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Heartbreak Hotel

Somehow it didn't seem right to continue reading after the last letter; too many precious memories and heartfelt admissions, and since they never knew exactly what was coming next, Kate didn't want to risk disrupting the mood with something painful or depressing.

So the journal was laid to rest on the nightstand, its honorary 'spot' here at the Hampton's house as well, and left alone as they curled up together and dozed off to the vision of the night sky over the ocean, its vast expanse stretching as far as they could see.

Kate woke first the next morning, still wrapped in her partner's embrace. His chest was melded to her back, his arm heavy around her waist, and with every exhale, warm air danced across the skin of her neck. She smiled to herself. She'd never tire of waking to this, waking with him.

She shifted slightly, testing the tightness of his grip to see if she could slip out of bed and brew some coffee, maybe even make him breakfast in bed. But as she moved against him he sleepily held her closer, mumbled something unintelligible and buried his nose even deeper into the back of her neck. She could feel the cold tip of it nudging her skin, felt her smile grow.

Hypothetically, she could have wriggled out of his grasp if she really wanted to. She'd long since discovered that Castle was a fairly heavy sleeper, and that though he might protest and try to hold onto her, he would in fact have no recollection of the events when he woke. But she was so warm and cozy and it was their first morning in the Hamptons in over three months, so she opted to stay, watch as the sun peeked above the horizon, coloring the early morning sky.

Eventually, though, the rays of light became too intense, shining through the glass doors and casting a streaky glow through the bedroom. Kate averted her eyes then, the brightness blinding, and as she did so, she caught a glimpse of their journal.

She carefully twisted her head around, was met with the still-sleeping form of Castle. His grip on her hadn't relented in the slightest and, well, she was really in no hurry to go anywhere. So, why not?

She slipped an arm from beneath the sheets, reached out to take hold of the book. Quietly, she paged through to the next entry, propped it awkwardly against an extra pillow so she could read comfortably.

Dear Kate,

This was possibly both the most and least fun case ever. Fun because I got to go to Atlantic City and dress up like Elvis and hang with the guys and throw Ryan something resembling a bachelor party (okay, so that didn't quite go as planned) and get into trouble, all in the span of two days. I enjoyed myself immensely, though it's been a while since I had quite that much fun. My horrible headache this morning proves that I'm not twenty five anymore and I certainly can't drink like I used to.

At least there were no flaming mattresses and jellied curtains this time.

Kate snorted.

"Hmmm?" came a voice from behind her, sleepy and disoriented.

"Sorry," she whispered, reaching down to cover his hand with her own on her stomach. "Go back to sleep."

"'S too bright," he mumbled, snuggling his face even further into her neck, nose smashed into the pillow.

"Sorry?" she offered.

Castle shook his head, nose brushing the tendon in her neck, and she bit down on the inside of her cheek to stop from shivering at the sensation. He lifted his head then, surfacing from beneath the tangle of her hair. "Whatcha doing?"

She held up the journal.

He excitedly shifted behind her, nudged his chin over her shoulder to gain a clearer view of his words, and Kate had to laugh because he was so adorably eager. It nicely complemented his sexy case of bed head. "Did I miss any?"

She shook her head. "Just started."

"Mmmm."

"I'm glad you're awake, actually," Kate said teasingly as their eyes fell to the entry. "Because..." she pointed to the last sentence she'd read, let the words on the page do all of the explaining.

"Oh, right, umm..." Castle stammered. He knew Kate had a wild side in her as well, had done her fair share of less-than-legal activities when she was younger. But he also sometimes forgot his girlfriend was a cop and maybe there were some things he shouldn't share with her. Then again, everything in this journal was originally intended to not ever actually be shared with her.

"Castle."

"Things got out of hand?" he offered.

"Clearly."

"No, not... I'd just gotten divorced, okay? And it was bad enough that I had another ex-wife, but she was also my publisher and she still managed to nag me like no other and I just needed a weekend away."

