Jane Doe
It's time.
She's ready.
Yesterday, Rick brought her breakfast in bed. A tray with the paper and coffee and waffles drowning underneath piles of fresh fruit and a graceful, long-stemmed rose in a slender vase. He had set the whole thing down on the nightstand and settled next to her hip, skimming his fingertips along the ridge of her clavicle to rouse her.
When her eyes had blinked open she had seen him backlit by the tentative morning light, sleepy and rumpled and adorable. "Mal is fed and dressed and playing in his room. So you can take as long as you need. Relax with your breakfast."
It had been so hard, astonishingly difficult, not to just open her mouth and say it. Instead she'd smiled at him, wide and untrammelled by any self-consciousness she might have been harbouring up until that moment.
And now she's certain. It's time. And she will get it right.
At the precinct in the middle of a case that is so slow, so terribly dull that she swears she can actually feel her brain cells dying one by one, Kate sneaks off to the break room and tugs her cell phone free from her pocket, perches on one of the high stools while she dials and waits.
"Hello?"
"Martha. Hi." Kate says back, joy in her voice. She's been giddy with it since she figured out exactly how this will go, and now she finds herself drumming her heels against the bar of the stool she's sitting on. "Can you talk?"
"Of course Katherine, darling." Rick's mother says and Kate hears her own delight reflected back at her as if from the surface of a pond, rippling and a little distorted by Martha's confusion.
Taking a deep breath, Kate places the hand not cradling her phone palm down on the table top and spreads her fingers wide. Partly to stop her nervous trembling, but also so she can admire her ring. "I was wondering if you could have Marlow tomorrow. I'm planning. . .something, for Rick, and I need the day with him."
"Oh, honey, I'd love to." Martha says brightly, and in the background Kate hears the clamour of the ever-bustling acting school. But tomorrow Martha isn't working; Kate checked on the schedule planner Rick has in his office that details the activities of their extended family.
"Are you sure? If you have plans I could ask my dad." Her father is actually out of town right now, on the fishing expedition, but Martha doesn't need to know that. Kate doesn't ever want to guilt Marlow's grandmother into taking care of him.
She gets a huff of breath and then Martha's voice, further away sounding as she calls out to someone. One of her students maybe, or a fellow teacher. And then she's back, sounding a little breathless but certain. "I'm sure, Katherine. My pleasure. What time would you like me to be at the loft?"
"Oh, well, I was actually hoping Rick would come to the precinct with me. So could you come over at about eight?" Usually Kate gets to work for around that time, but there's really no reason for it. And if her husband is going to join her they can head in to the precinct a little later than normal.
"That sounds just fine. I'll see you tomorrow, darling." Martha says and then there's a crash in the background and Rick's mother ends their call. Shaking her head at the older woman's huff of exasperation, Kate laughs softly to herself before she clambers down from the stool and heads back to the tumult of the bullpen.
Richard Castle is deeply suspicious.
His wife is. . .giggly. Since she got home from the precinct this evening - earlier than usual, but she had no response to his lifted eyebrow - Kate has been smiling and laughing and dancing in the kitchen with him and their son. He doesn't understand it, but he's not about to complain.
He loves this woman, adores her in a kind of desperate way that makes him want to write poetry and proclaim it from the rooftops for the whole world to see, rip out his still-beating heart and search for her name carved there. If Kate is going to bubble over with delight, he's sure as hell going to join her.
They clear the table after dinner together and he's about to head for the living room where Mal seems to be concocting some sort of game that involves leaping from one end of the couch to the other when Kate's arms slide low down around his waist and her thighs kiss his.
Feeling his whole body go still, Rick stares down at her and concentrates as hard as he possibly can on not doing something utterly ridiculous like kissing her. "Kate?"
"Tomorrow, your mother is taking care of Mal all day." Rick opens his mouth to protest that or question it or something, but she's ploughing on right through him. "And you. . .are coming to the precinct with me."
"I am?" He gasps, feeling the corners of his mouth unravelling into a grin already. It's been such a very long time since he's gotten to spend the day at the precinct with the woman he loves, making her laugh with crazy theories and providing an endless supply of coffee and sneaking careful touches when he thinks no one is looking.
