Hello! First things first, I must address a review!

Meh (guest): I totally agree with you, my last chapter was verging on *fart noise. It was funny, because I had already written a rough version of this next chapter before you posted the review, and I had started to address the Rick situation (great minds think alike!). And there is a reason I'm dragging out the time in between Judith's birth and Woodbury. I had stayed pretty on par with the timeline thus far, but I needed just a bit of wiggle room to get through to the mid-season premiere (I have to see what happens first before I can continue with my plans). I'm sorry if it totally ruins the story, but it needed to be done. :/

And to all of you lovely lovely readers, ENJOY!

47: Annie, The Struggling Empath

I woke up smack dab in the middle of the afternoon. I had my brief moment of bliss; I had my brief moment where I was just waking up in my apartment and life was still intact. I wasn't so let down when I opened my eyes though, not like before. Life was still something, I still had a family and that was something. I mean, Id thought my days of family were over that day when I left my childhood home. I thought that I would never again feel that connection. I thought that with their deaths so died my chances of ever feeling complete. But this afternoon I felt that I had something again. When I flung my feet off the bed I laughed a bit. I'd been so tired that I didn't take off my shoes. I hadn't even taken off my sheath. Understandably so, too. I came all this way and what was I faced with? Bullshit. High school 'he said she said.' At least there was some good to it all. I stood up and stretched with a groan before stepping out into the walkway and leaning on the railing.

"Annie!" Carl waved up at me. I thought I saw sadness in his face but when I'd blinked it was gone. I waved back before staring out the windows. I wanted to be out of here. I wanted to feel the sun on my skin again.

"Are we going hunting again today?" Michonne stepped out from her cell.

I shrugged, "Best wait until you all finish off the deer." I could see a slight disappointment in her face, the same disappointment I felt. She wanted out of the cage too. She wanted fresh air, just like me. "We can always just go out and get rid of a few walkers?"

"I'll get my sword," she stepped back into her cell as I went into mine. The hunting knife would work fine, but I wanted to mix it up. Getting too comfortable with any one weapon was a sin. Now I needed to stay sharp, stay lethal. I went through one of my bags and pulled out the pair of kukris I'd nabbed a while back, still in their shoulder holster. I slid it on, and turned to find Maggie standing in my doorway.

"Need any clothes washed?"

I nodded, "Just the dress, those socks, and this towel." I tossed the towel to her and she caught it with a smile.

"Not that scarf?" she nodded to Riley's bloody scarf.

I shook my head as I pulled a new towel out of a bag and tucked it into its spot on my leg, "No, not the scarf." I'll never wash that scarf. I will never do anything to that scarf but smell it every once in a while. Every time I put it to my nose and didn't salivate was a battle won. That scarf was constant proof that I was human. I was human and I was going to stay that way.

"Should have them back to you tomorrow," she gathered the small pile.

"Thank you for doing that, it'll be nice to not stink."

"It's nothing after that deer you caught," she smiled at me, "Venison's my favorite." She exited the room just before me.

"You ready?" Michonne was waiting for me, leaning against her cell door.

I gave her a thumb up, "Just got to check on the kids and check with Rick."

-o0o-

"Something up?" she wiped her blade on a newly re-deadened zombie.

"No," I lied, "Why?"

"Don't seem as focused today."

Crap. Just what I didn't want. Michonne was a different breed than the rest of them, she valued strength, not vulnerability. "I don't want to bother you with my problems," I walked on, "They aren't important."

"Won't bother me none." I stared at her for a second, and decided she was being truthful.

"Alright. It might be nice to say it out loud, I guess." I rotated the blade in my hand and avoided her gaze, "I'm still in love with Daryl."

"That redneck that's been giving you those dirty looks?"

"The very same," with a grunt I took out a one-armed walker nearby. "I mean, he knew I would come here eventually. Obviously didn't actually expect me to make it here alive." I wiped the guts off onto the decaying clothes, "But the thing that really pisses me off about the thing is that he told me not to die. Said it clear as day, 'Don't die.' He told me not to, but he really thought I would? Who does that?"

She said, hunched over her current victim, "A damn fool."

"Exactly," I continued walking.

She changed the subject, "That Rick hasn't been doing too well."

