A/N: Began: 4/28/13 End: 5/6/13
Nobody likes you and you're 23.
I don't know how old you all are, but my 5th-8th grade life was filled with some pretty awesome pop punk music. I miss those days, not the actual memories (hated middle school) but the songs. They were pretty fucking groovy. Far out, you know? Anyway, I got me a beta reader! Qwerty123, yay! Also, I have been reading John Green again. He ruins my life a lot. You should all love him.
It's quite easy to win over those who know a little about you. It's a bit like getting a first impression over with only there is no first impression. There's just a predetermined impression of who you are as a person and whether someone can accept that or not. It's easy to win over a person who knows a little about you, much easier than winning over a total stranger.
Lily Evans made her way to the hospital wing to check up on her fellow prefect. When she entered, she saw a dazed Remus with a very agitated expression. "Remus…" she walked to his bedside. "How you feeling, buddy?"
"What's your name again? I don't know anyone's name anymore…" he looked lost and very much like a scarred, hairless puppy. The idea should have repulsed Lily a little, but instead she just pitied him.
"Lily Evans. We were on and off friends. By that, I mean I can tolerate you the most of all of your idiot friends." Save for James. "You were… are the sanest."
"If I'm the sanest, why do they want to take me to St Mungos? Do you think you can stop them, Lily Evans? I don't want to go." His voice had an almost childish tone to it. Lily's heart was sinking further and further, while her stomach seemed to be bubbling up into her esophagus. Whoever did this to Remus was a sick bastard. Remus should be snogging Sirius and studying for NEWTS, not stuck in a hospital bed with no memory of… well, anything! Lily swallowed any stomach acid that got stuck in her throat and smiled.
"I'll do what I can sweetie. I'll go to Dumbledore if I have to." Lily lied. She personally thought St. Mungos was the perfect place for him to help recover his memory. She wondered who 'they' were.
"Who's Dumbledore again?" he asked.
"The headmaster, I think you met him."
"Oh yeah… I keep forgetting anyway. I hate that…" Remus turned over in his bed and grabbed something from his nightstand; a book. He turned back to Lily and opened it up to a picture of him and Lily. "That's you, right? You're one of the first people I saw. I opened this book and I thought you were pretty, just saying."
"Is Remus trying to flirt with me?" Lily smirked. "What did they do, put some weird tonic in your meals? What would Black say?"
"I… I don't know… was I coming on as flirty? Oh dear, I didn't mean to. It's just your face brought me… comfort. I MEAN! Oh Merlin…" Remus scratched his head. "Forget I said anything." He made no clear sign that Lily even mentioned Sirius. This put Lily off.
"Remus, have you seen Sirius? You know who he is, right?" Lily bit her lip, she felt like she was treading a very delicate path. She hoped the path didn't cause her to tread on anyone's heart or anything. Surely, Sirius would be in shock. It would be shock enough to wake up and have someone say 'Hey! You got a boyfriend!' and have you not remember him.
"I know of Sirius Black, yes. We talked some… I don't get it, Lily Evans. I don't understand… him." Remus' puppy dog face was coming back, and Lily leaned back.
"Don't understand what, sweetie? I mean, there's plenty to not understand, but let's start somewhere." The redhead crossed her arms. "I'll try to explain a much as possible."
"Alright, why Sirius Black? I talked to him some, and he's perfectly nice. Nice… and yet loud and my absolute opposite. Unless… second question: was I as loud as Sirius Black, but the whole memory thing made me forget that I became loud?" Remus looked like he was about to ask a third question, but Lily cut him off before he could.
"Well…" it was like explaining how babies were made to a child, chipping away at Remus' weirdly fresh, child-like mind. "From what I saw, Sirius Black treated… treats you like a prince. He's loyal to the end, brave too. I never thought I would say it, but Sirius is very brave to walk around and proudly say he loves you. No, you weren't loud. You two were still a little opposite, all things considering. You weren't loud, but your voice to him was sonic. There was no greater joy in having you as his. And Remus, I can't make you fall back in love with a guy you don't remember. I can't restore memories, I wish I could…" tears threatened to spill down her face. "But you can make new ones, try him out, Sirius. He tried you out. And he was smitten."
