Cheongmyeong 1795

Light was filtering in through the windows when Yunbok opened his eyes. A few hours after dawn, judging from the brightness. He was not surprised the call of the roosters in the backyard did not rouse Jeong-hyang. They had stayed up very late and had fallen asleep not too long ago. Carefully, he moved the hand that lay over him and tucked it under the quilt, peering past her as he did so. Pokkot was still asleep but that was typical of her. Slow to wake and quick to sleep. Sometimes he wondered if that was normal but there had not been any signs of any illness in the last five years. Perhaps it would wear off as she grew older.

He slide out from under the quilt before making his way to the door. To his surprise, there were two basins outside. The water was warm to the touch so they could not have been left there too long ago. Bringing in the basins, he had his morning wash by the door. The water refreshed a tired face but did little to raise his spirits. As he was about leave, he went to the desk and tucked the letters he had written into his jacket. All was silent in the corridor as he closed the door behind him. He could hear faint voices from the kitchen. Glancing down the corridor again, he went to the porch to see Cheol-yu and two of his remaining men, the others had left with Jeongjo, at their daily morning exercises. Not in the mood for company, he moved along the verandah until he turned the corner and sat down in view of the garden.

Eyes half closed, he stared at the flourishing flowers but not really seeing them. Instead, playing before his eyes were memories of the past years. Of a wailing baby by the gorge, the little boy running around like a inquisitive mole, the howls that rose when he broke his arm trying to emulate Suk-kwon's skill at climbing trees, the serious face that insisted that he was old enough to spar with him, the mischief he got into, the quarrels and fights he had with older boys, coming back home looking so angry and so guilty, on and on. Never to see that face again. Were they being too pessimistic? He quashed the hope. No, if he were in P'ado's shoes, he would find it difficult to accept. Whatever affection and respect he had was gone. What would be left in their place?

Horror? Revulsion? Anger at the deception? In one moment, everything he had ever known, the people he held dear, security, home were stripped away. This was exactly what he had worried over years ago when Suk-kwon had proposed they adopt the child. Compassion had motivated him. Perhaps he was selfish too, for desiring a "normal" family that he would do this to a child who should have been adopted by the others in the village. No regrets. He knew what Jeong-hyang would say if she could see what was on his mind. That was he had told her before. He snorted, it was easy to say so then. What about now? The tread of soft footsteps round the corner turned his head towards the sound.

"Master Seo," Song-mi said, setting down the soban she had brought and sitting down herself. "Cheol-yu said you're here so I brought breakfast."

"That is kind of you, thank you," he said, looking at the dishes but he had little appetite.

"Is there something wrong with the food?" she looked to him and the table when he made no move.

"No. There is nothing wrong," he said, smiling apologetically. "I've .. I'm not hungry."

"Would you like to talk about it?"

"It's all right, it's just something I have to sort out." He looked across to the garden once more and missed the disappointment that crossed her face. "If I may ask," he turned back to her, "is there any specific place you would like to settle down at?"

"Why? I thought I'm going back to the Sohn household?" There was no expression on her face.

"You are but if there is some place else you would like to go, it can be arranged." He saw her frown and added, "If you have any relatives you would like to go to or perhaps friends you remembered and so forth."

"I would have gone north to aboji's extended family in Hwanghae, years ago if I had been able." She looked down at her twisting hands. "But it has been so many years."

"If you wish to join them..."

"No. Perhaps..," she began to say before shaking her head. "I do not wish to impose myself on them. I'd prefer to try to find a place of my own."

"I see." Perchance she was afraid of rejection. For all he knew, her relatives might just chased her out solely because of her past and the husband she had married. "If you have no objections, you might want to return to the Sohn household today. I am sending P'ado back to Siheung. Master Han should be leaving for his hometown soon, he can escort the boy."

"Today? Why are you sending him away so soon?"

"He has nothing to do and should return home to attend to his future. We will return later."

"I ... I did not think it will be so soon," she muttered.

"I thought you wanted to return as soon as possible?" Yunbok eyed her curiously. What plans were she thinking of?

"How do you know that?"

"Iseul mentioned in passing of your desire to go back, was she mistaken?" Was that a look of unhappiness? He could not be sure for it was gone quickly.

"I had thought he might come looking for me. I had no wish to be out here, in the wilderness," she said with a little catch in her voice. "It's conjures up the most unpleasant memories."

"Then going back today should ease your anxieties," he said sympathetically, realising the sight and smell of the mountains and hills brought back the old injuries.

"I can stay.., " she suggested softly.

