Many thanks to Shipperwolf for the revisions!
Chapter 7: The Third Interlude
Are you scared to be, scared of what you see
Are you scared to change, scared to rearrange
There's a chance that you never take the chances you get
There's a chance you haven't taken any chances yet
(Clawfinger; Chances)
Leonard stood up and held onto the upper frame of a wide window, or rather a huge opening in the wall of an elevated parking lot. He decided to observe the streets below. People and cars passing by, trees moving in the wind, lights in the opposite windows coming on and the orange-red horizon that had just engulfed the setting sun.
He tried to avoid such moments, however, sometimes it could not be helped and he had to spend a while just with himself, just with his thoughts. He looked down at the sidewalk. It was a very cold evening and he felt that the next temperature drop would come tonight. And he was right. The cold season was hesitating a lot this year, but now the time was about to come. The heavy clouds started gathering above the landscape. He breathed in and smelled something exciting. Something he wished to see for so long. It will snow soon, he smiled to himself.
In a way, he was looking forward to it. He loved winter. Not that he remembered any, but he had always preferred pictures with the snow-covered landscape over the summer ones. Lots of people do, yes?
But curiously enough, he loved the feeling of being cold itself. No matter how low the temperature, no matter how cold the wind, he would never mind. Honestly, he actually did not know that feeling. He was not sure what it meant to be cold.
Maybe that was the reason why he had accepted the part-time job at the local freezing plant to make some extra money. Not that his closest people were satisfied with it, but he liked it somehow. Unlike the other workers there, he had no problem with the temperature changes, he did not feel weakness nor did he suffer any disease. He was able to come and take someone else's job, or stay at work as long as necessary. Sometimes he would feel jealousy from his co-workers, because thanks to his immunity he earned far better salary and overall conditions. But who cared, since it was not his business. The only thing that perturbed him was another proof that he was... different. Once, when he stayed in the job for too long, he noticed his skin turning a weird shade of blue. But as soon as he realized, it assumed back its original shade of pale white. So he was not completely certain if it was real or not, but he could not stop thinking about it. Besides, he found his natural skin color a bit unusual itself. Maybe too pale for his jet-black hair.
A fresh wind rose and stroked his cheeks. His pale eyelids were forced to flutter when a snowflake landed on his lashes. And then another. And one by one, the snowflakes were dancing in spirals, falling silently to the ground. Leonard was amazed. He did not really expect the snow to come now. It felt as if the clouds themselves were willing to fulfill his wish. Smiling with disbelief, he extended his hand to catch one of the tiny white shapes. He viewed the unique crystal structures for a moment, just before... But it did not thaw. It made him strangely nervous. Come on, melt...
And the snowflake obeyed.
And so he closed his eyes and breathed. My first winter.
Although... most probably not. How many winters could I have experienced in my life?
At each medical examination he had to endure he would hear the same thing: 'You are in your mid-to- late twenties.'
Well, that sounded reasonable. At least physically. But deep inside he felt he must have experienced so many things... But it was nothing tangible, nothing concrete. He still could not summon any memory from his past. Just some incoherent, blurred images, engulfed in mist.
There were only feelings that remained. And he could not name them, either. Because they were connected to people, places and situations he was unable to recall. The only thing he knew, or he thought he knew, was that the feelings were old. Immensely, unreachably old. And definitely not pleasant. These were the feelings he feared. And as in the case of many other strange things in his life, Leonard decided to pretend they did not exist.
Exactly like that voice in his head. Leonard was trying to forget, to live like the nightmarish, terrifying visits never happened. But inside of his soul he realized he was misleading himself. Otherwise, why should he feel frightened of being alone?
Because... the other one may return.
But he hadn't. Since quite a long time ago.
And why? Maybe the answer was that Leonard actually stopped feeling alone. Abandoned. Stranded. Or better – he did not care anymore. And most likely it began that day when he met Bret. The only person around whom Leonard felt comfortable and relaxed right from the start. It just felt like they had known each other for years. And so, after such a long time he dared stop feeling like a perfect stranger. Although they had been quite different as far as their temper was considered, Bret and Leonard understood each other very well.
There was even no need to speak. Leonard noticed that he felt comfortable just in his friend's presence. So perfectly calm and safe.
However, Bret was rather not a calm and quiet person. He would always be the one to break the silence first. Should it be anyone else, Leonard would most probably get annoyed, but surprisingly, he considered Bret… funny. He had quite a unique sense of humor. And there was something else to Bret, something that seemed more natural to him than speaking. The way he could play guitar. Leonard admired the harsh sound as well as the lyrical. He had no idea how plausibly could a feeling have been expressed like that. And it was something he would never consider disturbing in any way. Quite the opposite, he got used to the constant presence of music in his life and came to like it more and more.
However, Bret was not the only one with whom Leonard shared their apartment. There was one person left. The one Leonard would imagine if someone would have asked about a perfect opposite to Bret.
It was Shiro, his very first roommate, to be exact.
