Ahh! Less than 2 days! :))) ALSO: Sorry, I've been having difficulty with uploading this chapter. I had it ready at like 10 this morning, but it's been making me all angry! Damn this! I hope I can get it out to you guys today! Sorry for the inconvenience.

62: Made To Suffer

How long had it been since the shots went off? Seconds? Minutes? Hours? I couldn't remember. I couldn't even remember if it had actually happened of not. I didn't want to. Hope was pointless now. Who was I kidding? The shots weren't real. It wasn't real. It was just another hallucination. Some phantom noise brought on by the loss of my ear, or my mind trying desperately to cope with the end. This was the end and my mind wanted to keep fighting, but my soul, my soul felt empty. The noises, they weren't real. It wasn't real, but I'll tell you what was; I was all-alone now. I was alone and I wasn't getting out of here. I wasn't going to be saved. I wasn't going to make it back to Carl or Judith. I was just going to hang here until someone had the decency to put a bullet in my brain. Hope was gone. Hope had been taken from me, no matter what Death had said. Just because he cared for me didn't mean I was getting out. Even if they came they wouldn't be able to find me, it would be too late. I'd be dead or I'd be broken. I'm broken. There is no use. All I could do is hang here, close my eyes and think of where I wanted to be. His Goddamn eyes, his whole Goddamn face. I don't even know why is was on my mind, why I wasn't thinking of Carl or Joey. It felt so much easier than thinking of him. It wasn't pain; it was just a thought, just a vision. I let the tears flow out of me and waited.

I heard the door slam open and I knew there were only a few things that could happen now. More torture or death. I immediately started pleading through my worn-out voice, "Please, just don't hurt them. Let them go, you can keep me, just let them go."

"Annie!" That sounded like Maggie. No. I shook my head violently causing my body to jolt around; I was just imagining things. I was just dreaming. Just coping. That's all this was. It was just my mind trying to make all this better. It wouldn't help. It would just make it worse when the end came.

I felt hands on me, hands that wrapped around my hips. No. Not again. I thought Death had promised it wouldn't happen again. I struggled against the grip and cried out, "Please," I squirmed as the shrieks poured out, "Please not again! Not again!" I was lifted, and in a moment I felt the pressure on my wrists subside. It was relief, but I knew what was coming. If it wasn't torture it was Death. This was the end. I begged through the tears, "Please just don't hurt them." I squeezed my eyes shut as tightly as I could as I was set on the table. I didn't want to see who it was. I didn't want to see what was happening. Would they waste the ammo on me? Or would it be a knife? What if they chose something else? Something slower? Shit. "Please."

"Oh God, what did they do to her?"

I heard a knife unsheathe, a now familiar sound. No. A knife would be too slow. And that sound meant it wasn't Merle. It was someone else. No. Just use a gun. Just get this over. I couldn't keep it together. All I could do was curl up in a ball and squeal, "Please don't! Please! Just use a gun!" I felt a hand grab my wrists and try to pry them away from their place shielding my body. I screamed again as I resisted, "I'm not talking, just kill me and be done with it."

"Annie," was that Rick's voice? No, I pulled my sore limbs in tighter and began to rock. I was just imagining things. It wasn't real. "We're gonna get you out of here, just open your eyes."

I didn't want to. I didn't want to see what was happening. I didn't want to open my eyes and see that it had all been a big lie. I couldn't take that kind of let down. I'd die right here and now. I didn't want to see, but I couldn't help myself. I relaxed my eyes and forced them open. It took a few moments for the tears to make way and let me see. Then there they were, those blue eyes I'd been thinking about, they were right there. They were real, and they were right there and he was saving me. My body went limp and I was lost. He was all I could see, all I could focus on. I could hear murmurs behind me, but I didn't care enough to try to figure out what they meant. I just stared ahead and watched as the one person I'd wanted to see cut at the rope. Of course he'd be the one to save me. I felt the stings as the rope rubbed against my lacerated wrists, but I couldn't think about it. There wasn't enough room in my mind. All I could comprehend was the man I loved was saving me.