Kate shrugs, chewing on her bottom lip and gazing up at him from beneath the thick fringe of her eyelashes. God, he adores barefoot Kate. That was one of the first, previously unknown facets of her that he fell in love with when they initially got together. Her long and slender toes, the soft skin, the way it makes her slot so neatly underneath his chin.
"Well, when he starts preschool in January you're gonna be back there a couple days a week, right? So I figured we both should start getting used to it."
"Right. Good idea." He grins, leaning in to brush his mouth at her forehead just because he can and he wants to and her body is still so close against his, their skins flush together. And he's going to work with her tomorrow. He doesn't think he could possibly be more excited.
The last time he felt like this was probably when Marlow called him daddy for the first time. Kate is still smiling, her fingers warm and soothing as they drift up and down the chiseled edges of his spine. "I can't wait."
"You have no idea what it'll be like." He chuckles, teasing her. Immediately, he regrets bringing up her memory loss, but she doesn't seem at all bothered by it.
She laughs along with him, rolling her eyes at herself before she sobers and regards him with so much tenderness he thinks he could cry. Rick Castle is no idiot; he knows this look. But he's not saying anything, won't risk jeopardising the fragile wonder between the two of them.
"I can't imagine that spending the whole day with you could be bad." His wife shrugs, a smile flirting at the corners of her mouth.
Rick opens his mouth to say something, maybe warn her of just how annoying he can get at the precinct, but their son beats him to it.
"Mommy, watch me!" Marlow calls out and they both turn in time to see him launch himself from the arm of the couch into the belly of the armchair close by. Heart lurching down into his stomach, Rick strides through to the living room with Kate right behind him.
She reaches for their son and sits him down on the couch, kneels on the floor in front of him. "Mal, do not ever do that again."
"But Mommy." His little face crinkles up and he pouts, folding his arms. "It was so fun. I flied."
"You flew." Rick corrects on autopilot, sitting next to his son on the couch and settling a hand at his wife's shoulder. They're a team, in raising their son especially, and it has always been important to both of them to present a united front for Marlow. "Mal, my man, can you think why Mommy and I don't want you to do that again?"
"I get in trouble?" Their son frowns, looking to his mother for guidance.
Kate dusts a kiss to his knee, covered with the soft fabric of his pyjama pants, and cups his foot in her palm. "No baby. You could fall and get really hurt, and that wouldn't be any fun, would it?"
"I get hurt?" Mal murmurs, leaning sideways into Rick until his little cheek gets smushed against his father's bicep.
"That's right, sweet boy. And that would make you and me and Daddy all very sad. So if you want to do a fun game like that, you make sure that either me or Daddy is watching and ready to catch you. Okay?"
"Okay Mommy." Marlow grins down at her, impish, and Kate pushes up from the floor to gather their son in her arms and shower him with kisses. He wriggles and squirms and laughs, gleeful, and Rick intervenes with a large hand splayed at the boy's back to calm him.
"You are our most precious thing." Kate whispers to their baby boy, soothing him with her voice and the stroke of her hands at his cheek, his chubby little arm.
It still chokes Rick up, pathetically so, seeing Kate like this. When he first met her all those years ago, he had no idea how good it would grow to be between them. How they would become a team, first at the precinct, then in their marriage and then in the raising of this tiny, perfect little boy they made together.
Kate watches him from over top of Marlow's head and from the look on her face he wonders if she's feeling something similar. Not the same, of course. She was robbed of their journey, only gets to enjoy the destination, but she must get it.
Suddenly, excitement bubbles up inside of him again at the prospect of going to the precinct tomorrow. He's missed it terribly, the boys and his chair and Gates, even.
But mostly Kate. Always the most important. Kate.
By her usual standards, it's a slow day. A boring day, even, although Kate so loves the job that she can usually find something to occupy herself with, a cold case to go over again. Today though, her husband is here.
His chair has been beside her desk since she came back to work after her accident. In fact, she had had to ask Ryan why exactly there's an empty chair next to her, invading her workspace. Kevin had grinned and said that it's been there for so long it's become a permanent fixture.
And now Rick is filling it. The case she was working on yesterday is still going, but any progress they've made has been slow and torturous, as if they're wading through molasses in their search for some answers. Yesterday, it felt abysmal, as if the case and the day itself would never end.
