Someone suggested I write about wedding planning and then, well... this happened.

Secret's Safe With Me

"Come on, Kate," Lanie begged, tugging the detective's arm and nearly displacing the coffee cup she held in her left hand.

"Lanie, I..."

"Just to look," she interrupted. "I'm not saying you have to buy anything today, but how can you not be just the littlest bit excited about finding a dress?"

"I just don't think I need to rush it," Kate deflected.

"Looking isn't rushing, sweetie. It's been almost two months now."

"Lanie, we haven't even set a date yet."

"Come on," she said determinedly, pulled Kate by the crook of the elbow into the quaint midtown shop. "You know you want to."

Kate rolled her eyes but followed of her own volition now. "Fine. But just for a few minutes."

As it happened, a few minutes turned into twenty and then thirty and then almost an hour as Kate and Lanie searched through rack upon rack of flowy white dresses, cringing at some, rolling their eyes at others, and even approving of a few. At least, Lanie approved, which was why Kate was now stepping out of the fitting room donning dress number four.

Lanie gasped as Kate came into view, the strapless white dress wrapped beautifully around her figure, the bodice adorned with beads and the fabric flowing out from her waist and down to the ground in a modest train.

"Kate..."

The detective stopped in front of the three-way mirror, turned to one side and then the other to examine the contours of the dress. It was gorgeous; of that, Lanie was correct. But there was something... missing.

"You look amazing," Lanie gushed, stepping forward to fiddle with the lacing that ran up the back, adjusted the fabric over Kate's waist. "Oh my gosh, Kate. Castle's going to be speechless."

"Lanie, I'm not getting anything today."

"But this one..."

"Is pretty," Kate interrupted. "But I'm not ready to decide."

"Why not?"

Kate stepped back from the mirror, turned away from her friend and towards the dressing room in an effort to hide the tears pricking the corners of her eyes. "Lanie please, just... stop."

The ME backed off, confused, but wisely remained silent as Kate changed back into her street clothes, stashed the dresses on the rack in the dressing room area, and headed out of the store. Not until they rounded the corner did Lanie dare speak.

"What's wrong?"

Kate's response was abrupt. "Nothing."

"Honey." Lanie snagged her friend's wrist, stopped her from walking away. "You and I both know you're lying. Now what's wrong? Is it something with you and Castle? Because just last week you were gushing about being engaged."

Kate sighed, tugged her hand from Lanie's grasp and dodged a few pedestrians as she stepped up to the brick wall of the nearest shop, leaned back against it. "I just... I always thought when it came time to pick out my wedding dress, my mom would be there to help me. And she's not."

"Oh, Kate, I'm so sorry," Lanie consoled immediately, stepping forward to rest a comforting hand on Kate's upper arm. "I should have thought that through."

"No, no, it's okay," she replied with a shake of her head. "I mean... I have to find one at some point."

"Yeah but..."

"It's okay," Kate reiterated. "Really."

They stood in silence for a few moments before another store caught Lanie's eyes and then she was hurrying off across the street with Kate in tow, talking animatedly about the cute pair of boots in the window. Kate smiled, shook her head at her friend's exuberance.

Things would be okay.

"Hello?"

Kate rolled over, sleepily blinked one eye open. It was light outside but the sun was in the wrong side of the sky for it to be morning. And she was most certainly not on a bed.

She lifted her head, surveyed her surroundings. Castle was pushing himself into a seated position, phone to one ear while his free hand was busy running through his hair, straightening his shirt.

Kate was lying on her side on the sofa with a blanket half-tossed over her. She squinted at the table in confusion, barely able to make out the words on the DVD cover sitting there. Right. They'd decided to watch a movie and at some point they'd wound up spooning on the sofa. And then, apparently, had fallen asleep.

"I... what do you mean?"

Kate's attention was drawn back to the phone conversation and the rising volume of Castle's voice.

"She was doing what? No, I didn't."

Silence on his end.

"I'm telling you, Paula, I have no idea. She didn't say anything to me."

