Thank you for the reviews, follows and favourites. They cheer me up.
Chapter 3: Recovery
"I'll be back as soon as I feel I'm able to. The boys will let me know when the case it done." Kate said.
"Alright detective, keep me appraised of your progress." Gates said over the phone.
"I will, Sir. Thank you." She hung up the phone and turned to face Castle. "Looks like you're stuck with me, at least for a couple of days."
"There are worse things I guess." Castle sighed, they had worked a lot of cases together and while they usually got closure it was never a happy ending.
"Really? And here I thought you were my knight in shining armour."
"I am."
"Okay, but I'm no longer a damsel in distress." She said with a smile and a hint of sarcasm.
"No, I guess not." Castle was contemplating what to say next. He didn't want to do anything that would upset her. "So what's the plan for the rest of the day?"
"Go to the loft so you can change your clothes."
He looked down at his crumpled shirt remembering that he was still wearing yesterday's clothes. "Yes, that'd be a good plan. What else?"
Kate looked to the floor, she knew she probably should do but she didn't know whether he would want to. After swallowing nervously she spoke, "I was going to go see Burke."
"That sounds like a good idea."
She now looked up at him in the hope that his next response would be positive. "Would you take me, please?"
His look of shock was not what she expected. "Of course I'll come. Alexis is in school, mother is... I have no idea and I'm not sure I want to know. What else would I be doing?"
"Your real job, writing."
"Oh. Yeah that. It can be done another time. I don't have inspiration at the moment while my muse is upset."
"I told you once I'd break your legs if you ever called me that again."
"Well my legs aren't broken yet."
"I don't have the energy." She exhaled heavily before continuing. "So, you'll come?"
"Yes."
"Thank you." She stood from the stool she was on to stand in front of Castle who was still sat on one to hug him. She needed him to know how much she appreciated him doing this. "I'm going to go shower. The paper will be here now. I'll go get it for you."
"Don't worry about it, I can go." He offered.
"Okay, well I'll go get ready and we can go." She said and then walked off in the direction of the bathroom.
He didn't intend to read the paper unless he had time, his plan was to tidy her apartment. The coffee table was flipped, books were strewn across the floor, beads that came from a vase were everywhere and there was more glass. He set to work firstly clearing up the glass then righting the furniture; leaving the books until last.
He had put the books in a pile as he was going along as he was reaching for the last book that was open he realised it was one of his. It was Heat Rises, open on the page where Rook gets shot. He already knew that she had finished it and he had an idea why it was open on that page. She told him she didn't remember but she must remember something, even if not at first. He had read up that PTSD attacks could bring back the whole memory of the event, he wasn't sure if that would be a good thing or not. If she was like this without remembering it perhaps it was best if it stayed that way. However, he had told her in the moment of desperation that he loved her; he still does. She must feel something too or she wouldn't be letting him in like this. She isn't in a place for a relationship but maybe soon, when she's ready they could give it a go. He heard the shower shut off and promptly shut the book. She wouldn't want him being too nosy so he got back to sorting the books.
He was just completing the last few things when she walked out of her room. "Castle, what are you doing?"
"Erm..." He said nervously, he wasn't expecting a negative response. "I am tidying up."
"But why are you? I thought you were going to read the paper."
"I thought I could be more useful."
"Thank you."
"Not a problem." He replied with a smile.
"Shall we go to the loft then?"
"Yep. Let's go. Oh yes, after grocery shopping, we'll get you a new vase too."
"I can get my own you know."
"I know, it's just you won't do it until you go to a shop and we have the day off and it will bug me that the beads are only in a bag."
"That bugs you?"
"Doesn't it you?"
"Yes but that is because it is my apartment."
"I'm still not getting why you're not up for me getting you a vase."
"Because..."
"Yes?"
"Can we go and I'll think of a reason."
Castle and Beckett first stopped at his loft so that he could change into clean clothes then continued to Dr Burke's office. Castle was impressed at the décor in the reception area, not what would be expected of a police psychiatrist but he was helping Beckett so he would hold nothing against the man. When her name is called she doesn't hear, whatever she is thinking about it has her so lost in thought that even Castle's first nudge doesn't get her attention.
"Beckett, they're calling your name."
