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"How is she?" My voice breaking, filled with pain and sorrow. Ana still had no memory of who I was or what we had together. It had been a long week. I was starting to lose hope. Maybe this was Ana's way of showing me that we belonged apart.

"She's sleeping now. I'm sorry Christian" Kate whispered, trying to keep Ana peaceful a while longer. I kept gazing at my beautiful Anastasia, so close but yet so far from my reach.

"She remembers nothing from 2 years ago. I tried to get her to think about it, but she started having headaches. I think it's still too soon. But she'll come around, just give her some time Christian" Kate was actually trying to appease my mind. The world was really upside down for Kate Kavanagh to start acting as a friend of mine.

"Maybe she needs me to just leave her alone. Pressuring her hasn't done her any good so far. Every time I get close to her she panics. And I can't bear to see her like that. Looking at me like that, afraid of me. I just can't" I whispered, more to myself than anything. I had pondered on what to do, ever since Ana woke up to fear me. My heart cried for the simple thought of leaving her and not looking back. But my mind pressured me to just do the rational thing and leave.

Deep down in the pitch black pit of my own personal darkness, I knew this should be taken as a god sent sign that I wasn't meant to taint Ana's innocence any further. And I knew I would eventually, it was only a matter of time before she was truly damned for ever meeting me. But pulling away from her, the only woman I truly allowed inside my heart, was proving to be a task from hell. And I was starting to feel to limp of a man to do the right thing and just free her from the impending doom.

"Christian. I know we were never truly friendly towards one another. We merely tolerated each other because of Ana. And it is because of her that I beg you to fight. For her and for you. She deserves her true love to keep fighting for her, even if she can't remember who that person is right now" Kate was pleading me to stay? And she actually believed me to be Ana's true love? I was dumbfounded.

"A big part of me wants to stay and fight for her. But I can't shake this feeling that Ana waking up and not remembering me is faith's way of sending me on my way. She's too good for me Kate. I always knew that, but pushed those feelings away because she loved and wanted me in her life. But now she doesn't even know who I am, let alone love me. She deserves to be happy. Me sticking around will only remind her of what she used to know and feel and she'll feel nothing but sadness and regret. I don't want her to feel nothing more than true happiness. Even if that means letting her live her life without me in it" Fuck, that felt like a knife to the heart, a twisted and infected blade whose only purpose was to destroy and kill everything in its way.

"Don't you dare give up on her. She would never give up on you, no matter what stood in her way. She would fight for you. Always" Kate was pissed. But why? You'd think she'd be happy to finally have me gone.

"Why are you mad? Ana is better off without me, you know that. And I'm pretty sure you warned her to stay away from me once or twice before. It's the right thing to do" I can feel Kate's internal struggle. She dislikes me but loves Ana.

"Don't be a coward! Stay and fight for her! She deserves you to fight for her! And what if she wakes up tomorrow, remembers every thing and you're nowhere to be found? She will be heartbroken and it will be your fault. Can you live with that? Can you live knowing that you broke her?" Kate is now full blown fighter mode. Fighting for her friends happiness. It's endearing, if it wasn't so misguided. Ana deserves to be happy, of course she does. But not with me, never with me. I'm to damaged, too fucked up for that to happen.

"I'm not a coward! If I knew she would regain her memory eventually I would never leave. But you heard what the doctors said, even my mother said so. Her memory is damaged. There's no telling if she will ever regain those 2 years back. So what if in the mean time, she finds someone else? Someone more deserving of her love? What then? Must I wait until she moves on? Isn't it better if I just disappear? It's not like she'll miss me. She won't even notice I'm gone. I'll be nothing more than a ghost of what her life used to be."

"I thought you were stronger than this. The way Ana spoke of you, one would believe you were a god or something. Now I see you're just like any other man out there. Too weak to fight for anything worth fighting for. She loves you. But you can't appreciate that. Just do her a final kindness and vanish. She deserves better than a spineless coward looking for an easy way out." The look of disgust and disappointment on Kate's face was heartbreaking. Every word out of her mouth was like a tiny needle being shoved deeper and deeper into my racing heart. Her tone was so cold and vicious.

She truly was looking out for Ana, and just for a moment, I felt better knowing that Ana could rely on her for comfort. Not that she would need comfort. After all, she couldn't mourn something she had forgotten. But I could, and I would remember every thing. Every minute of every day spent close to her. Her touch, her scent, her warmth. I would miss every inch of her perfect body. But above all else, I would mourn the love she had so willingly given me. A love that had me, for a moment, thinking I could actually have it all. Ana had stumbled into my life, her light burning too bright, too fast for someone like me to bear. Now she was gone, taking with her my happy ending. All that was left was the cold embrace of reality. My reality. And it had never look so dark and hopeless. . .