It was easy to be friends with Bret, although Leonard could not explain why. But Shiro was different. And Leonard had had to find and pass a far more difficult way to that strange and silent man. Shiro certainly did not belong to utterly communicative people. He would not talk if not necessary. Until they moved to their new dwelling, Leonard had known almost nothing about this person. He suspected Shiro of doing various weird things, mostly because the latter would oftentimes come late at night, or at dawn, or not at all. Without saying a word.
But now, the situation changed. When they had moved in, Shiro had decided to open himself a bit more and Leonard discovered that he would value this friendship as well. It hadn't been easy to earn but it was worth it. No, Shiro was not a vampire… Shiro was brilliant, with an intellect maybe too outstanding for the others to catch up with. But first of all, he was an artist. He was an incredibly talented musician, maybe even more than Bret, and he just loved to devote himself to his talent. If not in front of the audience, then just by himself. His personality was complicated and much too different to fit in this world. But should there be one thing to link him with nowadays society, it would be cars. Shiro loved cars; maybe a bit more than Leonard could understand.
Oh yes... Leonard smiled again and looked over his shoulder.
The section of the elevated parking lot he was in right now belonged just to them. The owner had promised he would make this place accessible for them for some extra money. Of course Shiro and Bret had both immediately agreed, because like that, they earned a great studio just above their apartmnet just for a few dollars more. And there was more to it... Leonard thought as he checked a coal-black car standing in front of the gateway. It was Shiro's beloved Eight Evolution of Mitsubishi Lancer, that Shiro, full of pride and love, called "Miko". Well, taking care of such a vehicle cost some money. And Shiro knew how to earn them. How to earn a lot.
And thanks to Shiro, Leonard knew as well.
To be introduced to poker was one of the breaking points in his present life. He did not even know how it happened when he started to attend the tournaments together with Shiro. How is it possible I have ever lived without it?
However, Leonard had soon discovered that Mike and Julie had never supported any kind of gambling. He remembered the feeling of confusion when Julie had refused his money with rebuke and sorrow in her voice as soon as she knew where the money came from.
But Leonard did not understand; he did nothing wrong after all. All the players realize they can lose. And he was certainly not to blame for them to be so willing to lose. He did not rob anyone, did he? Like that, he had an opportunity to earn a fortune during an evening! There was no need to spend the whole weekend or a nightshift in a part-time job anymore. And he just wanted to pay back his foster family not only for all the money they had spent on him but also for all the care, patience and trust they had invested in him. But Julie still rejected it. He felt sorry, but on the other hand, he refused to leave his new hobby. He would choose rather not to speak about it or even to tell a little lie to prevent any further conflicts. And the problem was solved. Sometimes he would feel uneasy- guilty maybe, but on the other hand, he had the situation under control and no one had discovered his little deceit so far.
And this was another from the growing row of his strange skills. To deceive and mislead the minds of other people. Making someone believe him any silliness was not a problem for Leonard. He was so good at it that it sometimes scared him. As the last week, when he had been asked a question, but he hadn't been paying attention at the lecture. He did not have a clue what the question was about; however, he hadn't hesitated even for a slightest moment and had started to talk. In the end, he hadn't said anything meaningful, but nonetheless, the professor had seemed quite satisfied with the asnwer.
After giving it some thought, Leonard chose not to let people know about his abilities. He decided he had better keep some matters just to himself. Sometimes an advantage is more useful as hidden, after all. Well, and poker was a great opportunity to use his hidden flair. He realized it all too well. To be able to calculate the combinations was one thing, but to impose the right thoughts to the others' minds was another. He loved those little secret battles and he loved the inevitable moments of surrender, when he knew he managed to mislead his opponents exactly where he wanted them to be. He craved it and he knew he was good at it. No… he had no match; that was the right word.
The only one who realized what Leonard was capable of was Shiro. And only Shiro alone was sometimes able to resist. But in the end, he was always defeated, just like everyone else. But Shiro did not mind since Leonard would always share the prize evenly with him. Even if they had won quite a fortune, as the last week. Leonard remembered the ride back home, when they had been burying themselves into the seats of the night-bus. And surprisingly, it was Shiro who had broken the silence first:
...
"Miko needs a change. Something new..." Shiro muttered plainly and placidly; he did not even turn his head away from the window. So for a moment, Leonard wondered if he was supposed to answer at all.
"And do you have something particular in mind?" he asked finally. "The engine again?"
"Mmm... No. No, I'm satisfied with the performance, I'd say. For now." Shiro replied absentmindedly. "The new brakes are also not bad."
Leonard almost choked. "Not bad?!" he exclaimed. "I thought I'd have to peel my eyeballs off the windshield when you first tried them! What else would you call 'not bad'?"
"Gome..." Shiro bowed his head in his usual manner, but grinned this time. "But you know, that's what I wanted to hear."
"What?"
"Well, that's exactly the feeling you should have with good brakes." Shiro smirked. "And I just wanted to make a little test…"
Leonard welcomed the more relaxed feeling from Shiro and smiled as well. "Ah, I see." he replied slyly, "Sorry, I was maybe too busy keeping the contents of my stomach in place."