"She's hurt bad," I could barely make out his voice, "See the gash on her back? Must've lost a lot of blood." Why couldn't I hear him? Why was everything so quiet?

"My ear," I rasped lazily, ignoring what he'd said. I remembered my ear was somewhere on the table with me, but I couldn't look. I couldn't take my eyes off of him. If I looked away I'd realize it was all a dream and I'd have to wake up. My hoarse voice came out again, "I want my ear."

Another voice spoke from behind me, "I'm putting it in Glenn's pocket, Annie, just stay still." I felt as the tears fell off of my face and hit my thighs. Was I still crying? Would I ever be able to stop?

Then another muffled mumble came, "Where'd that Aidan go?" Was that Michonne? Of course Michonne was here.

"He wasn't with us when we got them," was that Oscar? I didn't care. I didn't care about anything except what was happening right in front of me. I felt the need for arms. I wanted those arms around me, and then I'd know it was real. Then I'd know that there was hope.

I didn't move immediately when my hands were freed. I was frozen still. Glued to the spot, but shivering. All I could do was suck in uneven breaths and stare ahead, trying to suppress the involuntary movements. I just sat there and watched as Daryl picked up the shirt off the floor, the shirt his brother had found it in his heart to give me, and walked back to me. He carefully slid it over my head, but the second my arms were through the holes he was moving away, "We gotta get going." I weakly reached out after him in protest, in desperation. Just one hug. One second. If I could just feel safe for one second then I could get enough strength back to get out of here. I might even get enough back to massacre the whole town tonight. I reached, but he was already too far away, already heading out the door.

I shifted to stand up but the second I put weight on my legs I collapsed, hitting the floor with a loud thud. I winced, "Shit." Michonne was there in a second, reaching down to help me, but I batted her hand away, "I can do it myself." I didn't want help. Where was this help when I really needed it? Where'd they been when I was being broken? Even Death came to help, but where were they? Taking their sweet time as I was being tortured? Don't blame them, just focus. I pulled myself up, this time trying to forget about the pain in my ankle, the pain in my side, the pain where my ear had once lived, the pain in my soul. I'd deal with it later. I'll deal with it all later. Right now I needed to be strong and get back and protect Carl and Judith. That's what I needed to do. That's all there is right now. I looked to Maggie, who was struggling holding up a bloody Glenn. We needed to get out of here, and in order to do that I'd have to suck it up and help Glenn. I stood on the other side of him and we began to carry him through the doorway and out of the building. This building. This ugly building. This is the building where Annie broke. I loathed it. I loathed every plank of wood, every slab of flooring, I loathed the pipes and the wires in the walls. I wanted it destroyed. I wanted to burn it down. I wanted to burn the whole town down. I wanted these settlers trapped inside when the flames rose. I wanted all these monsters dead. I wanted to rid this world of Woodbury. But that has to wait. Vengeance would have to wait. Safety first. Saftey first, then they all die.

-o0o-

It hurt. It hurt to walk. It hurt to breath. It hurt to think. It hurt to be alive. It hurt like hell, but I couldn't show it. I couldn't let any of them know how ruined I was. Not yet. Not until we were back. We have to get to safety, Annie. Then you can hurt. Then you can hurt all you want, you can cry all you want, but now we have to get out of here.

The three of us tried desperately to keep up with the rest of them. We were running on empty, but it didn't make a difference. Nothing made a difference. This was survival. I could hear people screaming around us. Unfamiliar voices of the people from this town. The people who lived in Woodbury. The people who let the Governor run the town, let that sick bastard run a community. I hated all of them. I hated every voice I heard. With every new scream I had to resist the urge to go after them, strangle them, show them some of the suffering I'd gone through. No. Not now. Focus. Focus on getting back to the prison. Focus on us. My group. My people. Woodbury can wait. It can wait and then it can burn. I heard Rick whisper to Michonne, "Which way?"

"In here," her voice was sure and we all piled into a building. Setting Glenn down, we tried to catch our collective breath.