"Before I can try anyone out, I need to get out of going to St. Mungos. I'm fine… really. It might take time, but I can figure things out." Remus struggled to get out of bed. "I need to stay here though. I have classes, responsibilities. I need to…" He fell to the floor, he realized it was a long time ago he ever had to use his legs. Lily rushed to his side.
"Sweetie… let's not rush things."
OoOoOo
"I should be snogging Remus right now." Sirius stared at a book without reading it. One could guess he wasn't reading it, seeing as he picked it up fifteen minutes ago, and had not turned the page since then. It was saddening, seeing such a neglected book. The book looked interesting enough. But alas, Ten Facts that Distinguish Lycanthropes as Better Creatures than Vampires was poorly abused and ignored. Sirius finally gave up on reading and put the book down, leaning forward. He was in the Gryffindor common rooms. The maroon and gold that adorned the room did not give him the same comfort as it usually did.
"You need to get outside more," James said, sitting across for him. "You know, I went muggle skiing, the family wanted to try it out. At the hotel we stayed in, the muggles had something called television? The television had a delightful little program called Doctor Who, and this man who wore a cape ran around through time and space and saved the world and stuff. He always got outside a lot. He had a blue time machine and a sonic screwdriver. It was like a wand, but cooler. A wand is a bit of a tosser compared to a sonic." James sighed. "I really want to watch another muggle television show…"
"What the fuck are you even talking about, Prongs?" Sirius snapped. "How does this help anything?"
"The Doctor always helps…"
"The Doctor is not real, unlike us. We are two perfectly real individuals. No way we're just characters that bring hours of entertainment to fans." Sirius looked down. "We're perfectly real… perfectly real…"
"Now you're the awkward one in the conversation. Stop acting all daft…of course we are real." James looked wide-eyed facing forward… almost as if he were looking at the reader of this tale. "Now, how do you plan to regain the affections of Remus?" James scratched behind his ear, looking back at Sirius.
"Well, he says that the rebel thing is off putting." Sirius looked at his shaggy mane "I think he's just being ass about things, but, you know…"
"The rebel thing is off-putting. That's why I first made friends with you, intimidation factor." James looked particularly smug.
"Did you just tell me that you only became my friend because I look intimidating? Merlin James, it's like it's your life ambition to piss people off!" Sirius looked incredulous.
"Well… I stayed for the personality!" James managed.
"Unbelievable! This wouldn't even affect me if my life was more awesome right now, but this is affecting me in my fragile state!"
"You'll get over it. I mean, I only chose Remus because of his scars. You are all… the Chosen Ones. I like the ring to that. Peter just kind of… followed me a lot." James took out a bag of fruit from his bag, which lay next to the chair he was sitting in. "Blueberry?"
"Can we focus here?" Sirius clenched his hands into fists, obviously annoyed. "So… I hang out with Remus a lot. And if I just… go slow, go painfully slow, I can win him back, right?"
"Well… why go slow? Sirius, somewhere the Remus we know is still there. I have no doubt in my mind he's just as gay as he was before he was attacked. He's in shock, as usual. Every single day of his life has been a shock to him. You know how he thinks," James scratched his elbow, and Sirius focused on the action rather than James' face. "He's always shocked he has friends, he's always shocked he has you. This time around, it's a bigger shock. Show him that you are there."
"Wouldn't any rash moves cause more shock anyway?" Sirius deadpanned.
"Not as much as you would think. And you know, if any crazy things you do scare him… we can always hope his memory will be restored, right?" James looked a thousand years his senior. "You have to put a positive spin on this. Only way you can get through it."
"That's living in denial, because nothing good comes out of this situation." Sirius was angry, he felt like James didn't take this quite as seriously as he should. "Nothing good is going to ever come out of this!"