Shiro glanced at Leonard sideways and laughed quietly. "You know," he began, spinning one of the metal rings around his thin finger. "It can get quite exciting when you become used to it."
"Are you trying to indicate something?" Leonard asked, curious, sliding down the backrest and leaning his head against it.
"I've been thinking about it for a while now..." Shiro answered calmly. "Listen," he continued then, "would you like to come to the circuit with me? Next Saturday?"
"Me?" Leonard asked, surprised and feeling flattered inside. "What would I do there?"
"What..?" Shiro shrugged. "What everyone else does. Go for a ride, pick up some girls... "
"Sounds about good." Leonard smiled, trying to hide a certain little wave of panic.
"You bet!" Shiro grinned back. "So, what about Miko? She deserves a change, yes?"
"I'm still not quite sure what do you mean."
"I was thinking about changing the spoilers and rims." Shiro explained eventually. "I don't know… I got bored by the current look."
"Anything you wish." Leonard shrugged. "What am I to say? You know I'd never even dare to look at her without your permission."
At that moment, Shiro finally turned to look at Leonard. "I know." He said, showing his teeth. "But yeah, I have some idea about the shapes," he continued, "but I'm not sure about the color. I mean, I still want Miko black but the silver rims are getting really dull. Any suggestions?" Shiro lifted a brow.
"Mmm." Leonard was thinking. Yellow? No, too loud. Red... He looked at Shiro. Well, it would match his current hair color, but that may change quickly... "Green." He stated finally. "Definitely green." And when he looked at Shiro, he knew the last barrier between them had just fallen down.
...
Yes, Shiro was different, there was no doubt. Sometimes, when Leonard observed his reserved, distant, thoughtful eyes he wondered where he had seen them before. But it was the same as with Bret. No matter how that feeling was intense and familiar, he would not remember anything concrete.
Noises roused him from his musings.
Leonard turned his head over the other shoulder and watched the door. It opened and Shiro walked in first. He checked Leonard briefly, as if standing in the window was something usual and rather boring. Then there was Derek, a weird guy with long dark dreadlocks who was constantly smoking. He held the door for Bret who was carrying a space heater. Shiro switched the light on.
"See?" called Bret, grinning at Leonard. "I said I'd get something."
"Oh, I've never doubted that." Leonard let a sweet lie escape his lips.
"Thanks." Bret acknowledged but his smile was more than cautious. He stood the device on the ground and plugged it. Then he viewed his guitar intently, almost like checking if something had happened to the instrument while he was away. It made Leonard smile. He did not fully understand this behavior but found it cute in a way.
When Bret finally straightened, he glanced at the window. "Something nice there?" he asked.
"It's snowing." Leonard answered dreamily.
Bret raised his brows. "And?"
"Nothing particular." Leonard breathed in reply.
"So… still not willing to join us?" Bret tried, a light grin touching his lips, the bright eyebrows climbing higher.
Leonard sighed. "I believe we've discussed the matter several times."
"I know." Bret replied and shrugged. "And I still think you're just wasting your talent. Trust me, you'll regret it once."
Leonard let out an amused laugh and looked over his shoulder again. "No Bret, I won't. There's a promising career in front of me. And as you'll end up in a garage and I don't know what other sort of sleazy pub entertaining tosspots, I'll be discovering the elements and forces of the universe and earning a lot of money for it." He smirked. "Life is neat, isn't it?"
"What?! This music is not about entertaining tosspots and you know it!" Bret retorted, frowning. "And where do you plan to arrange such a great career, by the way? Stark Industries, I presume?" He puffed at the heater and hit it a few times. "Work, you crap!" He commanded the device.
"Why not?" Leonard wondered.
"Wait, last time you told me you wanted to own a big casino…" Shiro pointed at Leonard with a drumstick and scratched at his temple with another.
"He might have both." Derek breathed out the smoke and smirked. "Especially if he gets a good position around Stark."
"And why are you so certain about it, if I may ask? 'Cause he was the only one who paid attention at Stark's lecture?" Bret asked, seemingly irritated by the remembrance, as he stuggled to make the heater work.
"Why, it was interesting." Leonard shrugged. "Not to mention there was no one else to answer his questions."
"Answer his questions?" Bret snorted. "Tell you what, an independent observer would tell you were flirting."
"Aw." Leonard made a face. "You think me so handsome I could compete with Miss Potts?"
"Actually, when drunk enough he might confuse you with her in the dark." Shiro suggested, narrowing his thoughtful eyes.
"No. Don't you rememeber the lecture?" Bret opposed. "Apparently just the fact that someone was able to follow his thoughts seemed to turn the Iron Man on."
"Please. Don't tell me you're jeallous, guys." Speaking sweetly, Leonard lifted a suspicious brow, a victorious smile plastered over his face.
"Fuck you." Bret snapped sharply, pointing at his friend. "And anyway, we'll see who's going to be the envious one in the end." He insisted, calming down as he watched the coils of the heater turn red. "Once I see you there..." he began again, looking at Leonard and scratching his head, "It'll be good to get some canvas or something to cover the window."
