…

Clarke tried as hard as she could to open the door that they thought led into the emergency aid depot. It would not budge.

"I think it's rusted shut." Clarke said. Bellamy used his hatchet to break through, and together they lifted the door, beyond which stairs descended down into darkness.

Clarke was about to make her way down the stairs when Bellamy put his arm in front of her, blocking her way.

"What do you think you're doing?" Clarke was indignant.

"We don't know what-or who-might be down there. I should go first." Bellamy explained.

Clarke raised her eyebrow at him.

"Did having sex with me make you think I'm weak? You offered to carry my pack before too. I can take care of myself you know." She said. Bellamy looked exasperated, then his expression changed.

Suddenly, he put one of his hands behind his back and advanced towards her. The intensity in his eyes startled Clarke. She started to back away, but he closed the distance between them fast and grabbed her wrist.

"Bellamy! What are you doing? Stop this!" He said nothing, his expression was unreadable. Clarke tried to break his hold on her wrist, he did not let go.

"This is silly, let go of me. If you want to go first so badly, you can." He remained silent, and tightened his grip on her.

"Ow! Let go of me now or I'll hit you." Seeing her exclaim in pain, Bellamy loosened his grip slightly, but still held her. She hit him in his stomach. He grunted but did not let go. She kicked him, he did not seem to feel it. She tried to step on his foot but he moved it out of the way. Well, I guess I will have to fight dirty. Clarke tried to knee him between his legs, but he turned, and did something that tripped her and then she was falling. It seemed to her that he held her up slightly as she fell, not letting her feel the full force of the impact as she hit the ground. Then, suddenly, he was on top of her, and he now held both of her wrists in his one hand. His weight was holding her down. There was something dark and dangerous in his eyes. Clarke didn't think he would really hurt her, but she was instinctively anxious and her heart was beating faster. Bellamy looked at her for a while, silent. Then he finally spoke.

"Well, go ahead Princess, take care of yourself." That made her livid. She did not want to give him the satisfaction of winning. And with his body on top of hers, she could feel his arousal.

"Feels like you're the one who needs to take care of yourself." She said, slightly thrusting her hips up against him to let him know she felt his excitement, hoping to embarrass him. Instead Bellamy gave her a dangerous look, moved his other arm from where he held it behind his back and ran it up her side. She trembled. He won't do anything to me, he's just trying to make a point. Bellamy leaned down, his lips almost touching her ear.

"Looks like I can do anything I want to you." Bellamy said, his voice low, aggressive. She could still feel his hardness pressing against her.

"Okay Bellamy, you've made your point. You're stronger than me." Bellamy still didn't move. What else does he expect me to say? "If there was a male grounder down there, he'd likely be stronger than me too." Clarke continued, hoping her admission would make him let her go.

"That's not how real fights end, if I were a grounder, what do you think I'd do to you?" He sounded like a stranger as he thrust hard against her.

"Bellamy, you're scaring me." She said, her voice shaking. His expression changed and he got off her quickly then.

"I'm sorry, I got carried away." He responded, offering her his hand to help her up. She refused it and got up on her own.

"I wasn't going to do anything to you, I hope you know that" he looked embarrassed as he continued, "me being excited that way is not something I can control being as close to you as I was."

"This is not something you would have done before we…" She left the rest unsaid.

…

"No." Bellamy agreed. She's right, but so what, it's not like it's not normal that the same physical boundaries aren't there after people have sex. He kept that to himself, knowing it's not what she would want to hear. Plus being that close to her filled him with desire. He still pulsed with excitement for her and he wanted his mind clearer before they went into the depot. Talking about the sex they had would not help that, and what if they did run into something or someone dangerous down there? They were silent for a while, and then he started to make his way down, relieved that she waited for him to be the first one to descend.

Their flashlights provided a dim light, but it was enough to see that Emergency Aid Depot #23 was a mess. There was an old corpse on the stairs, and water was leaking through the ceiling. Still, it's possible this place will be warmer in the winter than the dropship, and if not maybe I can hide out here for a time. At least that water looks clean.

