Due to the amount of KT I HATE YOU's and KT YOU SUCK's and KT MAKE IT HAPPY's I have started the epilogue a day early. I HOPE YOU APPRECIATE IT OKAY.
But as promised, a happy alternate ending.
I hope this makes up for the pain and torture and HEART WRENCHING SADNESS that I have made you endure. Seriously though, I never expected the amount of attention that this has gotten since I first published it. I never meant to make so many of you cry! Thank you for all the reviews and the love/hate/everything.
Honestly, I wasn't quite sure where I wanted this to go/end, so I'm kinda iffy on it. But oh well. You asked, I gave.
This goes out to Becca (who we'll pretend is Becky shh) and Ris and Ellie (who frankly leaves the best reviews) for being their frankly well awesome selves even if Ris has done nothing but sass me all day and Ellie is basically ignoring me. But w/e. This is for you.
It's slow, at first. The huge pressure, the feeling of a giant weight pressed against the inside of her skull, it lifts. Slowly. Ever so slowly, the pressure leaves and she feels… like she's waking up. Like she's been asleep. She's just waking up. And she's trying to wake up, she's trying to open her eyes but they're heavy. Oh, they're so heavy. She could just go back to sleep. She could. It would be so easy. The pull of it is still there. Only… there's something pushing her in the opposite direction. Urging her onwards, away from the dark. She's not sure what. She can't quite tell what it is, but it's there and it's strong and familiar. There's noise now, beeps and low murmurs, something that sounds like hissing. The feeling is stronger now. She can start to pinpoint it. Her hand. Someone, there's someone holding her hand.
And then, then it's sudden and she can't stop it even if she wanted to, but her eyes are flying open and she can't – she can't breathe. She chokes on something – there's something in her throat and it's unnatural and foreign and she lifts her hands to try and pull it – she needs it out – she needs it –
"Kate, relax." There's a strong grip on her wrists, but she struggles – she needs to breathe, damnit – "Kate, sweetheart, just stop struggling. Please, stop struggling."
She makes a strangled moan around the pipe, squeezes her eyes shut. Oh, oh everything hurts. Everything's too…
"Kate, I need you to keep still." She doesn't recognise that voice. It's new. Reassuring, there's on trace of slight panic likes with… Castle. That was Castle. "Just for a minute, and I'll take the tube out."
It's a horrible feeling, having the breathing tube taken out. She wants to gag, and it leaves her throat raw. But then she can breathe. She can breathe and it's painful against the back of her throat, but her lungs are full and the pain is dissipitating. Oh, she could cry. She is crying, she realises, when there's soft fingers catching the tears from her cheeks. Tiny hands, not like Castle. She turns her head, smiles, oh it feels good to smile. Audrey. Brave little Audrey. Still hasn't let go of her hand.
She tries to lift her arm, just to touch her, just to reassure her, but it's heavy and it's difficult. She groans, closes her eyes against the frustration. She wants her family. She needs her family and she can't even lift her arm to touch them.
"Take it easy, Kate. You've just woken up from a coma. It'll take a while for things to return to normal. Don't rush it."
"Baby," she croaks, her eyes turning to Castle, pleading with him, "I was… baby. Castle."
"He's fine. He's perfectly healthy. He's just here." He takes a half step backwards and turns so he can reach into the cot that has been in the room ever since he was allowed. "He's great."
She manages to lift her arm towards Castle, and just like always, he knows what she wants and he carefully settles their son's prone form on Kate's chest. He's startled for a moment, his eyes wide in alarm, but then she feels him relax. Kate knows, remembers from Audrey how comforting just the sound of her heartbeat was to a new born. And it's a comfort to her, to have that familiar weight, the one that she'd grown so used to over the past few months. Audrey still has her hand, and Kate pulls lightly on it, and Audrey moves, curling into her side. The little girl is trying her hardest not to cry, but she can feel the slight tremors in her body. And then there's the way she hides her face in her shoulder. She lets her. She's never one to let anyone see her tears as it is.
