A/N: HEYO! Thank you all for the reviews and follows. I'm so glad people out there like this Oo;
This one is a lot of mini chapters actually. Oopsie... I just had too many ideas and not really sure if I like it or not. Oh well, I hope you enjoy it. We got stupid second year fighting! YAY, TINY TYKES FIGHTING. It's um... not exciting. But don't fret, later on we'll have more "fighting" between our boys. teehee!
Remus Lupin was at the end of his second year of Hogwarts. A good lot had happened between him first meeting Sirius Black and him at this moment in time. He and the boy became fast friends with Peter and James. They formed their own little gang of sorts. James seemed dead-set on tormenting the greasy haired Snape boy, stating the Lily Evans deserved better than some slime ball Slytherin. Peter had developed nothing more than a talent of eating and practiced it very often. Sirius found that his cleverness and need to please James led to some of the most genius prank ideas. Remus had to admit, he didn't know where exactly he stood in the group. He was just… Remus, who just happened to be a bookish boy with a giant secret. He had yet to tell his friends about his condition. They questioned often where he went once a month, and the boy was running out of excuses.
This particular day, Remus was walking down to his History of Magic class, all the while trying to decide which classes to take for his third year. Muggle studies was always and easy mark. Arithmacy seemed like a good fresh challenge though. He walked deep in thought as other kids hustled about him, he barely heard the call of Sirius, struggling to keep up with him.
"Earth to Remus, come in Remus J Lupin. Do you copy?" Sirius said while putting his cupped hand to his mouth, making his voice sound funny. Remus looked up and blinked, not understanding what he was doing. "Ya know, like a muggle radio transmitter…" Sirius explained. Remus blinked more and Sirius shook his head in defeat.
The lycan chuckled, who knows how Sirius Black, of all people, knew about such things like radio transmitters and the Beatles and the muggle queen of England. He could probably teach muggle studies himself just fine. "What's up, Sirius?" Remus asked, taking note of Black's untidy curls that made him dog-like in appearance. He also saw how Sirius' tie was just the perfect amount of untidy. It was only slightly untightened, giving it off to be more disheveled than lazy. Remus wondered if Black ever planned it that way.
"What's up? I'll tell you what's up, Remus. This one bird needs to get off my back! I've had enough of the Mildred Bulstrode! Crazy snake-bird follows me day and night! If my owl had a face like hers…" Sirius went off into another story about another girl who was apparently after his eligible behind. For some reason, talking about girls with Black always made Remus uncomfortable. It was almost jealousy.
"I bet if she were any other house, she'd be more attractive to me. But nothing- and I mean nothing- is worse than a Slytherin bird." Sirius finished with a huff. Remus snorted.
"Are you telling me you'd snog a Hufflepuff?" Remus said, walking through the door to history of magic, Sirius behind him.
"Well they aren't Slytherin, eh Remus?" Sirius smirked. Remus rolled his eyes and sat down.
"You are a strange one, Black." The werewolf replied in a hushed tone, class beginning. James and Peter took seats behind him, and Sirius to his left. Sirius leaned in to whisper back.
"Well it isn't like you would want to snog a Slytherin gal either." Black said. James leaned forward to be a part of the conversation.
"The bird would have to be prettier than Evans for that to happen." James added, interrupting. "At least twice as much, then maybe I would consider placing my lips upon a snake." Peter nodded in agreement. Remus frowned.
"I'm not in any mood to snog any kind of bird…" the words came out before his mind told them to stop. The other three boys all looked at him with raised eyebrows. Professor Binns turned on the boys.
"Since you all seem to know enough to not listen," he droned, "around how many- on record- muggle-wizard marriages were officiated in 1643?" James and Sirius looked at the ghost professor. Peter began shuffling through his notes.
"412, the highest number in over four hundred years, at that time." Remus said. Binns grunted assent and went back to his podium. The boys sighed in relief. Remus' comment on snogging girls was forgotten completely.
Remus trudged up the stairs leading into Professor Dumbledore's office. He had been called out to see him during potions class, much to Slughorn's displeasure. The werewolf walked through the already opened door and smiled at his headmaster, sitting at his desk and staring at him with soft blue eyes and an easy smile.
"Remus, I simply wanted to check in with you. It is nearing the end of term and exams are coming up. Have you chosen out your third year classes?" Remus shook his head.
"Not yet, sir, They all seem interesting and it's a hard choice." Dumbledore nodded.
"Well my boy, I'm technically not allowed to openly favor any study of magic over another… but I highly suggest Runes." Dumbledore's eyes twinkled a little as he smiled. Remus smiled back.
"Thanks sir." Remus ran a hand through his hair, feeling awkward in the presence of Albus Dumbledore. The professor walked over to his pet Phoenix, playing with the bird and chuckling a little.
"Now, my boy, you are probably wondering why I called you up." Dumbledore smirked slightly "Apparently I am a very busy man, or so the minister says." Remus chuckled awkwardly.
"I just merely wanted to ask how you are, Remus. I see you're very close to Sirius, James and Peter. Good to see you've made friends in your two years here." Dumbledore beamed, and Remus returned the smile.
"Oh yes sir, it's very nice to have friends. Wouldn't trade them for the world." Remus started. "I guess it's just nice to feel... needed."
"It seems they do need you a lot for copying homework." Dumbledore said with a chuckle. Remus laughed at that one. It was true, they would all be failures for wizards without them...