Leonard chuckled silently. "No problem. Just remind me to strip a few semitrailers from their tilts on the way back home. Oh, and fuck you back."
"Hey. I'm serious." Bret protested.
Leonard turned, slightly annoyed. "Bret, dear friend, like it or not, it's winter now, and you'll be cold here."
"No, I won't!" Bret declared flatly. "I pay for this space so I want to use it. And such things like winter won't stop me!" The sound of Bret's voice reminded Leonard of a spoiled child.
"Hm… Maybe there is a way..." Leonard replied in a mysterious voice and waited. That was another thing he loved about Bret. He loved to tease the guy.
"What?" Bret gave Leonard a suspicious glance while fighting with a cable, his expression doubtful.
Leonard smiled approvingly. Sometimes he forgot that Bret was less prone to his teasing than Leonard expected him to be. But he chose to move on anyway. "Well, maybe you should try practicing with gloves on your hands." Leonard suppressed the jerk threatening his lips and continued. "I can lend you my mittens if you want. I don't need them anyway."
A second of quiet later, Bret's frown turned into a light smile, which eventually turned into a coarse laughter. "Not bad. I shall give it a try it one day!" He resounded merrily as he knelt in front of the heater and started rubbing his hands together, trying to warm his fingers.
"All right. I think it's okay now." He announced after a while and stood up.
"You think?" Leonard asked with a suspicious hint.
"I know. Tell me what do you want to hear." Bret stated confidently. "Come on. Anything."
"Mmm... All right. What would I like to hear?" Leonard looked up, index finger on his thin lips. "What about Ceremony? For the beginning?" He turned slightly to glance at Bret. "You haven't played that one for a while now. I heard the original yesterday but I won't mind a repetition."
"Pff!" An answer sounded.
"What 'pff'?" Leonard turned around.
"Easy as pie."
„Oh, is it?" Leonard asked doubtfully. "Then I'm particularly interested in the quick part in the middle."
"No problem. But..." Bret hesitated, furrowing his brows slightly. "There's just Derek on the bass today. The sound's going to be a bit plain, I'm afraid."
"What a pity!" Added Leonard and got down elegantly. "And I believed I could choose anything..."
"Fine! You'll get what you want." Bret retorted.
Leonard had to grin when he saw Shiro rolling his eyes and spinning a drumstick around his fingers.
"Hey, what are we waiting for?" Bret glared nervously at his companions.
"Just a sec, dude." Derek coughed, sucked in the smoke for a few times more and put the remnants of the cigarette to the ashtray.
Leonard leaned against the wall and listened. He knew the song note by note but still he could listen to it over and over. Of course it sounded different in Bret's interpretation and he missed some sounds from the original version, but he loved it anyway. In the end it was not bad at all. And even if the sound was indeed a bit plain, it was full of energy.
"So, what do you say?" asked Bret when he gulped some water, appearing satisfied with himself.
Leonard was thinking for a moment. "It was… interesting. Almost precise."
Bret tilted his head. "Almost?"
"Yes. If not for those three mistakes..." Leonard answered innocently as he paced toward him.
"What mistakes?" Bret wrinkled his forehead.
"Well, man, your fingers failed you once. I've noticed." Derek agreed as he lit up another cigarette.
"And twice you played completely out of the time." Shiro added matter-of-factly. "I know you like to get fascinated by yourself, but there are others, too. You should finally learn how to hold on to the rhythm."
"And who do you think you are? Bonzo?" Retorted Bret and frowned at Shiro.
"I'm quite glad I'm not." Shiro answered calmly and ran the drumstick around his fingers again, as easily as ever.
"Now then, if I'm not mistaken, that makes three." Leonard resumed the mockery and rubbed a non-existing dust off Bret's shoulder.
"You're all so clever, right? Just wait..." uttered Bret silently and waved off Leonard's hand.
Leonard smiled, grabbed Bret's shoulders and shook him a little. "Oh come on, Thor, don't be - " Leonard stopped, confused by the words that just escaped his mouth. That was odd.
Bret turned around swiftly, tilted his head and narrowed his eyes. "What did you call me?"
"Just... normally..." Leonard replied, his voice much too uncertain. He looked at the others.
"No." Bret snorted a short laugh. "You called me Thor. And that's not my name if I recall correctly."
"Did I?" Leonard asked, confused even more.
Shiro nodded silently.
"You bet." Derek grinned.
"But... why should I say such a thing?" Leonard laughed nervously. "I do not know of any - "
"How can you be so sure?" Bret stopped him. "I think that you must have known someone with this name. Otherwise, why would you say it?" Then he grinned widely. "And probably he looks like me!" Looking at the others, he let out an amused laugh.
Leonard hung his head and closed his eyes. It's here again. He covered his face with his palms. He felt he was so close; that something was coming back from a long distance. However, the same way as before, just before he managed to realize the images in his mind, they faded away in fog. Everything blurred and his head erupted in pain.
He knitted his brows together tightly. "Sorry I... have to go downstairs."
"You're okay?" Bret asked him, a serious expression spreading over his face.
