8. Stand (And Fall) Alone – S4 Nick, mild Nick/Olivia - "Out From the Deep" by Enigma
He prepares himself every day. Pushes his body to its limit, tests the range of his ability, hones it until he can pinpoint minds and use it how he likes. He takes control of his life and it feels good. It feels like he was born to this, growing up to fulfil his destiny.
At night, he dreams loosely and lets himself go from the rigidity of his daily life. He knows that he was meant for war but in his sleep he sees other possibilities. He sleeps in his dreams too, wakes from the deepest dream ever then and finds peace with hands clasped in his, a circle of them working together; only to wake up once more, the second coming home to his hyper-alert adrenaline pumped body, edging for a battle.
He blends in, alone in a crowd in the day. Blacks and greys. One among many, a cohesive plan to free their world that he can't let fail.
And in the night he slots into a position in a puzzle, beams with an easy smile he doesn't allow himself these days. He dreams of crossing over to another place, with fear and love in his heart, darkness and light blending in front of his eyes. His dreams do not end well, yet he wakes to another nightmare with a different fear. He has but one purpose and what will he be when the war is over?
They're so close to the end now and he's grateful. He can only be strong for so long, bending himself to a will he doesn't possess naturally, borrowing his time on another's resolve. If he reaches out he can feel Olive, the reassuring smooth veneer of her steely mind that he tries to emulate, but he doesn't call to her.