Chapter 3

The few staff sitting in the servants hall jumped from the table as Cora Crawley stepped into the doorway. "Please..don't get up." She waved them all down.

Hearing the commotion, Carson steps from his pantry. "Oh M'lady...what brings you down?"

"Carson, might I have a word with you?" Cora smiles sweetly and walks toward him.

"Of course." he nods and gestures with his outstretched arm toward his pantry. He closes the door behind them and offers her to sit.

"Carson, I've spoken to his Lordship and I know Mrs. Hughes is sick, however, he had a meeting to get to so I'm not aware of just how sick? I wondered if you could fill me in on the details?"

He was weary of this day and the thinking and the worrying, and trying to figure things out, but he knew this would be a new normal for him so, mentally, he soldiered on. "Yes well...Dr. Clarkson was here earlier and informed us...her...that he had spoken with a specialist, and reviewed her tests and the specialist seems certain it is...cancer..."

Cora's hand flies to her mouth, "Oh Carson! Oh dear." She sits in the chair most available and tries to take it in.

Once again, Charles' stomach turns over as he is reminded of the possibility of what lies ahead for his love. He continues with heaviness that makes her sad. "It's...it's not certain yet but..." tears pool in his eyes, he lowers his head to attempt to hide his emotion.

Cora's mind raced, desperately thinking what to say...do. She suddenly snapped to; her determined spirit and compassion for her staff trumping the gravity of the situation. She stands and grabs his hands in hers.

Accosted by her touch, Charles pulls his head up. She sees his tears and her heart aches for him. "Robert told me Carson...and I can't be more pleased knowing you've found your way to her. We will take care of her, do whatever we have to to get the best care possible. Don't you worry!" She squeezed his hands.

The stoic and normally constrained butler struggles to hold tears back. "Your Ladyship, I'm sorry. I've suddenly become a cry baby. I'm sorry to embarrass you." He reaches for his handkerchief.

"Oh you poor dear Carson. You needn't apologize. I find it incredibly endearing and wonderful that you feel so deeply for Mrs. Hughes. I've suspected for a while that you two shared feelings."

He gives her that characteristic half smile but it's weary and sad. "Yes well, I've been a fool M'Lady. I've let so much time pass."

"Carson what is important is you are here now and you are acknowledging how you feel. It may be the very thing that carries her through".

Carson stared off as if he was looking at something in the distance. "I'm counting on it..." he voices quietly.

Carson carried a small tea tray and rapped lightly on her door, not wanting to wake her if she was sleeping. He pushed it open and she indeed was turned away from him. He stepped across the room to her bed and leaned over her. When he did, his weight shifted and the floor board under him made a loud annoying creak. He winced at the sound and of course she stirred and turned over.

"Mmmm..." she smiled sleepily and held her hand out to him.

In 20 plus years of being near Elsie, Charles considered that he had only been in this room a few times and never seen her sleeping. He sat the tea tray down on the bedside table, took her hand and sat down in the chair beside her bed. His eyes were heavy and his countenance low. He brought her hand to his warm lips and closed his eyes against it. "You look weary Mr. Carson." She called his proper name only out of habit but it made him feel good to hear her voice, addressing him in a loving tone.

He didn't want to be down, he wanted to be able to bring her spirits up but he was sick with worry, with love, fear. He wanted nothing more than to crawl into this bed beside her and hold her until they awakened from this nightmare. But he knew he must be strong and keep a front for those around him, for her sake. She would not want the whole house knowing what was going on and he intended to protect her in every way. "I'm fine.." he reassures her. His throaty, bass voice soothes her. "Did you rest? I brought you tea."

"I did." She sits up and tucks a long dark tendril of hair behind her ear. "I must look a fright!" She was suddenly self conscious.

"Elsie Hughes, you are beautiful..." he soothed while pouring her a cup of tea.

"Won't you join me?" she takes a sip and notices he isn't partaking.

"No. I can't stay. I had a delivery of wine that needs to be inspected before dinner service." He rubbed his brow and sighed deeply.

Her heart ached for him. His safe and predictable world had turned up on end today and it was because of her. She leaned over and put her cup down. "Charles?" she takes ahold of his hand. "I'm sorry."

"Why should you be sorry?" coming to attention, he sat straighter and pitched those dark brows in astonished questioning.

"I'm afraid I've made a mess of things," she said quietly. She feared this would happen by letting him in. She knew him, knew his constant state of worry about this house, his staff; he shouldered the responsibility far too internally. In that world he had built around him, Carson was always sure, certain of the way things were and should be and fought tooth and nail to keep it that way. There couldn't be a bigger upset in his world than what had happened today. Yet it was a bittersweet joy she was feeling, knowing the road ahead could get very rough and that he would worry himself sick over her but his response to her this morning, in her sitting room, could not have comforted her any deeper than it did. The years of wondering, reading in, contemplating, longing, aching came to an abrupt halt. In a moment, both of their worlds intersected and just like that, they stepped onto another plane. They could never go back to how they were at dawn.

TBC...