"Yeah. Just a headache." Leonard answered quietly and set off to the exit.
ooOOOoo
The headache grew stronger with each step he took. Before he managed to get down the stairs, Leonard almost feared he could not see. Somehow he managed to open the door of the apartment and take his shoes and coat off.
Where's that stupid painkiller again?! He complained as he searched the box with medicaments and then all the shelves and drawers. Unsuccessfully.
Oh..!
He felt like crying. It's impossible for something to be lost in here! He thought, full of disbelief and anger.
Truth be told, he was actually right: things got seldom lost in such a small space. Their flat comprised of just a small hall, a bathroom so tiny one could hardly turn around there, and a bit more comfortable living room with a kitchenette in one corner. Well, it was also a bedroom, since in the other corner stood a big double-bed and opposite to it was a couch Shiro slept on. And a few other necessary pieces of furniture. That was all. Oh, and a stereo standing on the shelf between the two windows. The very first thing Bret brought there. Leonard felt happy they had access to the parking lot and to the roof. The three of them would have gone insane here, otherwise.
In the end, Leonard found what he was looking for on Shiro's nightstand. He grabbed the pack nervously and took two pills. When he gulped some water and swallowed he rested his forehead against the cupboard and held his breath. He was considering feverishly what to do now. Move to the bed and lay down? Or better lean against the wall in the bathroom? The second choice did not sound so comfortable, but he would be close enough to the toilet in case his stomach would choose to get rid of its content. He tried to wait and stay still just for a while longer. Then he moved, carefully and slowly, and reached the bed.
ooOOOoo
Leonard woke up as he felt a hand on his shoulder. "Lenny?" Bret's voice sounded as if coming from a long distance. The caring tone was a bit funny, though. "Lenny!" Bret shook him gently. "Still alive?"
Leonard opened one eye slowly and searched Bret's face. "Never..." he uttered in a coarse voice and coughed. "Never call me that again. Unless you wish to experience a horrible, slow death." He added.
Bret laughed lightly. "Look, unless you wish to experience that, move away. This is my side."
Leonard grumbled reluctantly and hugged the pillow. "I was actually thinking about a small change. You would like it at the window, it's neat there."
"No no no, forget it! And roll away, or I'll do it." Bret protested half-heartedly as he stood up.
"All right. If it's you..." Leonard agreed in the end and sat up, watching Bret return to the hall. He rubbed his eyes carefully. "It's okay now. The headache."
"That's good to hear." Bret answered from the hall where he was taking his coat off. "So. Have you managed to recall who Thor is?" he called out as he hung his coat on the hook.
"No." Leonard sighed quietly.
"What about the Master of Thunder? Son of Odin?" Offered Shiro when he entered the room.
"Oh-ho! That would be cool!" Bret chirped. "You know, Lenny, you'll have to introduce the guy to me when you meet him again."
"Yeah... sure." Leonard whispered as he had to close his eyes firmly and frown at the new and sudden wave of pain.
ooOOOoo
"So, how did you like this one?" Bret asked quietly as the movie ended and the three companions watched the credits silently, half sitting, and half lying on the double bed. The room was dark except the dim light emitted by a bedside lamp and the screen of a laptop that sat on the bed, supported with a thick tome with a slightly provocative title "Introduction to the Quantum Mechanics".
"Don't know." Leonard answered uncertainly and made a dent in the can he was holding. "I felt kind of sorry for that shape-shifting guy. He was the only interesting thing that happened to this movie."
"Hey, stop being so critical! It's a classic." Bret opposed and dug his elbow into Leonard's ribs.
"Hey!" Leonard exclaimed and raised his arm that held the can of beer. "I'm just trying to express my opinion, all right? Okay, the action was not bad but it still changes nothing on the fact that the whole plot is built on an absolutely insane time-paradox."
"Yeah, but… Why don't you just put that premise aside and enjoy the show?"
"No, Bret, even if I wanted to, I couldn't push the thought aside. It's just... illogical." Leonard insisted stubbornly and made the dent in his can a bit wider. "How could Connor send a bloke to the past to make him his father? That's a totally insane time-loop."
"Stop atomizing it!" Bret rolled his eyes, "Just take it as a fact. Besides, you've put up with a far worse time-paradoxes without a word." He added, smirking.
"For example..?" Leonard's brows rose.
"For example…" Bret cleared his throat and continued casually, "Lister being his own father," his lips curved, "Fry being his own grandpa…" And he stopped as he watched Leonard chuckle into his can, choking with the half-swallowed beer. The latter sat up and coughed, trying to suppress the laughter, wiping his mouth with his wrist.
"But this was supposed to be funny." Leonard answered when he calmed down a bit. "It's so absurd it's hilarious." He added and took another sip of beer. But then his body twisted with another wave of laughter and he spluttered the liquid in his hand.
"Watch out!" Bret exclaimed and grabbed a roll of toilet paper that stood on his nightstand, tore of a piece and tried to wipe the liquid from Leonard's face and arms. "Do you know how smelly it can get?" he reprimanded. "You're lucky it's not on the blanket!" Bret continued as he pushed Leonard back and resumed wiping his friend's chest.
