A/N Thank you for the continued reviews, I love the feedback. Keep it up. :) Sorry if this chapter has a few typos. It's like super late and it's too hot to sleep so I figured I'd write. The thing about heat – it doesn't make your brain see typos!

Disclaimer – I own nothing, nada, zilch, that you recognize from SoA. I just like playing in Abel's sandbox.

Chapter Nine

"She's going to lose all of her hair soon, chemo and all. Is there a doctor's note or something that she needs so she can wear a wig or a scarf or somethin'?" Gemma asked the guard as the expressionless man swiped their outstretched limbs with a metal detector.

"You can ask after you leave at the guard desk."

Dixie looked at the other woman grateful that she thought of that. In two weeks from Tuesday she would start Chemo at St. Thomas. Her new doctor was a woman but younger than the other one had been. She had been really cool and it seemed like she knew her stuff. She had given Dixie loads and loads of information and resources that she was still trying to sort through. Tara had come by during the visit and asked some questions and then after she met Dixie and had her meet a HR lady from the hospital who gave her a number of an organization that helped ladies in her position.

Now she was standing next to Gemma in the cold, impersonal jail house that her Old Man was stuck in, waiting to go see him. Since his actual sentencing he had gotten better visitation. They were allowed to meet in a big room with other people, allowed to kiss and have small moments of physical contact – all under the scrutiny of watching guards lined up sporadically. The dress code was still pretty strict though and you couldn't wear hats or scarves on your head. She was relieved that Gemma had thought about that or she would have been stuck when her hair started coming out walking in with...

Nope, not now. Dixie didn't want to think about that.

"Thanks." She said to Gemma.

Gemma just gave her a nod.

"I'll say hello and make myself scarce to give you two a moment." Gemma informed quietly, as they walked through the door.

"Thank you, Gemma. I appreciate this." Dixie replied, finding a seat in a corner of the room that looked quiet. They had to wait for him to be released, it'd be another few minutes.

Gemma smiled benevolently and tucked a strand of Dixie's hair behind her ear. "It'll all work out. I've never seen Tiggy happier than when he's with you. And I've known him for a long, long time, baby girl."

"He makes me pretty happy too." She replied.

"You have to show him you're leaning on the Club. That'll help him deal with this, knowing that you're trusting the Club and the family to support you. He needs to know you're surrounded by the people he trusts the most."

"I am," Dixie replied honestly. She shifted and crossed her legs on the bench of the table they had sat on. It was uncomfortable and metal. She hated this place. It was bland and cold and every time she walked in she felt like the air was being sucked out of her chest. It only made Gemma's advice and words more foreboding. No matter how much time would pass Gemma would always be intimidating to Dixie. Dixie had a pretty good idea that Gemma knew that and didn't mind it one bit. "The Club and Tig – they're the only family I have left."

"And the Club knows it, baby girl." Gemma assured patting her arm.

The room filled with a loud beep, signaling the release of an inmate, and she and Gemma looked towards the door where inmates were filing in slowly. It was early on a Saturday morning – the quietest time they figured that she could tell him. She didn't want to tell him later on when the visiting room was thick with family members. And it would have taken another week or two to process a request for a private visitation. And she wasn't his wife so she probably would have been denied.

Tig, dressed in a blue, faded jumpsuit, filed in with an annoyed smirk in the guard's direction. She stood up anxiously as he found them with his eyes and walked towards them.

"My two favorite girls." He drawled with an excited grin. "To what do I owe this pleasure? Come to see my new outfit – I wore just for you two dolls."

He tugged her to him and wrapped his arms around her tightly. She buried her head into his chest, breathing deep and hating the smell of metal and tired inmate, and closed her eyes for a long moment. Tig tensed underneath her and he nudged her head up studying her face with his blue eyes.

"Hey girl." He muttered to her. She leaned up on her toes and pressed her lips to his. He pressed back, smothering her kiss with his own. They spent countless moments as close as they could possible be in the cold, visitation room before parting. Dixie felt the scrutiny of his eyes on her. He knew that something was wrong, it was in his kiss and the way that he gripped her side even as he greeted Gemma with a hug and a peck.

"How you doing, Tiggy?" Gemma questioned.

"I'm doin' good. What more can I say? I got food, a bed, a bitch on the side." He quipped.

"I'm sure," Gemma shook her head with a smirk. Gemma looked at her and they exchanged looks. She turned to Tig and kissed him on the cheek. "I'll give you two a moment."

Dixie watched her walk away and then settled cross legged on the bench as Tig settled down next to her. She scooted forward running her palms up his jump-suited arms and tangling her fingers into his wild curls. His blue eyes – the ones that haunted her, the ones that she had fallen in love with – stared openly at her.

"I have something to tell you." She started softly, feeling as if her chest was opening like a bleeding wound. "And it won't be easy for you to hear so I just need you to promise to not get upset - to not make the guards come."

