46: Truths Revealed

Rick and Daryl met us at the gate a few hours before sundown. For a second I thought they were both smiling when they saw us, but when I looked again Daryl had a scowl on his face. We must have been a sight to see then. Michonne walking in front of me a ways, loping off the heads of all the walkers nearby, and me, still in my nice dress, lugging a 190-pound deer on my shoulders.

"I don't know about you two," I smiled at the men from beneath the carcass, "But this has got to be the biggest damn squirrel I've ever seen." Rick's smile coupled with Daryl's look of utter displeasure were perfect. I took a few steps forward before Rick helped me, "I saw a table up there, hopefully I can get it butchered before I lose the light." I looked to Michonne, "I'll need some water to clean it," she nodded and headed off into the prison.

"I'll be in the tower," Daryl huffed off.

I couldn't keep from smiling. With how he had treated me since I'd arrived I wanted to make him angry. I wanted to not be the only one hurting. Once he was out of earshot, and we'd gotten up the field a bit Rick spoke, "Didn't have to rub it in, you know?"

I smirked at him for a second, "I couldn't resist."

"Guess he taught you well though."

"Oh, this one was all me," I adjusted the body slightly, "I picked up a few things on my own while I was out there," we didn't speak again until we dropped the body on the table.

"Is that what you've been doing since we left? Hunting?" I didn't want to lie to him, I couldn't. So I just smiled back and pulled my knife to start skinning the thing. Once Michonne joined me Rick took his leave.

-o0o-

During dinner, when everyone was chowing down on my kill of the day I sat with Judith to keep anyone from asking questions. I wasn't going to partake in that meal, and that would confuse them. I'd never tell them why meat was no longer on my menu. Instead I just sat next to Carl and played with the baby. Michonne was forced to recount how the hunt went without my help, and during the whole story I watched as Daryl squirmed and stabbed irately at his helping of food. It must really irk him knowing that now I'm a better hunter than he ever could be. The student becomes the master. Didn't he know that was how the world worked? Eventually he left to go outside. I was glad he was mad, and his childish way of handling it just made it sweeter. I was mad at him. I was irritated that he'd forgotten me, or that things weren't real, but I didn't go throwing fits. I had told the guy I loved him, and he didn't even miss me. He didn't even want me there now. He left no breadcrumbs for me to follow after I left the house, Carl had. That's who I would focus on. Carl. Carl and Judith. Them and Rick and Michonne. The only people who'd gone out of their way to be nice to me.

"Annie, do you think you can cover the second watch for me?" Rick looked over to me.

Judith's hand had found my mouth and she'd been grabbing my lips and laughing as she pulled at them for the last few minutes, "Sure. Time?"

"Head over there at 12:30."

"Will do," I looked down at the little face in my arms, "I'm going to go read to her a bit, that okay?"

"Can I come too?" Carl and I both looked to Rick for an answer.

"Of course," Carl jumped up and went to clean his plate. Rick patted the top of Judith's head, "You don't need to ask me anymore."

"You sure?"

He just nodded at me, and I went up to my cell. I picked up my only book, Riley's book, with my free hand and wondered if that was the right thing to be reading my little sister. Thankfully Carl brought up something else, "When I asked Michonne what you two were talking about yesterday, with the towels, she went to the library and got me this."

I looked at the cover, it was Hitchhiker's Guide, "You want me to read this to you guys?"

He nodded, "She said it was good."

"It is." I attempted to hold the book open in one hand, but I was struggling.

"I'll hold her," Carl took her from me.

"Well, let's start this thing." I scooted to the far corner of the bed to give Carl and Judith more space to relax, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, by Douglas Adams, For Jonny Brock and Clare Gorst. And all other Arlingtonians. For tea, sympathy, and a sofa. Far out in the uncharted backwaters…"

Occasionally Carl would ask me what a word meant, or make some comment on whatever zany event was happening at the time, or he'd laugh which would cause Judith to laugh, which would cause me to laugh. At some point I realized that I'd never actually read aloud to anyone, save for a few traumatic childhood classroom experiences. Reading to them, my non-biological, but still just as important siblings, was new. It was a new family activity. Out here, what felt like lifetimes after the death of my mother and father, eons after the death of Joey, I'd never expected to have something like this happen. Death and chaos were all around, even my soul seemed to be in constant battle with itself. But as I spoke in a hushed voice in my cell I knew otherwise. Together nothing could touch us.

"She asleep?" I looked at the pair and Carl nodded, "You better get to sleep, too. It's late." I looked down at my watch, it was already past eleven.

Carl carefully stood up, "Goodnight Annie."