"Oh yes, that's what I like it, Bret, don't stop…" the latter purred.
"Nah! Do it yourself!" Bret spluttered half angry, half amused as he threw the piece of paper in Leonard's face. "Hopeless." He added as he gulped his own beer. He let out an annoyed sigh and turned slightly to view the other side of the bed. "Look, you've awakened our friend." He smirked as he noticed Shiro's movements.
Leonard turned as well and watched Shiro sideways. "I wouldn't say so." He observed. "Look, he actually finished the beer. He must be delirious by now."
"Ha-ha, very funny of you." Shiro opposed, his weary eyes narrowed. "You can't tolerate much more."
"What are you talking about?" Leonard asked, sounding a bit offended. "I was not drunk last time. I was merely in a good mood."
"Yeah, whatever." Shiro concluded and folded his arms as he closed his eyes again.
Leonard just sighed and laid his head on Bret's shoulder.
"And what do you think you're doing right now?" Bret asked in surprise and annoyance.
"Right now?" Leonard opened one eye. "Many things. I'm sitting – well, almost lying, breathing... you'll have to specify it."
"All right." Bret coughed. "What is your head doing on my shoulder?"
"Just... resting."
„Resting?" Bret exclaimed. "You know, you should find yourself a woman for this."
"Uh… then I will have to look for a really big one." Leonard observed quietly.
Shiro let out something like a chuckle and stirred.
Bret sighed, resigned and helpless, and leaned his head against the headboard. "I'll be right back." He stated finally, stood up and walked to the hall.
And Leonard just smiled and blinked. Then he turned to Shiro. The latter had his eyes closed firmly, his hands together at his stomach, his fingers entwined.
"Shiro?" Leonard asked after a while.
"Hmm." His companion growled.
"Could you…" Leonard tried.
"No." Shiro retorted. "Today is your turn to do the cleaning."
"All right." Leonard answered merrily and slithered lower. He reached out his left foot and pressed the Esc button with his toe, then held the upper frame of the laptop screen with his right foot and closed it.
"Wha..?" Shiro burst into living suddenly. "What do you think you're doing?"
"What… Just cleaning." Leonard stated innocently as he continued the process.
"Using your feet? Great!" Shiro grunted, sneaked out from the bed and grabbed his laptop sulkily.
"Thanks for taking over the cleaning for me." Leonard bubbled, all content, and sipped at his beer.
Shiro just uttered an indefinite noise and started wiping his laptop with a handkerchief.
"There's still your book over there." Leonard added after a moment. When he did not get any reaction from his friend, Leonard clenched the can with his teeth and clasped the cover of the book with his toes again. "Shiro! Come retrieve me!" he spoke into the can, smiling roguishly, moving the cover of the book up and down as if making it speak.
At that moment, Shiro stopped and stood up slowly. He paced deliberately to the bed and took the book. Then he stroked it's spine a few times. "Strange things, these books." He muttered to himself and placed a menacing look upon Leonard. "One can find useful information in them, but at another time, they can serve quite different purposes… More violent purposes, I'd say."
Leonard bent his knees instinctively and the can between his teeth resonated with a muffled chuckle.
Shiro viewed him from the slits between his eyelids. "But this one was far too expensive to waste on you."
"So you say, sweetheart." Concluded Leonard and took another sip.
„Hm…" Bret's voice sounded from the hall. "Sweetheart sounds about good." He peeked in the room carefully. It appeared he was holding a cell phone.
„Depends on who are you writing to." Leonard remarked.
"Ah… I've just decided to send a greeting to Elliot Hunter." Bret answered casually. "You know her?" He lifted a brow and darted a playful look at Leonard.
"What?" Leonard blurted out, sat up and turned to look at Bret.
"Well, you know, while some of us…" Bret begun, glancing slyly at Leonard, "fancy in wasting time with a mere staring at the woman…" he continued and turned his eyes back to the phone he was holding, "I, Bret Larsson, did not hesitate and got her number." He grinned as he stood in the doorway leaning against the doorframe, and resumed the writing. Then he muttered something and it seemed he finished the message.
"But…" Leonard uttered an appalled sound, "Wait, what have you written?"
Bret beamed, cleared his throat and continued in a solemn tone. "My dearest, good lady, I have spent many days watching and admiring your beauty and delicacy. I have spent many nights - "
"Bret..?" Leonard asked in disbelief and tilted his head slightly.
"Don't intervene!" Bret reprimanded, frowning half-heartedly. "Er… where did I… Yes, um… I have spent many nights dreaming about your…"
"Bret." Leonard said with a silent menace in his tone and raised on his feet.
„Wait, man, this is getting pretty interesting!" Shiro stepped in as he tossed his blanket aside and sat up eagerly.
"About your…" Bret, overlooking Leonard's uneasiness, chuckled and retreated back to the hall, "…closeness." he added finally.
Shiro grumbled in disappointment and lay back.
