Author's Note: I'm not dead!…I'm not dead?…Well… that's news to me…

Anyway, this is one of my shortest chapters so far, so I'm posting it as a double-feature. Hooray!

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…Where the (BLEEP) do I get off saying something like that! I am FOUR! (BLEEP)ING! MONTHS! LATE! Dear God in Heaven, I am so sorry everybody. Thing is, my dad has made it virtually impossible for me to write now. He's gotten it into his head that it doesn't matter how much practice I have if I don't read literature that he picks out for me.

So, updates are now going to come at the beginning of each month; I have several chapters already prepared, so that should last for a few months. It's looking like it'll end off at a clean twenty-five chapters, so I'm more than halfway finished the story. At the current rate I'm going at, I should be done by the time I turn thirty. RAGE! Anyway, enough of my problems, you're here for Jonathan, Charlotte and the cast of Castlevania…and their problems…I guess. Why are they more important than me?

Chapter XVII

Interlude, or, Second Mission Briefing /and/ Replacing the 'Dress'

The hunters left Scarlet behind at the soonest possible opportunity after they had made sure Alucard had sufficiently recovered. It had taken a while, but they finally made it back to the front courtyard. Oliver was there as usual. He was also looking scared out of his wits, the reason for being so hovering at his side.

"Good hunters, I have something that you may be interested in hearing," Death rasped grimly, "You see—"

"Actually, I have something I want to ask you first," Charlotte interjected, "Why haven't we seen any sign of you in the castle yet? We destroyed Camilla hours ago."

"In a hurry, are you?" Death responded caustically, "You've been doing shoddy work, hunters. Camilla is alive, if only just barely, and her barrier against my physical presence is still in effect. In fact none of your intended targets are dead yet."

"What! How is that possible?"

"Slogra and Gaibon have reported that Camilla has disappeared from the castle, meaning that she is now confined to the uppermost levels of the castle. I imagine that must be where Orlok has been taken as well. Another presence I have found that I recognize is an old friend of yours, Alucard."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm sorry, but I can't tell you. Giving away petty specifics such as that is not among the privileges granted to me by God. I can only confirm things that you already have suspicions about. Besides, I would hate to…er…kill…the suspense, if you could pardon the pun, thank you."

"Hmph, very well," Alucard conceded.

"So based on what you have told us, it sounds like Alastor is bringing a bunch of dead vampires to the pinnacle of the castle. What's he doing with them exactly?" Jonathan asked.

"If I knew that, I wouldn't necessarily need your help, now would I?"

"A-Anyway," Oliver stuttered, glancing nervously at Death every few seconds, "Under t-the c-circums-stances, you only, uh, hav-ve t-to worry ab-bout Alastor now, s-so he should be y-your target now."

"Cowardly fool," Death muttered shaking his head.

"Say, have we gotten stocked up on potions since last time we came out here?" Charlotte asked.

"I don't think so. With all the monsters in the castle, I've almost run out," Jonathan established, checking his bag, "How are you guys holding up?"

"Loretta still has all of hers, but I don't have any," Stella said airily, "I think we'll manage though."

"I am perfectly fine at the present, Maria has not fought a great deal so she has most of hers left as well," Alucard confirmed.

"Between use we shouldn't have a problem then," Charlotte said, "Let's not waste any money, we can afford to hold onto."

"Fine with me," Jonathan grinned.

"Slogra and Gaibon have assisted Oliver in procuring a map showing the details of the remaining areas of the castle that you have yet to investigate," Death rumbled.

"Uh, y-yeah." Oliver continued shakily, "Slogra… he, uh, said th-that they couldn't find out any details about the pinnacle, b-but they explored the remainder of the castle. You'll need to m-make y-your way through, er, two more areas to reach the top floors. I'll be charging you one thousand dollars for it, but that shouldn't be too much of a stretch for you guys at this point, right?"

"No, not at all. We'll take it," Jonathan decided, handing the money over.

"Okay, here you go," Oliver reached into his backpack and drew out a map detailing the upper levels of the castle.

"We don't really know what to expect there so we can't just go rushing in," Stella said warily.

"Well then, Death, considering that you owe us for trying to kill us several times, you're going to send Slogra and Gaibon in ahead of us," Jonathan decided.

Death snapped his skeletal fingers, and the two aforementioned demons appeared, both smirking unsettlingly.

"Guess again," Slogra hissed, "We may be expendable, but we are at least valued members of Death's guard. You on the other hand are working for the frightened whelp over there," Gaibon raised a clawed wing to point at Oliver. He made a noise like a shaky snarl and it occurred to the hunters that the demon was laughing. "You'll be getting no direct assistance from us."

