A/N- Midterms are over! But I broke my foot. Haha. It never ends, does it? I have some ideas, but keep letting me know what you think. I obviously am not going to closely chronicle the next thirty years, so let me know particular scenes/times you want to see. I'm thinking of sticking close for a while, then skipping ahead a few years. Not many! Don't worry.
"I've been in love with love/
And the idea of something binding us together."
-The Mowgli's, San Francisco
Sharon poured hot water into a mug and poured instant coffee granules over it. She watched them swirl down in umber twists. After a moment, she stirred it with a spoon, then sipped it. It was too strong and bitter, but she drank it anyways. She turned back to the stove and stirred the cereal.
After a while, she could hear Ricky moving about. Even his slight weight caused the floorboards to creak. She turned the burner down and walked away to go and get Cat. The baby usually woke when Ricky did.
Sure enough, she could hear soft squealing as she walked down the hall. The door was cracked, so she pushed it the rest of the way open and leaned against the door-frame. Ricky was standing by the crib, tickling his sister's palm with his fingers. Her eyes were wide, and she was cooing at him. Where Ricky had taken after Jack, Cat seemed a little more like her mother. Her eyes were settling into a light green and her hair was dark tawny.
"Hey, Ricky."
"Mama! She smiled at me!" Ricky glanced back at her with a grin.
Sharon smiled faintly. "Is that so?"
"Mmhmm." He turned back to Cat, but she was starting to cry. "What's wrong?"
"She's just hungry, I think. Go get dressed and get out to the table. I heave breakfast ready." Sharon stepped in and picked Cat up. She changed the girl's diaper and dressed her in clean clothes as Ricky did the same in his room.
Sharon unbuttoned her nightgown to let Cat nurse. She realized she had never changed out of the clothes she had thrown on in the middle of the night. She had simply grabbed a pair of jeans and half-tucked her nightgown into it. She wrinkled her nose slightly as she realized she still smelled slightly smoky. She shook her head and carried Cat out to the kitchen. Ricky was already sitting at his chair, fumbling with the buttons on his blue school polo. She held Cat tight with one arm and served Ricky with her free hand.
"Can I have brown sugar?"
"May I have brown sugar, please?"
"Please?"
"Yes, you may." She pulled the tupperware container out of the cabinet and held it out to Ricky. He took it and spooned some over his bowl.
"Where's Dad?"
She froze next to the stovetop. "Um..."
"Is he at work, again?"
"Sort of." She hadn't considered how to explain it to Ricky. "He has to go away for a little while for work."
"Oh." Ricky didn't sound surprised, merely resigned. He looked up again. "What did you do to your face?"
"Don't talk with a full mouth," she said absently. "It was an accident, that's all."
"Oh. Do you want my boo-boo bear?" He had a velveteen pouch that looked like a bear and held small icepacks.
"Oh, baby," she sighed. "I'm afraid we're past the ice stage. And it doesn't hurt at all." The second lie of the day, and it wasn't even eight in the morning.
"Okay. Are you taking me to school?"
"Yes, I am." She ducked into the laundry room and picked a dishrag out of the dryer, throwing it over her shoulder. She burped Cat as she walked back into the kitchen. "Can you get your school things together?"
"By myself?"
"Mmhmm."
"Yeah."
She finished with Cat and took the baby back to her crib. "Wait here," she murmured. She ducked back into her room and peeled her nightclothes off. She paused, looking in the mirror. There were faint shadows on her arms where Jack's fingers had left their marks. She growled in frustration and ripped a long-sleeved blouse from its hanger. She pulled a clean set of jeans out of the dresser and pulled them on, too. They were a little tight and that fact only furthered her dark mood. She combed her hair out and pulled it into a low ponytail and swept on her mascara. She didn't feel like doing anything else.
She went back to Cat's room, picked up the floral diaper bag and Cat herself. The baby carrier was by the front door. She settled Cat in the seat and threw a small blanket over the handle.
"Ricky? Are you coming?"
He rocketed down the hall, backpack bouncing on hit shoulders. He dropped to the floor and began pulling his shoes on, clumsily knotting the laces. He stood again when he was done, and they walked out the door together.
When she reached St. Joseph's fifteen minutes later, she parked and wrestled Cat's seat out of the car. Ricky took her hand, and they crossed the road to the school. He practically dragged her up the stairs, and she laughed to herself. In a few years he wouldn't be nearly so excited, she thought.
Despite the early hour, the halls were already filled with kids and some parents. There were green and red paper chains hanging from the ceilings and walls. Advent would be starting soon, and even more decoration would go up on the walls. Sharon let Ricky go as they reached his classroom, and he ran in ahead of her.
"Sharon!"
She turned, and found herself being crushed by Marcia Welsh.
"I haven't seen you since Cat was born! How are you? How is she?" Without waiting for an answer, Marcia flipped the blanket back and smiled at the baby. "She's beautiful, Sharon."
