A/N Hi! Thank you again for so many lovely reviews, I totally enjoy the feedback. I had to re-check my research a little so it took me a little while to get this chapter done. But here it is!

Disclaimer – I own nothing, nada, zilch that you see in Sons of Anarchy.

Chapter Ten

Dixie walked through the cemetery with a small bouquet in her hand.

Tomorrow she went to St. Thomas and pumped poison in her body that would make her hair fall out and the cancer shrink and turn her into a sick mess.

But for today she was going to visit her parents.

The California air breezed around her, tugging on her brown hair, as she walked through headstones to the one she wanted. It was late afternoon and the past two weeks had been full of getting ready for the next day and so much Club. Tig's brothers were always stopping by and checking in on her or sending the Prospects over to do things for her. They had appeared one morning and helped Maggie dismantle and move her chickens off the property. The prospects were tasked at mowing her lawn and keeping the yard-work up under the observing eye of Bobby and the others. Maggie didn't mention it but Dixie knew the Club had told Maggie to look after her and call them if there was anything up.

Dixie walked towards the tombstone that she had gotten for her parents. She remembered the details of purchasing it in a haze. They had been her only family. She had an Aunt and a couple of cousins but they weren't really that close. Her grandparents were gone and she really didn't have much in the way of family. Except for SAMCRO. SAMCRO was the only family that she had now.

But her parents were still part of her.

And the past few weeks she had been thinking about them more and more.

Dixie bent down and put the bouquet of blue and white flowers on the grave. She absently brushed off the simple headstone and sighed. If they were here they'd probably cope with her cancer by drinking themselves into oblivion. To be honest if they were still here she probably wouldn't be. She would have never come back. And if she had she would've had a harder time of it. When she was a kid she admired and looked up to SAMCRO and their women. They were from her side of Charming, they were heroes in her neighborhood. But when she got older she sort of knew that it was bad news to get involved with them. A lot of her older girlfriends went to the Clubhouse when they got of age and when they came back...well...she remembered seeing their younger counterparts around the Club. Girls who used the Club to drown their angst, to deal with their shit.

The same way she had when her parents had died.

But it turned out to the best thing that she had ever done.

"Visiting your parents?"

Dixie turned and saw Jax Teller standing behind her alone. His slicked back blonde hair was a little disheveled and his eyes looked tired.

"Seemed like the thing to do." She replied quietly, tilting her head softly. "Visiting your Dad?"

He studied her for a beat and then nodded curtly. "Yep. I am."

Silence filled the air between them and she was a little unsure what to say to the President of SAMCRO at that moment. She had known him her entire life. He wasn't that much older than her. Neither was Tara. Not like the difference between her and Tig and her and Gemma. They came out of the same place. They came out of Charming, out of SAMCRO. Just in different ways.

Jax stepped forward and acknowledged her parents head stone respectfully.

"I remember your Mom made good cookies for the bake sale my Mom threw each year. I used to snag them and make Gemma pissed."

Dixie chuckled and shook her head. She leaned up against a large headstone in front of her parents and sighed. "Yea, Mom always liked to bake. Gemma's just lucky she didn't get drunk and forget what not to include in the children's bake sale goods."

Jax shook his head with a grin. "You're parents knew how to party."

Dixie sighed, memories of her parents habits fluttering through her mind.

The President of SAMCRO studied her for a moment before leaning against the headstone she was and slinging a paternal arm around her shoulder. They stayed like that, silent, contemplating separately. Jax drew out a smoke and offered her one.

"Will you tell?" She asked warily.

He smirked. "Not if you don't, babe."

She took one gratefully and let him light it up for her. She inhaled the nicotine and blew out slowly. She really hadn't been much of a smoker but since stopping when she came out with her diagnosis she found that she had really relied on it after all.

"This is my last one." She sighed. "Maggie raided my room the day after I told her."

"That blows." He said shaking his head. Jax left his arm around her waist and she was struck with how familial it was. Before she hooked up with Tig Jax had barely touched her. He and Tara had the real deal thing going and she had always had a little extra respect for him because of it. Since she was inked and was officially Tig's Old Lady that barrier was lifted. She wasn't eligible pussy so she wasn't a threat or a disrespect to any one's lady.