"It is not for me to say." He looked away uneasily when she looked appealingly at him. "The women would appreciate additional help of course.."

"You have no opinion?"

"I'm afraid not. It is for you to decide." He turned back again when she said nothing. There was such a withdrawn look on her face that he wondered what she was thinking of.

"I suppose you are right. I will return to Siheung. When is P'ado setting off?" she said, nodding thoughtfully.

"In an hour or two," he said, relieved.

"I will make my preparations," she said. "If you are not hungry now, perhaps I should bring it away? It will be cold and not good for the body."

He watched silently as she picked up the soban and got to her feet. The last thing he needed was further complications from her, especially if she had the same stance as Kyoung-mi had years ago. He watched her rounded the corner, wondering if he was wrong to think so. He wanted to discuss the aftermath of that painful incident so many years ago, if nothing else, to ease the sin of that cowardly decampment. But her curious responses in all their conversations made him hesitant. It would require better accord between them for such a dialogue that would open old wounds. Best to forget it. It was unlikely it would happen for he would not see her again. He had at least made sure he did right by her with this second chance.

He got up and returned to the porch where Cheol-yu was just finishing breakfast with his men. Catching his eye, Yunbok beckoned and filled him in on the plans of the day. If Suk-kwon was returning, he need only send one of his men. It would be no problem, Cheol-yu declared, taking the letter Yunbok handed to him before going off to the kitchen to arrange for provisions. There was no sign of Hong-do or Suk-kwon so Yunbok made his way to the workroom. He opened the windows to let in the light. The fourth painting stood covered against the wall. He went out to get one of the men, Jong-gwan, to help him move it to the floor and weigh it down carefully. He picked up the paints and brushes they had used the day before, now dried and sticky. The brushes had hardened so he went to the back courtyard to wash them before returning to the workroom to resume work. It was nearly noon when Hong-do finally turned up.

"You are late," said Yunbok, not looking up from the landscape he was filling in, when he heard familiar yawns.

"Had a long talk." Another yawn. "At least, I did. I don't even know if he was listening. He did not say anything. Just stared at the floor." A stifled yawn. "Are you going to..."

"He's going back home today," Yunbok said without looking up. "Suk-kwon, Iseul and Song-mi will all return to Siheung."

"That is fast," came the noncommittal reply.

"I don't think it's fast enough for him. Both Suk-kwon and Young-joon will get him safely home."

"If you are sure..," Hong-do said doubtfully. It was unseemly to him to be "chasing" off the boy when he had not made up his mind. How could a broken link be repaired if the other party did not remain to felicitate rapport? There could be questions he might want to ask.

"Yes." The abrupt statement silenced Hong-do who was about to make other suggestions. There was such a stubborn tone to it that he knew any arguments he made would fall on deaf ears.

"You have to tell him about going back today..," Hong-do began and stopped when Yunbok sat up and put aside his brush.

"Yes, I'll just go and have a word with him now. He should be awake."

"He should still be in his room." Hong-do sighed when Yunbok nodded and left.

Best to do it now before he lose his nerve, thought Yunbok as he made his way to P'ado's room. Fidgeting a little, he took a deep breath as he stood outside the door and called. For a long moment, there was no answer. Just as he was about to go to the garden to see if the boy was there, he heard a low reply. The sight that greeted him when he opened the door was cutting but he did not show it.

"You are returning to Siheung today. Master Park, ajumoni Jang and ajumoni Na will be going with you," he addressed the stiff back that faced him. P'ado did not turn from the bandaji, his hand resting on the edge. "Master Park and ajoshi Han will return to Uiryeong with you. There, it is up to you to decide what you want." Silence. "They will leave after the noon meal. I'll leave you to finish your packing." Still no sound from that unyielding back. Yunbok turned and exited the room, closing the door behind him. It hurt, how it hurt but there was still no tears. When would they come to release this knot in his chest?

He went back to the workroom. Hong-do said nothing when he saw his face. Instead, he passed comments on the fourth painting, pointing out what it was he wanted to be defined. It was a superfluous recap for they had already discussed exhaustively on the topic but he wished to provide some form of distraction to ease Yunbok's distress. That he needed it was clear from the way Yunbok launched into a oratorical rundown. The air of determined attention when he bent to paint. Would he recover from this devastating setback? Hong-do desired to reach out to him but knew not what he should do. The most suitable person who empathised wtih his pain was not he, but Jeong-hyang.

