Enjoy! And thank you for reading, it makes me smile! (PS: Still in search of the elusive Beta-Reader for this thing.)
18: Safe Place
When I woke up there were no arms around me, just the cold air from where the comforter had slipped from my frame. I quickly got ready and began to head out the door to do a bit of hunting.
"Wait up!" I turned to see Theodore lumbering down the hallway, "Can I go with you today?"
"Sure, man." I went into the garage and grabbed him a hunting rifle, then off we went. "It was nice to finally spend some time with you yesterday." We started down to the gate.
"It seemed about time."
"If you don't mind my asking," I readied the bow, "what's with the wait?"
He laughed for a little while before answering, "You're scary as shit, Anne."
"Me? Seriously?" I unlocked the gate and we started down the road. "You could break me in two, easily."
"I wouldn't bet on that."
"I don't know, I reckon even Carl could take me down." I laughed, "But I guess I am a bit more deadly than I give myself credit for."
He just laughed as we continued our walk, cutting into the forest. "So how do you like the group?"
"Honestly?" I looked at him out of the corner of my eye and saw him nod, "It's fine as groups go, I'd imagine. Frankly I did just fine by myself, but it's nice to have," I paused. I was friends the right word? Acquaintances? People who weren't dead? "It's nice to have you guys around." There was silence for a long time. Just the soft sound of steps on the dirt, debatably serene. "I don't think I belong though."
"Rick's just wants to protect us."
"No, I understand that. Hell, I even respect that. Papa would've been the same way." I could sense that he wanted to ask me about my father, but the soft steps persisted. "I don't see a thing on the ground." I examined carefully for any sign or track I might have missed.
"There's always tomorrow." We took off towards home.
Once we reached the gate we went our separate ways, "Hey, thanks for not asking about my dad."
He shot me a smile, "Thanks for not asking about mine."
The rest of the day I spend helping Hershel and his daughters harvest what we could. And after dinner I stole away to my perch. I was alone for a while up there, just listening. I could hear the hum of the generator and the noise of the TV downstairs; the occasional bellow of laughter found its way to the roof, causing a smile to cross my face. I felt happy. Happy because I had people who I almost even cared about, at least two that I know I did. I was still an outsider, but I was close enough to feel the connection. Maybe connections aren't bad?
"Mind if I sit out here, Annie?" I looked back waved Rick onto the shingles. "I figured I should tell you as soon as we decided." I raised a brow, but remained focused on the stars. "We couldn't be more grateful for your hospitality, I need you to know that, but…"
"But after winter you'll be on your way." Of course, never feel safe.
"We just think that's what's best."
I couldn't help but feel the bite of sadness in my stomach and behind my eyes. Those I would allow, but the lump in my throat I willed away. "Thanks for giving me the heads-up," my voice had an almost cheery tone to it.
"I'd ask if you'd go with us... I know Carl is fond of you, but I told him that this is your home. We can't expect you to leave it."
That was the most bullshit thing I have ever heard. He didn't want me to go. That's what he really meant. And if they didn't want me to then why would I want to? "Don't worry about it. I'll be staying here." He said something then, a thanks, or something kind, but I didn't want to hear it. What I wanted was for the winter to be over and for these people to be gone. I stayed up on the roof until I heard the TV click off and everyone say their goodnights. Once I was sure they were all neatly tucked in their beds, in my beds, I let myself feel it. The promise of abandonment, the soon-to-be loss of Carl, and the future loss of Daryl: they were all crisscrossing my mind and reeking havoc on me. A cold breeze crossed over the field and I tucked my knees to my chest. Then the tears came. The silence of the night was broken every few beats by my quiet sobs.
"Are you gonna unlock the door, or what?"
I quickly turned towards the open window and wiped my face, "Sorry, I forgot." I scurried over and through the window. Daryl followed me down the hallway and through the door.
"Rick told you then?"
"Yeah," I didn't look at him. All I could do was change into more comfortable clothes and turn off the light. I slid under the covers and faced the wall. Moments later there was an arm around me. "What's the point?"
"Fine." The bed creaked as he moved away.
What was the point? The point was that I will be alone again, and really soon. The point was that right now I wasn't alone. I shouldn't waste this. I sighed and rolled over, resting my head on his chest, "I'm just being stupid." I heard a bit of a laugh before an arm wrapped around me. "Goodnight."