A/N: Dipping into canon a little in this chapter as I found I couldn't ignore the infamous 'kiss curse' but I do my own thing with it. Minor spoilers for 'The Jolly Roger' episode.

CHAPTER 6

QUANDARY (noun) - A state of perplexity or uncertainty over what to do in a difficult situation.

The sun had already set for an hour as Hook stood on the docks and stared out over the ocean. The relative calmness of the glittering sea was in stark contrast to the internal conflict going on within the man who usually gained so much peace watching the ebb and flow of the gentle waves.

The Wicked Witch had cursed him.

More specifically his lips.

He'd been so weighed down by his own guilt and self-loathing that he hadn't even seen it coming. Hadn't taken the right precautions. Had allowed himself to trust too easily because he'd desperately needed forgiveness for a past wrong he committed against the mermaid, Ariel.

Even now when he thought back to that horrifying moment when he'd actually believed that he'd been responsible for her true love's death his gut churned unpleasantly. He wasn't that man anymore, in truth he hadn't been then, he just hadn't wanted to admit it to himself.

It had been small comfort to discover that Ariel and Eric had in actuality been reunited and were living happily together unaffected by the new curse because that had been the moment that he'd realised that everything had been a ruse. Zelena had used a spell to transform herself into Ariel and his outpouring of remorse and subsequent oath of love on Emma's name had been his undoing.

She'd cursed him with a smile and vowed to corrupt his love by placing him in an impossible position. Kiss the Saviour and remove her magic or tell her about the curse and Zelena would kill Emma's loved one's, starting with Henry.

With her ultimatum delivered, she'd vanished in swirl of green smoke and he had been trying to decide what to do ever since.

He took a couple of steps forward until he stood on the very edge of the wooden dock and looked down into the inky depths below. Perhaps if he took himself out of the equation the Saviour and her family would gain enough time to defeat Zelena once and for all.

Perhaps if he weren't so selfish and didn't love Emma quite so much, he might have actually contemplated that notion seriously.

He moved back away from the edge then turned and pulled up short when he saw the object of his current quandary standing not more than a few feet away. He tensed and closed his eyes briefly. He wasn't ready to see her yet; it was too soon after Zelena's words, too raw, he still needed time.

"Hey, I've been looking for you," she said, darting a slightly concerned glance at the ocean beyond him, "Everything OK?"

"Aye," he replied with a nod before looking down. Even having her in the same vicinity was making the poisoned magic on his lips tingle.

"So you helped Ariel find Eric then?" she asked as she moved closer to him.

"No, she found him herself," he answered pointedly, still not meeting her gaze. It wasn't really a lie, he was grateful for that at least.

"Oh, well, I'm glad they they're together again," she commented lightly as she came to a stop directly in front of him.

Hook tensed at her nearness and fought the urge to take a step back as he tried to quell his unsettled emotions. Irritated with himself, he looked up at her and enquired brusquely, "Was there something you wanted, Swan? Because if not I have a bottle of rum waiting for me at the tavern."

Emma was a little taken aback by his curtness but put it down to the fact that he hadn't been able to come to forest because of her parents request for his help. She knew he didn't like the thought of her out there without his back-up.

"I missed you at the vault today," she ventured, hoping to garner a small smile from him, "Regina told me that I was surpassing even her expectations."

Seeing the hint of pride in her eyes at her own abilities and the way she seemed glow from the excitement of her achievements, Hook felt the burden of the curse crushing him even further.

"High praise, indeed," he commented sardonically then, in a more sincere tone, added, "But I'm glad you're finally accepting what's always been there for the rest of us to see; it suits you."

"I couldn't have done it without you," she confessed candidly.

A brief self-depreciating smile lit his face for a moment then it faded and he shook his head in negation of her words.

"Yes, you could. It was only a matter of time," he responded with conviction, "I merely spoke of what you already knew but didn't want to admit to yourself."

"Yeah, story of my life," she automatically muttered with a wry smile.

Hook shuffled his feet impatiently and tried desperately not to read too much into her comment.

"If that's all…?" he prompted, hoping that he could make good his escape before he said, or did, something he regretted.

"No, wait, we're all going to Granny's for dinner and I wondered if you wanted to come along too?" she asked expectantly.

The desire for spending one last time with her and her family was almost too strong to ignore but from somewhere deep within himself he found the strength to reply, albeit flatly, "I've already eaten, Swan. Perhaps some other time."

It was such a surprise for him to turn her down that Emma's sixth sense went into overdrive. It had been obvious to her that he'd been troubled lately, especially whenever she mentioned the year they'd been apart. As yet though, she'd been unable to glean any real insight from him as to what had actually happened. His evasiveness was frustrating to say the least because without really realising it she'd come to depend upon his openness and honesty. It was one of the few constants in her life.

"OK, well…you're welcome to join us if you change your mind," she finally acquiesced reluctantly.

He gave her a brief nod then moved to walk away but she found she couldn't let him go without saying something first. Reaching out suddenly, she grabbed hold of his hand and halted him mid-stride.

"Killian, if there's something you need to talk about, you can come to me you know that right?" she asked as she tilted her head to look him in the eyes, "Whatever it is, I'm here for you, I promise."

The pirate stared back at her earnest and worried face and wondered what on earth and the worlds beyond he had he ever done to piss Fate off so much that she so cruelly thwarted any chance of him ever finding happiness. Emma was just starting to open up to him more and now he had to do everything in his power to keep away from her for fear that he was weak-willed enough to give into temptation. One unguarded moment, that was all it'd take and he'd ruin her life forever.

He couldn't…wouldn't be the one to do that to her.

But still, pathetic lovesick wretch that he was, the feel of her hand in his was too good to relinquish immediately. He allowed himself a few seconds to enjoy the warmth and pretend that it was real if only for those scant few moments before giving her hand a gentle squeeze. When he pulled away from her grasp, he took a couple of heavy steps backwards, each one breaking his heart a little more.

"In my experience, Emma, some things are best left unsaid," he observed with a sad smile.

He walked off without waiting for a reply and knew that no matter how hard he tried, it'd be a long time before he would ever forget the wounded expression that had marred her beautiful face upon his words.

Deep down he knew it was but a small price to pay because, for tonight at least, he took comfort in the knowledge that Emma still had her magic and Henry and her parents were safe.

While he had no idea how long he had before Zelena made good on her threats, there was one thing of which he was absolutely certain.

He would stop her anyway he could…or he'd damn well bloody die trying.

END CHAPTER 6