Cat looked as stunned as a baby could, mouth half-open and hands reaching for Marcia's wild curls.
"She's so much better than Ricky was," Sharon said, smiling at her friend's enthusiasm. "She sleeps better, she's quieter, she's better behaved."
Marcia laughed. "That's how it goes. I bet you Ricky will teach her some things when they're older, though," The woman untangled her hair from Cat's fingers and straightened. "But really, how are you?" She leaned in closely and Sharon started back. "What happened to your lip? That looks nasty."
Sharon could see the gears turning in Marcia's mind. "I just tripped over someone's shoes. Jack and Ricky leave them out in the hall." It sounded implausible, even to her own ears. "I just haven't had the energy to get the house all cleaned up, so between the four of us, it's all going to pieces." She continued quickly. "What have you been up to?"
Marcia left the subject alone. "Oh, not much. Joe and I are thinking we might go up to Seattle for Christmas, see his sisters. Neil and Kara have both decided that they want to be firefighters. I think it was Kara's idea. Her class had a field trip to the fire station last week."
Sharon laughed. Jack had been taking Ricky to school no his way to work for the past several weeks, and she had forgotten how much she enjoyed the casual chatter with the other mothers. They continued to gossip for a few minutes, before Marcia finally excused herself. Sharon waved goodbye to Ricky and followed her out.
"I'll see you tomorrow!"
Marcia waved and turned away, towards her car.
Sharon buckled the baby seat back into the car and headed downtown, towards the station. She hadn't been there since her last day, nearly two months before. She parked a little farther away than she used to, the nearer spaces already taken. The day had already started for most of the officers. A few late patrol cars were still pulling out, but the vast majority were already gone.
She let herself in the front door, rather than her usual route from the garage. There was a new man on the desk, and she flashed her badge briefly to get past him and into the back halls. The first floor was all but deserted. Everyone was either in their offices or already out, and it was a little early for anything to have really gotten going.
She pushed the door to the stairs open with her hip, Cat's carrier clenched in both hands. No one would be on the stairs, and she didn't particularly want to meet anyone. It felt dirty, going up to IA to accept a job and jump rank. She hated it with her entire being. At the same time, she knew she had to take it. Jack was gone. He was gone and left no indication of when he'd be back.
"Jack is gone," she whispered as she climbed the steps. It still didn't seem real, even after she said it aloud. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she still expected him to be home when she got home, still expected it to be just a bad dream. She licked the cut on her lip.
It was all real. Jack would probably come running home at the end of the day, tail tucked, all smiles and jokes, but she couldn't risk his unpredictability. They weren't in college anymore, caring only about studying for exams and paying the rent. There were two little lives that depended upon them for everything, and she wasn't going to risk their security for the sake of her own reputation.
She growled under her breath and slammed her hip into the push-bar of the stairway door. It flew open and thumped against the wall as she walked through. The stairway opened into the hallway just short of the Internal Affairs offices. Two men looked up as the door slammed behind her, and she flushed slightly but ignored them.
"Do you need a ha-"
"I'm fine, thank you," she said shortly. She blew past them and into the main room. There were several officers working at desks, and most of them glanced up. A tall, older man started to stand when Bancroft's door opened and he waved his men down. His blinds were open, and he had clearly seen her walking in.
"Come on in, Sarge," he said. He held the door open and she slipped past him, trying not to knock Cat's carrier against the doorframe.
She set the carrier on the floor and sat in one of the free chairs before the desk. He sat on the edge of the desk and looked at her expectantly.
"I suppose you know why I'm here."
"To accept my job offer, I hope. You've certainly have more than enough time to consider it." He raised his eyebrows. "I know you've been leaning away from it, but I'd really like you to take it."
She looked down. "Thank you for holding it open for so long."
He shrugged. "A few weeks difference won't matter much in the long run, and having someone like you in this office is well worth the heat we're taking for not making a decision."
"I'm sorry."
"No use crying over spilled milk. It's fine." He paused. "Is this your way of accepting the promotion?"
"I suppose." She didn't look up, not trusting her face to hide her displeasure. "Is there any way I can do this without jumping rank?"
"No," he said simply. "You'll just have to make the best of it."
She sighed deeply. "It'll be good for people to see a woman with a Captain's bars, won't it?" She smiled at him wryly, repeating the words that had been echoing in the back of her mind.
"It would be," he said neutrally.
"I know most of the procedure manual. Do I need to learn another one?"
"No," he said carefully. She hadn't formally accepted, and he didn't want to scare her off. "You just need to know the one, inside and out. There's some more administrative things you'd need to learn, but it's not too hard. And how to run an FID investigation. It's a little different than your average mystery novel. And auditing. That's harder, but you can learn it, I'm sure." She needed to know the whole truth.
