Cheongmyeong 1795
Down the gentle slope they went, moving in and out of streams of sunlight reaching through the trees. Fields of flowers were teeming with bees and butterflies that Pokkot chased after. The calls of the birds echoed through the air, rising and falling with the breeze. His flagging wearied spirits lifted a little as he looked around. A warbler sang nearby. He paused to listen. Its sweet lilting voice seemed to urge him on. She was glad to see him looking more animated, more interested in his surroundings whence he had scarce paid any attention before. When the warbler flew away, they moved on until they reached a small waterfall. The coolness of the glade beckoned so they sat at the edge of the pool to swirl the cold water. Pokkot strolled along the edge, finally stopping near where the water flowed into the pool to peer in, trying to see if there was any fish.
"It's too bad we have no fishing line," he murmured, pointing to the flick of a tail that rapidly vanished.
"We can come on another day. Haraboji Au spoke of fishing at waterfall. This could be the place. We could accompany him one day," she watched him keenly. "Better?"
"I'm thinking too much," he sighed, rubbing his brow. "Or not at all."
"You mean brooding. Stop hiding in the room." She pulled at his hand. "I keep myself busy because I don't want to ponder too much. You should do the same," she looked at the water. "We have already done our laments. It is time to move away from this point of our lives, like the water that's constantly flowing and renewing itself. Isn't ..," she turned back to him and clutched at him in surprise when he kissed her. "Not out here," she pushed him away after a moment.
"That's better than a walk." He put up his hands defensively when she frowned severely at him.
"That's a terrible endearment he showed you," she touched her lips reflectively.
"Is it that terrible?" he grinned when she made a face at him.
"Nobody does that. It's unheard of, stop that!" she slapped his hands away. "Do behave yourself," she scolded.
"You want me to stop brooding, don't you? I'm not right now since you're here to distract me..," he grabbed her hands before she could use them on him. "All right, all right, feeling lively now?"
"Speak for yourself!" she did not resist his pull, only too pleased to see a spark in his eyes which were dull and cloudy before. "But honestly, how do you feel now?" she closed her eyes.
"Less fuzzy, I guess. I didn't feel like doing anything," he admitted, the beat of her heart thrumming through him. "I just ...keep thinking of the past," he murmured.
"You have to stop, it's not doing you any good. Think of the present .."
"I am, right now," he laughed and winced when she bit him. "Ow!" he clapped a hand to his neck.
"You're back to normal," she said primly, drawing away.
"What am I going to say if you leave a mark?" He fingered the bite and looked at his hand. No blood but he was sure there a visible nick.
"Say whatever you like but do," she caught his hand as he made to argue, "take up sparring again. It will enliven you."
"I doubt master Park will ever let me slack off. But you are right," he conceded. "I have never felt so listless before," he sighed. "I still do but it's not so heavy."
"Then spend the rest of this day to spar with master Park. I know that's what you enjoy the most, next to painting," she said.
"No," he shook his head and grinned at her perplexed frown. "What I enjoy most is here. You, here with me."
"Painter, we are not alone," she warned and stifled a grin when he grimaced before sobering. "Before we leave, you really have to settle the question of her intentions."
"I don't know how to open a dialogue with her," he said. "I'm not comfortable with her. I tried the last time we talked. I ended up not saying anything about it. I don't even know how I should ..," he gestured vaguely, "begin to talk about that subject."
"That's your guilt blocking the doorway. If you don't push past it, you never will lay it down, ever."
"What do you suppose she will say if I do manage to do it?" he mused "Because if she really did put in the mushroom, she did not mean to kill me. What did she intend? If it was to cause me pain, there was none of it."
"What did she say to you before she left that day?"
"Nothing out of the ordinary. Thanked me for the help..," he paused. "No, that was when they were leaving, Let me think." He closed his eyes, bringing up the memories of that day. "I asked if she had a specific place to go. She mentioned relatives she was reluctant to impose on. She looked unhappy when I said she could go back to the Sohn residence with P'ado. It seemed she wanted to stay longer and asked for my opinion."
"She's not ready to let go of you," she said with conviction.
"Is it me or something else?"
"Hence, you have to speak to her. That's the only way of finding out. I hope," she paused before continuing in a lower voice, "she's not another Kyoung-mi because I think she might prove to be worse than her."
"We can use another Akeno right now," he said wistfully, recalling the way the young man had cut through to Kyoung-mi years ago. Should he try using the same argument? Whether it would work depended very much on Song-mi's disposition which he felt was a far cry from Kyoung-mi's. "I have a feeling I will need to be creative. Akeno's line of reasoning might not be usable."
"That reminds me, do you want to bring Pokkot to Chinhae?"
