[Don't you miss her?]
Chapter four - An answer
What?
Ash's mother giggled, watching me blink and open my eyes in surprise.
My feet were stuck on the ground as if that woman was a menacing threat - which was a completely paradoxical reaction. It is impossible to not describe Mrs Ketchum as a merry lovable mom... She's anything but scary.
"I'm sorry, you're not the Drew from Hoenn?"
I didn't know how to ask that without sounding stupid - so I did it anyway.
"Eh... H-How do you know me?"
Mrs Ketchum shrugged lightly then let a warm laughter escape from her lips; it was a subtle, yet tender answer to my question. My body relaxed for a moment, even though it was still clearly puzzled about that very odd situation.
"Well, Ash doesn't have many green-haired friends!" She smiled kindly, leaning on the door. "You have a very unique hair color, dear."
"I'm Delia, nice to meet you! Come in, you're a lucky boy. I've just baked some cookies for Professor Oak and Tracey, let's have some before they are all gone!"
Me... Ash's friend?
Ash is May and Max's friend. I'm May's rival and Ash's... I could swear everybody (of course, including myself) would call our relationship as a distant rivalry, at most.
I knew Ash Ketchum was an extroverted guy but I had no idea how further his friendly personality went. That's so... Weird. Still amazed at his social skills, I couldn't stop asking myself how come I wasn't an unknown name under the roof of that house.
"I didn't know Ash talked about me to other people..."
The Ketchum home is a welcoming and cozy place - it is funny how you can easily picture a certain young spike-haired brat running around the stairs while playing with pokemon toys. That place has a very relaxing and warm atmosphere, no wonder why May sometimes would talk about Ash's house in Pallet town with that huge grin on her face.
"He loves telling me stories about his adventures." Mrs Ketchum laughed again, taking off her summer hat and placing it on the coat hanger. "Ash is definitely a very social boy."
So... According to his mother, he's pretty much a 'rival-friend-making-machine-gun'.
I was targeted and shot by that weapon and I didn't notice it, apparently.
"May proclaimed you as her number one rival and my son used to hear her talking about it all the time... So of course your name ended up reaching my ears, hahaha!"
Really?
"Oh."
Curiosity caught my tongue and I had to make another question.
"...Were those mentions good things?"
"I can't really remember the details, but..." She offered me a plate of cookies with a kind smile. "May is such a sweet girl, I'm sure they were."
Mr Mime brought a jar of water for us and gave me annoying knowing looks.
"Miiimehehehe!"
I furrowed my eyebrows in disbelief. Was he really going to...
He started dancing in front of me, singing a romantic tune.
That damn pokemon even didn't bother hiding his mocking face, explicitly teasing my misfortune with a huge and malicious grin. How dare he?!
"Miiiiime, miiiime... Hehehe!"
"Mimey, stop!" Mrs Ketchum scolded Mr Mime lightly by placing her hands on her hips and frowning in reprehension. "That's not how you treat your guests, honey! What have I told you about other people's feeling?"
Great, now even some pokemon think I am a huge girl stalker. How charming. What's next? Is Arceus going to pay me a visit point a finger (paw? I don't know) at my face?
"Drew is Ash and May's friend, of course he cares about them. What is so funny about that, right?"
"Mimeeee..." The psychic pokemon quiet down, pouting a bit in protest. "Mime mime!..."
Taking a long breath, I spoke as clearly as possible while staring at the tidy and shiny floor. I used that comment about May as a link to my next question.
"Oh, talking about her..."
It was hard to voice my feelings - but what I felt was so strong that it made me quickly speak out the truth without any second doubts. I was so curious I had to know the answer as soon as possible.
"Professor Oak told me you got May and Max's telephone number. Can I check it, please?"
"Sure, one minute! You need to call them? I've got Caroline's number," Mrs Ketchum spoke with me while heading upstairs. "May's Mom, do you know her?"
"Yea... Yes, I know her too."
I couldn't help but smile about that. Mrs Caroline was a very nice person I met in Hoenn's Grand Festival; she was there to root for her daughter, watching all her appeals and battles. May's family is a very united one...
Mrs Ketchum returned to the living room carrying a small pink agenda in her arms. Flipping the scribbled pages and finding the right number, she handled out the notebook to me, pointing a list of phone numbers with her index finger. "Here, try these two numbers. Try the third one if none of them works, that's the Petalburg Gym's phone number."