"I'm longing for you, and you know who I am." Bret continued and pushed the door swiftly shut to keep Leonard at some distance for a second. "With fervent love, L. W." He finished reading the message.
"What the hell?!" Leonard shouted as he blurted in with a surprising force.
"Your message has been sent." Bret announced, satisfied, standing in the bathroom doorway.
"It's… This is my phone!" Leonard uttered, stunned. Shiro started from his couch again.
"Bret," Leonard hissed, "I will kill you for this." He spoke in a low, menacing voice as he pointed at his chuckling friend. He paused as the phone sounded with an incoming return message. "You'll die suffering in a particularly disgusting manner." He added then.
"Well, my lad, now you can. This was worth it." Bret answered calmly, with amusement in his voice, pressed the phone to Leonard's chest and returned to the living room.
"Bret, I…"Leonard was still pointing at his friend, but a smile was making its way to his features. "Perhaps you missed the point but I meant it. I will hurt you. I will do you something very nasty. Do you realize that?"
"Yeah, I'll keep that in mind." Bret gave a grunt as he made his way under the blanket. "Switch the light off, please."
"Hey, we're not finished!" Leonard exclaimed as he leapt to the bed, grabbed the sheet and uncovered his colleague with one jerk. "I'm talking to you!"
"And what is it?" Bret snapped angrily. "Are you mad or what?"
"Yes! I considered you my friend." Leonard pointed out with a hint of disappointment in his low voice.
"And I am." Bret answered quietly, placidly.
"Then why did you do that?" Leonard opposed.
"Why?" Bret laughed slightly, sat up and crossed his arms. "What's wrong with you today?" he grinned and viewed Leonard intently. "You suffer some illness or what? It was just fun, nothing more."
"It was…" Leonard uttered in disbelief and looked at the cell phone.
Bret tilted his head back as he guffawed. "I don't know Elliot's number, I did not even speak with her." he revealed finally. "I still don't think that your staring at the girl will bring anything fruitful," he shrugged and smiled, "But I would never pry into your business."
"So," Leonard frowned, "To whom did you sent that message?" he added with a new horrifying realization in his voice.
"What?"
"I received the return receipt! So you must have sent it to someone." Leonard pressed as he went through the message list.
„It was uh… P. Compton? I think." Bret tried. "Isn't he the guy with whom you went climbing last time?"
Shiro spluttered.
"You idiotic oaf! That's N. Compton!" Leonard shouted. "P. Compton stands for Professor Compton!"
A message rang at that moment. Leonard froze.
"What is it? What does he say?" Both Bret and Shiro crowded themselves eagerly around Leonard.
The latter cleared his throat as he finally dared look at the text. "Apparently I was not meant as a receiver of your message, Mr. Wednesday." Leonard read aloud; then paused to dart a meaningful glance at his companions. "Nevertheless, know that I'm impressed and maybe a bit flattered, too. Pass my hearty greetings to your lady. Good luck and good night, A. C."
"A. C.?" Bret's brows knitted.
"His name is Aldous or something…" Leonard frowned, too.
Bret laughed. "Well, assuming it's 1:30am, old Aldous or something took it quite good, hah?"
"Bret… Now I've got to kill you." Massaging his temples with his thumb and forefinger, Leonard spoke quietly. "Now I have to promise you."
"Yeah, make a note so you won't forget it." Bret sighed wearily as he covered himself. "And I would not care about Compton. I know nothing you couldn't talk your way out of. And turn the light off!"
ooOOOoo
Leonard was slowly coming to a realization that he was awake. It was still dark, though. But the nervous feeling that he would have to get up and go to school was soon repressed by a new realization. It was Saturday. And he did not have to go to work today, either. A warm and comforting feeling spread across his body. He decided to dig into his pillow even more and continue his sleeping peacefully. It was peculiar; he had not felt this good after awakening since ages. So secure and comfortable. So relaxed. He moved his head and hand, nuzzling into the soft fabric lazily.
But wait... Something was wrong.
He wanted to shield himself from the relentless reality, but in the end he had to admit the fact.
The fact that the mass he was sleeping on was not his pillow. The thing he was clinging to was not his soft blanket.
No.
It was not even a thing. It was a human. It was Bret.
Sleeping, snoring Bret Larsson.
A muted beep sounded and the room was suddenly filled with a dim light. Shiro's mobile. Leonard had gotten used to the fact that Shiro's friends did not mind any day or night hour. He received the messages constantly, regardless the time. Leonard raised his head slightly to check if Shiro was watching. However, the latter just growled in annoyance, grabbed his phone and tossed it back on the table straight away. Then he turned back to the wall and mumbled a few annoyed words in Japanese. And Leonard understood perfectly what Shiro was saying. And Leonard realized all too well that the words were spoken in Japanese. Another thing that had rather disturbed him recently. And well, again he rather chose to ignore it.
Leonard sighed and laid his head back on Bret's wide shoulder. For a while he trailed his eyes around the room, thinking about how to solve this situation; what to do to not wake Bret. Because if he did, something terrible would happen.