"No, it isn't denial. And there is a good thing to this. It's somewhere, you need to man up and find it." James got up and nodded. "You only have so long; you know they might ship him off to see some better healers at St. Mungos. If he leaves, Merlin knows when you'll see him again, so man up and show him you're there."
"I thought he wanted a romantic… not a rebel."
"That's not it at all, Sirius. He wants his other goddamn half. Trust me; I know what it's like to want another half. He may not show it, but that's what he wants." James sounded like a seer, repeating a mantra as he again added, "Man up.", and left.
Sirius didn't care how close it was to his next class. He was making his way to the Infirmary and he was going to see Remus. He walked into the hospital and sat down by Remus' bed, Remus looked up at him from a book and Sirius exhaled sharply, leaned forward, and gave Remus a peck on the lips. The kiss left Remus' lips icy cold. The breath left Remus' lungs and he looked shocked.
"Well… hi." Remus put his palms on Sirius' shoulders and pushed him back. Sirius did not take any offense, on the contrary he grinned.
"First off, you aren't going to St Mungos. I'll chain you to the bed if I have to. Second, that's how I'm going to greet you every day, until you kiss back. Because I know at one point you will kiss back. Okay?"
"…You can keep dreaming, Sirius Black." Remus stuttered.
"I am quite dreamy, don't you think?" Sirius flipped his hair back for the awkward chuckles that Remus managed. "Third, you should try going back to classes tomorrow. Two days in bed is more than enough for even you, handsome."
"You're the biggest flirt I've ever met, if I could remember the people I did meet." Remus still had his palms on Sirius' shoulders. "Not sure… how I feel about the flirting."
"And that's okay. I just need to show you more than ever exactly what you mean to me." He said it so casually, Sirius. Remus felt guilty once again for not knowing him.
"I wish… I wish I could return those sentiments. It's hard to though, I mean… are we even a couple anyway, Sirius Black?" Remus chewed on dead skin that was flaking off his lips as Sirius leaned back and sat down. Remus hesitated to put down his hands. "Lily Evans came, she's a pretty redhead. She told me to… try you."
Sirius hated hearing Remus compliment Lily. She was not Sirius. Not only was she not Sirius but she was a girl. Remus possibly meant nothing by it, but at the same time, Sirius felt that the only person Remus should find aesthetically pleasing was, well… Sirius! "Well, then go ahead. I would be more than willing to try along with you. Why do you keep calling people by their first and last name?"
"Well," Remus looked Sirius up and down. "You look like a first-and-last-name type of person. I can't imagine you as just Sirius. You just look like a Sirius Black." Remus' head tilted upward. "Though for some reason, I want to call you Mr. Black."
Sirius felt like crying from happiness. Did this mean there was a small part of Remus who still remembered a little? Mr. Black was Sirius' name at one point, he intended for it to stay that way. "I… I go by that a lot, actually." The rebel lied. "Can I kiss you again?"
"Buy me dinner first."
"You're in a hospital bed, but I can hand deliver it to you."
"Are you really considering buying me dinner?"
Sirius smirked. "I told you I would never stop trying." He clapped his hands and stood up. "What do you want? The elves are excellent cooks."
"Sirius…" Remus knew he could get in trouble for sneaking anything more than candy into the hospital wing; he didn't need to have his memory to know that.
"Not taking no for an answer, and you know it. Name a food." Sirius rubbed his palms together. In spite of himself, Remus smiled. "You're… funny, a funny guy. You're strange, Sirius Black."
"Of course I am, only the strange ones are worth your time." Sirius said. "Name a food, now."
"Well… got any bangers and mash?" Remus asked. Sirius snapped his fingers one and nodded, walking out of the room. Remus laughed in spite of himself. Okay, that was a little too cute for him.