"Ah..." I was struggling with too many feelings to express any other face than a reticent one. "Thank you very much."
"I'll leave you alone for a while. You may use the videophone so you won't waste your Dex's batteries!" She left the room again and headed to the kitchen. "Take your time, Drew. Call me if you need something!"
She didn't judge me... Not even a single stifled laugh.
"Come with me, Mimey! Let's pack the cookies for Professor and Tracey."
Mr Mime blinked in confusion then immediately followed her.
I think she noticed I was tense. She understood something serious was going on my mind.
"Thank you, Mrs Ketchum..."
It was just a small gesture - however, leaving me alone by myself was the best thing they could do to help me concentrate, call May's house... And find out the truth.
I stared at the videophone on the corner of the living room then observed the small details of the pink agenda in my hands.
That was the end of mystery.
Taking a long breath, I dialed the first number in the list.
"That's it, time to solve the puzzle."
First beep.
May... Sometimes I feel like she's very easy to be read, yet her special skill is the ability to impress people by reinventing herself all the time.
Every small water ripple from her ocean eyes has a unique meaning - deep or not, stupid or not, logic or not, whatever. She's a very expressive girl but it doesn't mean she's 100% predictable; there are too many emotions inside those eyes, it is challenging to face her and try guessing which feeling she's going to show you.
Second beep.
I could sit down and organize every single word I would tell her. I could try predicting some of her reactions to deliver fancier and smarter answers... It is easy to answer anything I have confidence in and toss away everything else I don't feel comfortable with. But―
I don't want to.
Why?
I figured out that my call apparently was born from... some irrational wish. My heart, not my brain.
Exposing your feelings makes you an extremely vulnerable person. I made some incredibly stupid things in the past hours that I would never, ever, have done if I tried to act like a hundred percent rational being. The brain is always the first one to surrender.
And the heart... That's why I am here sitting on that sofa, dialing to that number. It doesn't give up that easily on what it wants.
Third beep―
"Hello, it's Carol―"
May's mom turned the video-call on and opened her mouth in puzzlement. "Drew?..."
"Hi."
I dived into the water praying to find my answer.
"Drew, is that you?..."
"I-I'm sorry," I spoke with a slightly shaken voice; I straightened myself on the chair then repeated my words. "I'm sorry if I scared you. Hi, Mrs Caroline, how are you?"
"Oh, it's okay, dear!" Her surprised expression slowly shifted to a friendlier and calmer one. "Hahaha, forgive me for looking so shocked, it's just― Well, good to see you, I hope everything is okay there."
Mrs Caroline clasped her hands together. She was really glad to see me.
I smiled back... I was relieved too. It was good to see everything slowly going back to normal - after so many surprises, it felt great to be in a safer zone.
"It is." I nodded, controlling myself before I could say something stupid. "How's May doing?"
My knees got weaker and I felt the bottom of my stomach sinking inside my body. It was strange and clearly an irritating sensation - yet I knew I wouldn't trade it for anything. I felt my pride slightly scratched, but... I didn't want to let that feeling go away. Somehow I was under the impression that imaginary May from my dreams would stop smiling if I refused being touched by those inconvenient emotions.
When did I change myself to that?...
"Well..." Mrs Caroline pouted a bit, exactly the way her daughter does when she's thinking about something. "Look, May's been feeling better. Actually, I'm happy you called! I think some incentive would boost her confidence a lot."
"Oh, really?"
I laughed quietly, shaking my head in disbelief. Confidence problems? That was so typical of May... I would never guess she skipped several Contests because of that. I flicked the tip of my bangs, grinning haughtily. I couldn't believe I worried about something so silly!
"It doesn't surprise me, haha. I've seen that happening more than once, Mrs Caroline, don't worry about it. It's not really severe!..."
"Oh, Drew..."
Mrs Caroline smiled back at me very meekly, as if she was afraid of saying her next words.
"Last year May suffered an accident and we decided it would be better for her health to make her stay at home for a semester..."
An accident?
What?!
"...The doctor says she's fine now but since then May is very afraid of leaving home." Mrs Caroline sighed, looking away from the video screen for a moment. "It's been a rough time for her, you know?"
An accident.