I looked over to her, "His wife did just die." I thought about it for a second. I hadn't even considered that it must have been hard on him; he must still be in that hell I only faintly remembered now. "I guess it's just gotten hard for me to empathize with," she looked over to me, "My family has been dead for such a long time, there came a time when I had to just face the facts. I think it was when I got bit that it all really clicked. Death comes for everyone, came for me, will even come for these bastards," I motioned to the walker on the ground, "That's just life, the rules of the universe. I guess I should try not to be so cold about it, but that is just the way I see things now. I forgot that other people, like Rick, still feel it." I cut down another walker, "He still has people to lose, I can see how it would be hard for him."

"I don't think he'd slept since it happened until last night," her voice was calm then. In these woods where the undead hissed at each other Michonne was the steadying force.

"Oh," I remembered him looking thankful when I'd agreed to take his shift last night. Maybe he got some sleep? He did look a bit more rested when he spoke to me in the morning. "I'll pick up his shifts from now on," she hacked into another corpse. "You think you can keep an eye on him?"

"Why me?" she yanked the blade out.

I stabbed into a walker of my own, "I've seen how you watch everything. You'll know if something's up."

"I'll keep an eye on him," she had a slight smile on her face when I looked back to her. "You didn't eat any of the meat."

"Nope," I tried to sound casual as my mind sped. Would she put two and two together? Please no.

"Vegetarian?"

I shrugged my shoulders, "Guess so."

"But you hunt?" she didn't sound horribly curious about it. Her question was primarily out of obligation, and I was thankful.

"I just can't eat meat, plain and simple."

"No one else noticed," she reassured me.

I slashed once more, "Let's hope it stays that way."

"What are you going to do about him?" I could tell she'd stopped walking.

"Who? Rick?"

"The redneck."

"Wasn't planning on doing anything." I stopped and turned around to face her, "Why? You have something in mind?"

"Rick's always running things by him," she sheathed her katana, "Probably make him mad if Rick started running things by you instead."

"How am I supposed to manage that?" I began to wipe my blades on the nearest body.

"Just keep doing what you're doing."

"Think so?" I stuck the kukris in their places.

"He should look to you anyway. You made it out there on your own, you know what you're doing." I took a few steps back the way we came, "You're the only one who got a smile out of him since, I mean, I didn't think he even could smile."

"Why are you helping me with this?"

"Someone's stupid enough to bet against girl Rambo shouldn't have any say in decisions that affect the safety of those people."

"You make a good point," I laughed with her. "He really hasn't smiled?"

"When I showed up, just before you," she nodded down to her leg, "He hit me on my wound, asked me a bunch of questions."

"How's that healing?" I could smell the old blood on her.

"Fine, fine." She caught up with me, "I lost my boyfriend at the start of all of this. Think the same as you, death's coming for everyone. But I still remember what he was like. Sometimes I pretend he's still around. I can't imagine what's going through his head now."

"Should I talk to him?" I tilted my head as I looked over to her.

"If you're careful about it."

I eyed the bodies that we passed and got an idea, "Maybe I should take him out here with me tomorrow, might be good to kill some deadies of his own? Some revenge."

"Be good just to get him out of that place for a while."

-o0o-

"Annie, sit here for a bit," Rick patted the seat beside him and I reluctantly sat down. He was sitting at a table with Glenn and Daryl, one of whom I had no desire to be around. "I wanted us to go through the prison. Just the basics, clear out the walkers, bring all the supplies to our building, that sort of thing." I nodded and took a bite from my plate as Judith slept on my shoulder, "I wanted to know what your thoughts were."

I saw Michonne smile from the corner of my eye, and couldn't help but do the same. This was part of her plan, and therefore a part of mine. "Best to take it one building at a time," I took another bite, "Go in, kill the deadies, then move the bodies out. Then we move the supplies over."

"How long would that take?"

"We can do one building a day, be really thorough about it, be done in a week."

"You two feel like killing some walkers?" Rick looked over to the two sitting with us.

I interjected as quickly as I could, "It's safer if I just do it."

"I'm not sending you into anything alone." There was a hint of concern in his voice that didn't go unnoticed by me.

"It'll take longer if I have to be looking after two people the whole time," I looked at him with a small smile, "Trust me on this."

"How about just one of them?" he persisted.

"What about you, pops? Would you want to be my backup?" I hoped he would. I hoped that he would say yes and I could keep an eye on him myself. Try to help him work through some of what he was feeling. He shook his head and took a violent bite into his food, "No worries. Either of you two good with a blade?"