"How about indirect assistance?" Jonathan asked cheekily.

"That is up to our good master's judgment," Slogra answered before vanishing.

"I'm afraid that you shall be going up there alone," Death said in an obviously unconcerned tone of voice, "I would not worry too much. There are five of you after all. Six if you count the reincarnated Maria Renard."

"So it's true? I really am the reincarnation of a girl from over a hundred years ago?"

"I have no doubt of that now," Death replied. "Your abilities and your otherwise unexplained knowledge of facts that should be beyond your comprehension have proved this."

"This is so weird! What does this mean?" Maria groaned, "Am I her or am I, well, me? Or am I myself even though I'm supposed to be her?"

"That is your choice alone, miss Fox. Only you are able to answer that question." Death snapped his fingers, and familiar ripple in the air appeared as he vanished inside the distortion.

"Oh, thank you merciful God!" Oliver gasped.

"He probably heard that you know," Jonathan warned with a smirk. The young Ecclesian groaned at that.

"Alucard, what did Death mean when he said that being her or me is my choice alone?" Maria asked.

"I should think that the answer is obvious, but I suppose I can afford to give you a clue without forcing you to overlook your own intelligence."

"What in the world does that mean?"

"It means that you must find that answer on your own. I can help you, but I cannot answer it for you."

"Oh. R-Right. So what would that clue that you would give me be?"

"It is as follows: Your name is Mariabella Fox, is it not? That is what you have called yourself all your life if I m not mistaken."

"Well, Maria Fox, yes, but what about it?"

"I will not say anything else. This is your own quest, for you to complete on your own."

Maria groaned, "That isn't any help to me at all."

"Not immediately. But should you ponder the notion for a while, I am confident that you will be closer to an answer than you are now."

"Um, excuse me, Oliver?" Loretta whispered, walking up to the young man. He seemed a bit oblivious to her first prompt so she tapped him on the shoulder and waved her hand in front of his face.

"Huh? Oh! Uh, hey, why are we whispering?"

"Sorry, I just wanted to surprise my sister. You've noticed the dreadful condition of her outfit, right?"

"It's hard not to. To say it's in tatters is an overstatement. Actually, it's not an overstatement; it's just fundamentally incorrect."

"So true. She desperately needs new clothes because her dress is almost at the point where it just won't hold itself up anymore. It can barely be called a 'dress' anymore as it is. So, I was hoping you had something that would fit her."

"Of course!" Still a whisper, "Let's see what we have here," Oliver began hunting through a large wardrobe near the spot on the ground that he was keeping his weapons. "I've got this royal blue leather-reinforced dress. Specially made for a lady who wants to look good while retaining full mobility."

"Eww. Blue is not her color. Sorry, but do you have anything else?"

"How about this crimson leather women's fencing uniform? It'd suit her fighting style."

"Better, but she needs to look at least a bit flamboyant. She'd never accept anything that didn't draw attention. It has to stand out in some way."

Oliver put a hand to his chin, looking around at nothing in particular, "Stand out… Stand out… I have an idea. If the rest of you start to leave soon, just stall for a minute. I can fix this thing up to make it look extravagant in a jiffy."

"Okay, I'll see what you can cook up," Loretta agreed.

Meanwhile, Charlotte was pouring over the map, having no small amount of difficulty making heads or tails of it.

"The map isn't perfectly clear, but judging by the placement of the stairs, I'd assume that the closest route to the upper levels of the castle is relatively nearby," Charlotte announced.

"To be just a bit less, er, ambiguous about it, I'm pretty sure its somewhere in the foyers near the entrance, though considering how we didn't even notice it when we were last going through there, I'd say it's hidden, or at least somewhere we haven't looked," Jonathan elaborated.

"Are you calling me redundant?" Charlotte said in a somewhat characteristically haughty tone.

"No, but you did say, 'the closest route to the upper levels of the castle is relatively nearby.' I mean even I see the problem with that sentence. It was somewhat ambiguous, and if it's the closest route, then of course it's nearby."

"Not necessarily!" Charlotte exclaimed defensively, "Okay, fine, I messed up there. I blame you! You're a bad influence on my intelligence!"

"No problem, I won't stop you. It's a free country after all."

A few minutes into the 'lovers quarrel,' Oliver discretely made his way over to Loretta.

"Hey, Loretta?" Oliver whispered to the younger Lecarde sister, "It's ready."

"That was fast. How could you have finished sewing anything in such a short amount of time?"