She rolled over, questioning eyebrow raised, and Castle was struck with the urge to kiss the expression from her face because Kate Beckett with no makeup and tousled hair was quite possibly the least intimidating thing ever. "So you went to a casino in Atlantic City and lit a mattress on fire?"

"Not... exactly?" he said sheepishly.

She rolled her eyes.

"If you must know, we were really drunk and the mattress thing was a joke that got out of hand..."

"Waaay out of hand," Kate interrupted.

"...and I don't even remember how jam got on the curtains."

"Right."

"I don't."

"Wow."

As he looked up at her again, Castle at least had the decency to be a little bit ashamed. He'd had his fun, broken his fair share of rules, and certainly overindulged in alcohol on numerous occasions. Hell, Kate already knew all of that from his rap sheet. He'd never regret any of that because, well, you're only young once, right?

But at the same time, he knew now he'd never go back to being that man. He'd grown, matured, and who he was now was someone he was proud of. And not in the 'I get away with whatever I want' type of way, though he'd most certainly gone through that phase in the past.

He sighed, ran a hand over his face when he realized her eyes were still fixed on him, waiting for an answer. Or something, at least, given that she never actually asked him a question.

"Look, it was a long time ago and I'm not that guy anymore."

She leaned into him, smiled in understanding. "I know."

They fell into silence a moment as Castle contemplated... his past, his life, the questionable choices made by his former self.

"Thank you," he said eventually, and Kate immediately turned questioning eyes his direction. "For making me grow up."

"I didn't make you do anything, Castle," she pointed out.

"No, no, you're right," he agreed with a shake of his head. "You didn't. But you put up with me as I found my way. And you bring out the better parts of me, Kate. Every day."

She smiled broadly then because, in the end, that was one of the deepest and truest reasons she loved him as well; he brought out the best in her, and she loved who she'd become thanks to him.

"So do you," she replied quietly, voice full of gratitude.

He kissed her then, lips meeting deeply as they lost themselves in a moment of passion, both completely oblivious to the fact that they'd hardly read any of the letter.

They separated after a few moments and it was Kate who first realized it, dug the journal out from where it'd been half-shoved under the pillows.

"What are you doing?" Castle questioned, still slightly (and adorably) flustered.

"Reading the rest of it."

"The rest – rest of – the notebook? Kate, we don't have to read it all in o..."

"Of the entry," she cut in, saving from stumbling through the rest of the sentence. "The rest of the entry."

"Oh."

She released a small laugh, lovingly nudged his shoulder with her own.

However, not being able to work with you, being sent two and a half hours away from you, wasn't so much fun. No matter how much I enjoyed AC, I missed you. A lot. I missed being by your side all day. I missed standing at the murder board and building theory with you and just... being with you.

It's ridiculous, because it was only two days, but I missed you like crazy. I don't know what I'll ever do if one of us goes on vacation or, heaven forbid, I have to stop shadowing you. Sit around and mope, I guess. I can only hope that day will never come.

Regardless, it's good to be back in town now (and no longer hung over), and I can't wait to see you at the precinct in the morning!

Love,

Rick

"Really?" she drawled. "Two days?"

"Says the woman who once called me from work after two hours because I was home writing and she missed me?"

"That's not... I never..."

"Yes, yes you did," he interrupted. "And you know it."

Childish though it was, Kate stuck her tongue out at him. He leaned towards her and she reacted quickly enough to dodge his advance, but not quickly enough to slip out of his reach. His arms closed around her, tugging her back to him, and he pinned her to the bed with his body.

"Admit it," he murmured, leaning down so closely that she could feel the heat radiating from the full length of his body. "You miss me just as much as I miss you when we're apart."

"Ne... never," she panted.

But then his lips were on hers and she vaguely registered him growling the word 'liar' before everything, her entire world, narrowed down to his scent and his skin and his lips and just… him.


Thoughts?