A/N: Thank you for the reviews. They are so greatly appreciated and I love them! This is a warning that this chapter does contain some Staig smut... As a side pairing I never thought I'd write them a smut scene but it happened.

Also, if anyone knows whether taco flavoured ice-cream actually exists, you'd make mine and Clyde's days. Seriously.

Please review! :D

Taco Eating Pants

Clyde drove to Craig's house in the strangest mood. He could not quite put his finger on what the mood was, nor could he explain it. It was a weird mixture of peace, joy and relief, but with an over-hanging worry. The sense of relief primarily came from his interactions with Kevin's mother the previous night. He had, as with anyone, been very complimentary about the food. He had very honestly been able to say it was some of the best he had ever tasted. Foreign cuisine was a love of his and after that meal, Chinese came in at number two - a position nothing could ever climb higher than for the Mexicans had forever and always secured number one.

Not only had talk of the food been good, but also talk of other things. Kevin's father had asked him every question imaginable about his position on the basketball and even baseball teams, regardless of the fact he'd already asked the questions before. Clyde had been more than happy to answer these questions and he'd noticed at some points - like at the mention of his scholarship - that Mrs Stoley had a slight smile on her face. The smile came again when Clyde's position as captain had been re-mentioned. Clearly, boasts of such things that showed dedication, hard work and power did have some positive effects on her, even if it was 'only sport'.

Any interest from Mrs Stoley was a good thing. She'd never been a fan of Clyde even when she believed he was only Kevin's friend. A smile meant everything.

The worry came from Craig's insistence to talk with Clyde. He sounded serious and Clyde did not want to hear bad news, not anything that could affect his life again and not anything that would negatively affect Craig's. They needed some normality. They just needed everything to stay the same way for a while.

He parked his car at the end of Craig's drive and, getting out, glanced back at his bumper sticker. He grinned. He knew Token didn't expect him at all to put in on his car - he probably thought Clyde would put it somewhere in his room - but Clyde loved it and had proudly stuck it on his car as Kevin guided him. Kevin's line, 'That's good. It looks straight now,' had kept them laughing for a significant amount of time.

Clyde chuckled again as he walked through Craig's front door. He was expected, so knew he could just walk straight in. He found Craig at his laptop in his room, eyes focused on the screen, yelling in fury every few seconds, exclaiming various expletives and looking as if he was about to throw his laptop out the window. Clyde leaned over his shoulder and grinned.

"Are you playing Happy Wheels?"

Craig jumped up and yelled out again in shock. He turned and shot Clyde an angry glare, then laughed. "Dying... a lot, and watching my guts fly everywhere." Clyde glanced at the screen and laughed at the string of intestines connecting the man's torso to his legs.

"Good times, dude." He flopped down onto Craig's bed and stared up at the ceiling. "I once made a level for that. It was terrible."

Craig flipped down the lid of his laptop. "I can believe that." He glanced down at Clyde. "Comfy?"

"Well, your pillows are a bit hard, even worse than mine. Kevin has soft pillows. His are feather."

"Well, you better not swap me for Kevin then. I'd be terrible to sleep with."

"I'll keep that in mind." Clyde closed his eyes and sank into Craig's pillows nonetheless. Craig sighed and tried to pull Clyde back up.

"Sit up and listen to me, dumbass. There was a reason I wanted you over urgently."

There was the worry again. "What's so important?"

"I know that Stan has feelings for me."

"You do!?" Clyde sat up in shock. He frowned at Craig. "So why do you keep messing him around?"

"I-" Craig paused. "Wait, what?"

"I figured you didn't know his feelings and were just being friendly, but if you're purposefully doing things like putting your arm around and teasing him when you know it will create feelings... that's just mean."

"Clyde, I wouldn't. That's not what I'm doing." Craig laughed a little. "You've read it wrong."

"I have?" Clyde frowned. "Well explain then." Craig cleared his throat before his spoke and sat down next to Clyde. His cheeks had gone slightly red and his eyes darting more, as if he was nervous. Clyde could see that the hat wasn't helping with how his friend appeared to be overheating. Craig cleared his throat again and then spoke.

"Stan and I... we're a - I mean... Stan is my boyfriend." Craig's voice wavered slightly. "I-I'm gay and Stan's my boyfriend and I love him." Craig looked with slight concern at Clyde's gaping face, jaw hanging open and eyes wide. "Uh... yeah."