My stomach, my brain, my heart... My whole body refused to digest that new information. Time suddenly escaped from my hands. Out of blue, that calm ocean devoured me with a violent tidal wave.
My smile disappeared completely.
"Is she okay now?!..." I muttered, hands gripping the phone in horror. "W-What happened?"
"...She's getting better." Mrs Caroline coughed weakly, trying to not dwell on this particular subject. "May's a strong girl, isn't she? I agree with you, it's probably just a bad period in her life, it's not severe. Things will get better..."
"...Does it hurt?"
She gave me another modest smile, pointing her index finger to an off-screen place.
"I'll be right back, May's in her room. I can call h―"
"NO!"
May got hurt.
I felt my earlier excitement being drained away from my body. My guts hurt, I heard my own heartbeats pulsing in an odd rhythm.
Am I an idiot?
"No, don't do that!... Please."
I want to see her. But why can't I confront her?... Why is my heart betraying me?
"Please don't tell her I called!" I shouted it a little higher than I should have done. "May can't know we've just talked, please!"
"Huh?" Mrs Caroline eyes got wider in surprise. "I'm sorry― but what?"
"I-I can't..."
"Can't?..." She didn't understand my words. She tried to repeat my question, speaking in a slower pace. "You can't...?"
Feeling my hands sweat in anxiety, I felt my mouth getting dry and my shoulders trembling in tension. I shook my head, trying to organize my thoughts.
Then why am I so afraid of finding out the truth?!
"I... I can't," I said it again, louder and in a steadier voice. "I just can't."
"I'm sorry, I gotta go. Thank you, Mrs Caroline."
No warnings, no proper goodbyes. I hanged the phone up and sunk my face in my hands.
The dreadful mood and silence in the living room denounced the end of the call.
After a few minutes, Mrs Ketchum called my name. Her voice was clearly concerned about my defeated posture and the blank screen on the videophone.
"Drew?..."
She joined me on the sofa, placing a small colorful pack full of cookies by my side.
"Don't tell Professor, but I stole some of his cookies and packed an extra mini bag for you."
"I... I'm an insensitive jerk."
"Hm?" She tilted her head to the side. "Why are you saying that?"
Regret, regret, regret... That was so wrong. Very wrong.
"I did something sickening."
I know my mind is programmed to silence my thoughts instead of opening it up for strangers - but for real, this time... My guilty deserved being an exception. That was way too much upsetting. My mind refused to not blame myself on my stupidity: I totally deserved it.
Time waits for no one.
How could I have betrayed her this way?...
"I've just realized how uncaring and cold I was by not trying to call her earlier! I ignored her... May needed support... And I didn't bother doing anything to help her, argh!"
"Drew..." Mrs Ketchum frowned in a sad expression. "Don't―"
I clenched my fists and groaned in frustration, trying to hold down those grievous feelings.
I need to go back to Hoenn.
I must go back to Hoenn. Now.
I opened my PokeNav and grabbed my pokeball belt. Checking the world map, I searched the directions and distances from Pallet to Petalburg.
"Damn, I need to buy a boat ticket in Vermillion!... I only have one pokemon to help me, a six-hour trip is too much for Flygon."
I almost intentionally dropped my PokeNav on the floor. Mrs Ketchum stopped me before I could destroy or hit something in outrage.
"Wait, please calm down... Breathe. Calm down..."
She looked at my eyes, speaking in a soothing voice.
It is scary how your body forgets to control itself when you're stressed and confused. I knew my cheeks were burning in pink tones - it was impossible to not be ashamed of my own overreaction.
"I'm such an idiot, aren't I... I tried to ignore what I truly wanted and ended up being a jerk. May trusted me and I screwed it up! Why did she trust someone unreliable like me? This is so wrong, how can I face her after what I've done?!"
"Yes, just breathe..." She held my hand in a gentle but confident grip. "You're worried, that's why you're so angry, this is not wrong..."
"Not wrong?" I murmured in an acid voice. "Why does it feel so wrong, then? If I were truly worried, I would have done something useful."
Filling up a glass of water for me, Mrs Ketchum watched me cool down in slow steps. "You would have done something if you had noticed that before, wouldn't you? I don't know what happened, but... Drew, that still shows you really care."
That imaginary May inside my dreams... She walked away and dissipated in my foggy memories.
