Thank you, Lady of Silentia, for the language revisions - precise as always!

Important notes:

Firstly, many thanks to all my dearest reviewers! I just love your comments - they are inspiring and very encouraging. Keep them coming! ;)

Secondly, as I indicated in the First Interlude, this chapter belongs to a different timeline, it is a flashback.

Thirdly, I had a really hard time as I was trying to paste some part of the lyrics of "Sad but True" here because this whole song inspired me to write the first part of this chapter. Well, if you know this song, you would agree…

And a very important note – this is written from Loki's point of view and I chose to refer to him as Leonard, because he alone refers to himself as such.

And now, finally – enjoy!

Chapter 5: The Second Interlude

Hey
I'm your life
I'm the one who takes you there

Hey
I'm your life
I'm the one who cares

They
They betray
I'm your only true friend now

They
They'll betray
I'm forever there…

I'm your dream, mind astray
I'm your eyes while you're away
I'm your pain while you repay
You know it's sad but true…

I'm your truth, telling lies
I'm your reasoned alibis
I'm inside, open your eyes

I'm you!

(Metallica; Sad but True)

Maybe I should write that one down, too. Leonard mused when he observed the hand of Professor Hudson breaking another chalk as he was trying to present another complex equation to the auditorium. Leonard studied the symbols on the board for a moment.

Nah!

Before Mr. Hudson was able to lift the broken chalk, Leonard managed to complete the equation in his book himself. Then he looked around the lecture room and reconsidered attending this lecture again. They say almost nothing more than is written in the textbooks. I could have stayed at the dorm and learned much more by myself… He enjoyed the life at the MIT campus so far, but he was slowly realizing that some of the lectures in his schedule were just a pain.

He checked briefly on the text he had written so far. Just three short notes after an hour of the lecture. Is it enough? He asked himself as he saw a student in a row beneath filling the second page with tiny, dense handwriting. He rested his head in his hand and sighed.

Not that the lecture was not interesting itself, but Professor Hudson should definitely work on the way he was giving the speech.

So boring…

Leonard felt sleepy although there was no reason. He felt as though each of the dull sentences was gradually sucking away the last bits of his energy.

He wiped his eyes slowly and rested his head on the desk. He trailed his pen to the lower corner of the page, where he drew a few lines. Then he put the pen down and folded his arms under his forehead.

It's coming again.

Leonard felt that unavoidable moment approaching him. He sensed that his mind would betray him once again. It would lead him, on the wave of associations, to those feared thoughts. Those thoughts.

At the time he had lived with Mike and Julie, when he had worked at the docks, he had no time for thinking. He had had no time for himself. But now it was different. Living at the college, suddenly he had lots of time, even if he chose so many subjects, even if he learned, even if he worked on the weekends. Still, there was a quantum of time he had to spend alone, just him and his mind.

And so it happened. There was no use. His thoughts reached him, hit him unprepared. Exactly the same way as the last week, when he had walked back to the dorm, crossing the park in the evening. He had won the battle that time, but probably just because of his roommate, that strange, silent person, who was passing by. Leonard had promised himself then that he would never let it happen again. However, it seemed he was not the one to decide.

So, it's coming again… That fierce battle against someone in his head. That concentrated feeling of hatred trying to take over.

What are you doing here? The well-known, tiny voice sounded.

No doubt, this is it. Time to get ready. Leonard inhaled deeply and leaned his forehead against the desk and covered his head with his arms.

I learn. He answered his thoughts calmly.

And what for? Do you think you really need it? The voice insisted mockingly.

I don't know yet. We'll see. But don't be afraid, I can make some use of it.

That's ridiculous! The voice spat.

No, it's not. He sighed. Come on, Leonard! He tried to encourage himself as he clutched his fingers.

What? The voice changed into a poisonous laughter. What are you pretending now? This is not your name! It belongs to someone else.

A little correction – it belonged. Now it's mine. Leonard objected, attempting to suppress all the emotions.

Oh, dear. You're so pathetic… it's almost disgusting. The voice retorted, gaining intensity with each venomous sentence. Can't you see? You're just a substitute, a mere shadow, and you know it. Why would they invite you, anyway? Why would they care, why would they help you? Because when they look at you, they see him, the other one they'd lost. They pretend to love you, but deep inside you're just a memory of their dead son. It's him they have loved, not you; it's him they have cared about all this time, not you!