A pause, he ran his hands through his hair.

"I don't know. Look, I'll... yes, I'll tell her. I don't... just do what you can okay?"

A sharp nod.

"Thank you."

He ended the call, turned to find Kate making her way to a seated position, eyes trained on him as he reached for his iPad. She watched curiously as he typed a couple of words into the search bar, vision glued to the screen, the expression on his face going from confused and annoyed to disappointed.

"What is it?" she asked.

He turned the device towards her and Kate was shocked to find a picture of herself staring back at her. Not the first time her picture had shown up online, but the first since they'd publicized their engagement.

"What?"

"You tell me," Castle replied.

"I don't..." she scanned the picture for clues. Based on her outfit, it must have been taken three or four days ago. She was wearing flats, so she wasn't at work. And was that...? That was Lanie's head visible through the throngs of pedestrians. Lanie's head right in front of the wedding dress boutique.

Crap.

How did anyone even manage to spot her?

"What the... why am I on the tabloid site? I'm... I'm not even... I'm a cop."

"And you're also dating me."

"Don't people have better things to do with their time?" she protested. "What did Paula say?"

"That she'll do what she can."

Kate sighed, slumped back against the corner of the couch and ran a hand through her hair. "God, I just... why?"

"When was this?" he asked.

"A few days ago," she responded honestly.

"You didn't mention it," he pointed out, not accusing, just curious and confused.

She shook her head. "No, I... it wasn't planned. It was spur of the moment and Lanie dragged me in and..."

"Yeah but..."

Kate cut him off. "I tried on a few dresses, didn't really love any of them. I didn't buy one, and it's not like you're going to help me pick one out anyway."

"No, but my mother or Alexis might like to offer their support and assistance."

"I..." she trailed off, considering his suggestion for the first time.

"And it would've been nice to know that you're actually thinking about the wedding."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kate snapped, annoyed that they were even having this argument.

"Just that every time I bring up setting a date you manage to deflect the question."

"Castle..." she protested. He wasn't wrong in his accusation. She had dodged the question at least twice now, and perhaps she owed him an explanation.

He stood from the sofa, held out a hand to stop her. "I have to go. I have dinner plans with Alexis. We can talk when I get back."

"Castle..."

"Later," he replied, leaving no room for compromise.

Kate sighed, tugged the blanket up over her and curled into a ball beneath the warm covering. She was so not in the mood to deal with this right now.

The loft was dark when Castle returned from dinner with his daughter, the only illumination stemming from the lamp on the end table by the sofa. He and Alexis had wound up eating and talking and wandering the sidewalks for over four hours, and yet Kate was still here in the living room, still curled up beneath the same blanket. The television was off but the snacks from the movie still sat on the table, indicating that she hadn't moved since he left.

Castle discarded his jacket, shoes, and keys, crept across the room to wake her. He was still upset about the earlier tabloid photograph, about the argument it had morphed into. But right now he was also tired and wanted to curl up in bed with his fiancée. They could deal with everything else tomorrow when tempers weren't running so high.

He stepped up to her, reached out to wake her but stopped at the peaceful sight before him. She was fast asleep, features soft and relaxed, and he decided against waking her. He gently shifted the edge of the blanket up off the ground and further around her shoulders, catching sight of a brown and white object wedged against the cushions as he did so. He peeled back the blanket ever so slightly, found their journal lying by her hands as though she had fallen asleep clinging to it, lost her grip on it as her muscles relaxed.

Which meant that she'd gotten up to get it at some point, probably because she was upset and missed him. He felt a pang of guilt at having left so abruptly rather than calling Alexis and postponing their plans by an hour or so, thus allowing him time to work things out with Kate. Not one of his finer moments.

Castle carefully extracted the journal, dropped his eyes to the page that lay open.

A letter he didn't recognize, not right away at least.