He narrowed his eyebrows with wariness. "What's this? What is it? Did someone mess with you? Was it a client – I'll have the Club handle it. Why didn't they handle -"

She put a finger on his lips, silencing him.

"Tig, please. Just promise." Dixie pleaded, leaning forward and pressing her forehead on his. He pressed harder, kissing her lips and nodded curtly.

She grasped his hand with hers and wished she could tell them like she would have if he wasn't...if he wasn't inside she's be in his lap, they'd be naked, and they'd talk it out while he was inside of her. Or after-wards. In some moment that was intimate without anything on the outside pressing in on their words, on them. But instead she was being watched by guards and she had watch where her hands went and how loud her words were.

"About a month ago when I was at the doctors' because of the fainting they sent me in for some testing in Sacramento. They found a lump in my left tit and I was sent in for more testing." Tig's eyes widened and he stiffened as she continued. "I'm...I have breast cancer, baby. It's stage two and I start chemo in two weeks."

Tig shook his head repetitively in disbelief. "What?" He looked at her with pure disbelief. "Naw, naw, baby. You're damn young. You're not...you can't have that. They made a mistake. You take a Prospect and you go back and you make them give it to you straight -"

"Tig, baby." She glanced at the guard who was looking at them with curiosity. Gemma had left the room, no loitering was allowed. Dixie grasped his face and gently made him look at her. "Baby, it's not a mistake. I went in for all of the tests that they could throw at me. It's real. I start chemo in two weeks at St. Thomas. After I complete chemo I'll go in for more testing and they'll schedule surgery to take out the remaining tumors. And then after as soon as I'm strong enough they'll finish up with radiation."

He gripped her arms for a long, strong moment for jumping up off the bench and pacing back and forth.

"Why didn't you say anything?" He shot at her.

"Baby, calm down." She stood up throwing a worried look at the guard staring blatantly at him. Tig caught her gaze and grimaced. He sat back down on the bench and pulled her down next to him. But he stared straight ahead, not looking at her.

"You've known for a month?"

"Yea, baby." Dixie made herself look him the eyes when she told him the truth. "I wanted to know what it was and what the whole deal was before I told anyone. I told Maggie last week and the Club knows. I went in for my final consultation on Tuesday. Tara stopped by and she's helped me get hooked up with support organizations...it's going to be handled."

"I...I can't believe it." He said, his eyes dark and stormy and shocked. "This...this can't be right, babe. You're too young for this shit. Grandmas get breast cancer – soccer moms ...not hot, young sweet things like you."

"Thank you for that compliment, baby." She replied with a small, little smile. "But it effects twenty-something strippers too."

"Well, it shouldn't." He said desperately, his mind still processing the information she had just laid at his feet. His shoulders slumped and he looked at her with sadness in his eyes. "I'm so sorry, baby. Aww, shit...baby...I..."

That's what she needed to hear. Tension rolled off of her and Dixie realized she had been terrified of his reaction. Even more so than she had let herself acknowledge. Dixie glanced at the guard and saw that he was looking in another direction. She wrapped her arms around Tig's shoulders and pulled him close.

"I should have been there with you." Tig threw out bitterly.

"We're going to get through this." She whispered into his ear.

He squeezed her tight, emotion ran through her violently, this was what she needed most of all. Tig's arms around hers, telling her that he was still there, and knowing that as long as he was that she'd be okay. In that moment she believed, she truly believed, that everything was going to be okay.

"I love you, baby." He murmured into her ear, so low that only she could hear.

"I love you too."

They pulled away slowly and her heart ripped when she saw un-shed tears in his eyes. He couldn't cry, he wouldn't cry – not here. Not in this place.

"Alright, we have time. Tell me everything." He ordered, without a beat.

She straightened out on the bench, crossing her leg, and turning to face him. And she told him everything. Everything from the lymph nodes to the types of Chemo and how it would effect her. She told him how the treatment was being covered and what her plans were for work. Full disclosure had to work both ways, after all.

"So you're going to be okay." He stated after she was done. "You're young, you're strong and all that shit. Cancer ain't gonna beat you."

"The prognosis sounds pretty good in my favor but nothing is certain and I'll need to be super careful."

"I trust you to do it right." He said, smoothing her hair with a hand. "You need anything you tell the Club. You don't got to do this shit on your own. Talk to Gemma if you have any questions. She knows the ropes."

"I know, she's been a great help. Everyone has been pulling together, baby. Our freezer is so damn full we had to go borrow a neighbor's."

"That's good." Tig commented, he looked dazed but his voice was lighter. He was trying to pass himself off as fine. But she looked harder at his face, pushed behind the lines of his face, and she saw he was shaken. She felt desperate to put him back to rights before their visit was cut short. Before Gemma returned or the guard told them their time was up. She had to make sure he wasn't so shaken that he wasn't on the ball when he went back inside. If something happened to him on the inside because he was shaken up from the news it would cut her up.