Enough! Leonard cried out inside. And breathed. Time to continue. If you know that much about me and the others, tell me, who am I? You know my real name, don't you? And who are you?

The voice snorted a short laugh of contempt. Of course I know who you were, of course I know what your name was… but I'm afraid I'm not here to tell you, dear. And who am I? The laughter sounded again. Do you really want to know? Don't you remember what I told you last time? I am the one in the shadows. The darkness. The nightmare. Your nightmare. Don't you forget, sweetheart. It still stands. The annoying voice announced, sounding satisfied.

Tell me something I don't know. Leonard retorted disdainfully. You don't need to hide behind empty metaphors.

No? And what should I do, then? I can't do anything else, and you don't have any right to blame me. I only do what you do. I lie, I hide and I pretend. For I… the voice changed into a sweat, sticky but the more terrifying whisper. I am you.

Leonard waited a moment, weighing the words he had just heard. Should he be shocked and terrified? Perhaps. But he absolutely must not let it show. Instead, he just smiled. Very well, my dear, he answered. Challenge accepted. But see, you spilled a very valuable information here. Now I know what I'm going to do with you.

The tiny voice spluttered and laughed coldly. What? No, my dear, you can't do anything. I am the last one you have left. It declared and became quieter as it changed into that well-known, menacing whisper again, giving emphasis to deliberately chosen words that pierced Leonard's very soul. Listen to me now. Everyone, everyone who pretends to care has someone else in their mind in fact. And you? You can't even tell what your roommate is like. You don't know anyone here. You're lonely again, darling, so very lonely. Just as I am. But you see, you are never really alone. Not as long as I am here. And I am always here, right here. So it's not just you alone. It's you and me. Do not ignore me, do not cover your ears, it won't help you! It's just us, YOU and ME, forever and always. Do you hear me? It screamed, and Leonard could feel the poison flowing through his veins.

But that's not true. Leonard tried, his own inner voice quiet and weak.

Oh, isn't it? The other one wondered.

No, it's not. Leonard replied, gathering more confidence. What about Lena and Daniel? They almost hadn't known their brother. They see me, not him. Leonard tried to focus his thoughts on Mike's and Julie's children, his new "siblings". The only people he was sure they took him as he was.

They just behave like their parents. Nothing more. The voice spat back and ran though his flesh, sharp and cold like an icicle.

Leonard clenched his teeth, his mind searching like insane for something known, something familiar and definite, something comforting, warm and bright. But his memories were restricted from him, still held behind that impassable wall. No, there's no use. He knew he had to look at the present, not the past, for there was nothing to comfort him or help him in any way. There was only that. The only thing he could be sure he would find there. That creature residing in his mind. His only reminder he had existed ever before.

He felt almost desperate, the world around him fading into blackness. He choked, the sickness becoming more and more physical. But then, when he almost gave in, he remembered something.

Someone.

Someone who had no memories as well. Someone whose mind was blank, waiting to be filled and painted in colors. Someone who was still not fully aware of the world around. Someone who hid the power in weakness. The youngest child. The one who was born three months ago. The one he had had the privilege to give a name.

Anya.

He remembered the moment he had held her in his arms for the first time. Such a tiny, little thing. She had been weak, powerless, and reliant, a mere sleeping something. But everyone loved her. They loved her just because she was, there needn't have to be any other reason. Everyone had fallen in love with her and had been saying she was beautiful. And yes, she was.

But Leonard had been thinking about something different at that time. He was amazed at how her defenselessness made him defenseless. Could this be true? Is it possible for one to be the most powerful when they're the most defenless? Could it be the reason to love someone? Maybe. And maybe that's the hidden power in everyone. But what about me? He asked himself. However, there was no one to answer him.

He's gone. Leonard sighed in relief. See, Anya, just the thought of you won this battle for me. He smiled. And you'll never know.

Quiet.

The endless silence at last.

Leonard laughed, and relaxed as the head-ache weakened.