"She's never going to forgive me."
Mrs Ketchum looked at me with sad eyes.
"You feel like you've made something wrong. You regret it because you feel it could have been avoided... But May is your friend, isn't she? Wouldn't you forgive her if you were in her place?"
I bit my lower lip and sank in silence for a long and thoughtful dilemma.
Would May forgive me? I honestly think she believes in humanity way too much to be a resentful person... I know May is optimistic and forgiving - yet it doesn't mean that I should take advantage from that virtue. That wouldn't be fair; I can't abuse from her niceness. I refuse being like Harley!
"Even when you only have a single shot and you miss it? It is too late, isn't it..."
"Well..."
She was absorbed in her own private thoughts, standing up in silence for a long period before completing her honest answer.
"To understand, to forgive and to give yourself to someone... I think we often underestimate the power of these gestures..."
Mrs Ketchum walked to the window and opened the curtains, letting the breeze enter and dance in the living room.
"...Because there's time for change, always."
Even though time waits for no one?
"It is not a matter of comparison, a small meaningful change, even though nobody notices it, is a meaningful change... It is not easy to challenge yourself to be a nicer and better person when you are aware of your flaws! That's why my family and my friends are both my greatest treasures and heroes. Do you understand that, Drew?"
"I..."
"Besides, I believe in what they call hope." She completed, shrugging her shoulders. "Magic happens when people try changing themselves, doesn't it?"
After the storm, clear blue skies. Mrs Ketchum's radiant words guided me to a sunny and safer place, making me want to believe she was right. Perhaps my quest was not over yet...
...Perhaps May was waiting for me?
My PokeNav started beeping.
"Excuse me..."
I picked up the call; the name on-screen and the hesitant silence on the other side of the phone kind of gave it away.
"Hello... Brianna?"
But I was wrong. It was Solidad - and she seemed to be quite worried about me.
"Thank Arceus Brianna has your number! Drew, what's going on?"
"I'm... At Pallet Town." I cringed at my answer. "What you're doing on Brianna's PokeNav?"
"She's very concerned about you... I used my PokeDex to call Professor Oak and he told me everything." She sighed in worry, trying to not get herself mad as well. Adjusting her censoring voice to a calmer tone, she continued her sermon. "Brianna has just dashed to the Pokemon Center, she left her PokeNav and her purse with me. Brianna wants to talk to you in a video call NOW, she refuses to believe you're okay... And of course something's wrong!"
"Eh, I swear you I didn't write anything bad to Brianna..." I paused for a second then furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. "I have no idea why she's worried about me."
"Cellphone contact, private messages, promises of hanging out with your coordinator fellows?... That's not a normal behavior for you."
...Fair enough.
"Either way... What are you trying to do?"
"I..." Lowering my voice in tension, I stuttered in anxiety. "I-I need to see her..."
"Huh?"
"I need to go to Petalburg... I need to see May."
That's it.
Ash's Mom granted me a small hope, my mind and my heart are quieter now. I won't ignore that chance.
So this is my wish: no matter what, I am going to Petalburg right now.
I can't go back to the past. It is no use to cry over a stupid mistake when... She might be, still, waiting for me.
"Sol, I want to visit May at her house in Petalburg. I'm taking a break from Kanto's Circuit for a few days, don't wait for me."
After a long silence, I heard an affirmative and softer hum on the other side of the call.
She didn't question my answer. "How can we help you?"
[Ring ring! Ring ring! Phone call, phone call!]
"Hang on a minute," I replied while checking the videophone's screen. "It must be Brianna."
"It's okay, we are on our way to the Center. I meet you there in a few minutes, bye."
Ending Solidad's call and answering Brianna's video call, I activated the camera and the phone. "Yes?"
"Mr Drew, it's Brianna... Uh, is everything alright?"
Brianna looked even more embarrassed, tense and shy than usual.
"I... I need to go back to Hoenn. I must go to Petalburg, now. I'm really sorry but I promise we will have that ice cream together when I come back."
"What happened?" She covered her mouth with one hand. "Ms Solidad told me you were looking for May, is she in Petalburg City?"
"Yeah." I scratched the back of my neck, feeling slightly awkward. "She's there."
"Do you have a transfer machine somewhere around? If you're going back to Hoenn, we need to deliver some pokeballs to you. You only own a Flygon to fly with you, right?"
