Brenda/Sharon (4)

I Hate You

It was always easier to tell Sharon a lie than it was to tell herself the truth.

When her mouth was on Sharon's, sharing an intense, desperate kiss as their hands gripped everywhere, it was easier to murmur between kisses that it was going to be the last time.

Sharon seemed to get more forceful as each lie was fed to her. She pushed Brenda up against the wall, her hands moving down to the hem of Brenda's dress, dragging it up all the way until she could throw it across the room. Sharon was aggressive, her hands splayed out against Brenda's toned stomach until she moved to grasp Brenda's laced covered breasts. Brenda moaned in her throat, breathing faster as she watched through lustful eyes as Sharon's mouth and hands worked her breasts, kneading, sucking and biting as she pulled the delicate material off her – Brenda wouldn't be surprised if she found a rip later.

When Sharon pulled Brenda to her bed, pushing her backward and practically pouncing on her like a predatory animal, it was easier to pretend she believed herself when she said in her mind that this was just about dealing with the tension they built up while arguing.

Sharon's hands were smooth, but her touch was the type of rough that Brenda craved. Sharon pushed her thighs apart and she groaned, baring herself to the woman that was looking down on her with a hungry look in her green eyes. Sharon kissed and nipped at her thighs, her hips, her stomach. And then Sharon moved down to Brenda's glistening center, which had been begging for Sharon's touch for hours. Sharon was so good at the things she did to her body. Her tongue so smooth, her hands so precise with her touch, and her mouth so talented.

When Brenda arched her back, wrapping her legs around Sharon as the woman's tongue made circles over her clit before sucking it into her mouth and moaning, Brenda panted and cried out words that held more meaning than she wanted Sharon to understand.

Sharon was powered on by everything Brenda did. Sharon moved her fingers to Brenda's center and slowly entered her with two fingers, curving them up as she watched Brenda's eyes. She moved her fingers back and forth over that sensitive pad of flesh, and she sucked harder on her clit. Brenda kept her eyes on Sharon's as she bucked her hips and let out a wail, climaxing hardly. Sharon continued pleasing her until she could take no more and she was whimpering, pulling away from her.

When Sharon led her to the door, wrapped in her robe, Brenda looked up at her, wanting to say something that would prove to both Sharon and herself that it would be the last time. When words like 'I hate you' and 'I don't want to see you' should have been said, she couldn't find them. 'I love you' and 'I can't wait to see you again' were the ones that came to mind instead. So she said nothing other than a goodbye, but they both knew Brenda would be back.

Sticks and Stones

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. As Sharon tossed back the shot of tequila, she bitterly laughed in her head. It was all lies. Whatever person decided to tell her that when she was younger had lied to her.

Words could cause a great amount of pain and hurt. At the moment she could only think of one thing that hurt more than the things people said: the things they didn't say. And as she licked her lip, catching the drop of tequila on it with her tongue, she wasn't certain which she was hurt by.

"Maybe we're just rushin' into this." The words played in her head like one of those songs that would worm itself into your brain and stay there for days. Sharon wasn't used to being on that end of the conversation. She was the one that usually chickened out. Sharon fell hard once she did, but it took time for her to get there. And she had reached that place where she was almost certain everything was working. And then, boom, Brenda tells her they should slow things down. At their age was there really a reason to slow down? Either it works or it doesn't. And from the look in Brenda's eyes – regretful and full of sadness – Sharon was sure it wasn't going to work.

Sharon ordered herself another shot and looked down into it. She wasn't usually a tequila drinker. Then again, she wasn't usually one to let things get to her like this. Everything was different with Brenda. Brenda got under her skin in a way nobody else could. And up until their conversation earlier, Sharon enjoyed the way Brenda pushed her a little further and unraveled her. But the pain in her heart was something she had thought she was done feeling years ago. Stupid of her to let someone else in. She always told herself she wouldn't for that very reason. But Brenda, infuriating, commanding, gotta-have-it-my-way Brenda was somehow everything she wanted.

Sharon called herself a cab and ordered herself one last drink. She paid her tab, and when she could hear the honking of the cab outside of the bar, she lifted the shot straight to her lips and threw it back, swallowing it along with those words that Brenda said to her. And the alcohol was gone, the burn would fade, but the words Brenda said to her were permanent and there to stay.