"How... long have you known you were gay?" asked Clyde quietly.

"I've liked Stan for quite a while."

Clyde nodded. "That's certainly... unexpected." He shook his head and tried to understand what he'd just heard. It was the shock more than anything. How had he and his best friend known they were gay for so long without the other realising? Craig stretched out his hand to Clyde's shoulder.

"You alright?"

"Yeah, fine." Clyde smiled lightly. "It's just weird. You never told me."

"You never told me that you were with Kevin," reminded Craig. "I had to walk in on you showering together."

"Yeah, but, I didn't know how you'd react to me being gay. You've had plenty of time knowing that I have nothing against homosexuals... because I am on!"

Craig nodded. "I know but you had a lot of problems to deal with and I didn't want to create any further drama."

Clyde laughed. "There's no drama. I'm happy for you! Stan's a bit of a shock. Why Stan?" A smile came to Craig's face and his eyes seemed to glaze over slightly.

"Why Stan? Why not Stan? He's amazing. He's so... amazing."

Clyde had never seen his best friend take on that face before. Ever. He glanced to Craig's door as Stan walked through - as if on cue. He raised his eyebrows at the football Jock and knew from Stan's expression that he'd known what Craig was planning on doing that day. Stan blushed and rubbed his neck, looking nerved by the events.

"Sorry, dude, I thought you'd be done."

Clyde nodded and looked Stan up and down. He looked to Craig and saw the look that had increased in his best friends eyes - it was love. He could read the supporting, calm expression Craig had taken, which was reassuring Stan to not freak out. He saw the twitch of the arm from Craig wanting to automatically put his arm around his boyfriend. Clyde grinned and jumped up, hugging Stan tightly.

"It all makes so much sense now. Why couldn't I see it the day you told me you liked him?!"

Stan jumped and hugged Clyde back. "I guess you wouldn't expect Craig to be gay or whatever."

"Well, I should be used to expecting the unexpected when it comes to that now."

Stan smiled. "Yeah."

"I think this is great."

Stan sighed. "We're glad."

"It means so much that you're so happy, Clyde," added Craig.

"Of course I am! And you've been so supportive to me. I love that I can support you back. We should go out for celebratory tacos!" Excitement filled Clyde's voice.

Craig rolled his eyes and smirked. "Sure."

"I think we should take Kenny," added Stan. "He deserves it." Craig nodded in agreement and Clyde smiled.

"Okay. I'll go pick him up now." Clyde jumped up. "I'll swing by my house for my taco eating pants and do that. Back in about a half hour." He ran out the room, Stan staring after him in confusion.

"Taco eating pants?"

Craig rolled his eyes. "Sweat pants with greater give so he can eat more."

"...Right." Stan pulled of his sneakers and flopped down on Craig's bed, smiling happily and sinking his head into a pillow.

"Why is everyone obsessed with my bed today?" asked Craig. He laughed and went to lie beside Stan, putting an arm around him. "Though Clyde complained about my pillows."

Stan gasped. "I love your pillows! They support your neck perfectly."

Craig grinned. "And that's why I'm with you. It's all a question of pillows, you know? The reason Clyde's not swapping Kevin for me is his feather pillows."

"I couldn't deal with feather pillows."

"Me neither."

"Too soft."

"Far too soft."

Stan turned to Craig. "It means we're meant to be."

"It does." Craig leant over Stan and caught his lips in a kiss. Stan sighed happily and kissed back.

"I'm lucky," he whispered, wrapping his arms around Craig's back and pulling him closer to share in his warmth. As Craig pushed his lips down harder and moved his hands to entwine in his hair, Stan pulled Craig's hat off, throwing it to the floor. He happily pushed his fingers up through Craig's hair and felt it's softness. Why Craig always decided to hide it under a hat was beyond him. That hair needed to be on show.

Stan was going to hide the stupid hat.

He smirked into the kiss and pulled lightly on Craig's hair. Craig held the kiss a little longer and then trailed his lips down Stan's jaw, sucking slowly on the skin and making pleased groaning sounds. Stan had discovered that Craig could get very vocal when he was aroused and this was a clear sign of things to come. Stan groaned as well because the feeling was so perfect.

"I'm lucky too," mumbled Craig, moving his lips to Stan's neck. "I have the captain of the football team all to myself. He's my boyfriend."

