He swings his legs over the side of the bed, one by one. He steps down on the floor, slowly so he doesn't make himself lightheaded. He stands tall. It might seem like a minor step, but because of what he's been through in such little time, it feels like the biggest step in the world. Before, he was confined to a mechanical bed, with sheets that someone else had probably been laying in prior to his arrival at the hospital. Now, he was free. Now, he was one step closer to her.
He slowly walked into the bathroom, freshening up before his departure from the hospital. Once his teeth were clean and his breath was fresh (oh, he checked), he made sure that not a hair was out of place. Because his clothes from the day before were covered in blood, he had requested that Kelly had gone to the house to bring him a change of clothes. She returned, bringing him some sweats and tee, complimenting him on the fact that Olivia's underwear was still strewn about the bedroom floor, from their rendezvous the morning before.
"I knew something had you keeping her from us. Please remind me to ask her some of her tricks", she laughed, walking away.
He smiled and shook his head at the memory, but Kelly was absolutely right. Olivia had what she called "lazy love", and she often sang a song of the same name to Fitz after their lovemaking. He remembered how one morning she had walked into the bathroom to freshen up, walking back into the bedroom with a hairbrush for a mic, screaming out the words to the song off-key. He reminded himself that he needed to go find it and purchase it from iTunes, as he continued to get dressed.
He finally exited his room, rearing his head around the corner in search of the nurses' station. He saw a desk with a few women and two men in scrubs, some with stethoscopes around their necks, others without, and assumed that was what he was looking for. He walked up to the desk, inquiring about his discharge papers, and a nurse with a hell of an attitude handed him a clipboard before mumbling something under her breath. He had finished signing everything and was about to walk away, when Amanda popped up out of nowhere.
"Shit, Amanda, you scared me! I was just about to leave!"
"Really? Why the rush? There's about twenty minutes left of visiting hours, would you like to see Olivia before you go?"
"Seriously?", his face lit up like a million light bulbs.
"Sure, follow me!", she said, leading him to the direction of the ICU. She purposely added a little sway to her hips, hoping he would notice, but when she turned around around to see if she caught his attention, his head was buried in his phone.
"Ugh! Stupid iPhones!", she mumbled.
"Huh, did you say something?", he could of sworn he heard her speak, but he was unable to hear what she said.
"I said, don't you just love iPhones?", quickly able to catch herself.
"Oh, yeah, I guess..", he continued his focus on the touch screen, as she rolled her eyes.
"We're here! Now, normally we wrap up the visits ten minutes ahead of time, but because of the circumstances AND because you're such a sweetheart, I'll give you the full fifteen minutes. You can go ahead in, I'll stand watch in the hallway". He shook his head in approval, walking into the room and closing the door behind him.
He gasped at the sight that greeted him. She laid in the bed, her eyes closed. Machines with different lights and sounds surrounded her, with a number of tubes leading from them to the sites on her body. He walked closer and he choked on his tears when he saw what she looked like. She had a cast on her right arm and right leg, both slightly elevated in the air to help decrease the swelling. There were cuts and bruises all over her body, a bandage on her head at the site where the surgeons must have went through to stop the brain bleed. She even had tubes coming out of her mouth.
"Livvie..", he whispered, caressing her cheek in the only spot that seemed to not have been bruised. "Baby, I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry this happened to you. It should have been me Liv, it should have been me", he continued caressing her, hoping for some kind of response. She looked so small, so broken, so lifeless. She looked like an angel, sleeping so peacefully. Even under all the scars and bandages, she was still the most beautiful girl in the world. He just stood there, staring at her.
He took her left hand in his, rubbing his fingers on her ring finger, before he brought her palm to his lips, kissing it softly. "Baby, you told me to never let you leave me. To fight for you. I will find every doctor, every nurse, every surgeon that could make you better. You WILL make it out of here alive. You WILL fully recover. Olivia, don't you dare leave me. Don't you DARE fucking leave me on this earth without you. I couldn't survive. I would kill myself to be with you. So you, Olivia Carolyn Pope, you wake up! You wake up so we can be together, so we can continue our lives together. So we can have our five kids and grow old together. So you could turn me over so I don't get bedsores, so I can give you everything you ever dreamed of. Livvie, please don't leave me!", his body shook as his tears soaked his face. He knew she couldn't hear him, but a part of him believed that the words would somehow reach her soul.
She softly knocked on the door to let him know his fifteen minutes were up. She opened the door, walking into the room, where she saw him crying hysterically. She took it upon herself to seize the opportunity, praising herself for walking in at the perfect timing. She took him into her arms, leaning his head down on her shoulder, softly rubbing his back.
