"And the baby?" The words are anguished, breathless.

"The baby's fine, Mr. Grey."

"Oh, thank God." The words are a litany…A prayer. "Oh, thank God."

The clock's hand is steady but seems hardly moving. Time is trickling by so slowly.

And I'm waiting.

I'm waiting.

I'm waiting for her to wakeup; I'm waiting to know that she is really okay. I want to see with my own eyes that she can be up, sitting and speaking with me. I want to hear her voice and hold her face in my hands. I want her to kiss me back when my lips meet hers. For now, she can do none of this, though. I am waiting. Fucking waiting.

The room is so silent that I can practically hear the clock hand's movement. It is a gentle lullaby, reminding me that time is still moving though it seems to be inching by slower than ever. It is reminding me that she is alive- that I am that much closer to the moment when she will wake again.

I had been able to get up today, move around more and meet my mother who brought me some clothes and coffee. She's a sweet woman; too kind. I don't deserve her. I'm stroking Ana's hair absentmindedly with my fingers, massaging her scalp and keeping the strands of hair out of her eyes. She's a beautiful woman. She's mine- both of them are. With a wary glance to her stomach, I remove my hand from her hair and watch her belly, rising and falling with her breath. The baby is not yet strong enough to kick, but I know it's in there- my son or daughter. Carefully, I take my hand and sprawl my fingers over her stomach. I keep my hand there- protecting my child- and watch her. Ana's eyes are fluttering every once in awhile. They're beautiful. Her lashes are casting a dark glow on her cheeks, making her appear sicker than she is. It takes all I have to turn away and try to remember that she isn't that sickly…

I let my thoughts wander for a moment's time, reeling them in only when Ana moves suddenly, furrows her brows, and then evens her breathing once more. Relaxing against her pillows again, her lips settle into the semblance of a smile and I twitch my lips upward as well. I wonder idly what she's dreaming of. I let myself believe for a brief moment that she's dreaming of me, but I know this isn't true. She's smiling. If she were dreaming of me, she wouldn't be smiling. With a heavy sigh, I heave myself from my chair, removing my hand from her stomach and beginning to pace as I have been for quite some time over the course of the last seventeen hours.

I cross my arms in front of my chest, watching grimly as I study the lines on her heart monitor. Little mountains beep on and off, on and off as I stare. For five minutes I do this, watching the monitor and listening to the little noises it makes. Blip…Blip…Beep…

Blip.

My child.

The perfect little name for our perfect, miniscule baby.

"I'm glad you're okay," I spoke out loud as if the child could hear me. I had been told it could. "I'm sorry I reacted so ridiculously."

I stared at her stomach once more. I awaited an answer, but of course there would be none. My child couldn't think yet; my child could hardly hear my apology, I'm sure.

"Are you a boy or a girl?" I took a seat beside Ana's bed once more and leaned on my elbows next to her side. "I sort of wish you were neither. I don't want a son that's anything like me and I don't want a daughter that's anything like your mother."

I ran a shaky hand through my hair, mulling over the thoughts that were running through my mind.

"This is really difficult, Junior," I remarked lightly. "We weren't ready for you. You were the least of our worries."

I sit there speaking to my child for awhile. It's hard to believe that I have gained a baby just as quickly as I could have lost him or her. I had felt a stab of anger when Ana had told me that she was pregnant. I wasn't ready for that; I couldn't be a father. But then she had gone missing. She'd been hurt. And when I saw her, lying on the ground, the stab of anger rolled off me and a gut-wrenching desperation filled the inner parts of my soul. For a split second I thought she was gone; really gone. My wife and my child were dead. I wasn't prepared, but I had gripped the reality in my hands. Painful as it was, I knelt beside her and expected to find no heartbeat. But I had. I had felt her pulse, faint, but present, and I had scooped her into my arms and held her and my child close to my heart. I'm not sure I had ever experienced something so intimate. It was the strangest feeling I had ever felt. It was where I needed to be.

I breathed in a deep breath of air. Antiseptic and alcohol filled my mouth and I screwed up my face in disgust.

"They need a new signature scent, what do you think, Junior?"

I chuckled quietly to myself as I felt my mood lift slightly.

"I'll try to be a good Dad to you, kid," I whispered, rubbing Ana's stomach gently. "I'll try not to have too many rules for you and I'll always keep you safe. You'll have everything you need, I promise."

I felt Ana's hand twitch under my own slightly and for a moment my breath caught in my throat. She wasn't waking, though. Her hand settled back gently next to mine and I loosened up once more, directing my attention to Blip again.

"I'll try to stow my twitching palm as long as you let me approve any contracts you consider agreeing to, deal?"

My dry laughter filled the room as I rolled my eyes. This was insanity and I needed sleep. I'd settle in on the chair once more and wait for her to wake. They had mentioned that with all the slight movement, she may be awake by morning. Holding onto this, I looked forward to what day break would bring. Even if she was awake, though, it would be another nine months before I was able to meet our child and be sure that they were okay as well.

It was always that way. I always had to fucking wait.

Relinquishing control for the night, at least, I turned off the dim light over the bed and curled into the chair next to her as comfortably as possible. I was used to manipulating my body- it wasn't a hard fit.

"Goodnight, Mrs. Grey." I mumbled.

And with that, I was plunged into the depths of my mind once more.