Just the short remembrance had the power to bring back that feeling. New and different, almost like his body had never been used to it. That strange warmth arising from his very core.

He had not believed anyone at the beginning. He'd been certain that if he had entrusted someone else than himself, it would make him weak. However, to his great surprise, that exactly gave him the power. The power to fight and overcome the loneliness, and now the other one in his mind. The power to return back to something that was buried deep inside.

He breathed out. Stay where you are and never come back. Never. But he knew that this thought was just a mere wish. Leonard knew the other one will return one day… But not now, not today. He was free again.

Finally, he took his pen and continued the drawing. He saw it already. It will turn into the Little Prince, anyway. Again. But not with the sabre this time, he decided and drew the beloved rose into the small hand of the tiny figure.

The world around him started to rise slowly from nothingness. But there was something that disturbed him. It sounded like white noise at the beginning, but then he found out. It was coming from someone's headphones. And that rustle… what was it? He looked around and discovered the source of it. Obviously, it was one of his schoolmates, sitting next to him.

The man was dressed all in black, what actually contrasted with his looks. He was a strong and tall Nordic: his hair, eyebrows, and beard blonde. Even though his figure looked impressive, it appeared a bit comical at the moment, for he didn't seem to know how exactly to get into a comfortable position in his seat. His hair was straight, a bit wavy at the ends, and at least reached his waist. The front tresses were bound together at the back of his head, so they wouldn't fall in his face. Leonard made an internal note to himself that this was certainly a person with the longest hair he had ever seen.

The man seemed he had completely given up listening to the lecture as he was reading a newspaper, had headphones in his ears, and was eating a sandwich. No, eating was not the right word. It was more like feeding the wild animal. Leonard recalled meeting several people of this type on the campus and he had not found them interesting in any way. But this was different. Some details were disturbing – Leonard thought that such long and clean fingers did not fit this person at all…

But in general, for some reason, it felt familiar.

So incredibly familiar.

Despite living this new life for several months now, and despite already getting used to it, Leonard still felt very distant. He just didn't belong, so he was searching, looking for something that would remind him who he used to be. And if not, then at least he wanted to find something familiar, something that was not completely new and unknown to him. And this person, since a very long time, belonged to those familiar things. Although Leonard was not able to tell why.

The man apparently realized he was being watched and gazed back at Leonard. His eyes were the color of a deep ocean. He frowned.

"What?" he spoke in a deep voice, somewhat louder than needed. When the answer did not come, he removed the headphones. "Got a problem?"

"Not at all." Leonard answered, somewhat amused.

"Then what are you gaping at?" The other one asked, watching Leonard cautiously.

"Nothing. I just wondered what makes you stay here since you are not taking any notes. You're not even listening." Leonard explained, unoffended.

The blonde just stared at first, but then grinned and looked into Leonard's book. "But it seems you haven't written much more, have you?"

"I am just sorting the information; making an outline. I can remember the rest." Leonard shrugged.

"Sure." The blonde's smirk was full of sarcasm. "And what sort of wave-function is this?" he asked and pointed at the drawing in Leonard's book.

Leonard felt a bit taken aback now. "It's a… " his look slid to the front section of the lecture hall, and he realized that professor Hudson had meanwhile exchanged the chalk for the data-projector and showed the students different states of the wave-function and related atomic orbitals. "It's a very complex one." Leonard answered finally.

Professor Hudson suddenly coughed and looked menacingly in their direction.

"I'm sorry I just got lost in thoughts for a moment and... needed to ask my colleague about the thing I missed." Leonard made excuse and displayed an apologetic smile.

"In case you have forgotten, I am the teacher here, Mr. Wednesday. The next time you feel lost, please, ask me." The professor bristled up.

"Of course." Leonard answered calmly, but did not forget to put a portion of mockery into his otherwise perfectly polite tone. The professor seemed to have caught the hint and stared for a moment, but then turned back to the audience and resumed his talk.

"You have angered the Toad." The blonde colleague noted quietly, hodling the sandwich before his mouth.

Leonard chuckled to himself. The nickname was quite fitting. "Seems so." he said in alow voice. "I'm sorry I've been watching you like that, but… I thought I knew you. Is it possible we have met somewhere before?" he asked with a spark of hope.

