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**** Ana ***
Count Anastasia!
" NOOOO!"
I wake, sweating bullets and screaming my lungs out, again! Since leaving him two days ago, sleeping does nothing to numb the feeling I have inside, the pain and confusion in my head rivals constantly with the burning agony from my broken heart.
"How could he do this to me?!"
I cry out, heartbroken and just plain old miserable with the awful turn my life had taken. Suddenly I found myself being devoured by a constant dark shadow, one that just swept away everything good in my life and has left a trail of loneliness and painful memories.
How can someone be, at the same time, your entire reason to live and the very reason you no longer feel like breathing? How can someone claim to care for you and just pull up a freaking belt and spank the living shit out of you and make you count!
And for what? So he could feel in control of me and my body and get some twisted pleasure from all that? I just don't understand, and quite frankly, I don't want to!
"Christian Grey is a fucking asshole and he will never put his disgusting hands on me, or any other 'tool' he prefers, ever again!"
I say it with such fury in my voice one would actually believe it, but I know otherwise, and deep down, beneath all the anger and pain I feel, a very big part of me feels desperate to reunite with the one man I ever truly love, despite all his fucked up fifty shades.
"No! Stop it Ana! Be strong!"
And with that convincing statement, I pull myself from bed and step into my bathroom, hoping to take a very long and relaxing shower, only to realize that the previous playroom scene would leave my behind bruised and damaged for a few more days.
"Shit! Now I have a bruised ass to go along with my damaged soul! Thanks a lot Grey!"
I spit between grinding teeth! Not a good way to start my day but it will have to do, because today I had decided to throw myself at work and I wasn't letting anything stop me from doing just that.
And as soon as I step out of the shower and wrap my body in my fluffy towel, the sound of the door bell gets me by surprise.
"It's 7.30 am, who the hell could that be?" I yell, only to swallow hard two seconds later and beg to myself "Please, please! Anyone but you."
After five seconds of just standing still, petrified, I give myself a mental nudge, grab my purple robe and walk towards the door, breathing deeply and slowly. When I finally open the door, I immediately regret it.
"What the fuck are you doing here?!"
I yell out, not caring at all for the surprised look of the person in front of me.
"Hello Anastasia. I'm sorry to disturb you, you obviously have somewhere to be, but I just couldn't wait any longer. We need to have a little chat, if you don't mind."
And with that, the fucking bitch troll storms inside my home, uninvited and poises herself in the middle of my living room, every bit of her blond, gorgeous self dominating the damn room.
Fuck! I hate this woman, and now she's in my house and I feel like a little girl not knowing what to do with myself.
"I have nothing to say to you Elena!"
I manage to blurt out, trying to settle my nerves before I make myself do something that would, without a doubt, make me feel better and much more relaxed, punch that damn grin of her fucking face.
"You know, I never really understood what he saw in you, and now, seeing you like this I find myself even more confused. You are so ordinary, to say the least, that the only reason that makes sense to me is that you might actually be a good submissive. But even that seems unlikely given your feisty nature and youy annoying mouth. So tell me Anastasia, what do you have, or think you have, to make Christian so smitten by you?"
She looks truly confused and is now waiting for my answer.
Well, I think now it's as good a time as ever to tell her what you feel about her, don't you think Ana? And I agree with my inner goddess. It's on.
"You see Elena, I've been meaning to say this to you for some time now, so in a sense I'm glad you barged in my home uninvited and confronted me because here it is. Christian feels for me something he could never feel for a disgusting pervert excuse of a woman such as yourself, he cares for me. One might say, that in his fucked up way, he actually loves me. But you? You are nothing more than the crazy bitch who took his childhood away and turned him in the twisted fucked up man he his today. If it wasn't for you, he would have grown up to be a normal caring man, but now, he's just so screwed up that he cannot let anyone in without a freaking NDA or a damn contract. So to answer your question, i just gave him what he truly needed all along, love. Pure and simple. And with that I'm done. Get the heel out of my house and never speak to me again!"
Wow, I feel kinda breathless, but it worked. She looks disgusted and appalled by my words.
But then, she smiles, like she had just won some unspoken battle and she says, grinning and with pure malice splashed across her face.
"He could never love you because you could never be what he needs. You might love him, because let's be honest, the man is a dream, but he could never love anyone, let alone someone like you. He's broken, and as soon as you realize that, the sooner we can all go back to our lives. He's not the man for you Anastasia, and you are definitely not the right woman for him. And you will never be. And now if you excuse me, i have to go. I hope you listen to me and end this ridiculous situation for Anastasia."
And with that, she walks out of my house exactly as she walked in, dominating.
"God, I hate this woman so much!"
I yell my lungs out. Who the hell does she think she is to come into my home and talk to me like that! She has no idea the kind of relationship we have, had...or does she?
Either way, she has no right to tell me those things, playing the all mighty know it all when it's her fault he grew up to become this fucked up fifty shades that broke my heart in the first place!
He's my fifty shades, not hers! He showed me he could change, that he would change for me, not her!
But then again, I can't be what he really needs, that had become quite clear a few days ago. So maybe the stupid bitch is right, maybe I will never be the right one for him.
And if that's the case, I am done thinking about her, Christian or anything else concerning any of them. It's time to get back to the real world.
And as soon as I look at my watch I realize I'm late.
"Great! Now I'm pissed and late for work! Awesome day!"