"Where's Michonne?" I heard someone ask, but I didn't care. She got us out, and now she had her own work to do. I just leaned over panting, knowing exactly where she was. She was right where I wanted to be, killing that twisted fuck. Hopefully she'll make him suffer, and then Death can have him. I needed to keep moving, keep working towards the goal. If I stopped I'd crumble. I can't stop. I can't stop. I picked myself up and began to look around for anything useful. Anything at all. Where were we? Some café? These people had a café? As if I couldn't hate them any more than I already did. I rummaged around. Nothing. Great. I began looking through the cupboards silently. Nothing. Nothing useful. I didn't want to go back out there empty handed. I needed something in case they caught me again. I needed to protect myself. I needed to be myself for just a while longer, be strong for just a while longer. Shit. Shit. I pulled open a drawer: sporks. Plastic fucking sporks. The drawer was filled with them. Of all the cutler options in the world, sporks. I wanted to scream, and kick, and throw a tantrum. I couldn't though. I needed to stay quiet. I snatched one out of the pile and stood beside Maggie once more. At least it was something. The others were still catching their breath. This was my chance. I turned to look over to her. I wanted to ask her if I'd helped, if he'd violated her too. I wanted to know if I'd succeeded or failed. I wanted to know now. I just couldn't get the words out. She was just staring down at Glenn, worry across her face. I couldn't ask it. This wasn't the right time. Once we're out of here, but for now I'd wait.

Glenn spoke out, "Rick, we told him about the prison. We couldn't hold out any longer." Facts I already knew, but they still cut at me. After all I'd endured, all I withstood, Carl wasn't safe; no one back there was safe. The clock was ticking. He looked over to Daryl, "Merle did this."

"And this," my voice was quiet as I touched the left side of my face just in front of the bandage. I didn't want him to hear me. I didn't want him to think that I was angry about it, angry with his brother. I wasn't. I couldn't be.

"Merle? He's here?" The full gambit of emotions flew across his face and he stepped towards the door.

"We have to go," Rick held him back.

"But he's my brother, I gotta talk to him," his voice was so desperate. Hadn't I known it would be? He was finally close to his brother. I wonder what that feels like? To be so close to finding your brother alive and well? I would never know that feeling. I wonder if it's harder? It must be. I can hear it in his voice. I heard him plead with Rick as I touched the fabric of the shirt remembering the kindness Merle had shown me, "I can try to work something-"

"Glenn can hardly walk," Rick's voice was unyielding, "And Annie…" there was a long pause, "We need to leave now." I didn't see what happened then, I couldn't really see much of anything anymore. The fatigue, the blood loss, it was with me once more. Whatever adrenaline rush I'd gone through was leaving my system and the walls were caving in. Just stay focused. Just stay focused. Then suddenly we started moving once more. I didn't know where we were going, all I knew is we were running again. This time Maggie was dragging Glenn by herself and I was limping behind as fast as I could, clutching the spork like it was my very own katana. I couldn't think. All I could hear were the gunshots and the yells. All I could feel was the pain and the hollowness. All I could do was cry and stumble out a run.

I was passing by an alleyway when I felt a hand grab my arm and pull my in. I looked up preparing to brandish my piece of plastic, but I saw Aidan's face. "Annie," he smiled down at me, "They got you out," he pulled me into a hug and I was able to glimpse behind him. I didn't feel safe. This place wasn't safe. These arms weren't safe. We had to keep moving.

"We gotta hurry," I tugged at his arm as I attempted to make it back to the street.

"No," he pulled me back so hard I was sure my arm would be bruised, "You don't have to leave. I talked to the Governor, he said you can stay with us, you can stay with me here."

"You," my eye twitched slightly and I tried to process his words, "You – talked to the Governor?"

"Yeah," his grin was so wide then, he looked so proud, "I lived here before I got lost in the woods." He'd lived here? He'd lived in Woodbury? He was from Woodbury?