She puffed on her smoke and stared at her parent's headstone.

"How you doin' with all of this, darlin'?" Jax asked after several long moments of quiet. She looked up at him and he looked at her with concern.

"I'm still not sure. Hell, I don't think I'll know when it's over." Dixie replied truthfully.

"I hear ya." Jax replied smoking his smoke and looking out at the expanse of cemetery before them. He tightened his grip on her shoulder for a moment. "You got everything you need?"

"Yea, I picked up a job at the grocery store that's got cancer-friendly hours and the treatment plan is all set up."

Jax Teller furrowed his brows. "Grocery store?"
Dixie shrugged. "I can't exactly strip bald-headed."

"Well, I'm sure there's a niche for that." He said with a twinkle in his eyes.

"Yea, but I'm not one of those girls from the Jelly Bean." She returned with a twisted little smile.

Jax grinned back and shook his head. "No, no you're not, doll."

The President's expression turned considerate. "Why don't you come pick up hours at the shop? Answering phones has to be easier than stocking shelves. Tara mentioned that we could find you a place up at Cara-Cara but I was thinking the shop would be a better fit."

"I'd really appreciate that, Jax." Dixie was incredibly touched at his solution. It would be great to be close to the Clubhouse, to the guys. "Thank you, so much."

"Mom could use the time to spend with the boys. You can call in sick whenever you need. Take a nap in the clubhouse if you get tired. Smoke as much weed as you need – or want. We'll work it out." He stated. "We're all here for you, Dixie. If you need anything you just gotta ask."

"I know and I can't tell you how much I appreciate the support." She replied. Dixie took a drag from her cigarette and ran her hand through her hair.

"You're no virgin to the life, Dixie. You know how it goes. A member goes inside it's the Club job to see to his family while he does his time. Tig needs you whole as possible when he comes back. And it's our job to make it happen. We may not be able to cure your cancer but we'll see you right." Jax reminded her. He got up and stood in front of her, making her look up at him. "You were the Club's girl before you were just Tig's. You're parents may be gone, Dixie, but you're not without family. You're not doing this shit alone."

It was the simple words of the man she had known her entire life and the important statement of the President of the Club that she had been a background to for years that made her want to cry. The affirmation that the ties she felt to the Club were returned. Not just because Tig loved her but because of the shit that happened before. Dixie was a no-regret kind of girl. No shame or hesitation with the journey of her evolving life. It just meant a damn whole lot to her to hear what she was feeling wasn't just smoke.

"Thanks, Jax." She said quietly.

Jax leaned down and pressed a brotherly kiss to her forehead.

"No problem, darlin'."

Jax escorted to her car and sent her home, telling her to get some rest. Dixie went home and found it empty. Maggie was spending more and more time with her chickens now that they weren't on the property anymore. She wasn't tired but she didn't have anywhere else to be. Not wanting to disobey Jax's order to rest she curled up on a couch and flipped through old pictures. She had pictures of her from before her parent's died. She had lived in all of the major cities, New York to L.A., she had gone big town and little town. Some of her friends she had let go and some – like her friends in Seattle – she had kept. None of them would have pegged her for this life. But she had always been good at trying on different hats. The only hat she had kept shelved was the one she had at home. Turned out that hat was the real one she was supposed to be wearing the entire time.

Dixie pushed away the album and spent the rest of the day taking it easy. Gemma came over with Chucky to sort out her freezer and take some of the stuff she wouldn't eat or have the stomach for later to the Clubhouse.

"Jax talked to me about his idea for you in the shop." Gemma said, sitting down next to her. She eyed the album that Dixie had abandoned but continued talking. "When you start adjusting to chemo you just let me know. This is the Club's way of helping you out and keeping you close. If you just want to sit in the office and get high the entire time I don't think they'll care."

Dixie shook her head. "I'm supposed to treat life as normal as I can without risking my health. I'm actually looking forward to it."