"Goodnight," I smiled at the two as they disappeared into the walkway. I only had an hour and a half before I was to go on guard duty, and that isn't nearly long enough to take a nap. I couldn't just sit there though, I needed to be proactive. I stood up and started organizing my things. This was home now. I kept my go-bag still mainly in tact, but I'd gotten my secondary bags out of the car earlier that day. I laid the sleeping bag out on the mattress first, then I organized the emergency medical supplies. Then I hid my large duffle filled with cigarettes under my bed. Just little things to make the space look less like a prison cell and more like a depressing summer camp bunk. Things that made the thing my own. Once that was done I decided it was time to ditch the dress for a while. After all, I did carry a big dead deer a few miles that day, and then gutted it. I searched for my clothes, debating if I should go back to the fully-covered wannabe-commando look I'd adopted with Riley. Then I saw them, my comfy clothes. I'd been uncomfortably stuck in this thing for almost a week, and before that I'd been covered in blood and flesh. It's safe to say I needed some Goddamn comfort. I changed into the yoga shorts, sports bra, and loose fitting t-shirt. I even put on a fresh pair of socks, and I swear it felt like heaven. These were the sorts of moments that always felt good. These were the sorts of moments that made my life bearable.

I threw a few things in my smallest bag to take up there. Book, cigarettes, ammo, a can of whatever slop I'd chosen to eat for dinner earlier then looked at my watch again, 12:20. "Might as well just get out there," I pulled on my hunting knife, tucked in my towel, and slung my rifle over my shoulder. I slid on my boots and started outside.

"I'm sorry," Carol's small form bumped into me just as I exited the main building, "Oh, Annie, it's you."

"The one and only," I smiled at her as I breathed in the fresh air. "Beautiful night, isn't it?" I tried to be nice, be friendly. That's what people are supposed to do when they live together, right? Talk about the weather, and other stupid stuff?

"Yeah," her voice was unsure at first, then suddenly it changed as she continued, "Rick won't say anything, neither will anyone else, but someone's got to." There was a tinge of hostility there, "You need to stay away from that baby, it's just not safe to have you around her. Lori would have wanted her safe."

I could only hope that the lack of light hid the look on my face. I wore a combination of oh-no-she-didn't and fuck-off-before-I-punch-your-face-in, and anyone in their right mind would have run from me if they saw it. She must not have caught it though, because she stayed put. I forced a smile, thinking to myself WWRD. What would Riley do? She'd probably just shoot her and go on her way. But I couldn't do that, no matter how much I wanted to. I wanted to strangle her for her accusation. I wanted to take my knife and plunge it into her face for bringing Lori into it. Instead I just smiled and forced an airy tone, "I'll be sure to keep that in mind."

"Good," she took a step towards the door. There was a pull in my stomach, and I knew I couldn't just leave it. Not after she mentioned Lori.

"Hey Carol, who is the third grave for?" I motioned to the area where the three graves stood. I'd already asked Michonne about it that day. I knew it was for her, but I wanted to hear her say it. She didn't though. She just looked at me with a frown that attempted to hide her guilt. I shrugged, "I've killed over a thousand walkers on my own. I made it out there alone for months. I fought it all to get back to those kids and no one ever dug a grave for me," I raised my eyebrows, smile still strong, "Looks like she'd be pretty fucking safe with me around, and if anyone is to tell me otherwise it'll be Rick or Carl." I didn't look at her as I took a few steps towards the guard tower, "You have a nice night now."

I felt a mix of pride and anger as I made my way across the field. Even if the hunger came back I wouldn't misplace a single hair on that child's head. She was my sister just as much as Carl was my brother. Whatever opposing force the world decided to through our way they would be safe. They had nothing to fear anymore because they were under my protection. How dare she think I am unsafe? I put myself through hell to get to a place where I was harmless to be around. Besides, she's the one who can't protect herself. I put her right in her place though. I pushed it from my mind as I looked up at the sky, looking for any familiar constellations. Orion was hanging just above me, and a cold wind blew across the yard. It was nice to be outside, out of the cage. No one was outside, so there were only faint smells in the air. As I looked up I felt so small and insignificant; I needed this. I'd have to tell Rick to put me on more of these night watches; it's not like I sleep all that much anyway. I started up the steps; I loved the way my feet sounded as they climbed up. It was all quiet expect for the soft thuds of my feet.

When I entered the small room Daryl was sitting in one of the seats. He didn't look over to me, so I didn't say a word. Why talk to someone who doesn't want you there? I set my things down, pulled out my book and pack of cigarettes, and sat in an empty chair.

"Since when do you smoke cigarettes?" his voice was still different than how I'd remembered it. It was almost as if he was accusing me of something.

