A/N:

OH MY GOSH I AM SO SORRY ABOUT THE LACK OF UPDATES. I HAVE BEEN SO BUSY WITH PLAY PRACTICE AND DANCE AND SCHOOL AND EASTER. IT'S ALL DONE NOW (except school), SO NOW I HAVE MORE TIME TO UPDATE.

ONCE AGAIN, I'M VERY SORRY.

NOW FOR SOME FANFICTION.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except for the plot.

Tobias's POV

I have just ruined the best thing in my life.

The best thing that has ever happened to me.

I have made the best person I have ever known - and probably will ever know - hate me.

And it's all my damn fault.

All my fault.

As I stand here and watch her walk away, wiping tears from her eyes, I feel broken. Lost. Useless.

She made me feel like I actually mattered, like I wasn't just put here on this earth to die and be made into dust again. She made me feel like I had a purpose to live…to actually succeed in something. Like almost anything bad will always turn out good. That happy endings actually do exist.

But as the rain covers my glasses in little droplets, making it hard to see her, I realize that they were all just illusions. Stupid things my mind made up just because I was actually freaking happy for once. But the real world takes up happiness and destroys it.

But no. I am the cause of the pain I feel in my chest, not the rest of the world. I am the reason she is walking away from me. I am the person who kissed a girl I don't even love. I am why my life is shattering before me.

But why? Did I kiss the girl - who I don't even know the name of - because Tris wasn't with me? Because she was more attractive than Tris? Because I am so idiotic to not realize I have something great until I lose it?

Maybe all of the above.

Maybe because I told Tris I would meet up with her later, but refused against it. Maybe because the redhead did have more attractive things about her than Tris does. Maybe because I didn't realize how much my relationship with Tris meant to myself, and to her as well.

I hear the door open behind me, and I whip around quickly thinking maybe Tris came back for me. Maybe she realizes how stupid I was.

No. She walked away from me after saying that she hates me. She isn't coming back.

The person I am met face-to-face with is the redhead I was making out with earlier. I think I am going to be sick just looking at her.

"What do you want?" I scowl at her. She raises her eyebrow at me.

"What has gotten into you? Just minutes ago we were getting at it hard, then you run after that girl." She pauses. "Who was she, anyway?" she asks while seductively walking over towards me. Just two days ago Tris was throwing seductive girls off of me.

But how do I respond? Tris obviously isn't my girlfriend after this, and if I tell the redhead that she was, she'd get pissed. But then again, why am I caring so much about this girl? She has no traces with me whatsoever.

I take a few steps back - away from her - and say, "She's nothing to me now." And it's true. She's nothing to me now. She's not my girlfriend, nor my friend, and I don't think that Tris would even dare to call me someone that she used to know. The redhead seems to take this as a sign that I want to hookup with her now, and she starts walking towards me again with a sly grin stuck on her face. I, on the other hand, turn around and walk away. I hear her huff in annoyance, presumably at me, and hear the slam of a door. She must've walked back inside.

I walk to my car in the rain, occasionally wiping the water off the front of my glasses. I approach my car, unlock it, and sit in the driver's seat, barely caring at all if I get it soaking wet. I have more important things to worry about, and a wet interior of my car is at the bottom of the list.

Tris being at the top.

I drive home in complete silence, wondering why in hell would I kiss that girl. Tris must have crossed my mind at some point, right? Or did I not even give her a second thought, let alone one? I can't remember. I was too caught up in the moment, and my old ways during my sophomore and junior years were making a reappearance. Funny. I just told Tris about that time yesterday.

Yesterday.

A day when she still loved me and everything was fine. When her imperfections were perfections and I never had second thoughts about our relationship. What the hell happened overnight?

My thoughts are interrupted when I hear the honk of a horn and see a car with blinding headlights swerving out of my way. I remember that I didn't even bother turning my headlights on, let alone try to keep my eyes ahead of me on the road.

"Shit!" I say aloud while steering back into my lane of the street. I flick my headlights on and drive the rest of the way home, keeping my thoughts trained on driving.

