CHAPTER FORTY-SIX
Title: "Salvation: Forever and Always: Elusive Dreams – PART III"
Author: Michelle Heath
Rating: MA for adult situations and language
Summary: Story #9 in the Salvation series. The bonds of family bring the Five-0 ohana even closer.
Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the property of the author!
Date Written: March 10, 2013
(The drive home is quiet for Sam and Steve, but he holds her hand all the way and sends reassuring glances in her direction every chance he gets to do so safely. Sam expresses a desire to take a blanket and go down to the beach for a while and Steve, knowing that the beach behind their house is one of his wife's favorite places to go when she's stressed, willingly agrees. Five minutes later, they are sitting quietly just absorbing the peaceful sound of waves gently washing upon the shore. Though they are sitting close, they are not touching, and Steve knows Sam wants to talk although he also knows he needs to be patient until she's ready to begin. His patience is rewarded a few minutes later.)
"I'm sorry, Steve. I know that's a pretty lame apology, but . . . Do you know how precious you and Emily are to me? I would rather die than hurt either one of you. When I think of what I've put you through since the day I met you, I could . . . Right now, I don't understand myself. I know that, logically, I'm not responsible for my parents' deaths, but, in my heart, I can't help but feel that they would still be alive if I had just gone with them to look at that property."
"Sam, there's no guarantee they would have lived. For all we know, you could have died that night, too. Let me ask you something, Sam. . . Do you believe your parents would have wanted you to die? Do you think they would have wanted you to blame yourself for what happened? They loved you, Baby; they would only want good things for you. Do you remember the dream I told you about when I was shot, the one where I 'saw' your parents talking to mine and to me while I was unconscious?"
"Yeah, Steve, I remember."
"Your mom told me that you were a very special young woman, and your dad said you were very precious and unique. Sounds like to me they loved you very much and were very proud of the woman you had become. If your parents don't blame you for what happened, Sam, how can you blame yourself?"
"You had a dream, Steve."
"Yes, I had a dream, but I think it was more than that, Sam. I didn't know your parents' names until I had that dream, and later, when I saw pictures of your parents, they were the people I saw in my dream."
"Steve."
"You did nothing wrong, Sam, you did nothing to cause your parents to die, and you've got to believe that because it's the truth. Blake Moore is the person who is responsible for killing Anne and Jonathan Murdock and, while he's never been charged with their deaths, he is serving a life sentence in federal prison for the conspiracy he was involved in with Thorne. He is being punished, Sam, and you've got to stop punishing yourself for something that wasn't your fault. Emily and I need you, Baby, and so do Libby and Mike and Caroline. Not one of them thinks you're to blame for what happened to your parents and they all love you very much. I love you, Sam, forever and always."
"This isn't easy for me, Steve. For so many years, I've felt guilty about not agreeing to go with them on that trip. I . . I can't just . . Let it go. It's going to take some time."
"Yeah, I get that, Sam, and I'm going to be right here with you no matter how long it takes. All I ask is that you tell me anytime, no matter what time of the day or night, if you start to feel like you're losing control. I can't help you if you won't let me, Sam, so, please . . Promise me."
(Sam turns her head to look into Steve's beautiful eyes and she sees as the love and concern he has in his heart for her visible there. For the first time in a very long time, Sam actually feels the first stirrings of hope that all will be right with her world again and she reaches out to gently touch his face.)
"I promise. I don't know what I'd do without you, Steve; you and Emily. I hope I never have to find out."
"You won't."
"Steve?"
"Yeah, Sam?"
"Can we just sit out here for a while?"
"Yeah, Sam. We can do whatever you want."
(And for the next hour or so they simply enjoy the moonlight, soft breeze, and the love they share. When they finally do go back up to the house, Steve holds Sam tightly when they go to bed and prays that Sam can put all this behind her and they can move on with their lives. . .
When Libby and Mike get home, it is Libby who takes a glass of Scotch outside and stands on their back deck sipping it slowly as she looks out the waves crashing on the shore. Feeling it a little strange that their roles are reversed on this particular occasion, Mike isn't quite sure what to do. Finally, he decides to do what his wife would do and, after stepping outside to give Libby a hug and kiss and tell her he's there for her, he heads upstairs to bed. Libby sends her husband off to bed with a small smile before strolling over to sit down on the loveseat and think back over every, single detail of what happened when Anne and Jonathan Murdock died and every, single conversation she's had with Sam since then. An hour or so later, Libby has decided that she isn't going to find any answers to the questions she has this way and heads up to bed herself.)