But Rick is here. Offering her that smile that scrunches up around the corners of his eyes. Relaying her with updates that his mother texts about her day with Marlow. He even filled up the little bowl on her desk with Skittles, keeps feeding them to her when he thinks the boys aren't looking.
She's done for, really. If yesterday was bad, today is just ridiculous. She can't focus on the case at all, keeps getting distracted by just how good he looks sitting there in his chair with his button down shirt clinging tight to his biceps, the solid expanse of his chest.
Somehow, already, it's getting close to six. Kate has absolutely no idea what she's done with the day. From the murder board next to her desk it's obvious they haven't made a lot of progress with the case. Really all she's done is twist herself in knots, trying to work up the courage to say what she needs to say.
"Hey, Castle?" She says quietly, snagging his attention away from the notepad in his lap. "You've been really useful, today."
He scoffs, shaking his head, but it's true. Rick is a good reader, fast but meticulous, and so for much of the day he's been looking over the statements from the canvas the boys did in the area around their crime scene. He's picked up on things that Kate might not have done, especially in her current state of distraction.
"I mean it. So I was thinking. . .I guess the least I could do is buy you a burger." She feels so ridiculous, bashful even, and she can hardly look at him.
Her heart is pounding, her palms are clammy and she feels like she might actually topple right out of her chair and onto the ground at his feet. As she watches, something comes alight in his face and he grins wide, reaching out to tangle his fingers together with hers. "I accept."
"Great!" She beams, standing up and forcing her knees to lock. Rick follows suit and lifts her coat from the back of her chair, helps her into it. When his fingers skim along the back of her neck to free her hair from her collar she feels dizzy, steadying herself with a hand at his bicep.
Thankfully, he takes a few steps back from her and slides into his own coat, gives her a chance to fasten the buttons of her trench and wind the length of her scarf around her neck. For a moment she considers tugging on her gloves but she decides against it, leaving them in her pocket.
"I'll see you tomorrow, guys." She calls out to Ryan and Esposito and the two of them wave their goodbyes, lost in some computer game. They're waiting on the lab reports, but those won't be here until the morning, and Kate knows that her leaving will cue the boys to head home as well.
Kate walks with Rick to the elevator and once they're safely inside and away from prying eyes, she slides her hand into the cradle of his and shifts a half-step closer until the heat of his body comes up to meet her. The entire length of her willowy frame is thrumming with energy and awareness; she feels like she's either going to dissolve into giggles or tears.
It's such a disconcerting sensation, like she's lost all control of her limbs, and of course Rick notices. He doesn't comment further than a lifted eyebrow in her direction though, instead choosing to nudge his shoulder into hers and let a grin quirk the corner of his mouth. "So, where are you taking me for this hamburger?"
"Remy's okay with you?" Kate asks, chewing on her lip again. She's stupidly nervous, and really she needs to get a grip because her husband is a smart man, a sweet, goofy man, and he's going to figure it out if she can't just get a handle on her emotions.
"Sounds great."
Out on the street the air is cold, already starting to roll over into wintertime and Kate shivers. Halting them, Rick turns to face her and cups her face in his palms, sending warmth cascading through her instantly and then she's shivering harder but for an entirely different reason. "Are you cold?"
"I'm okay." She smiles at him, reaching up to card her fingers through his hair. They're getting stiff with the cold already, so when Rick drops his hands from her face to tangle up with hers she slides them both, hers and his, into the toasty warm depths of his coat pocket.
Her free hand goes into her own pocket and then she's fine, the sharp bite in the air just making her feel flushed and alive and delighted by absolutely everything. Remy's is only a couple blocks away and they walk together, long legs keeping stride easily with one another.
When they get inside the restaurant they find a booth in the back and nestle in close, both of them on the same side, sharing the bench seat. They shrug their way out of coats and scarves and pile everything on the seat opposite them, give their order to the skinny, lanky looking boy who introduces himself as their server.
Dinner passes quickly, most likely because Kate is so horrifically nervous about what comes next. They talk quietly, heads bent together and laughter flooding into the spaces between them. Once they're done eating and they've paid the bill, Kate slips her hand into Castle's again and grins up at him, leading him with her towards the door of the restaurant.