"So, why do you want to act like we never had sex?" Bellamy asked Clarke. He knew that she wouldn't appreciate the question, but since he would be gone soon he didn't care. He wanted to know. When she didn't respond, he continued.

"Did you just not like it? Surely I was better at it than Finn?" He sounded uncertain as he said it. Maybe I'm not as good at it as I think I am, Finn must have had a lot of practice with Raven. It's not like I had girls throwing themselves at me back on the Ark. Clarke laughed.

"Bellamy, you were great. Physically you were better than Finn."

"Physically?"

"Yes, physically." She said. Bellamy wanted her to say more.

"Well, why do you want to pretend like we didn't do it then? Why wouldn't you want to do it again?" I must sound pathetic asking this, but if I get an answer it will be worth it.

"Bellamy, it's just not what I want. I'm not looking for a purely physical thing. And why do you care anyway, it's not like you have a shortage of partners."

"What are you looking for?" Bellamy asked. Clarke sighed, but to his relief she kept on talking.

"I want love, commitment, companionship. All those things. I thought I might have them with Finn in time, but…" She sounded so sad that he had an urge to hold her, to comfort her. I want those things too, he thought, I want to be someone's companion, I want to take care of someone, to keep her safe.

"And you don't think I'd be any good at that?" He asked. She seemed genuinely surprised by his question.

"You're being really weird, Bellamy. I don't know how good you'd be at that, you seem to be very committed to your sister so that's something in your favor. But is a relationship something you even want? Just how many of the girls have you slept with down here? Your behavior doesn't exactly make you look like relationship material."

…

"I guess not." Bellamy replied, and Clarke thought he sounded sad. She wondered if she should say something else to him, but then she found blankets and told Bellamy of her discovery. His reaction took her aback. He started to rage at the lack of supplies, raising his voice and kicking over a barrel.

"Oh my god," she suddenly heard him say with wonder, all the rage gone from his voice. When she walked up to him he was holding up a gun and grinning.

Finding the guns changed Bellamy's whole demeanour. Suddenly he was energetic, excited.

"This changes everything. No more running from spears." He said, his voice animated.

"Ready to be a badass, Clarke?" Bellamy asked as he drew a target on one of the blankets and ate another of the nuts that were part of the rations which they brought with them.

Bellamy seemed almost shy as he stood near Clarke. He touched her lightly, and as he was telling her how to hold a gun he was clumsy with his words. Clarke found that endearing. First he holds me down and thrusts against me and now he seems too shy to properly show me how to use a gun. She didn't know what took hold of her then, but she leaned back against him, resting her head on his shoulder. He stiffened.

"What are you doing?" He asked her, confusion in his voice.

"I figured if we were going to replicate the cheesy scene from pre-war movies where a guy stands behind a girl as he teaches her how to use something, we might as well go all the way." Clarke was giggling, wondering if he was going to say that leaning against him did not constitute going all the way. What am I doing?

"I haven't seen any of those. I didn't grow up privileged like you, remember?" His response made Clarke want to change the subject.

"How come you know how to use a gun anyway?"

"I was a cadet for a time." He responded.

"For a time? Trouble taking orders I'm guessing?" Clarke asked him playfully.

"No." Bellamy answered grimly. "I got Octavia discovered. They imprisoned her, floated my mother, and-" She put her hand over his then, wanting to comfort him.

"I'm sorry Bellamy."

"Nevermind." He said, stepping away from her and picking up a gun.

"Watch and learn," he said, aiming at the target.

Clarke found shooting to be unexpectedly exhilarating. She was having fun. Bellamy seemed to be enjoying himself as he watched her, but something was off about him as well. I wonder if he is thinking of what was done to his family on the Ark. Clarke wondered.

Later, they were discussing how they would keep guns around camp and who would have access. As Bellamy was talking, Clarke realized that Bellamy was planning to run. So that's how he's planning to deal with the new arrivals from the Ark. Clarke suddenly felt lost. I have to make him stay, there has to be another way. She confronted him about what she thought he was going to do.