Dumbledore stuck a finger up "Though I must admit, you seem to be attached to the bone with Mr. Black." The lycanthrope looks away and smiled a little.
"He was my first friend, technically. I guess we are pretty close Professor." Dumbledore tilted his head knowingly and walked back to his desk.
"Well, I think you have herbology next my boy. Better get to the greenhouse now. Wouldn't want to be late." Dumbledore sat down just as Remus was about to leave "Oh and Remus, do have a safe trip next week, I do know transformations are always very painful." Lupin sulked a little. Oh yes, transformation next week.
"Th-thank you sir." He stuttered before quickly leaving.
Sirius was bent on annoying the pants off Remus during herbology, and Remus was very much close to throwing a potted plant at the shaggy haired boy.
"I gotta get Mildred off my back. Before I end up just hexing the bird. Hmm, maybe I could get her off my back simply by hexing her. Do you know any good hexes, Remus? Painful ones… wait no. Don't want to get in too much trouble. OH maybe something that will make her break out in zits… only you know, more zits than usual. Or maybe she'll be content with an extra eye or-"
"Sirius, I swear on Godric Gryffindor himself, if you don't stop yammering in five seconds I will give you an extra eye." Remus said through gritted teeth, trying to give the proper food to his, um, plant thing. Of course it was Sirius' too. But Sirius was a bit too preoccupied with Mildred Bulstrode to give much of a crap. The lycanthrope overfed the plant, which dropped dead in an instant. He growled.
"Aw you killed it!" Sirius said. Remus slammed the plant down on the table. Soon everyone else was staring at the two boys.
"I killed it? IT DIED BECAUSE IT WAS SICK TO DEATH OF YOUR TALKING!" Remus snapped. Sirius looked affront and stood up.
"You're a total prat when it comes to my problems, Lupin!" Sirius shouted. Professor Sprout glowered at both of them, ready to give them both a talking to.
"Oh I'm the prat? Do you ever think of a single soul besides yourself? You are SO CONCIETED!" Remus stood up as well, shaking "And another thing! I could care less about Mildred-freaking-Bulstrode! And… and…" he motioned to the plant "YOU KILLED IT!" Remus grabbed his pack and started to storm out of the greenroom. James blinked a few times and turned to Sirius.
"What the hell was that!?" he asked. Sirius gave James a look and grabbed his pack as well, running after the lycanthrope. "I'M NOT DONE WITH YOU, YOU LITTLE SON OF A BLAST-ENED SKEWT!"
"I'm CLEARLY done talking to YOU!" Remus said before going outside. Sirius trailed him.
"You are being an idiot over a plant!" Sirius said. Remus turned on him.
"That was grade! Guess who DIDN'T help a bit by talking about some bird?" Remus tilted his head in mock thought "Oh yeah, you!" Sirius pushed Remus to the ground, and the lycan looked up in shock.
"Eat troll bogies!" Sirius said before storming back to the greenhouse. Remus threw a notebook at him in a fit of rage
"Go… die!" he shot back, not really thinking of a better comeback. Sirius simply caught the thing without looking, flipping off the werewolf while striding back to the greenhouse.
James sat in his throne, or more like his favorite chair in the common room. He scanned the crowd while Peter sat next to him, stuffing his face with Every-flavor beans. James looked at the curious boy with a mixture of apprehension and respect.
"Honestly, no normal human being can just… eat them like that. Don't you taste those gross flavors?" Peter shook his head. James snorted, of course he never actually TASTED the things. "Well, stop eating for two seconds, if at all possible. We have a crisis on our hands. It seems Sirius Black and Remus Lupin has officially ended their ersatz marriage they don't even know about."
"Killed a plant." Peter muttered. "I'd never want Remus as my ersatz wife, if he gets bent up over a dead plant." James raised an eyebrow.
"No, Peter. Sirius is the wife, because of his long flowing locks." James straightened up his glasses "Now I propose we fix their tarnished friendship… or weird no-kissing relationship. Whichever name suits your fancy." Peter chuckled and started at the jelly candies again.
"Group therapy." Peter mumbled through a mouthful of candy. "Marriage Counseling."
"Hush, Peter. I'm developing a plan." James interrupted "Oh yes! I got it! James Potter's marriage Counseling clinic! Peter, I am a genius!" Peter rolled his eyes.
"That's what I sai-" the tubby boy started.
"Hush, Pettigrew!" James interrupted, clapping a hand over Peter's mouth "My brain needs full concentration on the task ahead!" Peter huffed.
"Obviously, Remus grew jealous of the yammering of birds coming out of the mouth of Sirius." Potter stated, cuffing his free had around his chin. "And when Remus snapped… a poor plant met his untimely death. Remus hates dead things, so he blamed Sirius. IT'S ALL SO CLEAR NOW, PETER!" people near the two boys in the common room shushed them both.
"So, we should intervene, how?" Peter mumbled through the hand. James removed it and started pacing, then snapped his fingers
"Incognito. We help without helping. Subliminal messages. Remember Peter, they do not yet recognize the symptoms of idiotic marriages." Peter nodded quickly. "To be upfront about means one of them will deny it and drama will ensue and blah blah blah…" Peter blinked, waiting for more explanation.
"That's all I got…" Potter said, running a hand through his messy hair and grinning. Peter shook his head.
"Anyway, we drop hints, But first, they must make up to at least be friends again." Potter looked around "Honestly, it's hard finding decent men, even in this fine establishment such as the Gryffindor common rooms."