52: No Rest For The Wicked

"Hello, Annie," I couldn't see through the darkness to the person speaking, but I could him there as if he was all around me, as if he was the darkness.

"Who are you?" my voice was coarse but quiet.

In an almost mocking tone the darkness responded, "Who do you think I am?"

"Beats me," I quipped.

"It doesn't matter anyways," the shadows let up slightly, giving me room to breathe, "You look like you need someone to talk to."

"I," I stared into the emptiness, "I killed some men yesterday."

"I know."

"I've killed people before that, too."

"I know." The gloom slowly morphed into grey fog, and I saw whom I was talking to. A man with slicked-back hair, tall and lanky, dressed in a suit darker than black. I couldn't make out his face before he spoke again, "What's really bothering you?"

On cue my stomach ripped inside of myself and the delicious scent brought spit to my once dry mouth, "I'm hungry."

"I know." His voice had a hint of sorrow to it, and in that moment I felt a speck of kinship between the well-dressed figure and me.

"I won't do it," I looked down at the bodies that had appeared at my feet; each seemed to be on their own platter, waiting to be consumed. I repeated, "I won't."

His hand clasped my shoulder, and even though it was freezing to the touch I could sense the sympathy. His voice dripped in empathy, "I know."

I looked into his shapeless face, into the abyss, "What do I do?"

He looked from me back out into the growing shadow, "Death is coming for you, Annie. Might not be soon, but I will be coming. Even if I'd rather not."

"I know."

The black flames of the darkness advanced. Just before they swallowed me I heard him speak one last phrase, "Maybe what you should do is start living."

-o0o-

When I woke up in the afternoon I only had a few moments to collect my thoughts before Hershel greeted me.

He leaned deep into his crutches, "My Beth said that she asked you if you could teach her some self defense."

"I told her she'd have to ask you first." I stretched my arms before reaching down to put on my boots.

"I appreciate that," he looked out at the cellblock before turning back to me, "Do you think you could see if Maggie wants to learn, too. I'd rest a lot easier."

I smiled at him, half because he wanted me to be the one to teach his girls about self defense and half because it was just nice to see. A father looking out for his children the best he could, the love in his eyes brought a stab of envy that I quickly shook off, "Just let me get some breakfast in me and I'll talk to them."

-o0o-

When I found the sisters they were sitting at one of the tables outside. They didn't even seem to be talking, just sitting there looking out at the sky. I took a seat across from them, "So would you two like me to teach you a few things about how to fight?"

"Did Dad say yes?" Beth's face sparked up.

"He did," I smiled back at her. From the corner of my eye I saw Michonne walking out of the prison, "Hey Michonne, come over here." I leaned in to the girls, "She can teach you a thing or two as well." The soreness was really starting to stick in from yesterday's events. It was a good distraction from the hunger. Sore I can deal with. Sore is good. Sore means I'm alive. Michonne's shadow crossed over me, "These two might want to learn some self defense basics."

"Good."

I looked up to her, squinting slightly when a ray of light passed by her head and hit me dead in the eye, "Think you could help?"

"Everyone should learn to protect themselves." Carol had just emerged from the guard tower, and I saw Michonne's eyes follow her down the stairs, "Can't be expecting someone to save all the time, gotta do it yourself." The two girls followed her gaze just as I did to the ungrateful woman making her way across the field, and once they saw her they let out a laugh. At least I'm not the only one who thinks that way.

"Exactly," I tried to get us back on subject, "Just give me two days to heal and then we'll start with some of the easier stuff."

Maggie shifted in her seat to face me again, "Like what?"

What was I going to teach them? I mean, I had to learn everything on my own. What if I had been doing something wrong? What if I'm shit at teaching? I quickly pulled something out of the air, "How to properly hold a gun, for starters."

"How to prevent getting a knife held to your throat," Carol was just out of earshot, but she looked over when the four of us started to laugh. Maybe we were being mean, maybe we were being childish, but where I come from if someone saves your life you thank them. End of story.

"And how to get out of it without slicing up your hand," I managed after we'd simmered down, "What do you say? You two in?"

Beth, clearly the more eager of the two spoke first, "I'm in."

Maggie just smiled, "Me too."

-o0o-

"You look better today," I stood beside Rick, who was still inventorying the supplies we'd collected the week before.

When he looked up at me I could practically see the relief in his face, "I'm feeling better."

"Good."

"Do you think you can go hunting soon?" When I didn't respond right away he popped up to standing, "We could use some more fresh meat."

"I can go in a couple days," I looked down at my bandaged hand and gently brushed the place where I'd been sliced, "I'd go now, but my hand still needs another night's rest. And tomorrow Michonne and I are teaching Beth and Maggie a few pointers, to help them protect themselves and stuff."

"That's a good idea," he went back to moving things around.

"It was Beth's," I wanted him to know that I wasn't trying to overstep my place, not yet. He'll come to me. That was the plan right? I smiled at him, "Gotta appreciate her wanting to improve."

"Hershel said it was alright?"

"Yep," I leaned against the wall, "He even asked me to, so I figured it would be fine." I watched for a few moments as he piled more things. A breeze came through the window Axel had managed to open that morning while I slept, and on that breeze came the smell of the blood. Yesterday's kills hadn't been thoroughly cleaned. To combat my stomach turning I clutched my hand, only the pressure brought back the reminder of the gash. Pain. Pain would help.

"You alright?" My moment had not gone unnoticed by Rick.

"Oh yeah," I pushed off the wall and walked towards the door, "And I'll go hunting the day after tomorrow." Fresh air, I needed fresh air. And a cigarette. And the scarf. And no not be here.