"I've used the machete a few times," Glenn saved me. There was no way I'd want to look out for Daryl now. Not now that I knew he had no faith in me.

"Then you're my man." I scooped the last bite up and swallowed it down before looking back to Rick, "We'll need more than just the two of us to move everything though."

"We'll get a group together."

"When are we starting all this?"

"As soon as we can." I noticed something in him then, something I couldn't believe I hadn't caught before, the same thing Michonne had told me about. He was hurting. He was restless. I thought over the last two days. Had he been restless the whole time? Every time I saw him he was busy with something. Hauling something somewhere, killing the walkers at the fence, or organizing the supplies. Even now he was constantly moving. Slightly swaying back and forth, moving his food around on his plate. These were the signs of a broken man. How did I not notice this before? If I had just been here. If I had just made it here faster and saved Lori then he wouldn't have to feel like this. He could be happy. This, this man in front of me was my responsibility just as his children were. I needed to do something, but what? How could I help him?

I tried to just continue on with the conversation as my gears turned, "Day after tomorrow sound good?" He nodded.

"Annie," Carl stood beside me, "Can you read to us again tonight?"

I looked at Rick and waited for his nod, and then turned back, "I'm ready when you are."

"I'll get your plate," Carl took my plate before I could stop him and was off. I studied Carl next. He seemed slightly angry by the way he carried himself, and for good reason. He'd lost his mother. I tried to think back. He too was trying to keep busy. He too was struggling. I had been projecting my happiness onto them, projecting my joy, but projections were all they were. Only shadows of my own relief. I had to help them both.

"She's been sleeping so well since you got here," Rick rubbed a thumb on Judith's head, but only just barely.

"Well, that makes one of us," I let out a low chuckle as I patted her back softly.

"You seemed to be sleeping well this morning while we were all working," Daryl's eyes narrowed at me when I looked to him.

I shrugged it off. I didn't have time for that. I needed to think of how to help my foster family. "Yesterday was a long one, and I had a longer couple of months before it. Plus, it's easier for me to sleep during the day."

"It must've been hard to sleep on the road," Glenn looked up at me, trying to diffuse the tension. Good old Glenn.

"Can't really sleep on the road. That's the problem. Out there the best you can hope for is relaxing with your eyes closed," I smiled at him, "Glad that's over now." I looked back to Rick trying to show him how thankful I was on my face. I could see how he'd been worn down. I could see him so clearly now. I needed to help, give him a chance to sleep, "Speaking of, I can totally pick up the night watches. I won't be able to sleep anyway, and that'll let everyone else keep a regular sleep schedule."

"Are you sure?" I saw a flicker of relief in his eyes; even if it was slight it was something.

"Of course, you'd be doing me a favor."

"Can you be out there at 12:30 again tonight?" I nodded as the baby on my shoulder began to wake up, "That'll be good for the group." I knew what he really meant. He didn't mean the group, he meant himself. A step in the right direction.

I still felt the need to do more, "Hey," I leaned over to him, "Would you want to read to them with me?" I could see a subtle interest in his face, but he shot a small glance in Carl's direction. I hadn't seen him and Carl in the same room together besides meals. I hadn't seen them even talk to each other unless Carl was asking permission for something. That was it. If I needed to help them, then that would be the best thing to do. I needed to help this family be whole again. "My voice gets sore after a while, and I'm sure Judith would like to hear her Papa read to her." I could see the apprehension on his face as he looked at the child. She was sticking her fingers in my mouth once again, so I said with a smile and a drawl "She looks just like her Papa, don't she?" I faked eating her little fingers.

Rick smiled, but only slightly, "Sure, I'll be up there in a bit." I couldn't help but feel the victory go to my head.

He didn't need me to explain to him that everyone dies. He didn't need me to drum up some overly optimistic spiel about how the dead are still alive in our hearts, either. He needed time to read to his kids. It might help him relax. It might help him take a little vacation from his thoughts. But it would without a doubt give him time with his kids, his real kids. And that's what he needed more than anything right now.

Review Question Time Thing: Annie is finally settled in (for the most part) and is starting to deal with the tattered family she'd been invited into; do you think her plans to help the Grimes men will work, or will she just make things worse?