Dear Kate,

I don't even know what to say. I'm just so incredibly happy. So happy. These past few months have been beyond amazing. I keep waiting for the spark to die, for the giddiness to fade, but it's not happening. I know, I know, we're still in the infamous 'honeymoon period.' I know it's supposed to be like this. But even so, I've never felt like this before.

I never realized it was possible to fall more and more in love with you every day.

The way you were willing to talk to Alexis on your own even though it's not your responsibility. The way you're becoming more willing to open up to me about your past and share stories of memories that are near and dear to your heart. It means so much to me that you trust me enough to let me in. And that you want us to be together badly enough to be willing to confront my daughter.

(For the record, she doesn't actually hate you. Apparently I misinterpreted her anger.)

And our handshakes... God, Kate, they're just electric. I've never felt such a magnetic pull to someone from a simple touch. Sure, I've been in relationships with chemistry, but never like this. I've never wanted someone so badly and so often. All the time. I don't even know how I managed to refrain from kissing you yesterday, because every fiber of my being was screaming at me to pull you close and kiss you deeply and take you home with me and never let you go. Believe me, that was exactly what I wanted to do.

(From the look on your face, I think that's what you wanted too.)

Call me pathetic, but I'm sitting at home right now with a glass of scotch counting down the minutes until you're done for the day, until you can show up at the loft and take away the emptiness. With Alexis gone it just seems so quiet. Lonely. I need you, Kate. More than you realize. More than is probably healthy.

You make me smile and you bring so much joy to my days and you make me forget the sadness because I get so wrapped up in loving you that nothing else matters. How can it, when I have you in my arms?

Any minute now, you should be showing up at my door. Any minute now I'll be opening it to see a smile on your face and I'll pull you into my arms and kiss you like I wanted to last night. We'll probably order take out at some point, maybe relax and watch a movie while cuddled up on the sofa. Then we'll fall into bed and I'll hold you and never let you go.

And you won't complain because even if you won't admit it, I know that you need me as much as I need you. Your eyes say more than you realize sometimes.

(Though tonight, with Alexis gone, I fully admit to being the neediest one.)

Just heard a knock on my door so I guess I better wrap this up because as much as I love writing about you, the real-life version is a million times more inspiring.

I love you, Kate.

Rick

"Castle?"

His eyes fell to her sleeping form as she stirred, mumbled his name, forced her eyes open.

"Hey," he murmured, hand automatically extending to brush a lock of hair behind her ear. "Sleep well?"

She nodded against the pillow. "What time's it?"

"Close to midnight I think," he replied.

"Mmmm. How's Alexis?"

"She's doing well." Castle trailed a finger over the line of her jaw, down her neck to the ridge of her shoulder. "Let's get you to bed."

Kate slowly pushed herself into a seated position, swung her legs down to the floor. "Whatcha reading?" she asked sleepily as Castle quickly skimmed the final few words of the letter.

He held it up for her to see before setting it aside. "Found it lying here with you."

"Oh, yeah. I was... I needed it," she admitted shyly. "Sappy was good."

He smiled, both at her confession and from the residual impacts of reading his letter, reminiscing.

"I have to get it out somewhere," Castle admitted teasingly. "Don't think the publishers would appreciate the next book being one long love letter."

She rolled her eyes but was unable to suppress her smile.

"Hey, Castle?"

"Hmmm?"

She forced herself up off the sofa, turned to him. "Can I tell you a secret?"

He stepped closer, slipped an arm around her waist. "Of course."

"I love it when you're a sap."

He smiled into her hair, breathed her in, his heart bubbling over with happiness and love. "I hate to say it but that's not much of a secret," he teased.

She whacked his chest but he merely smirked, eyes dancing with smugness. Kate rolled her eyes but with no malice behind the gesture. Because, yeah, she couldn't really hide anything from him anymore, no matter how hard she tried. Her ability to remain annoyed with him had all but vanished as well.

Apparently so had his; she could tell by his words that, for now at least, all was forgiven.

"Don't worry," Castle whispered, dipping his head so his lips brushed against her ear. "Your secret's safe with me."

Thoughts?