Gemma nodded in approval. "That's a good idea, doll. Keep yourself busy."

Maggie walked by and Gemma looked at her. "Honey, get us some coffee. And keep Chucky occupied, he gets antsy when he's left alone."

"Yes, ma'am." Maggie replied with a smile.

"She's a nice one to have around." Gemma commented drily. "I like her better than that blue-haired one and ...what was her name? The blonde that Happy kept knocking off the pool table..."

"Hannah – she stole all my shit."

"She did? Bitch."

"Yea, last I heard she was sucking the cock of some drug dealer in Oakland."

"Classy." Gemma snorted.

Dixie leaned back on the couch and nodded. "Maggie's a sweetheart. A little out there but she's a good friend."
"If she gives you any trouble though don't be afraid to push her around. That's the fun part about having that crow on your chest."

Dixie had no intention of pushing Maggie around and didn't have any expectation of having to be disappointed in her. Another sweet-butt who gave her crap? Hell yea. It was kind of nice not having to worry about what to do if a girl went all back-stabby. One less thing on the back of her mind.

"I don't think that's going to be a problem. Have you noticed whose favoring her in the Clubhouse?"

"Favoring?" Gemma asked, furrowing her brow.

"Yea, whose she a favorite too?"

"Pussy is a pussy, doll." Gemma shrugged.

Dixie compressed a smile and shook her head. "Before Tig went inside she was one of Happy and Chib's favorites."

"I don't pay attention to that shit, darlin'. Let the boys figure out where their cock is going and let's us just keep our boy's cocks inside us." Gemma reasoned.

Dixie guessed that was so, even so she wondered what was going in the Club. She was so out of the loop. At first with dealing with Tig going inside and then the diagnosis. She didn't want her illness stealing that away or distancing her from her life. She wanted to be inside her life not on the outside.

"Very true."

Maggie brought a tray out and asked if they needed anything else.

"No, we're good. Don't forget Chucky." Gemma said.

Maggie went to find him on the porch with a star chart. She was going to do his astrology signs or something.

Gemma picked up Dixie's photos and looked at them absently.

"You really did travel, didn't you?"

Dixie nodded and picked up an old Polaroid from her time in New Orleans. "I went all over."

"You're Mom used to tell me where you were whenever I ran into her. I can't imagine how she kept track of you all those years."

"Oh they managed." Dixie replied ruefully. They always seemed to know how to get a hold of her when they needed something.

"I bet they did."

Gemma lapsed for a moment and smiled flipping through the album. "You should start one with SAMCRO. Start chronicling the life and times of Tiggy's Old Lady."

"Hmm...chemo and jail visits. The life and times..." Dixie retorted. She leaned up and picked up another photo. "I loved traveling but I didn't realize what I was missing until I came home."

"I don't normally pay attention to sweet-butts unless they stick around for more than a few months. I was sure you were going to leave. But you stayed, got a little more sober, and got yourself a patch. You're Mama would be proud."

Dixie sighed, unsure if that was the case or if her Mama had any thoughts about her future at all. "I hope so."

"I'm sure. You know, you're Dad hung around the Club but he was too drunk to be patched in. You're Mama stood by him but she was a little like you before you're Dad came along. The Club was new in Charming and she met your Daddy soon after she started hanging out around the Club. It was love at first drink with those two."

Gemma stayed for a little while longer while Maggie kept Chucky occupied. Dixie appreciated her visit and in the back of her mind she knew that Gemma was honoring her history and friendship with Tig by stopping by and by getting so involved. She was pretty sure she'd never know what Gemma really thought about her but she didn't care. There were bigger things to worry after and she was grateful for the support and advice regardless of where it came from.

The next morning Dixie woke up bright and early and slowly got ready for her first day of her first round of chemo. She had packed a bag the night before – magazines, water, extra socks, blankets, a book, a change of clothes, organic yarn to start a crochet project – Dixie may have over packed. But she wanted to be prepared for anything. Although she was pretty sure she wouldn't have the energy to crochet or the attention span to read a book. Maggie was going to take her in her car and pick her up. Dixie wanted to do it alone but before she went to bed Tara had called her and said that the boys had decided that Chip was going to drive her there and back. She wasn't sure if that was because something was happening or the boys just wanted to extend more help. She didn't really want to ask.