"Oh, right." She replies, stands up then walks towards Burke's room. Burke motions for her to sit in the patient's chair. She's glad that this chair is comfortable; given the amount of time she has and likely will have to spend here.
"You moved your appointment forward, Kate. I can see the pain on your face. Can you start with why you are here today?" Burke asked her.
"Something happened yesterday at work, a suspect got the drop on me. I froze and I was back there." Kate recounted the events of yesterday just as she had with Castle including what happened at her apartment. Somehow the topic of conversation graduated to Castle, more specifically her relationship with him. Burke was keen to get Beckett to word herself how she saw her relationship with Castle and how she needed him as a constant in her life.
"He's there for me so often however, I'm not ready for a romantic relationship with Castle. I love him but I can barely look after myself so I can't invest in relationship with another person yet."
"Why can't he be there for you all the time?"
"That's not fair on him, he has a family, his own real job, his own life and I couldn't ask him to be there for me."
"Isn't that up to him to make that choice? He's here, I would say that is a signal he wants to be there for you." Kate's torn inside, she would like him to be the person to look out for her on a daily basis but he's got Alexis and a book to write, he follows her at the precinct but surely he's got enough on his plate. She knows that he would do it the problem is her letting him do so. "Ask him."
"Now?" Burke only nods in response.
Kate walks to the door, opens it and says, "Castle."
Castle looks up to the doorway where he sees his muse stood there with light from the windows in Burke's office streaming through behind her, she's wearing jeans and a jumper having removed the shoes when she sat down. She's looking at him in such a way that he knows just to follow her into the office of his psychiatrist which is something he was originally wary of but seeing as it has been more than twenty minutes since she went in it indicates that she's making some progress.
Burke has pulled a chair that was at his desk over for Castle to sit on. When all three are seated Burke starts.
"Mr Castle, we've been talking about ways Kate can help to deal with PTSD and her symptoms." He looks back to Kate. "Can I tell him?"
"Yeah." Kate replies, allowing him to tell Castle about their discussion.
"Something I've picked up on is that she feels safest when you are around and that you're able to calm her or even help her to control her emotions."
"And I said that I needed something else to depend on because you're not always there."
"I could be."
"Castle, you have a family, books to write, a private life so you shouldn't have to deal with me as well."
"Yes I know but what if I want to."
"I'm not going to be a pet project."
"I would never think of it like that, just two partners looking out for each other."
"It would be more than that and you know it. I can barely do one of the most important parts of my job, arresting people."
"Would you let me be there?" It is as if there is only Castle and Beckett there, he's looking into her eyes searching for any sign that will give her away. She turns to look at the window momentarily before looking back at him. "Kate?"
"Yes."
One word that has lifted weight from shoulders of both people, he knows he can help her and is letting him in and she knows that he'll do his best. She wants to trust him but so many people leave her trust in people is minimal.
The session resumed so that Burke was involved and he discussed ways of coping with PTSD along with what they can both do.
As Kate shook Burke's hand he said to her "Kate, let him in. He will help you."
"Thank you, Carter." Kate replied knowing that it would be best if she did.
"Mister Castle, thank you." Burke says as he shakes Castle's hand.
Before they leave Beckett makes her appointment for next week. When the two are outside they turn to look at one another and both say "Thank you."
"I'll see if you say that again in a few weeks, Castle."
"I mean thank you for letting me in."
"He's right, I need someone that I can rely on to be there and I'm glad it is you. I wouldn't have asked, Burke told me that it should be your decision."
"It is my decision. It is also my decision that we go grocery shopping."
"Seriously, I hoped that you had forgotten about that."
"Forget that you have a distinct lack of food in your apartment?"
"I thought you said that I could invade your place tonight?"
"You can, if we do it today we can get a good start. Not all the fresh stuff, that can be tomorrow or another day this week." He quickly changed the day limit just in case she wanted to stay more than one night.
"Fine."
"We've also got to get you a vase."
"You remember that too?"
"Of course."
"Let's go then."
If you would like to see something else to finish this off then let me know. I've got one chapter planned but trying to finish some others. I've not got much writing time at the moment and I've had a bit of a hard time recently so sorry it has taken so long.
Please review and I hope you've liked it.
THANK YOU