"We should." He saw she had the same idea as him. "It's been six years. She ought to visit him."
"I wonder if she remembered Myung-hee," she glanced around.
"Why wouldn't she ...," he stopped when she grabbed his arm. "What?"
"Where's Pokkot? She's not here!"
Alarmed, they leaped to their feet. Yunbok looked around him. It was true, there was no sign of the girl. He ran to the spot where she was last seen and looked into the water, afraid that she had fallen in. Jeong-hyang went around to the other side to search but there was nothing to be seen. She looked across to Yunbok and shook her head. Turning around, he looked at the ground, hoping to find shoe imprints.
"Anything?" she asked when she joined him.
"We'll search this side first," he said, taking her hand. "Come. Pokkotya!" he called, ears straining to hear an answer.
Jeong-hyang added her own call. They looked among the thick shrubs, every large boulder that could shield a child from their gaze, stopping to call every several paces but only the calls of the birds and the buzz of insects could be heard. Their anxiety grew the further they went from the waterfall. Where could she have gone to?
"Where can she be?" Jeong-hyang said anxiously, staring hard at the surroundings, unaware her fingers were digging into his palm. He did not remove her hand.
"She will not have gone far," he said soothingly. "Pokkotya! You hear that?" he pulled her to a stand still.
"Yes! Pokkotya!" she called.
There came a faint answer. Together, they moved towards the sound as it became louder. To their relief, a small figure appeared among the trees.
"Aboji! Omoni!"
"Where did you go?" Jeong-hyang threw her arms around the girl, glad that she was safe. "You shouldn't walk away without telling us."
"I was following a rabbit to its burrow. Aboji, see what I drew!" Pokkot eagerly waved the paper she was grasping at Yunbok. He held it in his hands.
He took in the family of rabbits romping about on the grass and turned the paper about so Jeong-hyang could see. "It is very well done. You put in the spark of life in this one," he pointed to the rabbit on its hunches, ears pricked. "If you add more lines, it will be more alive." He took the charcoal she was holding in her hand and showed her what he meant. "See?"
"It seems to be looking at me," awe in Pokkot's voice. "Teach me, aboji!"
"If you promise not to wander off without telling us. That is reckless of you." He handed the drawing and charcoal back to her as she looked down at her feet at the reprimand.
"I'm sorry. I just saw the rabbit and..," she stopped, aware she was making excuses. "I promise not to do that again. Will you teach me?" she said pleadingly.
"I will teach you, as long as you're mindful to those around you, your surroundings and most importantly, to yourself," he smiled as she nodded solemnly. "Then let's go back to the residence, the day is getting on."
Pokkot turned to Jeong-hyang. "I'm sorry, omoni, for making you worry,"
"Just don't do it again." Jeong-hyang hugged her again before taking her hand. "Let's go back."
"Aboji," Pokkot tugged Yunbok's sleeve. "Carry?"
"What? You're a little old for me to be totting about, isn't it?" he said in astonishment. He did not take the trouble to point out men hardly carry their children about if they were not sick or injured.
"One last time, please?" she blinked rapidly as if she was about to cry.
"What is it?" he crouched down, puzzled but she shook her head. "You do know you are no longer a small girl who still needs to be led about, don't you? You will be a grown up in a few more years, it's time to behave more appropriately."
"Will you send me away too, like oppa?" she could not prevent the sniffle that escaped her.
"Why do you think we will send you away?" said Jeong-hyang.
"But you sent him away suddenly. All of you looked so unhappy. I heard you say he's old enough, that we would be moving elsewhere, why are we going away without oppa?"
"Pokkotya, we might be staying somewhere else without oppa," Jeong-hyang said when Yunbok did not answer. "We've not really decided it should be so, we're just planning."
"Why?"
"It's just..," Jeong-hyang was not sure how to explain it but tried nevertheless to find a suitable excuse. "That we do not agree on a matter. We send him away to think about it rather than have him feel unhappy with us."
"What is this matter? Will he come back?" she looked anxiously at them.
"Perhaps when you're older, we will tell you. As to when he is coming back, we do not know, it is for him to decide."
"Will that happen to me too?"
"We shall see," Yunbok said finally, exchanging a glance with Jeong-hyang, regretful that the fallout was affecting the girl. "The only time you will go away from us is when you get married."
"Then I will not get married, I want to stay with you," Pokkot declared.
"It's early to talk about marriage," he laughed. "All right, come here." He lifted her up and settled her in the crook of his right arm.
"Give me the painting tube and the pouches," Jeong-hyang said, taking them from the girl so she could clasp her arms about Yunbok's neck more easily.