Dixie made coffee and ate a light breakfast while trying not to listen to Maggie having morning sex with what sounded to be like...well...she wasn't sure. They were making sounds but not too coherent of sounds.

Dixie pulled her hair back and tried not to think, as she felt her strands in her hands, that this might be one of the last times she held her hair in her hands. She didn't want to think about being bald. Instead she drank her coffee and picked out her clothes. She was supposed to get her chemo through a IV because she had declined to have a port put in. She knew that she would have to deal with getting her breast chopped into. She didn't want anything else to disfigure her. They recommended in the brochures and pamphlets that she wear loose, comfortable layers. So she pulled on a her favorite sweatpants outfit and called it a day. She already missed spending time on her appearance, worrying about her hair and her make-up. But...Dixie knew at the end of the day she would feel awful and she wouldn't want to deal with any of it.

Besides...Tig wasn't around so she really didn't need to go all out. That's what she told herself.

Maggie came out of her bedroom in a rush while Dixie was fixing herself some breakfast.

"I was going to fix you breakfast!" She rushed out, her hair a mess and her robe sloppily tied.

"It's okay, I got it while you were waking up."

The Son that Maggie had been doing ambled out shrugging on his cut.

"Morning, want some coffee?" She asked Juice.

"Sure thing...I mean...I can get it." Juice said quickly. "You need a ride to treatment?"

"Chip's taking us." Dixie replied. Maggie began to pour juice into a glass and stuck it in her face.

"You have to drink a lot of liquids." She explained.

"Yes, I know. I've had like two cups of coffee already."

"Coffee dehydrates." Maggie stated flatly.

"Actually studies show that it doesn't." Juice interjected helpfully. He started pulling on his boots and looked up at them. "If you don't need anything I'm going to head out. Have some work to do for Jax."

"We're good."

"I'll take very good care of her."

"I'll call Chip and remind him." Juice walked over and pulled her into a surprise hug. "Good luck today, Dixie."

"Thanks."

"Anytime." He replied. "Let us know if you need anything."

Maggie gave a cute but solemn salute and Dixie nodded.

Juice left and Maggie went to find fresh underwear and hospital friendly clothing as well. Dixie fiddled nervously on the couch until Chip pulled up. Her heart slammed into her chest in a surprise anxiety move and she struggled to breath. Deep breath, deep breath, deep breath.

Chip let himself in and she masked her discomfort by smiling at him. "Good morning, Chip."

"Good morning, Dixie." He replied. "I'm ready when you are, just let me know if you need anything. I'm supposed to be with you all day unless they need me."

Dixie nodded at him and unclenched her fists she had hidden in her side. Chip looked around and then jumped suddenly as if remembering something.

"Tig told Bobby to make sure you got this before your first treatment but he forgot to send it over. He gave it to me instead." He pulled out something from his cut. It was a tube, a lotion tube. "He said it was your favorite."

Lavender lotion.

Nodding, her throat lumpy and her eyes stinging with emotion, Dixie took the lotion and carefully opened it. Like she had before...so many fucking times before...she carefully applied a light layer of lavender lotion onto her hands. No one would have known about this. Not even Bobby – he didn't pay attention to the rituals of any of the girls . No one but her Tig would know that she would need this today. Even she had forgotten to put it into her alarmingly large chemo-treatment bag.

The panic ebbed away and Maggie came out of her room ready to go and Chip carried their things to the car. Maggie fussed over her, Chip looked nervous, and Dixie was ready. She wasn't really ready. But she knew she would never, ever be ready for this completely. But she was calm as she could muster, she had to do this, this was going to happen, and she had accepted in some small part that it just was going to happen. Dixie didn't cry – she wouldn't let it have the satisfaction.

But she knew, even though she felt calmer, that this day would change her life forever. This day was never going to ever go away in her memory.

Today was the day she began to fight cancer.