As if conjured by his very thoughts, she appeared. To ask if they want their lunch. Not having had breakfast, Hong-do was all for it but Yunbok preferred to have it later. Rather than pressed him, Jeong-hyang only nodded and left to get Hong-do his meal. Skipping meals was not a good sign. Hong-do decided he would try to get Yunbok away from the painting for the afternoon. Get the both of them to take a walk out there or something for they needed some time to themselves. Even if Yunbok stopped work for a few days, he would not mind.

When lunch arrived with Soon-joo, Hong-do had it quietly before getting back to the painting. Silence reigned. The only sounds were the soft tread of feet, muffled voices, soft neighing. Someone called and then louder when there was no response, accompanied by loud rapping that broke their concentration. Suk-kwon looked in when they answered.

"We're leaving. Are you coming?" he said to Yunbok who hesitated before nodding.

"I'll come too." Hong-do patted Yunbok's shoulder encouragingly as they left the room.

"Let me know when you're returning," Suk-kwon said softly. "He'll get round to it eventually, he's just in shock for now," he added.

"We're prepared. It is all right," Yunbok said calmly. "We might not return at all. We might ask that you send us our belongings when we have settled down."

"If that is what you want," Suk-kwon said, knowing it was useless to argue or even try to persuade Yunbok the outcome may not be as bleak as he visualised. The boy just needed time to think things through. He was confident P'ado would come round to accepting Yunbok.

"These letters are for Young-joon," Yunbok handed them over to Suk-kwon. "The other arrangements, I leave to you."

The small cavalcade was at the courtyard, ready to set off. It looked like Cheol-yu was going to escort them himself for he was standing by his horse. There was no sight of Iseul but P'ado was standing with Pokkot, listening to her chatter, his face shuttered and still. As they approached, Iseul and Jeong-hyang appeared with two covered chanhap which they handed to Cheol-yu. He tied them on the saddles. Jeong-hyang went up to P'ado more slowly, offering him a smaller package. For a moment, it looked as if he would refuse it but he took it, mumbling something Yunbok could not catch and nodding when she spoke softly to him.

The grief in her eyes when she turned away puzzled Iseul immensely but she held her tongue. Suk-kwon had warned her that there was trouble with the three and that it was a private matter. Reaching out to grasp Jeong-hyang's hands, both to comfort her and bid her farewell, she hoped to see her friend returning home in good spirits. Drawing aside, they held a low conversation. Yunbok pretended not to see P'ado's surreptitious retreat as he went up to him for there was one last thing he needed to remind the boy.

"When you see ajoshi Han, keep in mind he does not know of the matter discussed last night." Yunbok waited for a long moment before P'ado spoke up, his eyes elsewhere other than Yunbok.

"Is there anything else?" P'ado murmured, his posture shouting his desire to be gone.

"You have no questions?"

P'ado shook his head. Unable to bear it any longer, he turned away and mounted his horse, leaving a surprised Pokkot to wonder at his behaviour.

"Master Seo, thank you for all you have done for us," came Song-mi's voice from behind Yunbok.

"No thanks is needed," he said, smiling slightly when Jinjia waved to him from her back. "I wish you peace and prosperity."

"Perhaps we will meet again in future," she said before turning away to mount her horse, handing Jinjia to Cheol-yu to carry.

Their farewells said, Iseul got on her horse with Suk-kwon's aid. The cavalcade set off. Those left behind followed them through the gates and watched them disappeared down the trail. Jeong-hyang kept her gaze on P'ado, who never once looked back, until he could not be seen any more. When she turned to return to the house, she found Yunbok had already left. Hong-do was waiting for her, closing the gates behind them.

"You are all right?" he inquired, for she looked rather pale. Pokkot glanced from one to the other. She was confused by the flux of emotions around her these days and could not figure out what were the causes despite the conversations she heard.

"I'm fine. It will be difficult days ahead but I'm sure we can ride them out. I've to get back to the kitchen," she said, feeling that she ought to keep herself busy than going back to her room to mope. "Come along, Pokkot." As long as she had Yunbok with her, she could face anything.

Hong-do watched her hurried away out of sight before returning to the workroom where Yunbok was already hard at work. His aloofness shouted his desire to be left alone. How long before the both of them come to terms with their loss? Would the boy really reject them? He had a few discussions on this with Suk-kwon. Even though his interactions with P'ado was not as long as theirs, he had a good impression of the boy's character. But it was difficult to predict how he would think when the image of a beloved father was smashed to smithereens; both birth and foster father. One was less than honorable, the other was something else than expected. His thoughts were momentarily disrupted when his foot brushed against a soban he did not notice just inside the door of the workroom.