Whether Craig truly felt like that fact was something to be proud of, or was instead making a well-timed dig, Stan didn't care. All Stan cared about was that Craig did indeed want him as a boyfriend. His breath hitched slightly at the soft biting on his neck and he savoured this feeling a few seconds before replying:

"Well I got the much desired guy that everyone believed to be asexual."

Craig chuckled and moved his mouth up to Stan's ear, whispering gruffly, "But you know he's not asexual."

Stan felt his pants begin to tighten as a shockwave of pleasure ran down his body. He couldn't resist when Craig used such a sultry voice. He pulled Craig's lips back towards his own and kissed them more urgently than before. He did not want to remove his fingers from Craig's hair, but neither did he want to deny other body parts. Craig's shoulder muscles were the next things that cried out to be touched, just as Craig's clothes were screaming to be removed.

"Do we have time," he groaned into Craig's mouth. He breathed deeply as Craig leant back and they linked eyes, noticing the lust that had made itself present in his boyfriends eyes and knowing it must have reflected in his.

Craig smirked in his knowing, sexy way and sucked on Stan's neck again. He wound his hands down to the hem of Stan's t-shirt and twisted it in his fingers, allowing them to brush over Stan's navel. He muttered his next words into Stan's neck, the slight ticklish sensation merging with shivers of pleasure. The combination of his actions was to make Stan as flustered and desperate as possible and there was no denying that it worked.

"Oh, definitely."

Stan groaned and ran his hands down Craig's back, pulling at the material of his t-shirt and tugging to free him from it. Craig raised his arms and allowed Stan to throw it to the floor. Stan's hands, finally able to touch Craig's bare skin, ran urgently across his shoulder blades. The skin was warm and soft and perfect. He leant forward to kiss the front of Craig's shoulder, followed by running his lips down his chest. He was only stopped momentarily when Craig pulled his t-shirt off to join the other one on the floor.

Stan groaned again when he felt Craig's hands trail down his back and reach down below his waist band. He jerked forward into Craig, pushing their crotches together. Craig must have decided that he was ready to take it further because he grabbed Stan's shoulders and forcefully shoved him down. Stan's head hit the pillow and he blushed, clutching for Craig's waist and pulling their crotches more forcefully together.

Craig groaned, grinding on top of Stan. He was now staring into Stan's eyes with such an urgent look that Stan knew to deny him would be incredibly cruel. Luckily, Stan had no intention of denying Craig and pushed his hips up into Craig, groaning at the throbbing in his pants. He pulled Craig's head towards him again and caught his lips in barely more than a crash together, pulling on Craig's bottom lip with his teeth when he felt it between them.

"Stan." Craig groaned and panted. He forced the button on Stan's pants open and yanked them off, along with the boy's boxers.

"Mmmm." Stan reached with his arms to do the same for Craig, but Craig was already ahead of him, throwing the rest of his own clothes to the ground. He ran a hand down Stan's chest, down to his crotch and then back up before it connected with anything. Stan ran his own hands up Craig's slim chest and sighed in contentment.

Craig's soft lips made contact with Stan's muscular chest as he laid kisses. The kisses trailed across and then down, almost reaching Stan's crotch and then teasingly denying him. Craig swirled his tongue around one of Stan's nipples, proceeded by taking it between his teeth and biting lightly. Stan groaned loudly.

"Oh God, Craig!" Craig smiled and did the same with the other one, savouring Stan's sounds.

When he'd done with kissing and licking Stan's chest, he leant over to his bedside draw and removed a bottle of lube, holding it in his hand with a grin. Stan grinned back, letting his hands drop from Craig's shoulders and fall to his sides. Craig backed slightly and ran a hand down Stan's thigh. He popped the bottle open and squirted some of the cold liquid to one of his hands, recapping the bottle and throwing it next to him. He coated his fingers and brought them to Stan's entrance.

"I can't believe how much I've missed this," muttered Craig, pushing one of his fingers slowly inside. Stan gasped at the coldness and laughed.

"It's only been a day," he replied, groaning slightly as the finger moved in and out. Craig added another finger and, with his other hand, took hold of Stan's member, stroking along the side slowly. Stan gasped and closed his eyes, only then realising how extremely hard and desperate he was. Craig ran his thumb over the slit, wiping some of the pre-cum. He pumped Stan a few times as his fingers continued stretching him.

"A day's too long."

Stan groaned and agreed. "F-far too long!"

