New Chapter! Finals are over, winter inter-session has begun, and all I want to do is write something fun! This chapter, not so fun... But good times to come (or am I lying to you? Mwahaha evil laughter whahaha). Anyways. Thank you for reading, and thanks to my beta-readers! Seriously, you all make the time I put into this thing worth it. :) ENJOY!
33: Watch Annie Crumble.
March came on a sunny day. Birds were chirping ironically somewhere in the distance that morning as I stood on the porch and watched the group pack everything into the bus. I was dead set on not crying though. Not yet. I'd cry after they were down the hill and out of sight, but for now I just leaned against the railing with a small smile on my face, taking everything in one last time.
"Thank you for your hospitality these last few months," Rick held out his hand and I took it and gave it a few shakes.
"No problem. It was a pleasure to have you all as company." Most of the goodbyes were shared last night, and I couldn't have been more thankful. I don't think I could've held it together otherwise. As they trickled out of the house I received various knowing looks and pats on the shoulder from my… friends? Sure. After all this I'd consider them friends. I tightened my grip on Carl's bag as he and Lori came to join Rick beside me.
"Everyone's ready except for Daryl, he said he's got a few more things to get from the house." The former police officer nodded to me and started off towards the bus.
"This is for you," I smiled and extended the bag toward Carl. Before he could reach for the zipper I held up my hand to stop him, "Wait to open it 'til you get down the hill."
He nodded, and gave me a quick hug, "Your present is in your room."
"You stay safe out there, buddy," I scruffled his hair, "And I'll see you soon."
"You too," I could see the uneasiness in his eyes. I felt uneasy too. Like when you had to go away for a long trip. Like how I used to feel going off to college for the semester. I gave him a shove and he ran to join Lori by the bus.
I observed them all piling into the bus, bags flying, various orders being barked, and I felt a small yet strong stab at my heart that sent water to my eyes, but I sighed it away. I heard a thud by the door. "I think they're waiting for you," I smirked at him. I hated that our time together was over, at least the time I knew I'd get, out here that was the only time that really mattered. The string of heavenly nights we had in preparation of this day somehow only made all this more difficult. I really didn't want to have to part ways.
"So?" he leaned against the doorway, out of view of the packed bus. I scurried over to give him a hug, but I just couldn't stop myself. I was still starving, and this was the last meal. Mouths, lips, tongues. One last bit of good. Just a little something for the road. A solid minute, maybe two, I sure as hell was too busy to be counting. "Alright. I gotta get going," he pushed me away. I couldn't hide the my inner petulant child from taking over my expressions, which caused one last laugh out of him. I'd miss that laugh. Soon his hands found my face, "Don't die, okay?" I nodded. No way I was dying. I needed to make it to next spring. He gave me one last kiss before he picked up his things from the floor, "And you better keep your promise to the kid and come find us, or we'll come looking."
"I will," he stepped off the porch and I followed forking towards the gate as he branched towards the bus, "Hey!" I waited for him to look back, "I love you." He nodded and I turned and jogged to the gate. Just have to hold it together for a few more seconds. Then I'll let go. I unlocked the gate and pulled it open just in time for the bus to pass through. Don't think about it. Don't think about them leaving just yet. I gave a wave with glazed eyes, too weak to actually look at my friends as they passed.
And then it was back to the way it was before. Annie alone.
I locked the gate; I had to just make it to the house. The locks fumbled in my hands, but eventually I got through it. Now, just the short walk. Just one foot in front of the other and you'll be there in no time. Just get to the house. The empty house. My empty house. Then came the flood. I ran the last hundred feet unable to see a thing, but I didn't need to. Not here. Here was familiar. Here was safe. I slammed the door behind me in time to crumble to the floor. Alone. Again. They're gone. I cared about them. I actually cared and I didn't even fight to stay with them. Not hard enough. I shouldn't have taken no for an answer. I should have begged. The snot began to fill my nose, and I resorted to breathing from my mouth.
"Please!" I yelled to the empty house. I should have pleaded with Rick, not to abandon me. I can't be alone again. Not again. I can't do this.
I can't do this.
Not again.
I can't go through this again.
I continued for hours. Lying there, wailing, beating the dark wood with my fists. I yelled until I was hoarse. I cried until I was a mess of saltwater and snot. I kicked until I was exhausted. And then I hit the ground some more. Hours. Hours of the pain and rage I'd been holding in for months. Hours of letting the wall crumble and allowing for vulnerability.
By the time the sun set I had tired out. The weeping had ceased a while ago, and now there was just the tears. Eventually I picked myself up. I went into the kitchen and grabbed a loaf of bread. Then I went to the pantry and pulled out the Belvedere. Drink. I needed a stiff drink. I needed several stiff drinks. I needed several stiff drinks and a lobotomy. I made my way to the living room in stubby steps, trying not to look around, trying not to remember that less than a day ago there were other people here, but thinking of them was all I could do. I set the bottle and bread on the coffee table and made my way to the DVDs. "Something good." I ran my finger along the titles, "Something funny… No romance…" I re-scanned before deciding on Hot Fuzz. I popped it in and went about trying to treat the symptom. Pain? Alcohol is a great pain reliever. Sad? Funny movies can fix that. Weak? Eat something. All the things you need to combat the ominous loneliness, and at such a convenient distance.
And so I spent my night, drinking and laughing my pain into oblivion. Sure, I'll deal with everything. I'll deal with the loneliness. I'll deal with the loss. I'll deal with my new life. But not today. Not today, and certainly not tonight.
So there it is. The gang is gone. :( Poor little Annie. Make sure to review with your thoughts, concerns, criticisms! The more reviews, the more time I devote to the story (that's just fanfiction science right there), so let me know how you like the story/chapter/Annie/anything! And THANKYOU THANKYOU!