Chapter 4
"Maybe we should just have sex."
You're not sure if that was coming from the TV or from the girl beside you on the couch. But when you look her in the eye you know it was her lips who just suggested that.
The flirty smirk is soon replaced by a questioning gaze and you have to bite your lip not to say anything too rushed.
"What? Now?" you ask instead and Santana only shrugs.
"Sure, why not?" she says it like it's something not weird at all and you can't really believe what's happening right now. You can't really believe how calm she is while proposing such an offer.
"I'm not gonna sleep with you just because you think it's convenient," You scoff and cross your arms playfully over your barely-clad chest.
She quirks an eye brow at you;"We've already burst the lie about you not being gay so why wouldn't you have sex with me?"
You raise your eye brows again because you're not going to sleep with a random girl just because you're gay, so you tell her that.
"I'm not gonna sleep with every girl just because I'm gay." She looks at you like she doesn't see the problem. And you guess she really doesn't see the problem since she takes home new people to have sex with every weekend.
"Sex is nice, I'm sure it'll be nice with you too since you're like super hot and your body is… phenomenal, and do I even have to say anything about those legs…? So what's the problem?" You try not to blush at her compliments and instead answer her with a questioningly stare.
"Really? You don't see any problem with us having sex?" you ask bewildered.
"No. I'm hot, you're hot, let's be hot together for one night!" Santana then looks down at her hands. "Or afternoon, or morning... Whatever you want is fine with me".
Just for good measure, she throws in a wink at the end of her sentence.
Before you can start imagining having afternoon sex with Santana, you clamp your thighs together to stop that damn throbbing.
"No, Santana. I'm not gonna have sex with you, even if you're hot".
She doesn't seem too sad about that because she only smiles. You think that has something to do with your acknowledging her hotness.
"Whatever. You'll see that one day you can't resist me anymore," she says and you smile at her because she's being cute again.
"We'll see, we'll see," and you say it like it's a bet.
Will you sleep with her or not, that's the question.
When you walk into the kitchen to rinse yours and Santana's cups from breakfast, you can't help but let your mind wander to Santana and before you know it you start imagining her hands on your body, her lips, and her legs encircling your waist as you have her pushed up against a door.
You have to drag your head out of the gutter when you suddenly feel soft arms encircling your midsection and fingertips dangerously close to where they shouldn't be. Tanned hands start playing with the lace on your sweatpants. Your eyes and body have long forgotten about the tea cups under the running water. Shots of electricity curse through your body as Santana presses her front against your back and you can practically feel her boobs against your shoulder blades.
"Y-you don't should do... don't do that," You manage to say between shallow breaths.
Santana is totally invading your personal space and you hate yourself for liking it so much.
"You should know that, I'm really talented in bed..." a raspy voice purrs in your right ear."People say I have magic fingers..."
As she whispers the words 'magic fingers' her hand slides up under your shirt and are just about to grab at your boobs.
But Santana has other plans as she quickly backs away and once again, leaves you yearning for more.
Just like all the other times, she's out the door faster than you have time to say 'red unicorn' and you hear a muffled 'see ya' from somewhere just outside your apartment door.
XxXx
The following week, you attend an interview at a restaurant that is just down the block from your apartment. The guy who owns the place was named Will and for 35 minutes he told you about his failed marriage with his teenage love. She was, apparently, a real sweetheart the first three years but then she totally changed and she became fake pregnant with their first child. You didn't really follow through the entire story because you spaced out right after his first love stole his wallet and bought all the blue gums in a candy store and then flew to China, with all the gums, and the remaining of his money. You don't really know how he ended up here at the restaurant or what he was doing here at all. You've never really been to a job interview before but you were expecting a little more talking about you, and not his failed love life. But you didn't really mind since when he was done sobbing about his life, you got the job.
You're starting your new job on Tuesday next week and you're going to be working most days of the week.
XxXx
It's a little after six on Friday night when you hear loud voices in the stairwell. Thinking nothing of it, you flip down on the couch, adjusting the pillow under your head while zapping through the channels on your TV. Pausing at Jersey Shore, you lay the remote down beside you and start to enjoy the way Snookie is trying to sneak out of the shop they're working in. Sniggering quietly to yourself you keep avoiding the voices coming from outside the apartment.
When a loud bang erupts you catch yourself from almost falling over the edge of the sofa. You curse whoever made such a noise while trying to steady your breathing from the shock.
You sit up on the edge, unravel yourself from the cozy blanket and turn the volume down so you can hear what's going on outside your apartment.
"Just freakin' go!" a loud voice shrills through the air and you're 98% sure that was Santana. You crawl towards the front door, as if you're in a Bond movie and someone is going to find you if you don't crawl.
"Santana, just listen to me". You stand up when you've reached the door and you look through the peep hole. There's a guy with a Mohawk waving his arms around right outside your front door. You stumble back a little because you didn't think they were that close.