"Sew? I can't sew. I used matter synthesis by doing an altered form of the techniques described in a book that Death loaned me. It took a few tries and some really creepy results, but I finally ended up with a final product that I'm sure she'll like. Have a look."

Oliver showed her a new outfit displayed on a mannequin in the wardrobe. It was clearly based on the fencer's uniform, but there were several clear differences:

Instead of just the bright red breaches and shirt, it was now in five distinct pieces: A dark red low-cut top with a plunging neckline and an elevated collar, a matching swallowtail cape, a pair of tight black pants, and a combat skirt that cut off a few inches above the ankles of a pair of black knee-high boots.

"Well, while I'm sure it'll cost a fortune based on the cost of materials, but it certainly doesn't look that expensive."

Oliver coughed, although Loretta was almost positive that she had heard him say what sounded like, "thirty-three thousand, eight hundred."

"Aside from that, it certainly stands out. The costume aspect is terrific. I just know she'll love this split…double…cape? Thing?"

"That's called a swallowtail cape. Because as you can see, it's shaped like a swallow's tail."

"I suppose that's…kind of interesting. Actually, despite the fact that I know she'll be thrilled about the plunging neckline, isn't that kind of reckless? I mean her vitals would be completely exposed."

"That's been thought of. Try to put your hand through the part of the shirt that's open."

Loretta complied and was astonished when she couldn't push through it without moving the whole front of the garment. "I can't understand this? What's happening when I put my hand near the neckline? It feels like there's still something there, but I can't see anything."

"Have you ever heard the story of the Emperor's New Clothes?"

"Yes, and the reference doesn't exactly inspire confidence," Loretta said warily, eyes narrowing at the merchant.

"I understand your concern. Don't worry; it's not like that. It's invisible leather from a positively chimeric monster called a chimeleon."

"Er, what? A Ky-mee-leon? What exactly is that, if I may be so bold as to ask?"

"It's like a particularly violent ram with legs and paws like a lion, fangs, and it's covered with scales. It can blend with its surroundings, hence the cross between the words 'chimera' and 'chameleon.' Since it's a magical monster however, its chameleon-like abilities are much more effective: It can literally become invisible, and if it's killed in that state, it stays that way and you can make invisible objects out of its hide. Not the most useful material for clothing, but it can be used for—"

"I'm sorry, but we need to keep this quick. I'd like to hear more about this thing later, but if it's going to be a long explanation, then it'll have to wait."

"Oh…okay…" Oliver said, sounding downtrodden.

"You can keep telling me about the outfit though." Loretta consoled him. He perked up almost immediately.

"It's got extra reinforcement over her pressure points, so it'll be harder for her opponents to immobilize her if they're trying to use them to their advantage. Everything has a thin layer of comfortable padding on the inside so that it won't feel like she's only wearing armor. The shirt's bust provides complete support, and is particularly solid on the outside. Knowing her at all, I'm sure she'd be mortified of wearing a bra along with a plunging neckline."

"My sister has absolutely no shame, does she?"

"She certainly has a…unique fashion sense. At least she's obviously quite confident about her sexuality."

"I suppose that's true. So how much was it? Thirty-three thousand, eight hundred, right? We still have that much," she took out the pouch of coins and paid with exact change.

"Okay, you're free to take it when you're ready," Oliver nodded, and began sorting the coins and bags out on a wooden plank that he'd elevated to the height of a desk using some cardboard boxes.

"Oh, Stella, I have something for you," Loretta sang out, she pulled the mannequin over to where she was standing to show Stella the new armor. The girl in question went wide-eyed in excitement the moment she saw it.

"Well I'd have preferred heels, but…wow, this is a wonder."

"Okay, we've got the proper coordinates," Jonathan shouted before noticing the altered fencing uniform. "Now, normally I'd wait for something that was obviously so sexy—Ow!" he yelped as Charlotte smacked him with her encyclopedia, "…but we have to hurry, so if you're going to put that on, put it on quick. We need to get to the garden's upper levels."

"You're very insensitive, Morris. I haven't gotten a nice new outfit in weeks."

"Well you're long overdue for one, I can practically see the last threads holding your dress up tearing."

—Wham—

"Oof!"

Author's Note: There goes Charlotte being insensitive (and territorial) as usual. And what's this about Maria's identity? That'll be elaborated on in the next few chapters. Anyway, it is with a heavy heart that I end the ongoing joke about how Stella desperately needs to get a new set of clothes.

The Armory:

Charlotte's Weapons:

Encyclopedia – One of Charlotte's favourite books. Very, VERY heavy.