"I don't have a choice, the Ark will be here soon." He said with resignation.

"So you're just gonna leave Octavia?"

"Octavia hates me, she'll be fine."

"You don't know what-"

"I shot the Chancellor! They're gonna kill me, Clarke. Best case scenario they'll lock me up with the grounder for the rest of my life, and there is no way in hell I'm giving Jaha the satisfaction. Keep practicing, I need some air." He walked out.

Clarke found herself feeling strange, and then suddenly she was back in prison on the Ark and her father was there with her.

The hallucination was wearing off just as Dax hit her. It was not long before she regained consciousness. Bellamy. She picked up the gun and staggered outside.

She saw Bellamy on his knees, his face wet from the rain, or was that tears?

"Please, kill me. KIll me! I deserve it. Please..." His voice was trembling. He must be having visions. Clarke watched Bellamy continue to talk to his hallucinations and then Dax hit him, knocking Bellamy to the ground and pointing a gun at his face. He took a shot, but the bullet was a dud. Bellamy was not reacting. I have to do something. I can't let him die.

Not long after she was behind a tree, with Dax shooting at her. Bellamy tackled him then, hitting him, but Dax was strong and Bellamy was not at his best. Soon Dax was choking Bellamy with the gun.

"Get the hell off him!" Clarke ran up to Dax, only to get hit and get knocked down. But that was all the time Bellamy needed to end it.

As Dax was bleeding out, she crawled to lean against a nearby tree. Intense pain was radiating through her side. Bellamy stumbled towards her, his face bloody. He put his hand on her knee protectively and sat down beside her.

"You're okay." Clarke said through heavy breathing. She was relieved.

"No, I'm not."

"My mother… if she knew what I've done. Who I am. She raised me to be better, to be good."

"Bellamy…"

"And all I do is hurt people. I'm a monster." He was crying.

Clarke didn't know how to react, it was so unusual to see him like this. She wanted to comfort him, but she simply didn't know what to say, so she took his hand at first, squeezing it gently in hers. He didn't react. She began to touch his face, wiping his tears away, and before she knew it she was kissing them away. His blood was on her face now, but she didn't care. She was so glad he was alive, and seeing him, with the act he put on in front of others stripped away made her see him in a new light. He is a good man. She was about to kiss his lips when he pushed her away, somewhat roughly.

"Stop this." Bellamy said, to Clarke's confusion. She felt the pain of rejection wash over her, but the look on his face made her feel like she needed to reach him.

"Bellamy, you're not a monster. If this is about the radio, you didn't know. You tried to fix what you did when you learned."

"They still died. Because of me."

"And we have survived because of you." He looked at her then.

"What do you think would have happened to us if you weren't down here? Do you think people like Murphy would have listened to me? You're strong Bellamy, and you've kept us alive. We need you. I need you. Please come back with me." She was pleading with him, her voice full of emotion.

"Jaha will kill me for what I did."

"Maybe not, the Chancellor can pardon people. Once he knows of all that you've done for our survival, he may well pardon you."

"He had your father floated. Do you think he will care about anything I did here?"

"Even if he doesn't care about that, he will care who wanted him dead."

…

The Princess has a point. He almost wished he hadn't stopped her from kissing him before. But what was the use, he didn't want to have physical intimacy with her again only to have her later tell him that she wanted to act like it never happened. The one time he wanted to have something meaningful with another person, he was wanted only for physical comfort. I suppose I deserve it. Bellamy thought, remembering the other girls who he suspected wanted more from him than he was willing to give them.

"And hey, I wasn't as useless in a fight as you tried so hard to prove I'd be." Clarke said playfully.

Bellamy figured she was just trying to lighten the mood, but what she said made the feelings he felt when he saw her in danger, the feelings that made him snap out of whatever was happening to him flood his body again. Instinctively he pressed her against him, thinking of how he would prove to her that he was someone who would take care of her and keep her safe, that he was someone she could trust. It might take time, but she is worth it.

It was then that they saw the acid fog coming.

…