Jealousy

Brenda was uncharacteristically quiet as they sat on the plane, the two of them on their way back to Los Angeles. She was working with the Major Crimes Division on a case, which is how she ended being the one going with Brenda when she needed to head down to Texas. After traveling to Texas, they found out the suspect they were going there for had killed himself, therefore, their time had been wasted.

They still had the night in Texas and decided to go to the bar at the hotel. Everything had gone well until Sharon had started talking to another woman that sat down beside her at the bar. Brenda left her, going to their hotel. And when Sharon knocked on Brenda's door when it was time for them to leave, Brenda had already been in a weird mood.

Sharon looked over to Brenda, wanting to say something to figure out what was wrong with Brenda, but she didn't know what to say. Brenda, most likely feeling her looking, turned and faced her. She raised an eyebrow, silently questioning her. Sharon didn't respond with anything other than a thin smile as she turned back, facing forward in her seat, sighing.

There was a quiet pause before Brenda cleared her throat. "What happened last night after I left?"

Sharon turned back, eyebrow raised. "Nothing important. I finished my drink and then went up to my room."

"Alone?"

Sharon tried to hide the shock that the simple, one worded question brought on, but her eyes had widened a little and she knew Brenda saw it. "Who else would I have gone with?"

Brenda shrugged as she turned to look out the window. "What about that woman with those big, blue eyes? You two seemed like you were gettin' on so well last night. Maybe you thought..."

"Do you really think I would-" Sharon shook her head. "After you left, so did I. I can't believe you would think I would sleep with a woman I just met in a bar."

Brenda gave her a disbelieving look. "She was all over you," she said like it would be reason enough.

"She was not," Sharon scoffed. The woman had been friendly, but that was it. It seemed like Brenda thought she would sleep with just any woman ever since she found out that she was bisexual.

"But you liked her," Brenda accused.

Sharon rolled her eyes. "You're doing it again. Why don't you really say what's really bothering you? Every time another woman talks to me you think more of it than you should. It's not healthy to be this jealous."

"Jealous?" Brenda scoffed, turning with wide eyes. "You think I'm jealous? I-I'm not jealous." Sharon only responded with a hum, crossing her legs as she looked away. "I'm not. I'm concerned."

Sharon laughed darkly. "You can't even think of a better lie? Isn't that supposed to be one of your specialties?!"

Brenda groaned in her throat. "I wasn't jealous, and I'm not jealous now."

"So what if I had slept with her last night, hm?" Brenda only shrugged, her face dropping. "For a woman who claims to be straight, you sure are very interested in the women I may or may not sleep with."

"Forget I even said anythin'."

Sharon let silence sit between them for a minute before she turned in her seat. "I wouldn't have slept with her even if she was interested and I hadn't just been meeting her. I don't sleep with other people when I'm interested in someone else," she said slowly, her voice softening.

Brenda turned to her slowly, her eyebrow raised. She didn't say anything, not wanting to guess something and say the wrong thing. Sharon pressed her lips together, waiting for a response that wasn't coming. She sighed and then turned around. Brenda reached out and took Sharon's hand into her own, making the older of the two look up.

"Maybe I was a little jealous," Brenda admitted. Sharon gave her a half-smile. "I'm not used to these, uh, feelin's I've been feelin'."

"I know," Sharon answered simply.

Brenda let out a deep breath before she leaned closer, just enough to silently let Sharon know she wanted to kiss her. Sharon closed the space and their lips brushed quickly for the first time. Brenda smiled when Sharon pulled back, looking into Sharon's green eyes.

"I'm right here to help you along," Sharon whispered.

"I know," Brenda said before she leaned forward to kiss Sharon again.

Why would you do this?

Your head is fuzzy and you can feel the pain behind your eyes without even opening them. You immediately know you aren't alone. It's the feeling of hair on your shoulder, a body against your back, and a hand on your very bare breast that makes flashes from the night before come to mind.

You see little glimpses of your night at the bar. The drinking, the dancing, the singing (if you can consider the horrible off-key stuff you were doing that), and all the other things you haven't done in years are things you did last night. You were reluctant to accept the offer to go out, but you enjoyed letting go completely.

Why would you do this? Well, that answer is given to you moments after you mentally ask yourself.

"Mornin'," Brenda whispers against your ear, her voice a tired purr.

You smile and turn around, looking at her before you kiss her. The way Brenda kisses you, soft and slow, lets you know all you need to know.