being nice despite my beliefs that soloing the apocalypse was the safer bet. I opened up my home, trying to do the right thing when I could have just as easily killed them all, and how do they treat me? Like I'm some sort of monster for having a few basic rules.

"Can I meet everyone?" I looked from Rick to Daryl who had an expression on his face I didn't understand. He didn't stand the same as he had those days ago. I also took note of the short haired woman standing close by him, with a sisterly sense of protectiveness, but there was also something so sad about her face. Loss. I knew the look. I saw it in the mirror most of the time.

"I'm Hershel" The older man stepped forward and I hastened over to meet him.

We shook hands. "I'm Annabel, but you can call me Annie." I smiled at him as I spoke, trying to continue on with my plan to be friendly, "I was told you had a farm before all this. I'd love to see what you think of the setup I have going." I released his hand and turned to the blonde girl beside him. "And who is this beautiful young lady?" I sounded like my mother.

"This is my daughter, Beth. And over there is my daughter, Maggie." I shook Beth's hand and walked over to shake Maggie's as well. Both politely smiled while we did so. Maybe it was just Rick with the attitude problem.

I smiled back over to Hershel, making one more attempt at flattery. "You, Sir, are a genetic goldmine."

"I'm Glenn." The Asian boy beside Maggie shook my hand. "I heard you emptied a whole town of walkers by yourself. Is that true?"

I looked over at Daryl. "No wonder you are all acting like I'm the boogie man." I shook my head and turned back to Glenn, holding up a finger in correction. "It's almost true. I am sure I left a few stragglers."

A young boy stepped forward next. "I'm Carl." Something about him reminded me so much of my brother. He even looked kind of like him. It was something about the shape of his face and how his eyes squinted. I felt a slight heat behind my eyes, and the hairs on the back of my neck pricked up almost like someone was standing behind me before he motioned to the woman beside him. "And this is my mom."

The tension in the air could be cut with a knife at this point, but my friendliest Louisiana drawl fought against it. I shook her hand. "You must be Lori." She faintly smiled back, and then I shook the little guy's hand.

Another man stepped forward, this one bearing the friendliest face of the entire ensemble. "I'm Theodore, but everyone calls me T-Dog." I shook his hand, relieved that he wasn't nearly as nervous as the others.

"I'm Carol." I smiled at the woman beside Daryl, then proceeded to shake her hand.

"Good," I threw my hands up casually and laughed when I saw the pistol still in my left hand. "Woops. I forgot I was carrying that. I don't really entertain guests, so you're going to have to forgive me if I come across cautious." I let out a bit of nervous laughter and started towards the house. I projected my voice behind my strides, trying to address everyone, "Alright, if any of you are wounded feel free to come talk to me. I was pre-med, and I've kept studying so I might be able to help. And I've been busy getting ready for you guys, so I have some clothes for all y'all and there are rooms and beds here for the taking. Mine's locked, so don't worry about breaking that rule today." I started to step inside, but I paused for a moment and looked at Daryl. He was different than what I remembered, practically a different person, but the group seemed nice enough. I heaved a sigh as I looked to Rick. "Mr. Grimes, can I talk to you for a minute?" Nodding, he followed me into the house. I waited until the door shut before I spoke, "I don't have to be a rocket scientist to figure out that you all are very uncomfortable around me. Did I offend you in some way? Is it this?" I lifted the gun in my hand slightly. "Because I don't know you from Adam. It was a risk inviting you all here, and I'm just being careful. That's reasonable, right?"

He didn't say anything. He just stared at me.

"I went out and got extra supplies for your people. I offered you a place to stay, a nice place. Safest place in the south. I made preparations for your group, even though I didn't know if you all'd even show up. I just don't get what the issue is here. What more do you want from me?"

"I'm the leader of my group."

"I got that." He just stared at me. "This may be my house and there may be some rules, but don't take that as inflexibility." Despite all my efforts to be a good host and say the right things he didn't say anything in return. "It's nice to have people around, I don't know what he told you, but I was alone before just about this whole year. This can work, but only if you work too." I extended my hand to him again. This time I was asking a question, asking to make a deal.

He hesitated for a moment before he accepted.