-o0o-

The sun shown down on us that day, but the full Georgian heat hadn't come full swing just yet. "So, the best way to shoot a gun is like this," I planted both feet firmly on the ground and held the empty pistol with both hands, "You might not always get a chance to fire like this, but it will give you your best aim."

"Like this?" Maggie was standing almost exactly as I'd been just a second before.

"Almost, might want to put your leading foot out just a little," I walked over to her and slid her foot forward with mine, "There."

Beth's voice was more unsure, "How about me?"

"Perfect," I held up the gun, "Now even small pistols have a bit of a kickback to them. Recoil, as the professionals call it. And just a reminder, I am not a professional. But I have shot more than a few guns in my day, so I know more than your average bear. Now, we aren't going to be shooting today, but I want you to think about the kickback."

Michonne elaborated for me, "It's like someone pushes your hand real quick."

"Basically," I nodded to her, "What you need to do is follow through. So the mantra is stand firm, breathe in, exhale while pulling the trigger all the way down, then follow through. Repeat that."

They did as I said, "Stand firm, breathe in, exhale and pull the trigger, follow through."

Michonne nodded, "That's it."

"Now the next one is a bit more work," I looked around to make sure Carol wasn't listening, "How to avoid getting a knife to the throat."

"Best thing you can do is stay out of arms reach."

I could see the confusion on Maggie's face, "That sort of goes without saying, doesn't it?"

"You'd think so, wouldn't you?" Michonne's sharp tongue had to be my favorite part about her. A little humor out here at the end of all existence really helped keep things light, and that was as good as a year's supply of food these days.

"Sometimes things get heated and people forget," I tried to be nice. "The best thing to do, at least in my opinion, is to just point a gun at the attacker."

Beth's voice was quiet, "What if you don't have a gun?"

"Then it get's more risky," I set the gun down on the table, "If you have no weapons then you just run."

"Isn't that cowardly?" Maggie was a strong woman, that much I knew. She'd been out at the fence, taking out walkers, getting her hands dirty, that was just the kind of person she was. But sometimes strength isn't everything.

I shook my head a few times and projected myself more than usual when I answered her, "If you learn one thing from today, let it be this: in life or death situations there is no such thing as cowardly."

Michonne stood beside me, "There's just living and dying."

"Exactly, Michonne."

"So you're saying if someone threatens me with a knife, I should run."

"Yes," I smiled at her, "And make it as hard as you possibly can for them to follow you. If you're a strong swimmer find yourself a lake, if you're a good climber run uphill. Any advantages you have use them."

Beth spoke once more, "What if they have a gun?"

"If someone pulls a gun on you, you're as good as dead." Michonne, the pessimistic realist.

"Well, yeah, most of the time. But there are options." I motioned for Michonne to help me demonstrate the options, "The good old zig-zag rush. Finding cover. Running in a horizontal line around them so they waste bullets trying to take you down. Rush them and try to take the hit in the arm or lower leg, something that most likely won't be fatal immediately."

"Chances are they'll get you though."

I nodded, "It's better to try to avoid those situations."

"And what if they get you with the knife?"

"If they have you like this," Michonne was there again, mimicking the hold the man had on Carol the other day. "Hand on wrist, fake a struggle without displaying your real strength. This will have them let their guard down, just a little, and that's all you need. Then hit them in any of the sensitive areas; head butt the nose, punch the groin, stomp on their foot. Make sure to get a firm grip on their wrist before though. When they react then you can slip out and take the knife. Then a few stabs to the head should do the rest."

"We need to kill people?" Beth looked horrified. Honestly, I couldn't picture either of them killing someone, anyone. Or anything for that matter.

"Only the people who hold knifes to your carotid artery, or an equivalent," I reassured them.

"I don't understand," Maggie looked at my hand, "If you knew all of this then why did your hand get cut up?"

"When it's someone else it's different," I shrugged, "I couldn't risk letting the knife get her, so I shielded her. It was the only option."

Beth crossed her arms, "I don't think I could ever do that."

"You'll be surprised what you can do when put under the right circumstances." I patted her shoulder, "I hope you never have to find out though, it hurt like a bitch. Still does, too."

"Are you healing alright?"

"Yes," I thought quickly of Beth, how Carl always seemed to be hovering around her if he wasn't with me. Time for some wingman work, Annie. "Carl can really stitch, though."

-o0o-

"Rick says you're going hunting tomorrow."

Why couldn't Daryl have just left when I showed up for watch like normal? I didn't want to talk to him, not in general, and definitely not after the long day I'd had. However fun helping the girls was I was still a bit more drained than usual. I figured it was best to keep it simple, "Yep."

"Said I'd go with you," I tried not to show how my heart sunk then; instead I forced a small grin as he continued, "in case you find another deer." He made his way to the door.

"Alright," I nodded, "I'll get you before I head out." When he left I cursed softly to myself. The hunting trip was something I'd actually been looking forward to. A break from the smell of humans. A break from people. A break from having to hold it all together. Now what did I have to look forward to? First I'd have to hide my new tracking method, then I'd have to resist the urge to kill the bastard, and if I could do all that then I'd still be stuck spending time with the one person I wanted to avoid, "Shit."

There you have it, the newest installment. Thank you so so so so so much for reading, you have no idea how great it makes me feel. I'd love to hear your feedback (THE MORE DETAILED THE BETTER) on how everything is going in this story, particularly your thoughts on the upcoming hunting trip, but don't feel limited. :) HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT!