"I have my ways, Severus. If you breathe a word of this to anyone, especially that lemon-drop-sucking old coot, I'll hex you six ways to Sunday!" Petunia sighed, put the letter back into her robes and walked back to the door of Severus' office. "Give him the book back and leave him alone, or I'll be back, understood?" Smiling as he nodded slowly, she closed the door behind her.
Thank Merlin for that, I can't believe I got off easy with her, Severus smiled to himself as he remembered the sweet, but hot-tempered witch who would sneak him potions from his mothers shed. He looked up as he saw the door open again, cursing as he saw Petunia's head poking through. I spoke too soon, bloody hell.
"Oh, Severus," she smirked as she pulled her wand out and sent a stinging hex to his nether regions. "It was good to see you." She laughed as she skipped away.
There goes my sweet, albeit it slightly deranged, Tuney, Severus thought.
Dear Harry,
I have spoken to Severus. Never fear, you will get your book back and if he does not leave you alone I'll have to pay him another visit. I've been getting reports from your teachers and I'm very proud of your grades! I would complain about potions class but knowing the professor, trust that it will not be you who I'll be angry with.
Now what's this about flying class young man? I cannot believe you would be so reckless as to endanger your life in such a way! I don't care if Mr. Malfoy stole your friend's Remembrall, that is for your professors to deal with! That was a very dangerous stunt you pulled Harry James Evans Potter, you will most certainly be punished when you come home for Christmas - I think its high time you reacquaint yourself with the Laundry Room in the Elves' quarters! For Merlin's sake, you haven't even flown on a broom until now, with good reason.
If you had just stopped to think for just a second, you would have realised that Mr. Malfoy was attention seeking, like most bullies do. You said Professor Snape was just like that nasty little boy Piers Polkiss; just remember what happened when he pushed you and Dudley off the swing and tried to beat the both of you up - nobody would help him and because you ignored him he lost his playtime for a month at school. That is exactly what you should do - ignore Mr. Malfoy. I know the Malfoy family - I attended Hogwarts with Lucius and was in Slytherin House with him - they've both been raised to think they are owed the world. Its rather unfortunate for them that nobody told the world. If you cannot sense the sarcasm in that sentence boy, Merlin help me I have no idea what I will do.
As for myself and Dudley, we are doing well. We both miss you. I was speaking to Dudley on the phone earlier and he is enjoying himself at Smeltings. He told me to thank you for helping him with the entrance exams and that the study skills you taught him have really helped him at school, he's very much looking forward to seeing the both of us at Christmas.
In your last letter you mentioned your friends Ron and Hermione, you need to tell me more about them! If Hermione has memorized her potions book then maybe you should ask her to help with you homework - and no, I do not mean to memorize the books. Don't you dare pull a face, Harry, I know what you're like with leaving homework until the last minute.
Now don't forget you have your appointment with Madame Pomfrey on Tuesday to get your vaccination for Dragon Pox. If you miss it, you'll wish I sent a howler! If you have anymore trouble with Professor Snape, owl me.
All my love,
Aunt Tuney.
"What's that Harry?" Ron asked around a mouthful of bacon.
"Its a letter from my Aunt Tuney. She said she talked to Snape, and reamed me out for what happened in flying class." Harry replied, chuckling as Hermione grimaced at Ron's far from perfect table manners.
"She had every right to Harry, I told you not to do it. If you Aunt is anything like my parents, you can bet your vault at Gringotts that there is no way she'll let you onto the Quidditch team." Hermione lectured.
"Oh shut up, you. Don't you have books to read or teachers to suck up to?" Ron near-bellowed, turning back to his food as he watched Hermione get up and walk away.
"Idiot." Harry smacked Ron on the back of the head.
Dear Aunt Tuney,
I don't know what you said to Professor Snape, but it worked, kinda. He gave me a detention scrubbing cauldrons (it was awful!) and gave me the book back. Please don't send me a howler! I swear I didn't do anything to get the detention, he said I was throwing things in the Slytherin's cauldrons, I promise I wasn't! If anything, they've been doing it to us. Its a good job you taught me that charm to only key the cauldron to just me, because I bet you ten galleons that Snape would have given me even more detentions if the potion was just slightly off colour - he's done it before!
That's the third detention he's given me this week, and now he's banging on about how I'm 'just like my father - lazy, arrogant and a bully'. I swear I haven't hurt anyone! Was my dad really a bully Aunt Tuney? I know you said he pulled some mean pranks, but surely not that bad?
All my other classes are good. I'm really enjoying herbology and charms, I guess all those years of helping Mitzi in our greenhouse are paying off. I've got to go now, Hermione's harping on about our charms homework, we only got it today! I better go hide before she finds me.
Love,
Harry.
"Bombarda!" Petunia screamed, blasting open the door to Severus' office. "Care to explain this one, Sev?" She screeched, throwing Harry's latest letter to Severus.