I saw movement at the end of the alleyway. Merle. Shit. I looked back to Aidan, my voice empty from the shock, "You – You're from Woodbury?"

"Yeah, come on." He opened a door, "Let's get you inside."

He tried to push me in. "No," I shoved him off of me.

"The Governor told me it was okay," still he smiled like everything was wonderful, "Don't worry about getting in trouble." Merle had finally reached us, but all I could see was that he wasn't pointing his gun at me. He wasn't trying to kill me. Not yet.

I slapped Aidan's hand away backing closer to the street, "The Governor, he did things to me, he raped me." The word I'd been avoiding in my thoughts, the one word I didn't want to use. Suddenly it was all real. Everything that happened in that room, it was real. There was no escaping it. I felt as my mind switched over. The time for feelings had passed, there would be time for it later on, but now it was purely survival.

"Don't worry," he persisted in trying to get me inside, "I don't mind. It's fine."

I slapped the hand again, this time gripping the spork firmly in my other hand, "You don't mind?"

"I still think you're beautiful," he stroked the side of my face that hadn't been sliced up by the man shooting out of the alleyway next to us, "What he did, it doesn't matter to me." That's when I knew what I had to do. Aidan was someone from Woodbury; he was one of these people. He was one of the Governor's people. That made him an enemy. And with what he'd said, how he didn't care about what had happened to me, he didn't find any offense in the thing that even Death himself had considered unforgivable, that made him worse than an enemy. What happened in that room, it wasn't okay. It wasn't fine. It could never be fine. I gripped the spork as tightly as my weak hand could manage, knowing exactly what I had to do.

"It matters to me," I spoke loud and clear this time before driving the spork through his eye socket in one swift motion. He screamed as he fell to the ground twitching, but I didn't stop pushing, I didn't stop until I was sure he was dead. It would never be okay. It could never be forgiven. Once he stopped moving I grabbed his rifle, slung it over my shoulder, and looked up at Merle, who now had a gun pointed at me. I stood up slowly and waited for him to shoot. Waiting for all of this to be over.

But that shot never came.

I stared at him, a deer in the headlights. I couldn't understand why the gun hadn't gone off. I could see something in his eyes, but I couldn't tell what it meant, not now, I was too tired. He shook his head before nodding to the street, "Now get!" I mouthed 'Thank you,' and then I ran. I didn't look back, I didn't aim the rifle, I just ran. I ran through the smoke. I ran through the pain. As guns went off I didn't flinch I just kept on going. I ran as fast as I could away from this awful place. My legs kept pumping as the bullets flew, and I didn't stop until I was at the wall.

There was another shot, then a scream from Maggie, "Oscar!" I couldn't think. I couldn't think about what had happened. We needed to keep going.

"Just get over the wall," I yelled as I climbed up and threw myself over. I hit the ground hard on my back, right where the gash must have been, and I couldn't control my howl of pain.

"Annie, are you okay?" Glenn was lying on the ground nearby.

I knew it wasn't safe yet; we'd have to keep moving for a while. I scampered up and over to him. When I picked him up I had to grit my teeth against the stings in my ankle. "We gotta keep moving," we leaned against each other for a moment, then Maggie and Rick hopped over the wall too and we were running again. I didn't know where we were going, none of us but Rick knew and all we could do was follow him. I could feel the stabbing pains in my ankle as my booted feet hit the ground ever second. I knew I was just making it worse, but I didn't care. I tried to will the stinging away from my thoughts. It didn't work. Shit. Shit. Just keep going. Don't worry, just keep going. You can deal with it later. Just keep moving. The faster we move the faster this will be over.

Then we suddenly stopped. Maggie and I leaned Glenn against a tree as Rick started picking something off of the ground. Was that a bag? What was it doing out here?

His whisper was furious, "Where's Daryl?" Did he really have to ask?

"Damnit," I sighed. He'd have gone to see Merle. Even if Rick told him not to, he wouldn't have listened. That was his brother. There would've been no way he'd leave without seeing him. And now we'd have to try to find him before we could head back. Shit.