"Baby, I'll be okay." She stated firmly.

He nodded, "Yea, I know. You have to be. Got no other choice, babe."

"That's right. No other choice." She repeated.

Tig's blue eyes flattened and he stared into her eyes and said in a flinty voice. "You got no other choice, babe. You're going to get better."

"I promise." She vowed with everything she had in her. "I'll be okay."

He softened considerably and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

The sound of heels clicking towards them made Dixie look up. Gemma was cautiously coming their way. Her eyes drifted towards Dixie and Dixie gave her a reassuring nod.

"How we doing?" She asked.

"We're okay."

"We're good."

Gemma smiled a little. "That's good to hear, can I sit down or do you need more time?"

"Naw, it's good." Tig answered for them, he swung his legs over bench so Gemma could sit across from them. Dixie twisted around and leaned against the table, turning her head to Gemma as she sat down.

"She's a strong one," Gemma commented nodding at Dixie.

He snaked his arm around her waist and tugged her closer. "Yea, she is."

Dixie rested her head on her man's shoulder, savoring what she knew would be a rare luxury in the next few months.

"She'll be alright, she just needs to lay off the booze and kick her feet up for a few months." Gemma said with a smirk of confidence.

"She's right here." Dixie commented drily.

"I know, darlin'." Gemma returned.

"So what about you, baby?" Dixie asked Tig, changing the subject.

He shrugged non-commitedly. "The same ol', same ol'. I think they're serving turkey for meatless Tuesday so that's a plus."

She shook her head at his humor and couldn't help but look at his face, studying it for expression. He was hiding it, trying to be cool about this, but she knew it wasn't cool and this wasn't going to be easy for either of them. It was barely bearable to pretend that this was just a normal visit, that she just hadn't dropped a bomb in their entire world. Dixie slid her hand on his thigh and squeezed. His eyes flitted over to her and he gave her a half-grin with a wink that she hadn't seen in a while.

"No hand-jobs under the table, Dixie-girl. I had to learn that the hard way." Gemma whispered leaning forward with a twinkle in her eye.

Dixie wasn't a lady so she didn't need to worry about blushing but she did throw a cautious glance at the guards. Tig chuckled and squeezed the small of her back.

"I told the guards your cancer story so I think they have a little heart this visit but not that much heart." Gemma teased knowingly.

They visited like that for a few minutes until Gemma let them have another piece of time together.

They spent it the way they always did their visits. Hands safely in the viewing of whatever guard wanted to get their vicarious jollies off on them and their lips connected. Just small kisses mostly, Tig muttering things to her, and she kissing back in reply and wishing it was more.

When they stood up to say goodbye and she prepared herself for the hardest part of visiting him – walking away – they say their goodbyes quietly. The place they're in doesn't get to hear their words or know what they are thinking or feeling. They don't want to give it anything so personal. Dixie squared her shoulders and kissed her man one last time.

This time he tugged her close to him and repetitively pressed his lips against hers over and over again. Cradling her head in his hands Tig messed her hair up as he savored her lips with an edge that wasn't there at the beginning of their visit.

"You come back as soon as you can." Tig told her.

"Couldn't keep me away, baby." She replied quickly.

Leaning up on she wrapped her arms around his neck and kisses him one last time whispering that she loved him. Before he could grab her up again she stepped away, quickly walking past the incoming Gemma and telling her that she'd meet her at the car.

Dixie didn't look behind her as she walked out of the visitation center. She could feel his eyes watching her and when she was out of his sight she felt them disappear – leaving emptiness in their absence. Dixie barely remembered to ask at the desk about what she needed to bring to them so she could wear a headscarf when her hair started falling out. The guard looked at her with sympathy but she didn't want his sympathy. She just took the paper he handed to her and walked out as soon as she could get past the security measures.

The prison loomed behind her, pressing on her back, and she walked stiffly to the car. Clenching her palms into fists Dixie took several long breathes and fumbled for a cigarette.

"Fuck."

Maggie had taken her cigarettes earlier that week.

"Smokin is bad for you, Dixie. You could get cancer." Gemma appeared behind her. "But I hear pot is excellent for cancer patients." She tapped her the faded surgery scar on her chest. "Also hearts. I'll get you hooked up."

"Thanks." Dixie said quietly.

Gemma wrapped her arm around her shoulder and guided her to the car. "Just get in the car baby, I'll do the rest. The first they go inside is always the hardest. And you got it extra fucked on this round. My opinion – if you two survive this shit then you're pretty much set."

"Fuck, I hope so." Dixie laughed bitterly.

Gemma slid into the driver's seat and started the car.

Dixie turned to the older woman and studied her for a moment before speaking her mind. "Thanks for this Gemma. I don't know what I'd do without you guys."

"It's what family does, baby." Was Gemma's simple reply.

Family.

It's what really mattered at the end, wasn't it?

Dixie was beginning to believe that more and more than she already had.