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A/N: Rewrote this, cause she seemed slightly bipolar, there. Hope y'all like it.
Honestly, what is wrong with you? Why don't you realize that Samus isn't into you. I mean, you don't know I exist, but you notice every little thing she does. What in the world is your problem? Is it just basic man instinct to notice the, er, more generously endowed girls who jump around in a skintight suit instead of the proper lady going through an overly blatant courting routine practically right in front of you?
Ugh! Maybe this will help you notice that other people have feelings for you, even if you can't get over your lust for her. When you look past the harlot, keep in mind that I was there for you almost as long as she was.
I love you.
By the way, you left this in the common room. Please try to be more careful with it in the future.