Wait… he didn't mean cute. He meant… striking? Maybe the word was… sweet? Whatever it was, for the smallest of moments, Remus could see this working out. He could see himself with a boy like Sirius. He was funny and charming enough. He was still a boy though, which freaked Remus out for an unexplained reason. Remus was no longer in the 'pity me, my memory is gone' stage and now in the 'this is a real thing that I need to deal with' stage. He hated it, how was he going to deal with Sirius? How was Sirius going to keep him from going to St. Mungos? Was he really going to kiss him every day? Why was Remus half-okay with that? When, what, where, how and why; there were plenty of questions to be answered, and not enough answers to correspond with the questions.
Sirius returned with two plates of bangers and mash, and Remus ate the sausages first, while Sirius started with his potatoes. Remus watched how the rebel ate. He was an almost dignified messy. He laughed at any food that somehow didn't end up in his mouth, but cleaned it up, and he apologized for his lack of manners. He was a terrible gentleman. Remus wished he could eat his food in an interesting manner.
"So I was reading up on prestigious wizard families, you are a Black, right?" Remus made polite conversation.
"Nothing prestigious about the Black family, we're just a load of cowards. But yes, I'm one of them." Sirius finally touched his sausage.
"You speak ill of your family often, Sirius Black?" Remus swallowed down the last of his bangers. They were a little chewy, but still pretty good.
"All the time," Sirius said simply. "They make for good comedic material, the things they do." He said no more to say on the subject.
"So I assume you know about the whole…werewolf thing. Can't imagine how you can't know. Unless you're too stupid to tell, you must know by now."
"I found out in third year, it was the same day you first kissed me, I believe. We did an awful lot of chasing around that day," Sirius smiled. "Then you took me out on this lame excuse for a date, but it was… cute."
"You willingly went out with a werewolf?" Remus shook his head. "Are you insane?"
"I'm a little insane, yes."
"I guess that's okay… that date couldn't have been much worse than this! I'm lying in a hospital bed." Remus teased.
"So… this is a date?" Sirius wiggled his eyebrows seductively.
"Ah, did I say that, no I didn't." Remus said.
"You kind of did."
"You're imagining things." Remus slapped himself internally. "What do you do for fun, Sirius Black?"
"…Let's find out." Sirius set Remus' food aside and grabbed his hand, pulling him out of his bed. Remus resisted a little but Sirius huffed "Oh come on, it's not like you're paralyzed! Do you trust me?"
"Can I trust you?" Remus stood up shakily. He was still in a hospital gown. "And can I have… trousers?"
"I dunno, the hospital gown if kind of sexy." Sirius said. They were still holding hands, and Remus looked down. He didn't squeeze back, but he didn't yank his arm back either.
"Sirius Black, you get me some trousers right now!" Remus demanded. Sirius did the unthinkable: he took off his own off with a goofy grin and handed them to Remus. "Sirius Black, you give me trousers that fit, those are going to be too big!" Remus squeaked. Sirius was being quite childish.
"Too big? Thank you!" Sirius cackled and it was then that Remus drew his hand back. Sirius found some clothing of Remus' tucked away under his bed and Remus slipped on the trousers only to find that there was no shirt for him. Remus growled.
"I layered my shirts today, here." Sirius took off his button up and revealed a white tank top. Remus looked away so fast, he nearly got whiplash. He wanted to avoid the fact that Sirius had a pretty good body. He wanted to just be friends for now, Remus needed to remember what his own want was. The lycanthrope took the shirt and slipped it on, buttoning it up. It was pretty loose on him. Sirius grabbed his hand again.
"Now let's go… have some fun. I'm checking you out of the hospital wing early." Sirius took off in a run, pulling Remus along with him.
A/N: To prove you read these, and freak out people who read the reviews before reading the stories, everyone who reviews should post either "PETER YOU LITTLE SLUT!" or "YOU BETTER NOT KILL OFF JAMES, ASSHOLE!" let's freak out potential new readers, as well as confuse any jerk who doesn't read my beautiful A/Ns.
Like the new cover for it? I realized I'm shit at Photoshop while making it. If anyone can make one that's any better, contact me.
Be sure to thank the lovely qwerty123 for the beta! She did a smashing job!