44: Reunion.
I knew it would take me a couple days to get to the place Riley had marked on the map, but I didn't mind all that much. The more that I thought about it the less of a rush I was in. I had been so focused on getting better, and getting back to the group that I hadn't thought about what they'd think. How they'd react to seeing me. Even Carl wasn't expecting to see me so soon; maybe they'd understand. Maybe they'll want me back. "Don't worry about stuff that hasn't happened yet," I repeated the words. Don't worry. If you feel like worrying be proactive instead. The first day I traded in my bloody mess of a car for a Suburban. Less blood, more space, win win. Then I scavenged. I filled the thing up with supplies and as many tanks of gasoline as I could squeeze into the thing. It had something to do with wanting to remain valuable. I couldn't go see the group empty-handed. I couldn't even go to them toting a few dozen guns. I needed a dowry, a decent sized bargaining chip. I needed to make up for not being there for them for the past few months.
Whenever the nerves became too much I'd just roll the window down and let the fresh air in. I could smell the asphalt and the pines and the squirrels in the trees, and the hunger stayed away. Now that the hunger had gone I was left with a hyper-awareness. Every smell, every movement, I noticed them all. It made me feel strong again. It left me with a shadow of happiness, and for those days that was enough to get me through for the most part. Between my looting and massacring I'd take a few minutes to read Riley's book. The scribbles kept me from feeling alone, or it lessened it in such a way that being alone didn't hurt all that much.
On the third day I reached the place marked on the map. It was little more than a gas-n-sip and at first I thought I wasn't in the right place. Then I looked closer. Certain supplies were gone. The whole candy section had been raided, and all that remained of the liquor and food were he crappiest things. I jumped behind the counter and stuffed the remaining cigarette packs, cartons, and lighters into my duffle as I had been doing for the last few stops. Then I saw it. Small enough to go unnoticed by anyone else who came by, there was a notepad on the counter that read, 'Annie North –C.' Must've been Carl, smart Carl. I tore the paper out and went back to the car. North.
Then something occurred to me. If I saw anyone barreling down the road in a big black SUV there's only one thing I'd do. Shoot. I stopped on a dirt road to give me a bit of cover, then I pulled out a can of spray paint. 'ANNIE.' I looked at it for a second, wondering if it would be enough. Nodding a few times, I got into the car and kept on my way.
I didn't know what I was looking for as I drove. I just drove north. I just drove north and tried to think like Rick. "Someplace safe," I repeated as I scanned the sides of the highway. "Someplace to raise a family," then I saw it.
Grant County Prison: 40 miles.
Walls and fences and gates and beds. Easily defendable due to the watchtowers. That would be where they went. I pulled to the side of the road and pulled the sledgehammer from the back. After a minute of plugging away I took down the sign. Anyone who was travelling down the road would've thought the same. Could be a good place to lay roots. Could be a place to stay safe. From what I'd learned about people, how they'd changed when the world ended, how cruel they became, it was best that no one else ventured to that prison.
Each sign I came across I'd take the hammer to. And even when I reached the turnoff I kept going. I kept going until the signs stopped listing the prison. Then I knocked them all down. Even if they didn't let me stay I'd feel better knowing they were off the grid. When I came back to the turnoff I pulled over and took the cigarette break I so desperately needed. The tobacco was sweet in my lungs and just as soon as I'd started I was flicking the butt out of the window. Don't worry. They'll be happy to see you. I looked over myself. The dress I'd nabbed was still clean. I was still clean. I reached into the glove box and pulled out my makeup case, taking a long time as I applied, and wiped off, only to reapply it all once more. I knew I was stalling. I knew that feeling in my stomach, right in the pit of it, genuine anxiety. I kept fussing. I kept fussing until I caught a glimpse of the scarf.
"Annie, stop being a bitch about it and grow a pair already," I mimicked Riley's voice before turning the key and starting down the road. It only took a few minutes, but I found myself easing off the gas and darting my eyes to the bite wound. It'd healed, but it was still obvious what happened. They'd all seen my arms before; they'd all know that it had happened since they left. I rolled down the window and there was no mistaking I was on the right track. I could smell them as clear as day, but not just them. There were critters in the forest surrounding the road, there was still that scent of morning in the air, though it was fading fast in the afternoon sun. Don't worry, Annie. If Riley didn't kill you they sure as hell won't.
When I reached the gates the car crawled to a halt. I couldn't see anyone, but I knew they were there. I could smell them distinctly in the air. I stepped out of the car with my hands to the sky, "Hello?" There was no answer. I'd been right to worry; they didn't want to see me. Whatever friendships I had made back at the safe house would stay there. Or more likely the friendships I had made back at the safe house were just in my head. I looked around at the groups of walkers lining the fence and pulled out my knives. Stab, stab, stab. Plop, plop, plop. I went through them all with ease, knowing they wouldn't fight back, knowing they wouldn't even know I was there. Once I'd finished the last of them I reached into the car and debated just driving away. They don't want me? Fine, I don't want them. I even sat in the drivers seat with my fingers around the ignition. I couldn't do it though. I turned to look at the haul; I gathered all of this crap for them. I didn't really need it, I didn't need any of it. What was I going to do with a bunch of baby formula? I threw the scarf and book into my go bag and slid out, throwing it onto my shoulders before walking up to the fence, "There are supplies in the car, formula and gas and stuff," I yelled to the empty fields, "I'm just going to clear the deadies around the perimeter, then I'll be out of your hair." I stood still for a moment, wondering what else I could say. They were close, had to have all been outside, listening to me ramble on. They could all hear me, or at least a few of them could. What do you say to people who don't want you? Thanks? Fuck you? I hope you all die? I didn't hope that though. I wanted them to be okay, even if that was without me, "Stay safe!"
