This is kind of excessively fluffy. Not that it's a bad thing... just... you have been warned.

One Man's Treasure & The Fifth Bullet

Castle and Kate lay wrapped up in each other for nearly an hour, alternating between soft kisses, caresses, and murmured words of affection. The journal sat on the pillow behind Kate's head, still open, and it was only a matter of time before Castle's natural curiosity finally won out. After a few minutes of staring intently at the lined pages, trying to decipher his handwriting from a distance, he gave up, too far away to make out the words on the page.

So, interrupting things in a way only Castle could, he reached over her and picked up the journal, brought it down between them.

Kate raised an eyebrow, the one that silently said, 'way to ruin the moment, but you're still completely adorable,' but instead of speaking, she merely shifted so they both could read and allowed herself to be swept up once more.

Kate,

Cases like this make me never want to get married again. There's just so much drama; cheating spouses and lies and... it's just ridiculous. I've already dealt with all of that. Twice. And believe me, I have no desire to ever go through any of it again. For now, single life is just fine with me.

Apparently I'm not good with long-term commitment anyway. Every time I try, it always seems to end badly; cheating, constant fighting. Not to mention that whatever I'm going through is splashed all over Page Six for the world to see. That way all of New York City can be informed of the fact that Richard Castle has failed in yet another relationship. After reading all of that, I can't imagine why someone would want to commit to me.

I guess maybe I'm just not cut out for marriage. They say it isn't for everyone, and apparently I'm no exception. But that's okay. It's not like I'm in any hurry to go through all of that again. It's sad, a bit, to consider growing old without someone by my side. It's that childhood fantasy we all have. But if I've learned one thing, it's that glorified daydreams very rarely reflect the reality of life.

But I have my mother and I have Alexis, and they're the best family I could ever ask for. And I have you guys... Ryan and Espo and Lanie and Captain Montgomery and you. You five are some of the closest friends I've had in years, and it means a lot to me. It gives me hope that I'll never truly be alone.

And who knows... maybe someday someone will come along and change my mind about marriage.

-Castle

"You didn't really mean that, did you?" Kate asked worriedly as she finished reading.

"Mean what?"

"That you never wanted to get married again?"

"Then? Absolutely," he admitted openly.

"What changed?" she inquired.

"You," he answered easily. "And me, I think. I'm in a better place now. Back then, I wasn't that far out of my second divorce. And in retrospect, Gina and I were doomed from the start. But I'd wanted a second chance and I thought we could make it work. And she didn't seem like the type to cheat."

"Meredith cheated on you?" Kate exclaimed, appalled. "Why would she..." cheat on Richard Castle? Was the woman crazy?

Then again, if Meredith had stayed faithful, Kate might not be here with him right now, so in some twisted way she was thankful for the woman's infidelity.

"I didn't know," she said softly upon realizing that Castle still hadn't spoken. "I'm so sorry, Rick."

He shrugged again, this one doing an even worse job of hiding his inner anguish. "It's okay. It was a long time ago."

"No, it's not," Kate said firmly. "It still hurts. I can see it, Castle."

"It does," he agreed reluctantly. "But I have Alexis and I have you, so I can't be too upset."

She curled a hand around his neck, tugged him closer so she could meld their lips together, comfort and an apology wrapped up in the gesture.

They separated slowly, lingering, but eventually Castle pulled back to meet her eyes and finish answering her. "But now, no. I don't still feel that way. To the right person, I'd get married in a heartbeat." His eyes bore into hers, leaving no doubts as to his meaning. "But only if I knew it was forever."

She wrapped her arms around his neck, nuzzled against his cheek, lips caressing his as she spoke. "Forever is good."

They kissed lazily for a few minutes, content to simply spend a relaxing morning in each other's company. Kate wasn't naïve enough to believe they'd last the whole morning naked in bed together without certain other activities transpiring eventually. But for now, this was exactly what they needed.

Castle pulled away first, kissed her forehead, her nose, her cheeks, the freckle below her left eye, before leaning his forehead against hers and just soaking in the warmth of their bodies, the comfort of their love.

The notebook was still clutched in his fist and, eventually, their attention drifted back to the words on the page, eager to see what the next letter held in store for them.

Kate,

I kind of envy Jeremy. Not the amnesia part, because I have many treasured memories I never want to lose. But the second chance part. He's starting over from a blank slate, and while that's heartbreaking in many aspects, I think we all have things we'd like to forget about or have a second crack at. I know I do. A relationship that ended badly. Two marriages that failed. Lots of mistakes. Hurting you by looking into your mom's case. All of those are things I wish I could take back or at least do differently. I know you learn from your mistakes, but those are ones I wish I'd been smart enough to not make in the first place. Things I regret.

They say you shouldn't have regrets, and I understand that logic. But we all do anyway, don't we? Even if we say we don't, we all have regrets. Except Jeremy. Because even if he had them, he doesn't remember them. And I'm sure it's difficult for him to not remember certain things, but it's also a blessing in a way. Now he can start over new.

Of course I don't want to experience what he has, but I still hope to have a chance to metaphorically start over someday, too. In a way, I feel like I've finally found a means to do so; being here at the Twelfth. I have a new purpose now, new inspiration, new friends. It doesn't erase the old mistakes or regrets, but it makes them easier to accept now that I know I can move on from them and have a chance to make things right. Or better, at least. And that I can help others along the way.

Maybe it will help you start to see me in a better light, too. I think very highly of you, Kate. I just hope someday you can say the same about me.

-Castle

"I almost see your point," Kate said softly, voice far away as was her gaze.

"How so?"

She returned her focus to him, features serious. "Regrets. Second chances. There are a few years of my life I'd like to do over. You know... coping differently, doing more to help my dad."

"Mmmm."

"But on the other hand, I'm who I am as a result of my experiences, good and bad. And you and me... we maybe wouldn't be here today if those things had gone differently. If we'd made different choices."

He nodded along to her words, taking in her point of view, the effortless wisdom she always seemed to possess. "You're right. I never looked at it that way."

Castle kissed her deeply, hugged her to him, breathed her in. God, he just couldn't get enough of her. She was a constant surprise, especially at times like this. For someone who'd done everything in her power to shut him out when they'd first met, he was amazed on a regular basis by just how willing she was to open up to him now. The depths of her heart and her intelligence blew him away almost daily.

"I love your mind," he whispered into her hair, cradling her naked body to his. Not arousing, just loving. Adoring.

"Just my mind?" she asked coyly, eyes sparkling.

Okay, now it was arousing.

"All of you." To emphasize his point, he ran his hand along the curve of her waist, over the soft flare of her hip as his eyes stared straight through her, unearthing all of her secrets.

"Yeah?" She placed a hand flat on his chest, pushed him onto his back, rose above him. Her hair hung down in front of her, the ends brushing against his skin, tantalizing, enthralling. She watched it ripple through him as she leaned in, closer and closer. "Prove it."

Thoughts?