The doctor, whatever his name is, somehow manages to work around her, testing her reactions and her memory. And he seems happy. He says he'll keep her in for observation, just for a few more days, and as long as everything is all okay, she'll be free to go home.
He's loathe to disturb her. He doesn't want to because she's had no time with her son. No time with her son, where as he's had a week. But he's had a week of watching her sleep, of not knowing that she's even going to wake up again, and he just… needs to…
"Castle, you're staring."
"Can't help it."
She looks up at him, momentarily torn from her week old son, and she smiles at him. That toothy grin and he almost … okay he is, he can't help welling up. He just… he's spent a week waiting for her to wake up, hoping and wishing on every god and deity that he can think of that Kate would open her eyes again. And she has, and she's okay, she's alive and there's no lasting damage and he thinks he deserves to be emotional.
"Come here." She's shifting sideways in the bed, careful to not disturb the yet to be named baby boy and patting the empty spot she just vacated. And he wants to. He wants to so desperately feel her warm skin and her heartbeat and her breath on his cheek, but he's scared. He's terrified and there's still IV drips and monitors. "Castle, it's fine. Come on."
He doesn't need to be told twice, he's rolling onto the bed next to her. It's a bit of a squish and his son squawks for a short period of time, but he's soon quietened by the sure and deft strokes down the small bump of his nose. Amazing. She's not been aware of him for less than a day and Kate's got him all sussed out. Magic. Just magic.
"He needs a name."
"I'm drawing a blank." He huffed, looking down at his son whose eyes are slowly, slowly slipping shut. "We'll ask Audrey. She might have some ideas."
"She always has some ideas about something or other." Kate hums, leaning her head against his shoulder. "We should wake her up soon."
"She's exhausted. We'll leave her for a while. She'll wake up when she's ready."
"Castle…"
"Yeah?"
"I want my daughter."
"I – yeah, right. Hang on." He slides off the bed and heads for the armchair. Audrey's curled up in it under one of his jackets, fast asleep. He kneels down, wincing a bit at his back and his knees and oh, really he's getting too old for this. "Hey, my little butterfly." She stirs, barely, eyelashes fluttering against her cheeks. "Come on, Audrey. Wake up, there's my girl."
"Momma…" she mumbles, turning her head towards him.
"Momma wants to see you. Why don't you open your eyes." She does, slowly, blinks heavily to try and wake up properly. He feels bad, he does, because she is so completely worn down and he was happy to let her sleep.
Audrey holds her hands out to him and he shouldn't, he really shouldn't because he's old and achy and he's got to stand up again but he picks her up anyway and carries her over to the bed. Baby's eyes are suddenly wide and observing, all traces of sleep gone, concentrating on his big sister. It's not so easy getting onto the bed when he's got Audrey in his arms, but he manages it eventually. She is a heavy weight on his chest, he thinks she's actually still half asleep and he runs his hand up and down her back. "What's his name?"
"We haven't decided yet." Kate replies, reaching over to brush her hair away from her forehead. "You need a haircut."
"He needs a name. Something that starts with an A. We can both be A's."
"Okay. Give us names that begin with an A."
"Adam. Like Adam the Ant. Or Anthony. Or Aaron. Aiden. Alan."
"Alfie." Kate says, looking down at him. "He's an Alfie."
"Alfie-Lee. With a hyphen. Alfie-Lee Castle."
Kate smiles, taps Alfie-Lee's nose with her finger. He wrinkles his face up in confusion and Kate laughs, palming his tiny head with his peach fuzz hair with her palm. "Alfie-Lee Castle. I like it."
-eighteen years later-
She's nervous. Terrified. Shaking in her boots and it feels like her stomach is trying to force its way up her throat. Wouldn't do. Wouldn't do at all. Completely ruin her dress. Oh, she needs her mom. She needs her mom, just to calm her down and remind her to breathe. It's not that she doesn't want to marry Harvey. She does. She loves Harvey more than she's ever loved anything ever in the world, but oh, this is. This is her wedding day. This is the biggest day of her life so far and she is completely freaking out about it. Becky is not particularly helpful, she's too busy worrying about whether or not Harvey will actually turn up. Not that she actually thinks he won't. Audrey would never have been able to even remotely think about dating or moving in or marry Harvey if Becky hadn't passed him on every single test she'd thrown at him. She's just … concerned about her best friend. It's Karisa, sweet little Ellie who sorts everything out. Runs out of the room and down into the actual church where her mother is waiting, sorting, herding and making sure everything is just perfect.