I'd only taken a few steps when I heard a quieted voice from inside the fencing, "No." I looked to see a small boy appear from behind a wall, the sheriff's hat he worn flew off as he ran through the field. Of course it was Carl. It would have to be Carl. Carl was the only one who wanted me there, and that would be enough. "Annie! Wait!" he yelled as he opened the first gate. It was weird to smell him, I squirmed with my discomfort but the hunger stayed away. "Don't leave!" I calmly walked back to the main gate as the others slowly piled out of their hiding places. There were a few faces missing, but I guess they couldn't all be outside. I wished T-Dog and Lori were out here to see me. She'd probably be with the baby now. The closer he got the more my face relaxed. He was alright. He was safe. By the time he'd reached me I was smiling so wide, I couldn't control it.
He fumbled with the last lock, "Hey, buddy."
"Did you get my note? Telling you to go North?" I nodded as I examined him. "I knew I'd have to hide it, I was worried you would miss it," he didn't look the same as before. Something about the way he stood, the way his eyes looked at me, I knew he wasn't the same kid that left a few months ago. When the gate slid open it took milliseconds before he hugged me. I didn't flinch at the contact. My stomach didn't turn, my mouth didn't water, I just wrapped my arms around his little frame and smiled. My eyes started to sting, but I forced away the tears. Don't show them how much you care.
"How'd you find us?" I looked up to see Rick now standing at the fence, most of the group behind him and three new faces. When my eyes caught Daryl he didn't look happy. He looked inconvenienced, he looked angry. He looked like a different person. None of them looked even slightly glad to see me except maybe Maggie, Glen, and Beth.
Carl's arms squeezed tighter, and I looked down and chuckled to myself, "I just have a nose for these things, I guess." There was a concerned look on everyone's face except for the kid in my arms, "But if I hadn't been looking for you, I wouldn't have found you." I patted Carl on the back, "I took the liberty to knock down a few signs that said there was a prison here. Figured it would be safer if no one knew this place was here."
"Better get you inside before the walkers notice what's happening," Rick motioned for one of the new men to get the car.
"You'll like it here, Annie," Carl grabbed my hand and began to lead me through the gates. I didn't even make it two steps before someone noticed my arm.
"Carl, get away from her," Daryl's words were stern as he raised his crossbow and pointed it at my head. "She's been bit."
Rick grabbed Carl away from me in a flash, and the guns were pulled. I raised my hands, showing that I wasn't a threat, but the weapons still trained on me. The new woman with the sword moved closer to me, looking closely at my arm, "It's healed." The confusion spread over their faces, and I knew it was my only chance to tell them.
"I got bit about a week after you all left, horde came and overran the house. Blind spot, and this happened. I thought I was a goner, but I didn't turn," I couldn't decipher their gazes. "I must be immune or something," I lied. They didn't need to know about my hunger. They didn't need to know about what I went through. It would just give them another reason to not want me there.
"See Dad, she's fine," Carl stood beside me again.
"You're immune?" Rick lowered his gun slightly.
"Obviously or I wouldn't be here, would I?" I looked around as the tension lessened.
"Let's get inside, the walkers are noticing us," Glen went and motioned for the car to be brought in.
-o0o-
As Carl had led me through the snaking hallways I could barely stand the way the rest of their eyes followed me. Even when Riley studied me she'd at least be decent about it. She never made me feel like a freak. I'd hoped they'd stopped once we reached the cellblock they'd been calling home, but they didn't. They kept watching and I kept pretending not to notice as Carl showed me around.
"And this is my baby sister, Judith!" Carol emerged from a cell holding a small bundle of blankets, "Carol, show Annie my sister!" I was surprised when Carol calmly stood beside me, allowing me to look at the baby.
It made me uncomfortable, seeing the little thing, so clean and new in such a horrible place. It smelled good, but I didn't feel like having infant for dinner. She was just fresh, new to the world, new to everything. It was all so strange. But then those little eyes looked up at me and I was sold, "She's beautiful." I carefully reached my finger over as the eyes watched on. Judith immediately latched onto it and gave a giggle.
"She likes you," Carol's voice was soft, soon the others will tell her about the bite and that softness will go.
I turned back to Carl. I wanted to see someone else who might still like me, "Alright, now when can I congratulate your mama." The look on his face said it all. There had been a reason Lori hadn't greeted me at the gate. My voice weakened when I put two and two together, "T-Dog?" He looked at his feet as he shook his head, "When?"
"A month ago," Rick picked up, "There were walkers everywhere, couldn't contain them." I couldn't keep the guilt from entering my heart. I should have been here. I should have protected them. If I hadn't become a monster I'd have been here, and they'd all be alive. "Here, I'll show you where you can sleep."
He led me up the stairs and into the cell in the farthest corner of the block and left me there. I couldn't tell why. Maybe it was to give me space, or to keep the others safe. Whatever the reason for keeping me tucked away in the corner I didn't mind. It was better that I was away from them. It was better that I had air. It was better to not have to see the faces of the people who would've let me brave this world on my own. I set my things down on the top bunk, rummaged through to find Riley's scarf and book, and sat on the bed below. I wrapped the fabric around my hand and turned to the page I was on. I wish she'd have come with me. I wish she were here right now. She would say something, something that made this feeling go away. Or she'd look at me and then I'd know.
I clutched the scarf as I read the day away, reminding myself that I proved my worth already. If I could just remember that, then they couldn't touch me.
So Annie finally makes it to the gang, or at least what's left of them. Not the warm welcome she'd hoped for to say the least. Now that the initial shock has passed, how do you think the group will adjust to her being back in their lives? Also, do you think the new members (Axel, Oscar, and Michonne) will like Annie? Review with your answers, because I'd love to hear your thoughts! And a big thank you thank you for reading. :)