"Huh?"
"Yes!" Brianna clenched her fists in determination, brushing away her anxiety for a moment. "I'm sure Pidgeot and Vibrava can give you a helping hand! If you travel by sea, we got Lapras too. Let's wait for Ms Solidad and Mr Harley, then you're all set to go!"
I watched the world fast-forwarding in front of my eyes.
Mrs Ketchum noticed I was almost lost in the middle of the ocean, confused yet amazed with the view. She smiled, without interrupting my introspection dive.
I stopped dreaming when Brianna's shy and curious voice woke me up.
"...May is a special girl, isn't she?"
I stared at the screen with a blank stare. Brianna was glaring at me with timid yet inquisitive eyes.
"She's really special..." She pouted, stubbornly fidgeting with her fingers. "You really... Care about her."
I felt my cheeks getting warmer. I just shrugged it off, grimacing a bit... "Uh, well... We all care, don't we?"
"Yea, we do..." She dodged her gaze from the screen, looking troubled. "But I was very surprised to see that you REALLY care for her, Mr Drew!"
I pondered in silence for a few seconds before answering that statement. To be honest, I was quite impressed to see Brianna being that direct about my personal life and I didn't know how to tell her the truth.
Sometimes the most honest and explicative replies are found using simple words, though.
"Well... I do. That's a big surprise for me too."
My answer made her almost fall from the Pokemon Center's phone cabin. Her pale face changed to a large range of colors in a very tight time frame - and I am sure she also mumbled something about me that I couldn't understand.
"Uh... Brianna, are you okay?"
"May is a very, very lucky girl..."
Brianna sighed discreetly to herself then hide her true feelings under a soft embarrassed laugh - a mix of disappointment, confusion and relief.
I noticed Brianna was holding her frustration the best she could. She was struggling against herself really hard, trying to not despair over her denied feelings. In respect to her effort, I pretended to not see the small tear drops rolling down her cheeks. She smiled back when I thanked her for her help.
"... Thank you, Bri."
I never knew what a pet name could do with an infatuated girl. After hearing the new nickname, she almost dropped the phone on the floor, covering her red cheeks with her hands.
Brianna returned to herself when a familiar hand tapped over her shoulder. She blushed even harder - but the person behind the screen seemingly calmed her down with few words and a golden card.
"Oh. Mr Drew, please land in Slateport's ferry!" Brianna showed the plastic card on the screen. "Copy this number, you'll need this!"
"Eh?" I raised an eyebrow and typed it down in my PokeNav. "What is that for?"
"Someone here is from Slateport." Solidad hinted, appearing behind Brianna. "You can use this key number to unlock someone's bicycle and ride to Petalburg City."
To my surprise, Harley also appeared on Brianna's video call, crossing his arms in annoyance and puffing in complaint like a Wigglytuff.
"Pretty boy... Just for today, you may use my beautiful bike. Because I love Miss Tent but I hate you, do you hear me?..."
Sol glared at me with a subtle smile on her lips. I sighed, following her silent orders while rolling out my eyes.
"Okay... Well, I appreciate that, Harley."
"―REALLY?" Harley's eyes suddenly got bigger and brighter. "OH MY ARCEUS! I love you too, hon!"
"... I don't love you, Harley... But whatever."
Brianna and Solidad laughed.
"I called Professor Oak and transferred few pokeballs to his lab." Sol showed her PokeDex on the video screen. "I'm sure you won't have problems dealing with Pidgeot or Lapras, they are the most obedient pokemon in my team."
"One last thing, Mr Drew. Tell her we are praying," Brianna spoke with a gentler voice, holding her hands close to her chest. "Ms Solidad, Mr Harley and me... We want her to get better as soon as possible!"
"...I couldn't do that without you guys."
Solidad crossed her arms over her chest. Her mysterious smile got wider and motherly... Brianna giggled quietly and Harley stared at me with wiggling eyebrows.
Oh, not that.
"Wait, don't―"
"...You've changed, Drew. I'm proud of you."
"I'm really happy for you, Mr Drew. I wish the best for the two of you!..."
"Awwww, our little Drewsie is not a kid anymore! Isn't that sweet, girls?"
"I considered thanking you for all the help and support but I may have changed my mind now..."