"Luckily, she's still small," he grinned at Jeong-hyang as they returned to the waterfall to get the chanbap they had left behind. "If she's any heavier, I'll have to get a horse."
"I'm not fat," Pokkot protested.
"Aigoo, I never said you are. But if you're any taller and bigger, I definitely cannot carry you."
"Will I be as tall as you?"
"Perhaps." He thought she might be dainty like her birth mother, Myung-hee, given her small size. Akeno was about the same height as Young-joon. Or she might just put on the height later just as P'ado did. The thought of the boy brought a pang that he shoved away as quickly as it came.
"You are only slightly taller than omoni. Did you not eat when you were young?" she asked curiously. "I always hear oppa being told to eat more so he can be bigger and he is taller than you."
"In that, you are right. I am short," he said agreeably. "But not everyone has the same height nor can they decide how big or how wriggly they want to be," he jiggled her about, making her giggle.
"Really, do you want to make her sick? Jeong-hyang frowned disapprovingly but her lips twitched.
"Aboji won't make me sick, I know he will always care for me," Pokkot said confidently, peering at Jeong-hyang who reached to tap her nose. "Aboji, a song?"
"A song! I don't think I have a good voice for singing," he said, as she lightly touched his chin again.
"Please?"
"Hmmm." With amusement, Yunbok thought he should highlight to Suk-kwon that he had overlooked a particular skill in his voice training; singing was not part of the exercises he had gone through years ago. No doubt his pitch would be broken.
"Aboji?"
"Let me think," he smiled at the girl before turning to turn it on Jeong-hyang who smiled in encouragement. There was no one to hear him, besides them so he should not worry too much, she felt. With his left hand, he reached out for hers, waiting till she had transferred the chanhap to her left before grasping her right. Clearing his throat, he sang softly in as low a pitch as he could manage.
Away from humans I have little spare time yet.
Looking at this and listening to that,
I'm wondering when shall I gather chestnuts,
when shall I catch fish,
who shall close the hedge gate;
who shall sweep the fallen flowers?
Away from cares I have time to wonder yet.
Strolling along on this spring day,
I marvel and bask in the warmth of my beloveds
in the joy of their well being
in the music of their happiness
what more can I ask?
Slowly, they made their way back to the mountain retreat, taking turns at a song. Yunbok wondered if Pokkot's other talent lay in singing as he listened to her clear sweet voice as she sang the Nongga wolyeong ga. For this particular teaching song, she did it better than P'ado for she made no mistake. A slight frown furrowed his brow. He should stop this kind of juxtaposing for it kept bringing up the past with P'ado. It was unfair to Pokkot if he could not give her the attention she deserved.
"Did I sing it wrong?" she said, seeing his frown.
"No, you sang it very well. Not a single mistake. Well done!" he praised. Happiness lit her face.
"I think that is a first for her," Jeong-hyang dimpled, pleased that the girl had made an effort.
"Truly? It is something to rejoice over," said Yunbok, "perhaps omoni can make your favourite sweets?"
"No," the girl shook her head.
"Why not?" Jeong-hyang asked, intrigued that Pokkot would not want her candy.
"Because I'll not be able to share them with oppa." The girl did not see the sadness they hid quickly from her.
"Ahhh .. we shall wait for him, shan't we?" said Yunbok, nodding.
"Did you have a good outing?" a voice broke in.
They stopped in surprise to see that they had arrived at the gates of the mountain retreat. Song-mi looked at them inquiringly, a broom in hand, a sleeping Jinjia ensconced like a snail on her back as she stood by the opened gates.
"Yes, indeed," Jeong-hyang murmured as Yunbok put Pokkot down. "Perhaps we can repeat it on another day."
"Something to look forward to. Master Seo," Song-mi greeted politely as Yunbok passed her.
"Mistress Na," he answered, as equally polite, automatically shuttered up when he saw her. It was a natural reflex, one which he was not inclined to change yet. He shook his head slightly at Jeong-hyang when she glanced at him: no, it was not the time.
"Ho, there!" came Suk-kwon's voice when they reached the courtyard. "Catch!"
A staff went flying at Yunbok who caught it deftly. Quickly, Jeong-hyang drew Pokkot aside, moving into the house. If they were sparring, she could concentrate on the rest of the tasks. All in all, it was a good day for them. She was pleased.
"No more slouching today," said Suk-kwon determinedly as Yunbok examined the staff.
"I'm tired from the trip, can we postpone this?" Yunbok affected a bored voice.
"No, no more lying about for you. You haven't been practising for several days now. You will slack. If you don't ache by the end of the day, then I'm doing you no favors."
"Try it!" challenged Yunbok, grinning when Suk-kwon went for him.