"At another lecture..?" the other man suggested, raising one eyebrow, his mouth full.

"No. I mean before. In the past." Leonard insisted.

"I doubt it."

"I see." Leonard answered quietly, the hope turning into disappointment.

The blonde swallowed and after a while he put down the newspaper, rubbed his eyes and sighed. Then he spoke again. "I really tried to pay some attention, you know. But I'm afraid my intelligence circuits appear to have melted already." He stretched his arms and yawned.

"What?" Leonard asked, smiling, as he stood his book in front of him and laid his head on the desk, looking at the other man.

"Red Dwarf." The colleague explained as he straightened his back. "A british sit-com. You don't know it?"

"Not really, no."

"Come on! Dave Lister, Cat..?" the blonde viewed him, curious, and took another bite.

"Um... No. Still nothing."

"Pity." The blonde mumbled and grabbed the newspaper.

But before he could put the headphones back, Leonard leaned over again. "What's Megadeth?" he read the sign on the other man's t-shirt carefully.

The blonde man swallowed and looked back, tilting his head in disbelief. He snorted. "You want to piss me of or what?"

"No, I'd never." opposed Leonard.

"So what's going on?" the blonde frowned again. "You know Metallica, do you?"

Leonard smiled apologetically. "I'm... no."

"That's incredible." The blonde puffed once more. "Are we actually living on the same planet?"

"I though so a while ago. Now I'm not sure anymore." Leonard answered, smiling lightly.

"You're a strange one, aren't ya?" The blonde colleague laughed. "You know what? Your cultural knowledge is terrible, but I think I like you." His eyes became a bit more cheerful. He took a bite. "Well, I presume you live at the college?" he muttered.

"I do. Why?"

"You see - " the blonde waited and swallowed. "I'm planning to move. I found quite a suitable appartment today, but I will require one or two people more."

"And you mean me?" Leonard asked, raising a brow.

"No, that person behind you." The other one waved his hand, frowning.

Leonard smiled. "But you don't know me at all."

"Doesn't matter. Look, I really want to get out of the dorm, okay? So, what do you say?"

"I guess I can go and take a look at least." Leonard shrugged. "My roommate is here as well, maybe I can persuade him to go with us. But it depends on the price, I think."

"It would be much cheaper than the dorm if there were three."

"Interesting." Leonard admitted. "If it's true I think we can arrange something. My roommate is over there, in the firing line as always." He pointed with his chin at the very front row. "That Japanese."

"The one with the gel-sculpture on his head?" The blonde asked, his eyebrows climbing up.

Leonard could not fight a light chuckle. "Yeah, that's Shiro-san."

The blonde man grinned. "Sorry, but… he must take his time in the bathroom each morning, right?"

"Sometimes." Leonard answered. "But he's away most of the time, coming late at night or not at all. I suspect him of being a vampire."

The aforementioned man from the first row turned around as if he was able to sense he was being discussed. His black hair with blue strands was partly covering his ethereal face, revealing fully just one eye underlined with a black contour pen. He grinned and gestured the sign of the horns, black enamel gleaming on his nails. Leonard could not tell the meaning of this gesture, but since his roommate had been using it nearly every time they met, he decided to take it as a kind of greeting.

"Heavy-metal forever, bro." The blonde answered and grinned as he returned the gesture. Then he turned back to Leonard. "How can you live with this kind of person and not know about Megadeth? I understand you don't know him much?" he asked, darting a curious look.

"He keeps to himself most of the time. I only know he's from Boston and studied at the Berklee College of Music before." Leonard answered casually but the blonde became quite excited on the last note.

"No way!" The blue eyes widened. "What instrument?"

"Drums." Leonard said, rubbing at his dark eyebrow.

The blonde chuckled. "Annoyed?" he asked.

"Not really." Leonard sighed in response. "I think he's too polite to practice intentionally in my presence, but still, I have to hide all the pencils from him."

"What?"

"I think he stopped realizing it, but he's actually practicing all the time."

The blonde guffawed.

"You find something amusing up there?" professor Hudson asked angrily.

"No, no, no, I'm sorry." The blonde tried to answer, fighting back the chuckles, "Please, go on with the talk, you're doing great!"