Bret hadn't gotten to his usual good-night phrase tonight, however, in most cases, just before they fell asleep, Bret would always announce that: 'Try to touch me and I'll kill you.' Well, the reason was simple. When they had moved in, they noticed that the owner had left a fully furnished apartment for them, but in a different manner than they had expected. Well, the single huge double-bed could have been suitable for the lady-visits the previous inhabitant had welcomed there; however, it was not so suitable for Bret and Leonard.
First night they had arranged a plan that each night someone would be sleeping on the ground. And well, after the great fiasco of that plan they had agreed that they would withstand a few nights together until they would figure out how to reorganize the space in the room, get the double bed out and buy two separated beds instead. However, happy or not, in the end they had found out that the option with the double-bed was the best space-saving solution available.
Leonard blinked a few times and viewed Bret intently. Good thing was that Bret would not wake up for a while now. Judging from the occasional snoring and teeth-grinding, it seemed that Bret was fast asleep. Worse thing was that Bret was holding Leonard, hugging him, actually, and grasping Leonard's hand in his. If only you could see yourself right now, dear Bret… Leonard almost laughed.
After a hesitant moment Leonard tried to move. No reaction. Good. We'll try a bit more… But at that moment, Bret stirred a bit, let out a disapproving sound and hugged Leonard even tighter.
Great.
Leonard breathed out heavily and paused in thought again. How is that even possible? How and why it happened? He looked at Bret. Is he..?
No, certainly not. Certainly not Bret. Well, Leonard was quite lean and slender, so Bret was most probably under an impression that he was hugging one of his girlfriends.
But what about me? Leonard panicked for a second. After all, there were plenty of things he still hadn't found out about himself. He only realized that he felt very comfortable like that; in this position. Safe and protected. But why? He could not tell.
He frowned in disbelief. I was used to sleeping cuddled up with a bloke? He wanted to find the answer; he knew it was so close. But like always, he did not remember.
But no matter how he tried, no matter who he imagined, he found out with a relief that he was not attracted by men in any way. A friendship was binding him with Bret and Shiro, but that was all. And when he tried to imagine something more it just felt wrong.
And on the contrary, when he started to think about women he knew immediately that it was the right feeling. He loved how the girls watched him and giggled around him. He loved how they blushed when they passed by, looking in his eyes as he refused to look away. And then there was Elliot. His tall, slender and charming classmate with long, dark hair. She would always sit a few rows below in the lecture room, always at the edge, near the window, so her dark hair would reflect the light. And he just had to watch those reflections. Even if it took the whole lecture.
However, he still was not aware how exactly to react to that. In fact, he had just started realizing other people's existence. Until now he had been too busy discovering his own personality: how to cope with his weird life and how to get to know himself. But as the time passed, he noticed that he had maybe just been wasting the time of his present life. I can't remember anything, anyway. And if I find out something about me, it's usually odd and strange. And so he was not sure anymore that he really wanted to remember. Maybe it's better like that… he mused finally.
Although… He inhaled and smiled to himself. As long as women were considered, he knew it would come. It must have. He still was not certain if it actually was a real memory or not, if it was a dream or an illusion or whatever. The face of an unknown woman.
There were days when her image got clearer, so he could recognize all the delicate features. And there were days when it would come up so blurred he could not tell any detail. It was an image that would appear out of nowhere, mostly at the time when he was falling asleep or awakening. It was a truly beautiful, brown-haired woman, whose face was marked with fear and fright. At the days when he could see her image clearly, he was wondering why she felt like that? What was the cause of her fear? Sometimes it felt that her worried eyes were staring at him. And a terrific thought would invade his mind. What if I was the cause..? No, it can't be. I would never have hurt her, he tried to persuade himself.
Frowning at this disturbing thought, Leonard let himself get carried away so he did not notice that something was happening. He heard Bret's confused, coarse voice.
"Leonard?"
What now? After some chaotic thinking Leonard decided that just doing nothing would be the best. Or better, to pretend that he was still fast asleep and thus not aware of anything inappropriate.
"Asleep?"
What a stupid question! Of course I'm… Not.
"Sorry man, but my arm is dying." Bret rasped silently.
What?
And before Leonard could realize that the whole episode would get by without any consequences, he felt Bret's struggle to lift Leonard's head carefully, just enough to push him aside and not wake him up. Leonard, on the other hand, had to struggle not to burst in laughter.
As soon as he felt his pillow under his cheek, Leonard heard a last remark.
"I think you're just missing someone. But it's not me." Bret whispered just before he fell back asleep.
Now, that was a curious thought. Well, but maybe quite true. Leonard had to admit that Bret was probably right.
He missed someone. Badly. But he did not know who. And that realization was far worse than the feeling alone.
From the moment he had awakened in the hospital until now Leonard would never think about himself with pity.
Until now.
In that moment, everything reached him suddenly. Everything he had ever wanted to complain about, but did not know where; everything he'd wanted to pity, but hadn't had a chance. Until tonight. He finally realized what he had wanted to and what he needed to do a long time ago.
And so he clutched his pillow and let his silent tears fall.
Thank you for following my story and for all the patience!
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