There was a second when everyone but me snapped their heads and guns to one direction. I looked over just as Michonne was emerging from a shadow. The barrels didn't lower, "Where the hell were you?" I watched as Rick took Michonne's katana from her, but I couldn't understand why, "Hope you got what you came here for." I looked at her, hoping she's see me, hoping she'd say she killed the bastard. She didn't.

"You'll need me," she breathed, "To help get them back to the prison or to rescue Daryl." The guns lowered.

"Annie," Rick threw something at my feet. Gauze, "See if you can patch up Glenn." I nodded and knelt at his side.

I went over him, checking carefully as he protested, "You don't need to –"

"There are no real cuts," I wheezed, "There's nothing I can really do anyway."

His voice was almost as weak as my own, "You're shaking." I let out a large sigh turned laugh; I was hoping he wouldn't notice the tremors in my hands or the way my body was shivering as I hastily wrapped the gauze around my own torn up wrists. He didn't need to be thinking about that now. We weren't safe yet. We had a long way to go still.

"Don't worry about that," I made sure I smiled at him even if it was fake, hoping it would give him some sort of peace, "Just keep taking deep breaths and take this," I handed him the gun I'd gotten off of Aidan. He just nodded a couple times and closed his eyes. He hurt too. I could tell. He couldn't go back in there. I couldn't go back in there, not now. We'd be useless in helping rescue Daryl. We'd just slow them down. What we had to do was get out of here, back to the prison and the pain medication. I had to clean my ear out, clean myself off with some scolding water. I had to get out of here and warn the others. I looked to Rick who was speaking with Michonne, trying to come up with some sort of plan then back over to Maggie. This was my chance. I stood up and leaned by Maggie, needing to know now, needing to know if it has all been for nothing, "Did he," I paused, not wanting to say the word again, "The Governor, did he touch… did he hurt you like he hurt me?"

"No," she shook her head as she looked at me with her big eyes.

Thank God it hadn't all been for nothing. I'd protected her, saved her from this feeling. I let out a sigh of relief, "Good." I was taken aback when she pulled me to her.

She hugged me, with her lips to my right ear, "I'm who told them," I could hear her regret, "I told them about the prison."

"I know," I hugged her back, unable to squeeze her. I had nothing let. I wanted to break down then, I wanted to let my guard down. Now wasn't the time. We still had miles to go.

When she pulled away I could she see was beginning to tear up, "I'm so sorry."

"No need to be sorry," I shook my head and set my hands on either side of her face, "You two are safe. That's what matters." I patted her on her back. I tried to sound reassuring, but my vocal chords had been strained too much, "Just need to get Daryl back and then we can get back to warn the others. Get everyone ready for when they make their move."

Her eyes got wide again, "You don't think –"

I nodded before she got the whole question out. A look of fear came over her face, and I knew she was thinking of Beth and Hershel just like I was thinking about Carl and Judith. She didn't need to worry. Not now. I couldn't have her worrying now. I leaned against the tree by Glenn, the desolation filling me as I stared blankly into the darkness, "Let them come," my words cut like the cold but burned like hellfire, there was no use trying to hide my rage now, "I'm going to kill every last one of them for this."

There you have it, the escape! Survival Mode Annie. I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Thank you for reading. :) (AND SORRY FanFicGirl10! Annie killed Aidan. Don't hate me, that's just how the story was going! Us writers have to be cruel sometimes.)

Question Time! So! What do you think Rick's big plan will be for busting Daryl out (I too am curious to find that out tomorrow. Here's to hoping they burn the whole town to the ground!)? What do you think Annie will do, can she even help with another assault on Woodbury or will she have to sit this one out? How long do you think she can hold it together before breaking down? How do you think these recent events will affect her relationships with everyone, especially Daryl, Rick, Glenn, and Maggie? And finally, what do you think of Annie and Merle's unspoken understanding?

CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY! It really makes a difference in my writing, and it helps me stay motivated to keep churning out these monstrous chapters (incentive). :)