The Avengers minus Bruce (who knew what he was doing?) were sitting around the kitchen, watching with interesting reactions as Natasha bottle fed Harry. It hadn't occurred to any of them that the Black Widow could be a mother to anyone- but then, it hadn't occurred to her either.
After a few more minutes Bruce came out. He took a deep breath, looking exhausted, and walked back over to them.
"So," he began awkwardly. "We're really doing this then?" Seeing everyone's resolute expressions, he nodded. "Okay. Okay, then…But just to make sure we're all clear on this: if the Other Guy comes out, getting Harry to safety is top priority." The others all nodded vigorously. Bruce looked at Harry in Natasha's arms. "Ah, hello, Harry." He smiled nervously. Harry smiled and giggled. Bruce's nervous smile grew.
"So, now that's taken care of, how'd you guy like to take a look at his nursery?" Tony asked, looking excited. Natasha didn't like that look on his face- it was far too excited. It was the sort of face he had when he was about to do something nobody with common sense would attempt.
Clint raised his eyebrows. "You can't have already created a nursery. I mean, you had forewarning, but not that much time."
Bruce looked at Tony critically. "You were in your workshop the entire time, Tony." He hesitated. "You, ah...you didn't make a nursery in there, did you?"
"Of course not! And I've only started it. It's on Natasha's floor. You don't have a problem with that, do you?" he asked Natasha. She shook her head.
"It's fine. I'd have asked you to put it next to my room, anyways."
"Great! Come on, just wait until you see the crib I made him!" Tony took off, practically running to Harry's new nursery. Natasha and Clint followed, Natasha walking slowly with Harry in her arms, Clint looking rather apprehensive. Bruce followed, with Steve and Thor by him.
Steve looked nervous. "Is he…qualified to make cribs?" Steve asked.
Thor grinned. "Certainly, he has done well! A simple crib is nothing beside his other creations!"
"His other creations are weapons," Bruce pointed out. Thor's smile faltered for a moment.
"But he isn't stupid," Steve put in, reassuring Thor. "He's…eccentric is all. He wouldn't give a baby a weapon."
When they reached the room that was to be Harry's nursery, Tony led them right in.
"So, I know we should probably paint the walls something else, but I couldn't decide- I'm taking your opinions into account. I've also had JARVIS looking for toys, and I've taken the liberty of ordering more baby supplies to be delivered to us, but most importantly- his crib!" Tony said, grinning. He pointed to a metal crib-shaped thing on the floor. It could probably fit another baby or two in there, and was…not off the ground.
"Uh, correct me if I'm wrong here," Clint said. "But shouldn't it be a little higher off the ground?"
Tony nodded. "Of course. See, that's why I had to build it myself. Here's the remote." To Clint's horror, Tony pulled out a remote (which had a disturbing amount of buttons-were they all for the crib? What did Tony think cribs were for?) and pushed one of the buttons. The crib…activated, flying up several feet above ground, by the same sort of technology that he used on his suit. There was fire coming out on the bottom.
"It can go closer to the floor, or higher up. With this," he said, placing his finger on an arrow button, "I can move it around the room- or the entire tower even." Tony was grinning- the others weren't. Bruce groaned, Thor simply stared, trying to decide how to react to the…crib-thing. Clint was glaring at Tony and at his…thing-that-was-not-a-freakin'-crib and Natasha had taken a cautious step away from the crib. Steve was staring at it neutrally. He knew that Tony was a genius, a man beyond his time. He knew that this wasn't the 1940's, and he'd seen Tony's technology work miracles on multiple occasions. But he couldn't help but be reminded of another time he'd seen a Stark showing a flying thing- Howard's flying car.
Which malfunctioned and nearly blew up.
"Tony," Steve said. "I'm not sure that thing is such a good idea…"
"It's fire hazard, Stark," Natasha said. "I'm not putting Harry anywhere near that thing." Tony opened his mouth to protest.
"Not everything has to be out of a sci-fi movie," Clint said.
Tony looked around. "Bad idea?" he polled. Seeing everyone nod, he frowned. "Fine. But, otherwise, good nursery?" At this, everyone nodded.
"Make sure there's a good ventilation shaft in here," Clint said. "I need to be able to keep an eye on Harry."
"You don't need to crawl in the vents to watch over your kid," Bruce pointed out.
"But it gives me the best view," Clint protested. He looked around the room. "I vote we repaint the walls purple and black."
Tony made a barfing motion. "Knew I should have gone ahead and had it painted without you. We should paint it red and yellow."
The two of them were soon bickering over what color Harry's nursery should be, with the others shaking their heads, occasionally tossing in their own opinions. All in all, it seemed that they had gotten a pretty good start to their new job as parents.
A couple days later, most of the avengers were out- Natasha and Clint had gone to find actual furniture for Harry, Tony was dealing with some other idiots who tried to recreate the Iron Man suit, Thor was on Asgard, and Steve had gone...somewhere. Bruce forgot. Or maybe he hadn't asked to begin with. The latter, actually.
So he was the one babysitting Harry. He looked at Harry, who blinked looking at him.
"Hello, Harry," Bruce said. He sat in silence for a few more minutes. "I know you can talk. I know you can- I've heard you call Natasha Mama, several times." Harry blinked and stared back at Bruce. "Do you know any other words?" Harry stared. Bruce frowned, concentrating. "Say 'dada'. Do you know 'Dada'?" Harry blinked. "Dog?"
"Pafoo!" Bruce blinked.
"Dog," Bruce stated again.
"Pafoo!" Harry said. What did "pafoo" have to do with dogs? What was a pafoo for that matter? Something to do with wizards, Bruce supposed.
"Try…uh, try 'duck,'" Bruce suggested. Harry's eyes seemed to recognize that word. Except…
"Duckeefers!" Harry giggled. And it was in that moment that the couch Bruce was sitting on turned into about twenty ducks. "Quack, quack!" camw noises all around Bruce, as Harry giggled. Bruce propped himself up from the ground and looked at Harry.
"Not exactly what I had in mind," he said dryly.
This may be a little more difficult that we'd thought.
I really hope this is good! Is it? I sort of just typed this one up on the spot, cause I'm also working on several other fics, and I'm making sure that none are forgotten.
As for the Duckeefers moment, there are several examples of ducklifors, but I don't remember if it's ever in anything but in a HP video game...
Note: I updated The Gambler's Stone a couple days ago, planning on updating The Best Man next.
So...how was this? Please review. Pretty please. As a birthday gift?