"You could have placed this further to the side," he said, hastily grabbing the bowls before they clattered off the table.

"I just want to finish this," said Yunbok without looking up.

Placing the soban outside, Hong-do sat down at the end of the painting opposite fron Yunbok. Another hour or so, he would get Yunbok to rest. Wetting his brush, he bent to paint. Outside, the shadows gradually lengthened as the sun continued its march. Yunbok rubbed his eyes as the outline was he working on became fuzzy. Blinking rapidly to rid of the haze before his eyes, he bent to the line again but it refused to stay still. It wavered to and fro as he stared at it. A wave of nausea hit him. Little beads of sweat began to form on his face. Tired, he must be really tired.

"I can't concentrate," he said, blotting the sweat away with his sleeve as Hong-do stopped what he was doing.

"You look it too," he said with concern at Yunbok's pale face. "Go and rest."

"All right." Yunbok plopped the brush on top of the bowls of paint and got to his feet, swallowing as another wave of nausea hit him.

That was too easy. Hong -do was surprised as he was expecting an argument. "Are you sick?" he leaped up to grab Yunbok's arm when he wavered unsteadily.

"No, just tired."

"Are you sure? Do you want me to get Jeong-hyang?"

"It's all right. I'll get to my room, it's not far." Yunbok brushed Hong-do's hand away and managed to walk out of the room without collapsing.

He put out a hand to steady himself against the wall as he slowly made his way down the corridor. Why was he so tired? Trembling with effort, he opened the door to his room and nearly vomited. That lunch was bad, he shook his head as clouds seemed to muffle his thoughts and wished he had not done so. Closing the door behind him, he nearly fell to the floor. It must be due to the lack of sleep the night before, he rolled over on his back. Yes, that was it.

"What did he say?" Jeong-hyang said when she heard the soft slap of footsteps behind her, focusing on the task of slicing the meat before her.

"I didn't see him. Ajoshi Kim said he went to rest as he was tired." Pokkot crouched down to put another piece of wood under the stove. "He also said he thought aboji seemed exhausted."

"Exhausted?" Jeong-hyang murmured, the feeling of unease that had been niggling away at her growing at that bit of information.

"I can take over if you want to look in on him," halmoni Jung said, looking up from the pot.

"Thank you, I will," Jeong-hyang said, laying down the knife beside the board before going to the water jar to scoop water to wash her hands.

Brushing her hands to get rid of the bark fibre, Pokkot followed her. Putting on their shoes at the porch, they crossed the small inner courtyard to the sarang now lit with chwadung as the day darkened. After calling a few times outside his room, Jeong-hyang opened the door, hoping she was not catching him at a wrong moment. To her surprise, he was lying on the floor barely a few paces from the door. Surely he could not be in such deep sleep he did not hear her calls?

"Painter ..?" she said, hurrying to his side as Pokkot peered behind her. "Painter?" She reached out to shake him by the shoulder and was shocked by the chill of his face when her hand brushed against his cheek. "Painter?" She grabbed his hand. "Painter!" Frantically, she felt his neck and bent to listen. Shallow breathing. What had happened?! Calm, she had to remain calm.

"Pokkotya, get ajoshi Kim here now," she said over her shoulder. "Quickly!"

Loud thumps went out the door and down the corridor. A young voice was raised, shrill in her alarm. A lower one answered. "Painter!" she slapped Yunbok's face, hoping to get a reaction as she felt his pulse. It was erratic. What was wrong with him? There was no fever, he felt cold to her hands. She went to the bandaji to grab the quilt, throwing it over him.

"What is it?" came Hong-do's voice as he entered the room, a tunggyong in his hand. "Is he ill?"

"I don't know, I can't wake him," she said, trying to warm Yunbok's hand in hers. "No fever, his pulse is not steady, he is cold to the touch and his breathing is shallow. I'm afraid ... master Danwon, do you know what has he eaten today? Did he vomit earlier?"

"I thought you would know?" he said, feeling Yunbok's other hand, alarmed at the chill. "He did not have breakfast, his lunch was late. He came in here before the afternoon snacks were brought. I thought he looked too pale but put it down to a restless night. He did not vomit as far as I know."

"Lunch, what did he eat?" It was already too late to try to get Yunbok to expel what he had eaten for hours had passed. "When?"

"It should be the same as what we had, shouldn't it?" Hong-do tried to recall. "When I came back to the workroom after seeing off the others, there was a soban by the door. I think that was his lunch."

