Dial M For Mayor

The loft was dark when he arrived, only a faint stream of light making its way through the cracks in the bookshelves. It wasn't all that late; just after ten, because Alexis had insisted she needed to head back to her apartment and study a bit before bed. Naturally, Castle had done everything he could think of to stall her, to prolong their conversation, but she'd eventually declared that they could either share a cab or she'd take her own. So he'd relented, riding back to campus with her and then heading straight home to Kate.

He'd at least somewhat gotten used to Alexis not living at the loft for most of the year; after all, it was the beginning of her junior year at Columbia now. And he couldn't be more proud of his daughter, of her academic successes as well as the ways she'd grown and matured. It was so wonderful to watch her discover herself and find her way and she now seemed miles away from the teenager who'd struggled to find her place amongst backstabbing girls, who'd fought to find her way after her dreams of Stanford were crushed.

And though he was proud of her independence, though he had Kate now so he wasn't alone in the loft, he still felt his daughter's absence, and it was always elevated right after visiting her.

Once inside, he made a beeline for their bedroom, fully intending to wrap Kate up in his arms and hold her until he felt less of a hole in his life. But when he arrived at the doorway, he froze in place, eyes drawn to his fiancée. She was leaning against the headboard, knees curled up in front of her, a book balanced on them. But he could tell, even from a distance, that she wasn't reading.

No, her eyes were solidly focused on her left hand, on the glittering piece of jewelry that he'd placed there just twenty-four hours ago, and the soft smile on her face was so sweet and tender.

"How'd it go with Alexis?" she asked after a minute, never lifting her gaze, and he startled slightly.

Castle smiled and shook his head in disbelief, though really he should've known she'd heard him approach. "It went well. She's... she was excited and protective all in one."

Kate lifted her eyes now. "So she's okay with it?"

He crossed to the bed, toed off his shoes and sunk down next to her. "Of course."

Kate leaned in to steal a kiss from his lips, smiled against him before pulling away ever so slightly. Their eyes met and held, sparkling with love and the radiance that still hadn't worn away since the proposal, and probably wouldn't for quite some time.

Castle broke the moment a few minutes later, nudging Kate's shoulder with his own, drawing her from her trance. Her eyes had been fixed on the ring once again, mesmerized by the shimmering diamonds and all that they symbolized.

She smiled up at him, completely besotted and not even the slightest bit embarrassed that he'd caught her staring at it. Again.

"If I'd known that was all it would take to get you to marry me, I'd have shown you the journal a long time ago," Castle teased gently

"Don't make me regret it," she joked, eyes dangerous, dancing with mirth. But it was a good kind of dangerous, a sexy dangerous.

He reached for the journal, handed it to her. "Then perhaps we should read some more. Don't want you to go changing your mind now."

She rolled her eyes lovingly but set aside her novel, scooted over so he could situate himself next to her. She opened the journal, flipped through to the bookmark.

Dear Kate,

You have no idea how difficult it is, hiding this from you. I hate keeping secrets. I have to, for your safety, and that's the only reason I've held this in. But I hate it.

I know you're not going to like me when you find out. You're probably going to be furious and kick me out of your life. That seems to be our pattern and I don't foresee that changing. But if I tell you this, let you back in on this case, they'll try to take you away again. And this time, I don't think they're going to fail. So I hope you can understand my point of view. I hope you know that I'm only doing this because I have to keep you safe. I have to; for Montgomery and your dad, and for me, because I love you and I don't want to lose you. I was given this responsibility by two people I have a great deal of respect for, two people who would do anything to protect you. It's a responsibility I take very seriously.

I don't care if you think you have a right to know, if you think you can handle it. The fact is, you don't get to know, because even if I tell you in secrecy there's a chance they may find out, and that's something I couldn't handle.

I almost failed the first time, Kate, and I'm never going to let that happen again. I will do anything, anything, to keep you alive, even if you hate me for it. I'd rather have you alive and angry at me than not a part of this world. You deserve to live, Kate, to experience life. Your mother would want you to be able to have all the things she never did, do the things she didn't have a chance to do. I never knew her, but as a parent myself I know that's what she would say.

So I will continue to keep this a secret. I'll continue to uphold my part of this deal. I hate going behind your back, but it's the only way to keep you away from the case, and that's part of the deal. You have to stay away from the case.

And I have to be the one to ensure that you do.

I never understood the connection between this case and your mother's. Not right away. Not until this mystery friend of Montgomery's called did I even consider that the cases might be related. But he explained it to me yesterday, after it was all over. Explained to me that the mayor was set up to take the fall for this in order to keep him from moving up, because as long as Weldon is the mayor, I'm allowed to shadow you. And if I can shadow you, I can make sure you stay clear of the case. As soon as Weldon is out of office, I'm out of the precinct, and we've lost that line of defense.

It's convoluted, I know, and I'm still trying to wrap my head around it, to be honest. But Montgomery trusted this man so, by extension, I trust him as well. If this is what needs to be done, I'll do it. At some point, I know I'm going to face nasty consequences. I understand that and I'll probably deserve it. But it's a risk I'm willing to take, because your safety is far more important.

Someday, I hope you understand this too, Kate.

And someday I hope you can live your life free of the confines of this case and of the past. Someday I hope you can live without fear. Until then, I'm here to help ease the burden.

Love,

Rick

"I don't think I ever thanked you for that," Kate realized suddenly, lifting her eyes to his.

"For what?"

"For everything you did to protect me."

"No thanks needed, Kate. You know I'd do anything for you."

"But I was horrible to you. I treated you so badly and all you were doing was keeping me safe."

"Kate..."

"No." She held up a hand, silenced him. "Just let me say this."

He nodded, quietly mumbled an, "okay."

"I just..." she began, paused to reassemble her train of thought. "I know it might've seemed like I hated you at the time, but the truth is I only hated what you did. I never hated you."

"I'm glad," he acknowledged, voice barely above a whisper. His right hand came to rest over her left, fingers fiddling with her engagement ring. "Because since we're..." he traced his thumb over the diamonds as he searched for the words, "I'll do whatever it takes, Kate. I want us to have our forever."

She wanted to protest, but how could she? It would only lead them to the same dead end they hit every time they had a close call and started admitting to their fears of losing one another. It was a disagreement neither would ever win. Besides, she was still giddy from the proposal and the sentiment was sweet, and she just wanted to bask in this moment with him.

So she set aside the journal, leaned in to kiss him deeply.

"Me too, Castle."

Thoughts?