I just shrugged at him and lit the end of it, before holding the pack to him. My version of a peace offering. He accepted with hesitation and I lit it for him. Truth was I wanted to ask him why he'd changed. I wanted to ask him if whatever had happened between us was all in my head, and I had been completely insane for saying 'I love you.' The courage just wasn't there, though. So I settled on something simpler, "I didn't die." He stood up and headed for the door. Seriously? Not even a word? "That's what you told me to do, isn't it?" I spit out when he opened the door. He didn't pause. He just kept on walking. I took another breath of the tobacco, and stared back up at the sky. There was no use in being upset about it anymore. He could act like nothing had ever happened. He could forget that he'd told me to stay alive. He could act like a petulant child about my being back. Had I really expected anything different? Was this not exactly how I could've predicted? A few sour apples shouldn't spoil a whole fruit basket.

My time in the tower went faster than I would have hoped, but I was able to both finish and restart my book, eat dinner, get angry, relax, get angry once more, rationalize, re-rationalize, decide to fix things with Daryl, change my mind on the subject, and do a few sun salutations.

When the sun came up Glenn appeared in the doorway, "Hey Annie, shift change."

I nodded and gathered my things as he took a seat. I tried to study how he was looking at me, but I was too tired to read him. I figured it wouldn't hurt just to be straightforward, "Can I ask you something, Glenn?"

"Sure," he perked up and turned to me.

"Does you all think I'm dangerous?"

"What? No." He leaned out of his chair a bit.

"You can tell me, I won't be mad."

He shook his head, "I think it's just hard to see you with everything that happened."

"Are you sure? Because Carol said something—"

"She said something to you?"

"She told me to stay away from Judith because I'm not safe." I saw his eyes dart to the wound on my arm, "I'm safe. If I wasn't I wouldn't have come here. I wouldn't have risked it with you guys."

"We know that." I took a moment to examine him, try to figure out if he was lying or not. From what I could see, he was telling the truth.

"Then you should all try to not look so scared of me," I smiled and put my hand on the doorknob.

"What did you say to her when she said this to you?"

I turned back to him, "A few things."

"Like what?"

"Told her I'd killed over a thousand of those things by myself, survived out there on my own. That I'd done it all to get back to those kids and keep them safe." He nodded and I pulled the door open, "And I asked her who that third grave was for."

"Did she tell you?"

I shook my head, "But I know it's hers."

I took a step through the threshold before he spoke again, "It was a miracle that Daryl found her." I paused then, unable to move my feet for a second. It clicked then, why Carol had been outside last night, why Daryl didn't want me around. "I'm sorry," Glen got up from his chair and it looked like he was coming over to comfort me. "I thought you—"

I stopped him with a grin, "Don't be sorry, it's fine."

"I know you and Daryl were—"

I held up my hand, "Nothing to be sorry about, seriously. But I do have to go try to get some sleep, so I'll see ya." I didn't wait for his response; I just jogged down the stairs and didn't stop until I was inside the building. As I weaved through the hallways my eyes got heavier and heavier. I just wanted to sleep. I just wanted to have a few hours of nothing.

I wasn't so lucky though.

As soon as I entered the cellblock Rick motioned me over. I jogged over, noting the strained look on his face, "Annie, did you say something to Carol last night?"

"Yes," I looked at him with a straight face, "after she said a few things to me."

That second part was obviously news to him, "What did she say to you?"

I looked around. Hershel, Beth, Carl and Judith were nearby; Michonne, Axel, and Oscar were too close for comfort as well. "Let's talk in my cell."

He nodded and followed my up the stairs. Once we got to my cell he repeated, "What did she say to you?"

"I was heading to the tower for guard duty, ran into her. Tried to be friendly by saying it was a nice night. And then out of the blue she says, 'Rick won't say anything, neither will anyone else, but someone's got to. You need to stay away from that baby, it's just not safe to have you around her. Lori would have wanted her safe.' Her words, not mine."

I could see the rage in his eyes when I said Lori's name. It was the same look I'd gotten. "She said you threatened her?"

I shook my head, "I just asked her who the other grave was for. She deserved more than that for saying what she did."

There was a small smile on his face, a hint of pride that relaxed my shoulders, "I know Judith is safe with you." He stepped out of my cell, "If she says anything else tell me."

"Will do, Rick."

When he left I flopped down on the bed and curled up. The day had been long, too long. I needed a chance to shut down, just for a while. I pulled the sleeping bag over my head and was out in seconds.

Bam, new chapter delivered! Thank you for reading it, and reading this little story of mine. :) I hope you enjoyed this installment. Also, thank you to everyone who's been reviewing, it helps a ton to hear what you guys think about everything.

Review Question Time: What do you think Carol's problem is? And how did Annie handle herself when she confronted her? Why's Daryl oh so mean to her? Finally, what do you think will happen in the coming chapters? :) Review or PM me with your answers! Can't wait to hear your thoughts.