Den of Thieves

"So... it's only nine in the morning," Kate said softly against the shell of Castle's ear, felt him shudder at the feeling of her lips and teeth and hot breath caressing the sensitive lobe.

"It is," he managed, voice slightly strained.

She pursed her lips. "We have all day until our date."

Her voice was low and sultry and far too sexy for him to be expected to actually focus on whatever it was she was trying to say. And he knew she knew exactly what she was doing to him. But he could never bring himself to call her on it because while other men might laugh and call him whipped, he loved being under her spell. She was amazing and it was entrancing and so addicting and he just... he couldn't imagine it any other way.

She was staring at him with wide hazel eyes, a smugness chasing the green flecks around her irises, making them dance and twinkle in the morning light. She raised one eyebrow, a perfect arch, and Castle realized then that it was his turn to say something and he should probably stop being mesmerized by her for long enough to formulate some kind of sentence.

"We do," was all he could come up with.

She smiled, far too proud of herself for reducing him to two-word sentences. "So what shall we do to pass the time?"

"Well I, umm, well..." he stammered.

Kate laughed softly, reached down to snag the journal from his hand and place it on the bed in front of them.

"Right."

She grinned, obviously pleased with herself for getting him so worked up without really expending much effort. She raised her eyebrow again, spoke saucily.

"Did you have other plans?"

He swallowed hard, forced back the arousal that was thrumming through his veins and darkening his eyes and lacing his voice.

"No. Of course not."

She smiled knowingly, pressed a hot kiss to his lips before turning her attention back to the journal, to the next letter.

Dear Kate,

I'm not really sure what to say today. I'm so rarely at a loss of words when it comes to you, because there are always new things to learn and discover, and you never fail to amaze me. But what I've learned over the last few days doesn't fall into that category. It was painful, actually. A slap in the face.

You met Demming this week. Mr. Too-Smooth Robbery Detective. I don't like him... mainly because he's had his eye on you from the moment he set foot on the Homicide floor. And I don't like it. I'm supposed to be your partner. I'm supposed to be the one you work with every day, the one who brings you coffee every morning.

Then he came along and walked right over me, took over my coffee duties and apparently also my place on the team. I thought I meant more than that, thought I was at least a little less expendable than that. It hurts, Kate, to know that you can turn your back so easily just because some new guy walks in and has eyes for you.

I have eyes for you too. I have for months now, and it goes beyond just wanting to sleep with you. Believe it or not, it's different from when I propositioned you at the end of our first case. I'm not just after you for one night anymore. I don't just see you as a good time that I'll walk away from in the morning. You've become more than that. I just wish you could see that so you wouldn't be so blinded by him.

He asked me if you and I are an item. It didn't surprise me, really, because he hasn't been subtle about his attraction to you. I told him no, because it was the right thing to do. But now I hate that I chose right over my heart. I didn't think it would be such a big deal... until I had to watch you flirt with him, too. Until I had to watch you smile at him when he walked through the doors, until I heard you turn down my coffee because he'd already brought you some. Until I had to sit outside and watch you two interrogate a suspect together, like I had no real place on the team.

That hurt, Kate.

I know you would have killed me but I wish I'd said yes. I wish I'd told him you and I had something. That wouldn't have been right but it would have hurt a hell of a lot less than this.

The truth is, I do follow you around for research and for fun, because I really enjoy helping with the cases. But there's more to it. I like being with you, getting to know you better, and unraveling the mysteries of you. You're intriguing, Kate. And I don't know exactly what we are or what I want us to be, but it certainly doesn't involve a robbery detective.

But he's obviously interested in you and it's clearly mutual, so maybe it's time for me to step aside. I can't stand the thought of that, but I'll manage. I'll find a way. Fantasies and hopes and dreams have carried me through for the last year and a half; it's not anywhere near enough, but I guess it will have to do.

-Castle

"Espo was right," Kate murmured almost to herself as she finished reading.

"Hmmm?"

Her eyes snapped to his as she realized that she spoke the words aloud. "Oh... I just... Esposito was right."

"About?"

"You. Why you were there every day."

"He talked to you about me?" Castle asked in surprise.

She nodded, something akin to regret and pain flashing through her eyes as the memory came crashing back through her consciousness, the sharp edges of his rejection still present.

"When you decided to leave for the summer. I assumed it was just your last case for a few months but he wasn't convinced you'd ever come back. He told me you weren't hanging around to watch me be with someone else."

"Smart man."

"That's why..."

Oh, God.

They'd never had this conversation, had they? She'd never told him what really happened with Demming. But she couldn't very well back out of it now.

"I broke up with him."

"Demming?"

She nodded.

"You already told me that."

"But I didn't tell you why. Or when."

"When?" he asked in confusion. "It was over the summer, I thought."

She shook her head. "It was before you left, Castle."

His mouth fell open and she watched the regret surface, cast a shadow over his eyes.

"Right before your going-away party. Espo scared me into thinking you might be leaving for good and that was my moment, I guess you could say. I realized the thought of not having you around wasn't something I ever wanted. So I broke up with him."

"You never went to that cabin?"

She shook her head. "I was going to ask you if I was still invited to the Hamptons, but then..."

She trailed off then, eyes flicking downward. Completing the sentence wasn't necessary; they both knew exactly what'd happened next.

He dropped his head forward onto her shoulder, sighed heavily. "God, I'm such an idiot. I never knew."

"It's okay," Kate said softly, arms lifting to wrap around him, hold him close.

"It's not."

"No, it is," she assured him, voice steadier than she felt. "It was all wrong then."

The pain would always linger and she knew she'd never forget what it felt like to watch him walk away arm-in-arm with his ex-wife. But their timing had been wrong and Kate knew now that regardless of her feelings for him back then, she wasn't in a place where their relationship would have stood a fighting chance. Neither of them were.

He was still skeptical but indulged her, interested to hear her logic. "How do you figure?"

"We weren't ready. Neither one of us. I was with Tom. You were with Gina."

"But..."

"It wasn't the way to start, Castle. Not when it took you leaving for me to even realize I didn't want you to go."

He nodded slowly, enveloped her in his arms anyway because though she'd rationalized it in her head, he could see it still hurt.

"I'm sorry," he murmured. "

"And I'm sorry too," she continued, "for ignoring your feelings."

Castle nudged her head up with his nose so he could press their lips together softly, lovingly.

"We're here now," she whispered against him, lips brushing his as she spoke. "We're here and we're together."

"We are," Castle ceded softly. Truth be told, he'd do it all over again if that was what it took for them to have their shot at forever. "And we've learned to forgive and move on, and that's what's important."

Thoughts?