"No, Puck. Just go. I can take care of myself, thank you!" You see Santana's hand as she takes a grip on the guy's, Puck's, bicep and drag him towards the elevator. He only gives her a look that you can't read and Santana bites her lip and looks down towards her shoes. The pat he then gives her on her shoulder seems kind of brotherly and you sigh in relief. You don't really know why that makes you calmer, but it does. When the guy leaves in the elevator, Santana reaches her hands up and weaves them through her hair. She stands there for a while and you want to invite her in. You kind of just want to hug her because she looks lost.
You open the door and Santana's head turns so fast that you're afraid she'll get a whiplash. But she seems fine so you open the door a little wider.
You want to know if she's okay but you have a feeling that if you ask that she won't answer it truthfully. So you only look at her and give her a shy smile. She returns it and you open the door even more and go to the side so that Santana have room to enter your apartment if she wants to.
And she does. Without saying anything, she walks past you into your kitchen.
"You want something to drink?" you ask her when she takes a seat in one of the chairs.
"Sure," she smiles at you. You take out two glasses and ask if she wants wine. She smiles wider and nods her head. You chuckle and pour two glasses with red wine.
Santana asks you how your day was and you tell her that you've been talking to your parents and you also had a short conversation with Tubbs but he wasn't in the mood for a talk so it was short-lived. Santana smiles with her dimples and you keep talking about your cat because that seem to make her smile grow and you love her smile.
You feel like you can get used to this, inviting Santana over, drinking wine with her and talking about your day. It feels like the perfect Friday night.
You ask about Santana's day and you silently hope that she'll tell you something about Puck, but she doesn't. She talks about what food she ate to lunch and that her friend came over to talk work with her.
Santana asks you if you shouldn't move into the living room, since it's more comfortable to sit on the couch. And you agree. When you start to move into the living room, you can't help but wonder what she works with. She's never told you and you really want to know.
"I want to ask you a question", you say as you sit down next to Santana on your couch. She only gives you a cute smile and raises her eye brows as if to say "go on".
"What do you do for a living?" you ask when you've taken a sip from your red wine.
Santana sucks in a deep breath before biting her lower lip and looking bashfully down into her lap. You can't take how adorable she's being so you reach your hand out to poke her knee. Santana only smiles wider before looking up at you.
"I'm in a band actually. I'm the singer… but I play the guitar too sometimes." Santana says while chewing her lower lip. "We play at this club around the block every weekend". She looks up at you as if she's insecure about her job. You don't understand why because it sounds awesome. And you're pretty sure the club she's talking about is the same club you walked by the first day when you were going grocery shopping after Quinn left.
"Can you sing for me?" you ask while fluttering your eye lashes at her. She only snorts a laugh before shaking her head.
"No," she breathes and you stare at her face silently for a second longer than you probably should. You can't help yourself; she's gorgeous.
"Why?" you pout at her and you only receive a playful smile.
"I don't do private concerts," she winks at you, and you're pretty sure that if she winks at you again, you'll faint.
You bite your lip to stifle your enormous smile, but you're kind of failing and Santana's smile only grows so you let go of your lip and just let yourself smile at her.
"Soo… I could go to that club sometime and I'll hear you sing?" you ask shyly. You're not sure if she wants to hang with you outside of this apartment and you don't want her to think that you're persistent. But you're worries subside when she sets her glass down on the table, relaxes against the back of the couch and smiles widely at you.
"Of course," she answers and you follow her lead and set your glass down. Suddenly, she looks pretty serious and she flicks her eyes down to her lap. You want to ask 'what' but instead you wait for her to say something. When she doesn't you poke her knee that is tucked under her other leg and she meets your gaze.
She must see your silent question because she takes a deep breath and the seriousness in her eyes gets replaced by a more flirtatious look.
"I was just thinking…" she starts slowly and your heart starts beating a little faster out of nerves and maybe something else too. "Have you thought about what I said before?" she asks you and you rack your brain trying to realize what she's talking about. She's talked about a lot of things since you met her and you don't really know what exactly she's talking about right now.
"You've said a lot of things…" you say and watch her warily. "I've thought about what you've been saying a lot, but I think you need to be a bit more specific." She smiles her perfect smile again and you watch her dimples form in her cheeks.
"Well, you know… about that we should like… you know… I mean, I would just really want to know what it's like to kiss you. And other stuff… but like, if you're up for it maybe we could just kiss, just once. I mean you don't have to, but your lips look really soft and it would be awesome to, like, see if they are that soft against my lips-" she stops abruptly and covers her eyes with one hand while muttering something under her breath.
You can't hear what she's mumbling about because you're too focused on the fact that she thinks your lips look soft, and that she wants them on her own lips. You know she wants to kiss you; she's made that pretty clear. But she has never been shy about that before and now she's hiding from you because she's embarrassed and it kind of makes your smile grow though it shouldn't and you can't help but reach forward to take her hands away from her perfect face.
You want to tell her that she can kiss you right now and that she can do whatever she wants with you because you're pretty sure you wouldn't mind. But that nagging feeling somewhere in your brain stops you. You've seen her take random people home to her apartment every weekend since you moved here. You've seen her hide from them the morning after. You know she kisses people a lot and you know her enough to know that the kisses don't mean anything special to her.