Out on the street, Rick looks to her for some clue as to what to do next and she offers him a shy smile, squeezes his fingers in hers. "Do you mind if we walk for a while?"
"Sure." He says back, his whole face so tender and gentle and Kate doesn't know how much longer she can keep it back. More than anything, she wants to see the look on his face.
They walk aimlessly, pointing out things of interest to each other. Rick weaves stories for the people they pass by and Kate joins in as best she can, managing to surprise him a couple times with the twists she throws in.
They make it to a park, a small section of greenery tucked away next to the meld of concrete and glass that is their city, and Kate tugs him with her along a path and to a bench, guides him down to sit with her. Turning to face him until her knees bump against his, Kate lays her arm along the back of the bench and brushes her fingertips against the sensitive skin at his neck, delighted when his eyes slip closed and he shifts a little closer into her touch.
With his eyes still closed, Rick lays his hand over her thigh and his thumb circles, distracting her enough that the words she had had right there waiting just behind the barrier of her teeth fall away and she can't do more than just breathe.
"Do you have any idea how gorgeous you are?" He says, voice thick with awe and something that might be disbelief.
God, he's so beautiful. "Rick. I love you."
His eyes pop open and he stares at her, fingers suddenly pressing harder into the flesh of her thigh. She can see the pulse jumping erratically in his neck and his jaw goes slack, his other hand trembling until he curls it into a fist and rests it at his knee. "Kate. . .you remember?"
"Oh." She huffs a breath. "No. No, I don't remember. But I love you, Rick. More than I ever could have imagined."
She's startled when a few tears slip free and skid down his cheeks but then he crashes into her, their faces aligned at forehead and nose and she can already taste him, joy and relief and adoration all rolling over her in waves. "Kate. Kate. You love me. God, I never thought I'd hear you say that again."
"I'll say it whenever you like." She laughs, tipping her chin up to catch his mouth. It's brief, just a glance of her lips off of his, but it's the very first time she can remember kissing him where neither of them has felt guilty or bad about it. No. It's just wonderful. "I love you."
And then his mouth is slanting over hers, his tongue slick and hot inside of her mouth and she gasps, fists a hand in the collar of his shirt and palms the back of his head with the other to drag him even closer to her. It feels amazing, better than she possibly could have imagined. The kissing, yes, but also the sheer relief of having said those words out loud to him. It feels good and right, as if her world has finally been set straight again after so long being just slightly off kilter. Rick's hands come to frame her face and he wrenches his mouth away from hers to stare at her, his chest heaving.
"I love you too, by the way. You're gorgeous and extraordinary and my wife." He shakes his head in disbelief, and the laugh he lets out is almost childlike in its jubilation. "I thought you'd never be able to love me again."
"No, Rick." Kate soothes, her thumbs brushing over his cheeks, underneath his eyes to erase his tears. Leaning in again, Kate kisses him because it's her new favourite thing in the world and she never wants to stop. "How could I not have fallen for you again? You've been so incredibly good to me."
His mouth is warm underneath hers, his lips soft and gentle and his hands and oh god, she can feel the delicious spirals of desperate need winding up her spine and through her ribs, her whole body tight with how much she wants him.
When Rick pulls back this time he grins at her, a little sheepish, absent-mindedly stroking a fingertip back and forth along her cheekbone. And then he leers, and her heart races, and he tilts his head to look at her intently. "You know, Kate. . .my mother texted me earlier and said she was gonna bring Mal to her place for a sleepover tonight. So the loft is going to be empty."
"Oh really?" She lifts an eyebrow at him, leaning in to drop a burst of a kiss against his mouth before she pulls back and grins, wide enough that her cheeks ache with it. "Well then, what are we waiting for?"
It's a little embarrassing, sure, that Rick's mother seems to have figured out exactly what's going on here. Or at least enough that she knows to give them the loft to themselves for the night. But Kate can't actually seem to care at all.
All she cares about is her husband, and getting his naked body in close proximity to hers as fast as they possibly can. Rick tugs her up from the bench with him and pauses to steal a long and devastating kiss from her mouth, his hand slipping down to palm her ass and drag her hips against his, before he steps back and grabs for her hand again.
"Let's find a cab. Now."