"Oh Fitz, there there hun. No need to worry, everything will be quite alright", she whispered into his ear. She got a whiff of his cologne, "God, he smells so good", she continued rubbing his back. He hugged her back, needing some sort of comfort. He saw it as something innocent, a friendly person comforting someone who was obviously in pain. But Amanda, oh Amanda, she saw it as something else. "God, his arms. His body. My God!", she squeezed him tighter.
He had finally pulled himself together, realizing he had been hugging Amanda for too long. He laughed to himself, knowing that if Olivia were awake, she would surely be giving them both a pretty evil eye. He loosened from the embrace, lifting his head up, and wiping the tears that remained on his face.
"Thank you Amanda, for the extra time to see her, for helping me calm down, for being so nice to me. Thank you for everything."
"Fitz, it's truly my pleasure. Please, don't waste your breath thanking me. I should be thanking you, for being so open with me", she grinned at him.
"I should be going. I'll come and see her tomorrow. Hopefully we'll run into each other again".
"Of course!", she smiled at him, "You're damn right we will..."
Home. He's finally home. But, it doesn't feel like home. It feels empty. It's full of things, both his and hers. But it's so empty. She's not there. Her light usually brightens the room. Her laughter fills each room with joy. Without her, it's so empty and so dark. He lays his keys on the counter, walking into the kitchen. He opens the fridge, just staring in it. He's hungry, but he can't eat. He knows he won't be in the mood to eat. So he just stares, letting the cool air hit him while he thinks about her.
He finally closes the door, dragging himself up the stairs into the bedroom. Her clothes and shoes are scattered everywhere, and he can remember her trying on a million things before she found the right outfit, like she always does. He always found it so cute that she was so indecisive about what to wear when she looked absolutely amazing in anything she wore. He picks everything up from the floor, placing anything he thought was dirty into the hamper, folding and hanging up the rest.
He walks over to the bed, diving face-first into the middle. He snuggles his face into the pillow that he landed on; it smells like her. A tear runs down his cheek. What is he going to do without her? He grabs the pillow, hugging it to his chest, as he slips into a slumber.
He arrives at the hospital early the next morning. His face looks like it had been hit with a ton of bricks, his eyes bloodshot red. He couldn't get an ounce of sleep. He was so used to her being in his arms, his nose nuzzling in her hair as she snored softly. It had been the first time in over six months that he had slept without her. It was something he could never get used to.
He walked into the conference room, where a hospital board meeting was being held in honor of his father's request for Olivia's private room. He was grateful to see a familiar face, and made his way to the seat next to it.
"Good morning Fitz, how are you today?"
"I okay, I guess. How are you Amanda? How is Livvie?"
"I'm fine, thanks for asking. And she's fine. Same condition. Nothing better, nothing worse", she smiled at him, trying to hide the fact that she was fuming on the inside. "Could he have waited a few seconds before asking about her? Sheesh!"
The hospital chief called the meeting to order. He addressed the request that was made, stating that he had approved it. He did warn Fitz that the price for all of the extra work and special care would run a pretty penny, stating that he was willing to do anything for the great Anthony Grant. And of course, he asked the question Fitz had gotten for years, why he was the Third when his father was named Anthony. "It's his stage name sir", he laughed with the chief, wondering what the hell this had to do with Olivia.
The chief continued the meeting, eventually reading off the list of names of the hospital personnel that were assigned to Olivia's care. Fitz was happy that Amanda's name was on the list, he trusted her with his care and only hoped she would do the same for Olivia.
"Yes!", she exclaimed inside her head. Being on this case was like the golden path to Fitz's heart. She would more than likely see him whenever he came in, which would be pretty much everyday. If he needed updates, she would give it to him; if he needed some company, she would sit with him; and if he had another episode like the night before, she would be right there to comfort him.
"This is perfect, isn't it Amanda?!"
She shook her head yes, saying to herself, "Just perfect indeed!".
AN: I absolutely know how much you guys hate Amanda, but we will be seeing more of her! You guys really crack me up with your reactions to her! There's always gonna be a rumble in the jungle! Amanda is the rumble this time. We'll see how close she gets to Fitz later on. I can totally see how you guys would act if you all were Olivia and there was an Amanda Tanner on the loose tryna get cozy with your Fitz lol. Hope you all enjoyed! and the song mentioned was "Lazy Love" by Ne-Yo. (: