Disclaimer: I own nothing other than my creative license to bend this story how I see fit! ;)
The entire ride to the Hospital is made in silent. Christian is so nervous and tense, I don't really know what to do.
I feel nervous too. Elliot is Kate's boyfriend and she really likes him. I think she might even love him.
Poor Kate...And poor Christian. He really likes Elliot too. They get along great. Oh god, I hope he's ok...
We arrive at the Hospital and Christian is a wreck. He's ordering people around, yelling and fuming at their incompetence. I try to calm him down but he's so rallied up I'm a bit scared of him.
Finally we manage to find Kate and she's a mess. She's been crying for hours, I'm sure. As soon as she sees me she jumps into my arms and starts sobbing uncontrollably.
I've never seen her this scared before. My heart is crying for her.
"Kate, where's my brother?"
Christian's voice is pure ice. I know he's worried but seeing him push everyone away because of his own pain, hurts me more than I want to admit.
I wish he could just seek comfort in my arms, like Kate is doing. Instead he's completely closed of. I feel bad for him...
"H-He's still in surgery...*snif*...No one is telling me anything! I'm losing my mind!"
She cries out and continues sobbing in my neck. Poor Kate, she really loves him.
"This is bullshit!"
Christian yells and storms out, into the restricted area and starts yelling at everyone. I look at Taylor and I can see he's trying really hard to keep Christian in check, but to no good. He'll do his own thing now.
After a few minutes, a surgeon comes to talk to us. Apparently Elliot suffered from a heart defect and with the accumulation of stress, he collapsed. The surgery went on perfectly and he should make a full recovery. That is a relief.
Although I know we will all feel a lot better once Elliot is up and making jokes as usual...
"Oh Ana. I just want to see him"
Kate whispers into my ear and I have no idea what to do. Elliot just got out of surgery so he'll be in recovery for at least 24 hours, since it was a serious surgery. I know she needs to see him but all we can do now is wait...
"When can we see him?"
Christian steps in, his voice all demanding and powerful. The surgeon takes a small step back and I see a small grin starting to form in Christian's face. I bet he's used to have this effect on people.
Personally, I'm not loving this side of him. He's scaring the holy jesus out of me.
"I'm sorry, but we need to keep him under surveillance for the next 24 hours. After that, if he recovers as we expect, you can go and visit him. But I assure you, he will be fine. You just need to be a little patient"
Christian scowls at the poor surgeon and I can't help but stare at him. I'm getting annoyed by his lack of control and petty behaviour.
I know he's hurting, but so is Kate. And she's not making everyone's life a living hell by acting like a petulant child.
"Thank you. Please, make sure he's taken care of. And try to keep updating us on his condition"
I try to reason with the surgeon. He nods and walks away, probably glad to not have to deal with Mr. Man Child over here.
"Christian, please try to calm down. You're not doing any of us any good by acting out like that"
My voice is calm and collected, I don't want to upset him more than necessary.
"Anastasia, that's my brother in there. I won't calm the fuck down because I can't see him and I have no idea if he's going to be ok. So stop worrying about how I'm acting and take care of yourself and Kate. I don't need anyone telling me what to do or how to fucking do it thank you very much."
He's getting snippy with me and I'm over it. If he wants to be an ungrateful brat so be it. I don't need to be told twice I'm not needed. I turn to Kate and start consoling her again. She's getting calmer but she's still crying.
I hate to see her cry. She's the strongest person I know, she rarely cries. For her to be sobbing like this means that she really loves Elliot. She won't make it if he doesn't. I need to take care of her.
"Kate, maybe we should go eat something. They won't come back with news for a while now. Is that ok?"
"Y-Yeah. I guess that's fine"
"Ok. We'll go get something to eat. We won't be long"
I'm still mad at Christian for being such an asshole to me, so I decide to speak only to Taylor. He nods and looks a bit uncomfortable being stuck in the position of messenger.
But I have to shrug it off. Kate needs me and I intend to help her every way I can.
We get up and make our way into the Cafeteria. I sense Christian's eyes on me, but I don't care. He can go cry in Taylor's shoulders for all I care...
"Ana, I can't live without him...I...I love him so much"
Kate's voice is barely a whisper. This isn't my friend. The fierce force of nature that concquers anything she sets her brilliant mind to. She's broken. She's in love and suffering for it.
"Kate, he'll be fine. You can't assume the worse. He's in there, fighting to get better for you. You'll be in his arms in no time you'll see"
I stroke her hands and try to enfuse her with some form of hope and reassurance that everything will be fine, eben though I know just how messy a heart surgery can get. That's how my birth father died, he didn't make it...
"You're right. I have to be strong. Elliot would have my ass if he saw me like this. Thank you Ana, I'm really happy to have you in my life."
"Me too Kate. And yes, he would!"
We giggle together, and for a split second is like nothing has happened and we're just two girls having a good time. I miss those days. The carefree days, when our only concern was what ind of wine to pair with the gigantic pizza we ordered...
"I called Grace. His mother. She's also a doctor and she'll be here as fast as she can. Once she sees him I can relax. I trust her"
"Wow. You've met her already?"
"Yeah. She's pretty awesome. And his father too. Carrick, he's a lawyer and a very sweet man. They have a daughter too. Mia. She's a firecracker that one. Elliot loves her so much. Christian too. He's just a little uptight"
"Yeah. He's got a lot hidden behind the good looks. I'm not sure I want to get to know him after all"
"What? Why Ana? You love him...Or loved...I'm sorry. I know you hate when I talk about before but it's true. You were completely head over heels with him. I actually thought you would elope and just get married in Vegas or something"
"What? Me? Marrying in Vegas? Marrying at all? Come on Kate, you know me better than anyone. Marriage is not a personal dream of mine. And imagining spending the rest of my life with Christian...well, let's just say I'm not entirely sure that would be a great idea"
"What happened? As he done anything? Because I can kick his ass right now if you want me too!"
"No, calm down you crazy woman. He's just too complicated. He's too unstable. Before you called we were having a very emotional moment. Now, I'm scared to even talk to him, let alone touch him. He's so pissed and out of control I'm scared to be around him. He scares me."
"He's a very intense person, I guess you already know that. He just deals with things in a different way. I know it's bad for you trying to keep up with his mood swings. And honestly, if Elliot was here, he would tell you to give him hell for it. But you have to be the one to find out how to deal with Christian. In good and bad times alike. If you want him in your life, you need yo embrace all his facets."
"Why are you so defensive of Christian? I thought you didn't like him..."
"I'm not his biggest fan, that's for sure. But I was the one to see him completely broken, when you were sleeping. He was a mess. I saw love in his eyes, real love. So I guess I'm a sucker for a happy ending. Sue me!"
"Ok ok. I get it. I don't know. et's just wait for Elliot to wake up. Then I'll think about everything else"
With that we make our way back into the waiting room. Christian is in there, his head hanging in his shaky hands, resting on his knees. I want to soothe him so bad. But I restrain myself. I don't want him to snap at me again.
I take a seat, between him and Kate. I can see tears running down his hands and my heart is now bleeding for him. He's such a strong man, to see him crying and feeling hopeless like this just breaks my heart into a million pieces. If only he wasn't such a thick head, I could be helping him right now...
"Ana, do something. Show him you care"
Kate whispers into my ear and I can see the worried look on her face. She cares for her lover's brother. And so do I. But I'm scared of what he might do. I have to try though. I owe it to Elliot and myself to try and calm Christian down.
I don't really know where to touch him so I settle for the shoulders. I place my hand on his left shoulder and I feel him twitch. I'm preparing to be slapped away or yelled at.
That doesn't happen.
Instead, I feel him relax. After wiping away the remainder of his tears with his sleeves, he rises up and turns to me, placing his hand on my knee. He stares into my eyes for a few seconds, and without a warning, places his head in my right shoulder and breathes into my neck. It feels so good having him there, I almost forget we're in a freaking Hospital...
"I'm sorry. I was a jerk to you. I'm really sorry Ana. I just don't know what to do. I'm scared"
The fear in his whispering voice causes such an emotional response to my entire body I have to try harder not to start sobbing this instant. Instead, I choose to calm him down and start stroking his hair. I think he likes it...
"It's ok. Don't worry. Elliot will be just fine"
I can feel him relax almost entirely under my touch. He was really tense. Poor man, always so controlled and in check with his emotions, that now he has no freaking clue what to do with himself...
"I love you Ana. I need you. More than anything in the world. I need you. Don't leave me. Don't give up on me please"
He whispers in my neck, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me closer to him. I fight the impulse to jump into his lap. Don't know why that was my first response though...
"I'm not going anywhere. It's ok Christian. I'm here. I won't leave you."
He kisses my neck and that is enough to ignite the fire burning in my very core. How is it possible for this man to arouse me so easily in such a sad surrounding?
"I know it seems wrong, but I would take you now if I could. I'm completely powerless Ana. You've stripped me bare. I can't function without you in my life anymore. All I want is you. All the time. It's insane"
"I was feeling the same. Is it wrong to want to kiss you now?"
He doesn't respond.
Instead he does what we both were needing for a long time. He pulls me even closer and kisses me hard. It's like a freaking exorcism. We're releasing our bodies from our demons, by showing how much we crave for one another. After we're done, we need a few seconds to catch our breaths.
And suddenly I'm hit with an enormous feeling of shame!
Here I am kissing the man of my dreams, while Kate is hurting for her own dreamy guy. Some friend you are Anastasia!