The professor shook his head in disbelief and returned to his lecture.

The blonde sighed as he dug into the uncomfortable seat and leaned his head against the backrest. "I think I like your roommate as well." He said.

"In fact it's not that much fun, you know." Leonard stated when his colleague managed to calm down.

"I trust you, but I have some understanding." The blonde answered, looking at the ceiling, and sighed deeply. "I was trying it at Berklee, too."

"Please don't say it's drums…"

The blonde laughed. "Have no fear. Guitar is my love." he added more silently.

"So… what are you doing at MIT?"

"I was actually doing quite well, I think, but was fired after an…" he coughed, "…incident."

"Incident?" Leonard asked, curious.

"Yeah. Had a rather heated argument with a guy who had been really annoying. And very slow-witted at the same time. So I had to use other than verbal means to explain my arguments to him, you know. I was drunk in addition, so… Yeah." He was hitting his thigh as he spoke, as if trying to punish himself.

"Oh."

"Don't be afraid, I'm not a violent person." The blonde turned to Leonard, grinning, his eyes cheerful again. "I like my comfort, you know. It must be something really disturbing to provoke me. But once it happens, it can turn into a real mess. Like back then." he stopped for a moment, looking down at his hands. "So, I ended up here."

"Interesting. There are not many people who can say they actually ended up here."

"Huh. That's probably true." the blonde colleague let out an annoyed sigh. "My parents wanted me to study something… How did they call it? Um, with better prospects." he pretended to remember suddenly. "Our family friend is working at the department here so she pulled a few strings and… Here I am." He brushed a thumb over his eyelid. "I was always good at math and science but I'm no genius. I'm sure I'm gonna just lose a year here, that's all."

"Gentlemen up there, honestly, I can see I am disturbing you. Would you maybe consider leaving this lecture, so you can discuss your problems properly?" Professor Hudson asked them, looking really annoyed this time.

The blonde snorted as he stood up, packing his things. "Maybe you should consider changing from the thirty-years-old clothes you're wearing." He muttered. "Are you coming, too?" he asked Leonard.

"I am sorry?" the professor faltered, apparently not overhearing the note.

"Eh…" the blonde turned to Leonard. "Sorry, man, I think I've just prepared a hard time for us at the exam." He whispered. Then, as soon as he got out of the row, he turned in professor's direction. "Sorry, meant no offense." he uttered, bowed his head slightly and raised his hand in apology.

Leonard had to chew on his lower lip to hide his grin as he packed his book. Then he cleared his throat, making his way out. "Excuse my colleague, Professor Hudson, as he is in a very bad mood. I am sure he did not mean it." He said when he left the row, using the softest voice he could.

However, no matter the excuses, they both could feel Professor Hudson's glare burning on their backs. No wonder they were glad they finally reached the exit. And as soon as the door closed behind them they could no longer fight the chuckles that had threatened their throats all the way out.

Before they could calm down the door opened again, and the young Japanese stepped out.

"Shiro-san! Long time no see." Leonard greeted him, trying to look composed again.

"Gome, I know. Man, my head is still aching…" Shiro answered in a coarse voice and stretched, running hands through his hair. "The boredom was terrifying, wasn't it? I'm afraid I might have fallen asleep a few times." He looked worn out as he squinted around the shadowy corridor. "Who's this guy?" he asked, rolling his eyes in the blonde one's direction.

"Uh - " Leonard frowned slightly, his hand rising to gesture at his new friend. "Actually... I don't know." Leonard answered sincerely and grinned again.

The tall blonde cracked a smile at that. "Sorry mate, I haven't introduced myself yet. Bret Larsson, my name." He spoke almost solemnly and bowed deeply, his long hair wiping the ground.

"Leonard Wednesday. Nice to meet you, Bret." Said Leonard when the blonde straightened again. The latter took his hand and squeezed it so hard it made Leonard wince.

The same situation repeated when the Japanese introduced himself as "Nakamune, Shiro".

Shiro and Leonard looked at each other, shaking their hands off and wincing with pain, but Bret just turned around, not noticing.

"I think we should start with a beer, what do you say?" he just asked merrily as he walked down the stairs.