"Audrey, you okay?"
"Mom, oh god, I'm… I'm getting married. How do you get married? I can't get married. How did you get married?"
"Audrey, sweetheart, just breathe. Okay. Breathe." Kate takes her daughter's shoulders, fingers calm and reassuring. "It'll be fine. You love Harvey, and Harvey loves you. And you look… you look absolutely amazing. You look, so beautiful."
"Please don't make me cry. Becky will murder me."
"Alright, alright, I'm sorry. But everything will be fine, okay. Everybody gets pre wedding jitters, and I bet Harvey is just the same. But Audrey, you'll be okay. You'll be absolutely fantastic. You have grown into an remarkable young woman who deserves every happiness in the world. And Harvey will give you that. He makes you so, so happy. I've seen you with him. It's just like me and your father when we were younger."
Audrey lets out a shaky breath and presses the side of her hand to her mouth. "I'm scared."
"Perfectly natural. I was absolutely terrified for like a week before I married your father. And thirty years later, look at us. We're still going strong. Married life, it's hard work, and there are bumps and bruises and sometimes it feels like there's no point, but in the end, it's so worth it. So, you're going to walk down that aisle on the arm of your father, and you're going to marry Harvey and you are going to completely rock it. You hear me? Completely rock it."
"Okay. Okay, I can… I can do it."
"Yes, yes you can." Kate's digging in her jacket pocket for something, and when she pulls it out, Audrey's heart stutters in her chest. "I want you to have this."
"Grandma's ring."
"Something old and something borrowed, right? Except I want you to keep it after. I think I've held on to it for long enough. She'd want you to have it."
Audrey takes it with a trembling hand, the chain cold against her skin and curls it into her palm. "I wish she could be here. I wish… I got my mom back. Sometimes, I thought that you weren't going to wake up, but you did, and I got you back, and I wish…"
"Hey, Audrey. It's okay. I miss my mom every day, but I've got you guys. You, and Alfie and your dad. That's all I need. So, take the ring. It's good luck."
"Thanks, mom. Just, thank you. For everything."
Kate smiles at her, and then pulls her in for a hug, both of them careful to not dislodge or ruin or crease anything. "No need to thank me. It's what I'm here for."
"She's all grown up." They're sat at the head table, both of them feeling the buzz from the champagne, and feeling pleasantly full from the four course meal that was so delicious Kate thinks that she's never going to eat anything ever again.
"She grew up a long time ago, Castle. You just refused to acknowledge it."
"She's my little girl. I'm not supposed to let her grow up. I am supposed to be protective and fight off any man who dares come within touching distance."
"Yeah, you're doing a great job with that. Besides, you've got another little girl to completely spoil rotten. And another on the way. Don't be so downhearted."
"They're grandkids, Kate. Completely different from actually having your own. Even Alfie's all grown up and basketball scholarship all the way across the other side of the country. Audrey will be expecting by the end of the year, I bet you."
Kate throws up a shoulder in a one armed shrug. "Maybe. Might be sooner than you think."
"I – Kate?" he swivels around in his chair to look at her. "Has she – is she – what did she tell you?"
"She hasn't told me anything. I don't think even she knows yet."
"But – how do you know?"
"I've had two kids, Castle. When you've been a mother, you start to recognise the signs. It's like that scene in a hundred and one Dalmatians where Nanny is talking to Anita about the fact Purdy is expecting puppies and she realises that Anita is having her own puppy." She smirks a little and tugs on his hand, tries to get him to stand. "We just know. Now, come on. I know you're old and grey, but I want at least one dance out of you."