"Oh." She sounded hesitant, and he swore mentally, but after a moment, her face hardened. "I understand. I can take the literature and learn it before I come back." She glanced up and misinterpreted his surprise for skepticism. "I can do it." She was a quick reader and had always been good at memorization. "What else?"
He shook his head. "I've got a formal acceptance document for you to sign, and-" he reached into the deep bottom drawer of his desk and pulled out a cardboard box. "These are yours." It was full of manuals, rulebooks, guides to audits and investigations.
She nodded. "Okay."
"There's one more thing."
She looked at him curiously. "What?"
"You do realize there's going to be backlash from this."
Her face fell slightly. "Yes, I do."
"Not just the rank-jumping," he warned. "In general, IA isn't liked or appreciated. The fact that you're being made captain is going to piss them all off, even those who know the logistics of it. That you're a woman makes it worse. They're going to see you as a young woman trying to wave the rules over everyone while running ahead. I'm sorry about that, but there's nothing I can do."
"I understand."
"They're going to call you names and go out of their way to hinder you." He felt sorry for her. She was doing her best to look unaffected, but nevertheless seemed miserable. She needed to know. "You'll be ostracized by your peers. Your only friends here with be your subordinates. The higher-ups won't give a damn about your budget and needs. Lieutenant Ray-" he pointed out the window to the tall man from the office. "-manages our budget, and he'll teach you the basics."
She nodded.
"Ray can teach you the budgeting and how to work with the brass. Davies and Fowles do most of the field work; they'll help you out there. Ruby is the office manager. She's a citizen and works the desk and the phone."
"Who will tell me about the audits?"
"I will. You'll have to learn from the books, mostly, but I can walk you through the part you don't understand. I'm retiring at New Year's, essentially, and the goal of my retirement isn't to be your back-up. I can help you if you need it, but I don't want to spend the next several months glued to my phone, trying to talk you through things."
"Of course."
Bancroft had just opened his mouth again, when the door flew open again.
"Can you believe this, Lee? It's absolute horsesh-" Laurie Hotchkiss of the Special Operations Unit burst through the door, waving a newspaper in one hand. She cut herself off when she realized they weren't alone. "Pardon me." She started to back out, then ducked back in. "Sharon Raydor?"
"Yes, ma'am."
Cat started whimpering, and Sharon reached down, flipping the blanket back. She pulled the baby up to her chest and rocked her, looking down. "Sorry," she mumbled.
"Don't be." Hotchkiss dropped into the free chair and reached out a finger. "May I?" When Sharon nodded her consent, she stroked Cat's head gently. "She is the sweetest little thing."
Sharon smiled despite herself. "That's what she wants you to think."
"A right terror, hmm? I never had any, but my sisters' were more than enough." She ruffled Cat's peachfuzz gently. "Are you taking the job, then?"
Sharon looked up sharply and Hotchkiss frowned.
"Did your husband do that to you?" She stared closely at the cut on Sharon's lip.
Sharon could feel her face flushing. "Sorry?"
Hotchkiss merely raised her eyebrows.
"No. No, it was an accident. I did myself."
"Okay."
Sharon was surprised by Hotchkiss' lack of follow-up.
"Are you taking the job?"
"Yes," she replied slowly. Bancroft seemed slightly taken aback by Hotchkiss' arrival, but didn't interrupt.
"Good. Would you also accept the women's coordinator post, as well?"
"Ah-"
"I suppose it's a little much all at once. I hope you'll accept it in the near future. I'll offer it again."
Sharon nodded again, unsure of what to say.
Bancroft took the lead again and they quickly wrapped up. He brought out the formal acceptance document, and Sharon read through it closely, signing her name at the end of several pages of fine print. She settled Cat back into the carrier, and got ready to leave, contemplating how she would carry her daughter and the box of FID manuals to her car.
"I'll help." Hotchkiss took the box and walked to the door. "I'll talk to you later, Lee," she called to Bancroft. "Read that paper, and let me know what you think." She held the door for Sharon and followed with the box. "Lead the way to your car."
They didn't talk much until they reached the sedan, parked farther away than Sharon had remembered. She knew the car hadn't moved, but the walk to it had seemed agonizingly long. She buckled Cat's carrier in and opened the passenger door so Hotchkiss could set the box down. The woman did so, and waited until Sharon closed the door, before speaking.
"Want to tell me what really happened to your face?"
A/N- Several x-rays later... they've decided I just dislocated and fractured my foot, so they'll fix it up tonight and I'll be back home afterwards. I still have to study for school, but seeing as I can't do ANY sports, I'll have loads of free time. *le sigh* At least I should have really good grades this semester, yeah?
Ooh yeah- there is a Ray in FID. I was re-reading and was like "Ray and Raydor? What?" but Sharon mentions "Davies," "Ray," and "Elliot" at some point in the Closer.
I'm sorry that this is just a bunch of words and no action, but I wanted to get it out before I get my foot fixed (which is pronto, haha), because I think owe y'all an update (; The next one will be better, promise.