Chapter 7

BROKEN (adjective) - (Of a person) having given up all hope; despairing

The past few days had been a blur.

A horrendous, messy, emotionally painful and mentally torturous blur that had ended in him losing the hard earned trust of the woman he loved when all he'd wanted to do was protect her and her family.

With Zelena's threat hanging over his head, he knew he couldn't tell Emma what had happened to him but he had intended to tell David. Unfortunately, he had been thwarted in his attempt and rather than try again, he had taken it upon himself to keep it a secret thereafter.

Naturally, everything had come to a head earlier that day when the Witch ran out of patience with his dallying. His attempt at hiding Henry had failed miserably and during the ensuing confrontation, Zelena had deliberately made it sound as though they were in league together.

The hatred he felt for the Witch in that moment almost rivalled that which he'd once felt about Rumplestiltskin.

Thankfully, Emma had defeated Zelena this time and everyone, including Henry, now had all their memories back. Still, it was bittersweet because for all his relief that everything had turned out all right, there was an equal amount of despair at the seemingly insurmountable amount of distrust he now faced.

Emma actually asking if he was working with Zelena had been the hardest blow for him. Did she really not know him at all?

His confession of Zelena's curse only seemed to anger the Saviour further. Even though he'd acted with the best of intentions, he was left in no doubt that withholding such important information was pretty much the death knell in their relationship…such as it was.

Then her parents had accused him of lying about how he received the message to bring their daughter back and although he'd defended himself, he'd known it was for nought. They'd made their decision that he was to blame and he'd not had the stomach to stay and put up with their suspicious looks and barbed comments any longer.

He was just a pirate and always would be in their eyes. That knowledge was what had finally broken him, his heart shattering into a million pieces within his chest as he realised that everyone he'd come to view as friends, family even, would so quickly turn against him. Everything he'd done meant nothing; he meant nothing.

In the end he'd simply walked away, head held high. He hated that there was still the smallest part of him hoping against hope that Emma, someone, might call him back…but they hadn't.

He'd wandered around for a while then as always he'd gravitated back to the docks in the hopes that the salty air and soothing sound of the ocean would ease his troubled soul. An hour later he'd given up waiting for the hurt to stop.

Absently he touched a finger to his lips, the ever present tingling a constant reminder that the curse was still in place and that even now he was as much of a danger to Emma as ever. Despite their minor victory, the situation really hadn't changed.

"I've been looking for you," came Emma's cool voice suddenly from behind him.

He tensed having been so caught up in his deliberations that he hadn't heard her coming. Letting his arm drop to his side, he shook his head but refused to turn and look at her.

"Why? Making sure that I'm not planning the next diabolical move with the Wicked Witch?" he retorted unable to keep the bitterness out of his voice.

"No! I know you're not working with her," she refuted immediately, willing him to face her so that he could see her sincerity.

"Really? That's not how it came across to me, love," the pirate goaded.

Emma sighed heavily. She knew she'd hurt him, but his concealment had terrified her and not only because it had forced her to acknowledge just how much he was been willing to sacrifice himself. It had also stirred up too many unhappy memories from her past that had been impossible to ignore and she'd taken it out on him.

"I know. Look, it's just that…for a second there when I heard what Zelena said it was like history repeating itself. I trust someone and they turn out to be not who I thought they were…and you've always been so different, so honest with me, but today…today you weren't and I thought you…you were…"

She broke off as the pain of thinking even momentarily that he would betray her like that came back in full force.

"Just like all the rest," he finished for her quietly.

"Yes," she divulged on a whisper.

Shoulders sagging, he closed his eyes and bent his head, her admission doing nothing to help mend his splintered heart.

"Well, if you truly do believe that, Swan, then there's nothing more left to be said between us," he stated dejectedly, "If I've not proved to you by now where my loyalties, my…heart lay then I doubt I ever shall."

Emma drew in a sharp breath not only at his words but also at hearing the immense pain that coloured his tone. He looked so defeated, so broken and it was all down to her and her own insecurities. Somehow she needed to fix this…them. For once, it was her turn to be there for him.

Slowly, she walked over and came to a stop by his side. As she stared out across the ocean, she moved her hand until her fingers entwined with his and gave his hand a gentle squeeze.

"You have proved it, Killian. Many times, in many different ways," she assured him quietly before looking over at him and adding, "And as much as I don't agree with how you handled this whole Zelena situation, I know you believed you were doing the right thing for all of us."

Hook opened his eyes then turned his head to gaze back at her. After all the danger he'd put them in, he could hardly comprehend what she was saying. Having her speak to him so warmly, touch him even, was better than any kind of magical potion he could have taken to heal his battered heart.

"I should have told you," he confessed unhappily.

"Yes, you should," she agreed with a nod, "but we all make mistakes, right?"

"Aye. Some of us more than others," he admitted gravely.

His eyes sought out the ocean again as her words reminded him of the reason behind the Witch's successful duplicity in the first place. The shame and guilt of his treatment of Ariel settled heavily upon him once more and he let out a long sigh.

Emma frowned slightly at his unexpected reaction, the obvious distress on his face causing her to reflexively grip his hand even tighter.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked softly.

"Yes," he replied immediately as he returned his gaze to hers, a small, sad smile playing across his lips as he added emotionally, "but not today."

Emma looked back at him a moment then nodded her assent. She understood. He was making her a promise and at the very least, for once, she could do the same for him.

"That's okay, I'm not planning on going anywhere," she told him meaningfully.

Hook swallowed hard and let out a huff of breath at her simple reassurance. There were so many things he wanted to say to her in that second, so many feelings that demanded to be expressed but he held them all back. Instead he channelled everything into one little word. A word that he knew held a wealth of meaning and promise for them both.

"Good."

END CHAPTER 7