"Is it still there?"

"I think so ...," he broke off as she left hastily. "Stay here, Pokkot," he said as he hastened after.

The girl stared after him before tucking the quilt more firmly about Yunbok. Was he very sick? The coldness of his face frightened her as she touched him tentatively. Was he dead? She held her hand over his nose and was relieved to feel warm breath brushing her palm.

Further down the corridor, the door of the workroom was thrown open. Jeong-hyang saw the soban at once and bent to examine the dishes. The bap was untouched so were the side dishes but the soup bowl was empty. He had simply drank the soup. They had cooked namulguk that day.

"There can't be anything wrong with the soup," Hong-do said as she smelled the bowl. "Are you sure it's food? Maybe something bit him."

"Who brought the soban?" she rubbed the bottom of the bowl, unwilling to dismiss her suspicion as yet and fearing time could be running out for Yunbok.

"I have no idea. It was already there when I came in. Soon-joo perhaps?" he said as she examined the residue on her fingers.

"No, if it was her, she would have collected the soban."

The residue was just tiny bits and fibres of vegetables, nothing odd she could see. She wished Suk-kwon was around, he would surely know if Yunbok was poisoned or just simply ill. His medical knowledge was more extensive than hers.

"She ought to know who prepared it," she said.

Replacing the bowl with a thump that nearly topple the table, she was down the corridor in a flash, heading for the kitchen. Hong-do followed as he tried to think of symptoms of illnesses he knew of that could match the ones Yunbok had. But was it illness? Jeong-hyang's anxiety indicated it was not but who would poison Yunbok? It seemed highly improbable to him.

Halmoni Jung and Soon-joo were surprise. They shook their heads to Jeong-hyang's query about the soban brought to master Seo. No, none of them brought him his lunch. They thought she would attend to him herself for they all knew how devoted she was. To which she made no comment, wishing she had done so and not distracted over P'ado. However, the next statement offered by Su-yeo plunged her anxiety to frightening depths.

"I think mistress Na prepared and brought him the meal. I saw her carrying the soban to the workroom before she left," she said, wondering what was going on as Jeong-hyang and Hong-do rushed away.

"She could not possibly have done it, could she?" gasped Jeong-hyang as she ran back to Yunbok's room, nearly tripping at the porch.

"I'll get one of the men to go after them." Hong-do caught hold of her before she fell. "You keep watch over him." He ran off in the direction of the servants' quarters by the front gates.

Why? Why? What was the reason? It could not be over that tragic incident, could it? Did she not say he was a lifeline? A beacon of hope she held on to through the years to help her withstand the persecution wrought on her? Was it all an elaborate lie? Did he not say she had looked at him with hatred when he spoke to her in the garden at the Sohn residence? Every suspicion crowded about her as Jeong-hyang tried to sort out her thoughts.

She took a deep breath. It was not the time to start worrying over who and why. She should concentrate on making sure he recover consciousness. Instead of rushing in when she reached Yunbok's room, she stopped to gather her composure for she had no wish to further alarm Pokkot. The girl must be bewildered and frightened. She opened the door. Pokkot looke dup anxiously.

"Omoni, is aboji very tired? He does not open his eyes even when I call. He feels so cold," she said, rubbing her hands to warm them after the chill she felt from Yunbok's hands.

"Yes, he is tired, as ajoshi has said so we must let him rest," Jeong-hyang said soothingly as she sat down, picking up Yunbok's arm from under the quilt and noticed in passing that it was drawn right up to his chin. Pokkot's handiwork. The beat was still erratic but it also seemed to be slowing. His breathing was still shallow. "I want to be sure he is all right so let's just sit here, all right?"

"He is sick, isn't he? Omoni never looks so worried whenever he feels tired before," observed Pokkot, blinking rapidly as she looked at Yunbok. "He does not wake up when I shouted into his ear."

"You shouted at him?" Jeong-hyang could not help but laughed, reaching out to hug Pokkot, swallowing her tears. "He will be fine, you'll see." Was she assuring herself or the girl? "Let's try to keep him warm, shall we? Ask the servants for live charcoal."

Pokkot hurried of to do so. Jeong-hyang brought over the hwaro in the corner, preparing the leftover ash and cold charcoal with the small shovel for the fire she would make. As she busied herself, there came the sound of voices, the opening of gates and hoofs galloping away. It was already dusk. Would they have reached Hanseong by now? It would take the most of the night for the agent to reach the city and return with Song-mi. What would have happened by then?

Painter, is this the end for us?