When I get home, I throw my jacket on the floor and sulk over to the kitchen. I toss my glasses on the floor, not caring if they shatter the glass or not. They remind me of how she loved them. I can't have that memory clear on my face.

I open the refrigerator door and take out the only thing I possibly want right now - a bottle of beer.

I know it's not even legal for me to buy beer yet, let alone drink it, but I'm pretty sure Zeke was the one who brought the case over to my house the last time he came here. Where he got it from, I'll never know. I never bothered, or cared for the least, to ask.

I sit at the kitchen counter and twist off the twistable lid, using the hem of my shirt over my hand so I have more of a grip. It makes the pain of opening a bottle more bearable. But then again, I deserve the pain right now. I bring the bottle up to my lips, but don't take a sip until I'm one hundred percent sure I want to do this. Last time I drank, things ended badly. After going through a pros and cons list in my head, I take a sip of the alcohol. The liquid makes its way down my throat and burns for only a fraction of a second. The burning sensation lessens the more I drink.

Three - or four, I can't remember - beers later, my vision looks blurry. From the amount of alcohol in my system or from my lack of glasses, I'm not sure. I stand up to get another one, but the effort makes my head feel dizzier and the pounding seem harder. I just barely make my way to the couch before I collapse on it.

Why did I have so many beers again? Oh, yeah. To forget her. But if I'm remembering her right now, what's the point of all of this? Just to make myself feel good?

Before I have time to answer my own question, I fall asleep.

And Tris isn't at my side tonight.

I wake up in the morning with a terrible headache.

What the hell happened?

I look into the kitchen and see blurry images of bottles, and everything comes flooding back: Tris, the redhead, the beer.

Wait. The beer. Everything is still a jumbled mess of colors and shapes.

Why is everything so blurry? Shouldn't the alcohol have worn off by now?

I now remember that I threw my glasses on the floor and now they're probably shattered. Good thing I still have my contacts.

I stand up clumsily and make my way upstairs into my room, my headache making it hard to concentrate on walking. I end up tripping more times than I would hope for. When I reach my room, I fumble around in my nightstand's drawer for my contacts. When I feel the plastic case they are in, I unscrew the lids and put each one in my eye.

There we go, I think to myself. Now everything's clearer. Well, my vision for the least.

I head into the bathroom and take out the box of Advil from the medicine cabinet. I pop two in my mouth and swallow them dry. With that said and done and my headache pain subsiding, I dig in my pocket for my phone. I see that I have ten new messages, all varying when they were sent. Some from Zeke, some from Shauna, and one from Christina. When did I put her number in? Probably when she warned me about not hurting Tris…

I put that thought away for now, and I check the messages from Zeke first.

Seven (7) New Messages: ZEEEEEEEEKE ;) ;)

Z: Bro where u ? its 10 after…

Dude. Cmon where r u?

4

…4

4?!

R u sick or something…? Plz pick up man.

Fine. B tht way.

I can't tell him about what happened with Tris yet. He'll be pissed at me. I reply with a simple, " home. Sick," which is the partial truth; my headache isn't fully gone. I open the messages from Shauna.

Two (2) New Messages: Shauna (Zeke's baaaae)

S: Hey 4. Zeke wanted me 2 text u 2 ask where u r. Apparently ur not responding 2 him…?

I guess he was rite.

I roll my eyes and respond with the same thing I told Zeke: that I'm at home and sick. Last, I check Christina's message, scared of what she might know about what happened yesterday.

One (1) New Message: Christina (Tris's friend)

C: 4...where the hell r u & tris? I tried calling her earlier but she didnt answer me…weird, bc she always answers. R u 2 up 2 something?! I WILL find details! (if not, tho, plz try 2 contact her 4 me!)

I text her saying:

F: I'm home sick. Not sure where tris is, tho.

Then it dawns on me.

Tris didn't go home, as far as I know, yesterday.

A/N:

DOOOOOONE.

Tell me what you thought of Tobias's POV.

And don't worry: Tris IS NOT kidnapped or anything. Or physically hurt. I'll explain more next chapter ;)

~thatrandomdivergent