Craig pulled out his fingers and stroked his hand gently down Stan's thigh. He applied some more lube to his own member and then smiled at Stan.

"You ready?"

"Yes!" replied Stan eagerly. He closed his eyes and held Craig's shoulders again. "Oh, God, yes."

Craig positioned himself in front of Stan's entrance and held the Jock's legs either side of him. He pushed in slowly, stopping half-way in response to Stan's slightly pained gasps. With reassurance from his boyfriend that he was fine, Craig pushed the rest of the way inside. Stan groaned and his grip on Craig's shoulders increased, digging with his nails a little. He felt Craig's lips press onto his own and kissed back hungrily. When Craig removed his lips and ran them up Stan's jaw, he began thrusting.

"Oh, God, C-Craig!" called Stan fervently. "More of that!"

Craig groaned loudly at Stan's words and took up a slow, steady pace, wanting Stan to feel every inch of his movement. He fully pulled out a couple of times, and re-entered with slightly more force than the previous. Along with his slow movements, he continued kissing Stan's jaw, never wanting to leave the taste of the skin. As Stan's groans got louder and more desperate, Craig felt a rough yank on his hair, signalling another heated kiss.

Stan's kiss was bruising and frenzied. Sweat beaded on his forehead and there was a new desperation in his voice.

"Harder," he groaned, clawing at Craig's back.

"I don't want to hurt you." Craig's reply.

Stan pulled Craig into another passionate kiss. "You won't." He arched his hips up and back into Craig, groaning. "I can take it." Craig stared at the hunger in Stan's half-open eyes and felt himself involuntarily jerk harder. Stan gasped and closed his eyes in bliss. "Yes!"

Craig pulled himself up and grabbed hold of Stan's hips tighter. His body's urges took over and his thrusts became harder. He closed his eyes and groaned loudly in response to Stan. The banging of the headboard joined in with their almost constant noises when Craig found a position which allowed for maximum pounding. His hands were sweating and his grip on Stan's hips ever-increasing. He knew that any harder and he'd leave bruises, but he knew that Stan didn't care. The Jock was in the process of digging his nails harshly into Craig's back.

A sudden loud scream from Stan indicated that Craig had found his prostate. The scream sent a harsh shock down his spine, mirroring how Stan must have felt. He blindly hit it again and crashed his lips into Stan's, barely more than frantically panting into the boy's mouth and biting anywhere he could find. He felt Stan trying, but struggling to kiss back as his body started to shake.

Craig grabbed Stan's member in his hand - pushing Stan further against the headboard so he didn't lose the force of his thrusts - and started pumping again, matching his other pace. He felt Stan's legs kicking beside him and a harsh, but pleasurable tug on his hair. Stan's panted as he spoke, his words barely legible from the surrounding groaning.

"F-Fuck, C-Craig, I-I'm... Mmnn, going t-t-" He gasped as Craig rammed into his prostrate with an almost unbearable hardness. But it wasn't unbearable, it was euphoric and Stan came with a choked groan over his stomach and Craig's hand. Craig risked a few more thrusts and then pulled out, also coming over Stan's stomach. He held himself up for a few fleeting seconds and then his arms collapsed and he fell on top. Stan pulled on his hair for one final heated kiss, that turned soft in the process.

Craig rolled onto his back and panted, closing his eyes. He was sweaty and he was overheating but he was so fucking happy. He reached over to his bedside again and grabbed some tissues, wiping his hand, Stan's stomach and then his own stomach from where it had transferred. When he had finished, he threw the tissue to the floor and pulled Stan onto his chest.

Lying together in the afterglow for as long as they could, they eventually head Clyde re-enter the house. Murmuring voices downstairs signified that he must have brought Kenny. Stan looked at Craig in panic but Craig just smirked and pulled the covers over them. Clyde threw the door open.

"Come on, guys, we're-" He trailed out when he saw the clothes and various other evidence (tissues and lube) on the floor, along with Stan's blushing and Craig's smirking faces. He blushed himself. "Oh..."

Kenny peeked his head around the door and grinned. "Dammit, we missed it."

"We'll... wait outside. Hurry up." Clyde backed out of the door. Kenny laughed and winked at Craig.

"I missed the matinée but will there be an evening performance?"

Craig raised his eyebrow at Kenny. "It will be a private showing."

Kenny pouted. "Pity." He grinned perversely at Stan and then backed out of the door as well, to join Clyde in his slightly shell-shocked but happy state.