Drew turned off the video call and crossed his arms, overwhelmed by the flood of information and emotions rushing inside his mind.
"You are surrounded by wonderful friends, Drew."
The boy turned his head to Ash's Mom. She was checking her garden from the window, watching the flowers being covered by the sun and the gentle breeze.
"I..." The green-haired coordinator unconsciously pouted a bit. "...I am a luck person, just that."
Delia smiled.
Drew grabbed a pokeball from his belt and summoned Roserade. The flower pokemon bowed politely, standing right by her master's feet.
"Rose!"
Watching the boy wear that solemn expression on his face, Roserade immediately knew what he wanted by calling her out. "Rosee?"
"Yes, please." Drew nodded. "Make the best ones, Petal Dance."
The charming pokemon spun elegantly on the floor, moving her slender arms in a hypnotic dance. Scarlet red flowers began to sprout from her hands - and, in a matter of seconds, a dashing bouquet of roses was born from them.
"Thank you very much for everything, Mrs Ketchum... You're awesome."
Coordinator and pokemon offered the beautiful flowers to Ash's Mom. Delia blinked, holding the dashing bouquet in her arms with astonishment.
"Thank you for the roses..." She touched one rose bud; its petals were silky and delicate. "Oh my, they are gorgeous."
"You deserve the best." The young teenager smiled. "You're truly amazing."
Professor Oak parked his bicycle nearby the Ketchum family's mailbox. He noticed the green-haired coordinator was fixing the last straps from a customized saddle on his pokemon's back.
"Hey, young man!" He grinned, admiring the shiny scales of the dragon-type pokemon. "Did you manage to find your answers?"
Drew flicked the tip of his hair and answered the researcher's question with a cheeky smirk.
"Yes, sir."
"Oh, that's good!" The pokemon researcher opened his bag and removed two pokeballs from the smaller pocket. "Here, Solidad asked me to give you these. Don't forget to inbox the extra pokemon, you can only carry six of them with you."
"Thank you, Professor. Don't worry, I'll."
Drew caressed Flygon's head and checked the map one last time - he was ready to depart and head to Slateport City.
"Thank you for the cookies."
Ash's Mom giggled. She walked back to the doorstep and held Mimey's hand.
"Hahaha, you don't need to thank me for that, Drew... Tell May she's always a very welcomed guest in my house."
The boy nodded, jumping on the back of his dragon pokemon.
"Oh, before I leave Pallet... Mrs Ketchum could you keep a secret for me?"
"Always, dear." She gently hugged the flowers tighter. "I'm all ears."
"I miss her so badly... That's not wrong, right?"
Delia smiled. Drew looked so fragile, yet so confident at the same time. That boy couldn't say May's name out loud but his answer was very fond and honest - it was a small veiled confession.
"Okay... Flygon, let's go!"
Obeying his trainer's intense command, the dragon pokemon charge and storm to the sky in full speed, making Professor Oak's bicycle jump in the air.
"Wooah!" Professor watched with surprised eyes the wind gust push him up and down. "What's that!"
He jumped and hugged his bike before it could get blown away by the wind.
Delia giggled, hiding behind the door. Mr Mime popped up behind her, protecting his sight with one hand and watching the Flygon disappear in the sky.
"That boy kind of reminds me so much of Misty," she whispered to herself, pleased and dreamily. "Ash surely have great friends."
"It's fascinating how young kids have the guts to chase their dreams so eagerly." Professor Oak scratched the back of his head, still slightly confused with what had just happened and with the mysterious comparison between the two teenagers. He sighed, checking his almost destroyed bike. "Though I have no idea what that boy has in common with Misty."
"Professor, she's a girl in l..." She smiled, looking at the dashing red roses in her arms. "Oh! Nevermind, I promised him I wouldn't tell that anyone, Professor."
"Wha?..." Professor Oak cocked his head to the side, crossed arms over his chest. "That doesn't make sense!"
"Well, guess I'm Ash's friends official secret keeper, haha..."
Delia laughed. Young love... So innocent, so sweet. She prayed to that honesty and determination always be there inside Ash and his friend's hearts.
"Cookies?" She opened the door to her friend. "I've just baked a couple of them, come in."
A/N: Hang on there... We are almost at the end of this story!
Thanks for the reviews and for the patience. You guys rock, hehe :D