The familiar sound of twacking wood filled the air that Jeong-hyang paused at the daecheong with Pokkot. It reminded her of home so much that she longed for the warmer surroundings. It was enough to see Yunbok in stride again. The flutter by the gates drew her eyes. She was too far away to see Song-mi's expression but the woman stood immobile as she watched the duelists. Was that a hint of tension in her posture? What was she thinking about? A slight movement of her head warned Jeong-hyang to move out of the line of sight. Thoughtfully, she walked to the anbang as Pokkot followed.
It took quite a while for Yunbok to regain some of his usual alacrity with the staff. He was not surprised at his sluggishness. It was as Suk-kwon had said, he had not been practising for too long. It was time to change that, he decided as he narrowly escaped an unpleasant jab to the side. Once he returned to painting the screens, he must plan for breaks in which he should be moving about to invigorate himself. It would prevent bouts of enervation.
"Hold!" said Suk-kwon just as he broke Yunbok's attempt to screw the staff out of his hands.
"What's wrong?" said Yunbok, alarmed. Did the older man have another seizure?
"Nothing's wrong but we needn't take it so vigorously as yet." A droplet of sweat dripped off the older man's nose as he leaned on his staff.
"Come master, admit it, your age is catching up with you," Yunbok ducked just as Ban-gung and Jong-gwan came into the courtyard, attracted by the sound of the wooden staffs.
"A bout! Why didn't you call us?" said Jong-gwan, eyes bright.
"A workout is what I need right now." Ban-gung ran off in the direction of the servants' quarters and came back with staffs, one of which he threw to Jong-gwan.
"What, three against one?" Yunbok looked at them in astonishment.
"I can't imagine robbers asking politely if you would like to fight one on one, do you?" Suk-kwon smirked. "And you deserve a pummeling for that "insult"..," he paused momentarily as he peered at Yunbok. "What's that on your neck?"
"An insect bite," Yunbok turned away.
"Insect bite? That's too big to be an insect bite," returned Suk-kwon slyly.
"He's been a busy bee!" laughed Jong-gwan.
"The mushrooms must have other qualities, eh?" Ban-gung added, nudging suggestively at his compatriot.
"You want a bout? Let's get to it!"
Yunbok lunged at Jong-gwan, preferring to distract them than put up with their innuendos. The attack was deflected. The men split up quickly. It would be difficult to maneuver in that courtyard. It was too small for four with staffs but it was a challenge they welcomed. For Yunbok, it tested him to his limits to go against two who had to be some of the better trained soldiers in the King's service. As he surmised, it was not easy to gain the higher ground but he tried his best, often resorting to the tricks Suk-kwon had shown him to get himself out of tight corners. He did not entirely succeed in landing many blows on them but he managed to trip Ban-gung in a brief melee tussle.
"Enough!" called Suk-kwon as Ban-gung rolled and leaped up.
"So soon?" complained Jong-gwan even though he was panting. "I think that's one of the better bouts I've had," he grinned at Ban-gung.
"He's slippery as a fish," laughed Ban-gung. "We should have brought nets."
"Cool off you two," said Suk-kwon, waving at them.
"Our thanks," said the two, bowing to Yunbok who returned it before they moved away, chatting quietly as they walked about slowly.
"Are you feeling all right?" said Yunbok, flapping the edge of his jacket to generate some breeze as he followed Suk-kwon to the porch. "You didn't participate as you used to."
"I'm fine." Using his sleeve, Suk-kwon blotted up the sweat from his face. "I was taking the opportunity to observe."
"They are certainly the best warriors there are." Yunbok looked to the two men strolling about to cool off.
"My eyes were further than them," Suk-kwon shook his head.
"Ah, I should have expected that." Without turning his head, Yunbok flicked his eyes to the gates but they were closed. There was no sign of Song-mi.
"Have you ever wonder why her son is called Jinjia?"
"As a matter of fact, no," Yunbok frowned. "Now that you mention it, his amyeong is interesting. Why false and true?"
"Who do you think gave him the amyeong?"
"It's her," said Yunbok at once. "If it were Ui-sik, he would have probably think of something spurious."
"What do you think it actually meant to her?" Eyes hooded, Suk-kwon rolled the staff between his palms meditatively.
"What is real, what is not? " Yunbok met Suk-kwon's narrowed gaze, not liking where his thoughts were taking him.
"Whatever it is, do not drag it out too long."
Korean Poem
Away from humans I have little spare time yet.
Looking at this and listening to that,
I'm wondering when shall I gather chestnuts,
when shall I catch fish,
who shall close the hedge gate;
who shall sweep the fallen flowers? - sijo by Song Sun (1493 - 1583)