Clyde grinned and started on his fourth taco, looking down at his pants and nodding at them, as if telling them they were doing a good job of dealing with the bloat that was bound to come, and thanking them for having such an essential adjustable waist-band. Craig shook his head and sighed.

"You should be fat like you were when we were younger."

"I wasn't fat!" Clyde took another bite of his taco.

"You were big-boned?" asked Kenny, snickering. "Just like Cartman wasn't fat."

"I wasn't anything!"

Craig ignored this. "It must be the amount of exercise you do now. Nothing else can explain it. You eat way too much."

Clyde chose not to reply to their words and instead he polished off his fourth taco. He noticed that Kenny had already eaten more than him and Stan was certainly making good progress. God, why did people always think he had a taco obsession? Just because he had special taco eating pants... And yes, he may have a t-shirt that told the world he hearted tacos. And he may have had another one with a picture of a taco on... it's not like he wore them all the time. Kevin had taken to wearing one actually, in bed. He said he liked the smell. Clyde liked the emotion that now clung to the t-shirt, like romantic and comforting love all wrapped up into something he could cuddle tight and try not to eat in the night.

Kevin never really appreciated it when he woke up with drool all over him.

Clyde argued that he had to stop being so appetizing. It didn't help that he'd been having a reoccurring dream about taco flavoured ice-cream. He was desperate to try it - if there was such a thing - but the idea also disgusted him a little bit.

Whatever the point was...

Oh, maybe he was obsessed with tacos.

Well damn.

Clyde shrugged and started on his fifth, listening to Kenny's latest girl-catching plan in amusement. He watched how Craig casually slung his arm over Stan's shoulder, and how Stan seemed to glow as he blushed from this action. They were a good-looking couple. And if Stan could convince Craig not to wear his hat, well then that was true love. Clyde wondered if Kevin could convince him to give up tacos. He visually shuddered at this horrific question and laughed at Craig's bewildered face, pushing it far from his mind.

Yes, he probably could though.

"Kevin, do you think I could ever convince you to give up Star Wars?" Clyde asked the question casually that night. He'd straight away returned the favour and had Kevin for dinner, Susan making chicken pie. As she had done so, she'd smirked at Clyde and proclaimed that everyone hated chickens, much to Megan's delight. God, chickens had become a running gag in his house. Kevin looked up from a newly purchased book of his and tilted his head.

"Why, is it one of your goals?"

"Not really."

"And you want to know it for what reason?"

Clyde shrugged. "No reason." Kevin smirked and pulled Clyde towards him, stroking his hair. Clyde sighed and settled against Kevin's chest happily.

"Is this a 'me or Star Wars' thing?" asked Kevin, amusement clear in his voice. "Because the answer should be obvious."

Clyde smiled. "It should?"

"Yeah," continued Kevin. "Star Wars is obviously better." He laughed down at Clyde's shocked face. "Joking!" He traced his fingers over Clyde's chest. "I'd throw all my merchandise out and erase the films from every device."

"That makes me very happy."

"...You're not going to make me are you?"

"Never!"

"Good, because that would be like asking you to give up basketball... or tacos."

"But I would do that!" said Clyde quickly. "I totally would."

Kevin hugged Clyde tightly and laughed again. "Good to know." He kissed the back of Clyde's hair. "You're so weird." Clyde turned around and gave him a cheeky smile, then pushed him down on the bed and kissed him softly. Kevin sighed contentedly and rested his hands on Clyde's back. After a few minutes, Clyde removed his lips and rested his head on Kevin's chest, tangling his fingers in the fabric of what Kevin was wearing.

"My t-shirt smells like you now," he muttered, yawning. "It'sperfect." Kevin stroked Clyde's back and laughed lightly. "Sing me that song," continued Clyde, half-asleep. "You know... that maths equation that you sing. It always... sends me off."

"That's because you find it so boring," whispered Kevin, closing his eyes and yawning as well.

"Exactly."

"Mmmm." Kevin smiled and hugged Clyde closer. "Okay, I'll sing, if you promise not to drool on me tonight."

"...No deal." Clyde closed his eyes and smiled into Kevin's chest instead. "I'll just think of you... sitting in a taco shell instead and... Hey, did I tell you aboutmydream? Taco fla-" Clyde fell asleep mid-sentence and his mindless mutterings were replaced by a light snoring, which soon soothed Kevin into joining him.