When she'll kiss you, you know there'll be no turning back. When she'll kiss you, you know you'll fall. And you can't do that. You can't fall in love and then get your heart broken when you're just one of her many hook-ups.
So you reach your hands out and stop her from hiding from you. You tell her to look at you and she does. Her eyes are a mix between embarrassment and hope and your heart clenches at the sight.
"You can kiss my cheek if you want…" you don't know why you said that, it just slipped out. You figure it can't do much harm if it's just on the cheek. The idea of her kissing your cheek is totally lame but she only smirks.
You think that she'll laugh at you but she nods and whisper a quiet 'okay'. You're heart is having a panic attack in your chest and you try to sooth it with deep breaths but you get distracted when Santana shuffles closer to you on the couch. You can smell her perfume and her hot breath is tickling your skin on your face when she's close enough to set your head on a spin. You brace yourself for her lips and you close your eyes hard to reduce the possibility of actually getting a heart attack.
"So…" her voice comes out low and raspy and you gulp audibly. "I'm just gonna kiss your cheek now…" you think she's going to start rambling again if you don't say anything but you're in no state to actually speak so you only nod your head.
You're eyes are still closed when you feel her getting even closer to you. Your heart rate is getting out of control and your body feels hot. It's pretty embarrassing how this situation can affect you so much; she hasn't even touched you yet.
Suddenly, you feel soft lips on your cheek, right next to your nose. Her lips are warm and a little wet and they feel electric against your skin. You feel a hand press against the other side of your cheek and Santana's lips press harder against you. You hear her breathe through her nose and her lips leave your skin for half a second before they're on your cheek again, this time a little closer to your cheekbone. A shiver runs down your body when Santana opens her lips just the smallest bit wider and drag her lips just an inch closer to your ear.
You don't know if you've ever felt this way about a kiss to your cheek before but you wish you could feel this way every time someone kisses you because it's breathtaking. Santana loosens her grip on your face and you feel cold when her lips leave your skin.
You manage a smile at her when she retreats a couple of inches from you and you reach your fingertips up to your face as if to check if that really just happened.
When she looks down at your lips with hooded eyes, you're not sure how long you'll last before you'll pin her down against your couch and make her feel your love. But you shake your head because that can't happen.
"That was… uhm nice." Santana looks at you tentatively and it looks like she thinks she did something wrong. Which she didn't, she was great. She was more than great.
"Yeah… it was great," you agree because you can't tell her a kiss on your cheek turned you on more than any other kiss you've ever shared with someone. "Though, that was a little more than just one kiss," you add playfully and Santana bows her head with a bashful smile.
"Sorry," she mumbles and you poke her knee again to make her look up at you. You also poke her knee because you take every chance you get at touching her. That sounded creepy, but you've allowed yourself to sound creepy when it comes to Santana.
"It's totally okay, you're good at kissing cheeks," you say, because it's true.
"Thanks, you're really good at being kissed on the cheek," she says and you scrunch your nose up because that doesn't make any sense. You poke her again and she giggles. You poke her once more and she smiles brightly at you. You could sit and poke her all day if she gives you that smile every time, but you have to pee so you stand up from the couch and wobbles a little before regaining your balance.
"I've gotta pee," you say to Santana and she nods at you. You stumble in to the bathroom and the first thing you meet there is the mirror and the girl in the mirror has rosy cheeks and a goofy smile that could be seen from miles away. You try to brush the smile away because you look ridiculous, but the smile seems to be permanent.
You pee and wash your hands and when you get back to the living room, Santana has her phone in her hands and it seems like she's texting frantically. You sit down next to her and she looks up at you with an apologetic look.
"I'm sorry Britt, I've gotta go. My band needs me in this super important meeting apparently, and I can't seem to convince them that I don't have to be there." She sighs and press some more buttons on her phone before tucking it in her pocket.
You're still pretty happy, even if she'll leave, because she tried to stay here with you.
Santana stands up from the couch and she extends her hand out to you. "Follow me to the door?" she asks, winking at you. You stumble again when you stand up because her winks do things to your body that you have no control over.
You walk hand in hand to your door and you watch her put her shoes on.
"We're playing at the club tomorrow night, you should come and listen," she says while resting a hand on the door handle. "Maybe I could buy you a drink and introduce you to my friends in the band?" You smile; that sounds awesome. You nod and she smiles and you take a step forward. You didn't plan what to do, you just walked forward. She looks at you a little shocked that you've closed the distance between you but you don't let your insecurities show when you encircle your arms around her shoulders. You burry you nose in her neck and you breathe in her scent, as if to save it for later. You feel her arms around your waist and you smile against her skin.
When you let go of each other, she grins widely at you before opening the door and skipping out of your apartment.
XxXx
Hey guys! Thought I'd update today because I'm happy! Just came out to my sister and she was totally cool with it. She said that she thinks it's the person you fall in love with and not their gender, which I totally agree with. So yeah, I'm happy!
And thank you, thank you, thank you, for your reviews. I really appreciate your suggestions and I really listen to them! So leave a review if you want to say hi or something.
Bye!