Chapter 12
You waddle into Santana's bedroom while she crawls in behind you. You think she's representing a lizard by the way she twists and bends her body. You're pretending to be a duck and you clarify your imitation by quacking. Santana giggles behind you and you turn around to see her lying sprawled out on the floor, face down on the carpet. You take a step towards her and you stumble a little, your mind is still foggy because of the alcohol. But Santana is way drunker than you are.
After you shrugged of your jackets, Santana opened a bottle of wine and that bottle is now standing empty on the coffee table in Santana's living room. You then decided you should probably head to bed, before the ghosts come out and get you. You tell Santana that ghosts are not allowed to be in the bed because of some higher power and so Santana dragged you into the bedroom. But before you entered, you told her you have to pretend to be animals so the ghosts will be confused and not follow you inside the bedroom. Santana widens her eyes and tells you to hurry up pretending to be an animal.
And now she's lying on the floor and you bend down and you lie down beside her. You can still hear her giggle into the carpet and you start to giggle with her because her giggle is infectious. Santana starts laughing and then she's turning her body around and she looks at you. You quack at her and she starts laughing again.
When you've spend three minutes on the floor, Santana walks over to her wardrobe to give you some PJs. You waddle up behind her and you peer over her shoulder. She hands you a pair of shorts and you take them. Then she gives you a pink top and tells you to get inside the clothes.
"Turn around," you tell her when she's given you all of your clothes. "Don't look," you say and she turns around and she places her hands over her eyes.
"Okaay," she drawls out with a giggle and then she hiccups. And you chuckle at her while fiddling with the zip on your dress. You manage to get it down and then you pull on the shorts. Santana hiccups again and you laugh even harder. When the pink top is stuck in your arms, over your head, and you can't see anything, you scream out a quiet 'help'.
You hear Santana turn around and she shuffles closer to you. "I'll help you," she says before she places her hands flat down on your stomach. She drags her fingertips between your abs and you breathe in deeply.
"Santana," you say and she hums. "Help me," you tell her and then she lets out a muffled 'oh', before starting to pull your shirt down over your head.
When Santana walks into the bathroom to change her own clothes, you take the liberty to get underneath the covers on her bed.
It's comfy and it smells like Santana. You think it's her own scent mixed with her shampoo and you burry your nose into the mattress. You hum contently and you turn your body so you're lying flat on your stomach, gripping her pillows.
"Have you ever done a shot up-side down?" Santana asks as she comes crawling in to bed next to you and you shake your head slowly.
"Have you?" you ask back but you're not sure she's heard you because your mouth is squashed against the bed.
"No," she mumbles and you guess she heard.
Suddenly you feel fingertips on your back and sigh against the pillow. She trips her fingers up your back and when she's reached your shoulder blades, she adds the slightest pressure, making you moan quietly.
"We should play truth or dare," you tell Santana when you're both laying underneath the blankets, only your heads visible over the tops. Santana only quirks her eyebrow amusedly and you think she's waiting on you to ask the first question so you open your mouth to give her the question.
"Truth or dare?" She narrows her eyes while tapping her chin in thought.
"Hm," she says and you wait for her to decide.
"Come on San, we don't have all night." She snorts at you and you smile widely.
"Truth," she says and you roll your eyes.
"Dork," you say because you wanted her to choose dare.
"Just ask me the question woman," she says while poking your toe with hers underneath the blanket.
"Have you ever had a sex dream about me?" you ask and you wink at her.
"Yes," she says flatly and you stop smiling immediately.
"What happened?" you ask because now you're intrigued. You didn't think she would say yes, it was more like a joke.
"You can't ask two questions, now it's my turn."
You roll your eyes and make a mental note to ask her about this later.
"Truth or dare?" she says and you hesitate before you tell her "dare".
Her eyes twinkle and a mischievous smile spreads across her lips.
Oh no, you think. This could be exactly anything and you really don't want to run naked around the block or something.
"I dare you to… touch my boobs."
And you choke on your own saliva. And then you shake your head and clear your throat. That would stride against your rules, big time.
"Santana," you say sternly and her smile only grows.
"Come on," she whispers while searching for your hand underneath your blankets.
You don't think it's an accident when she somehow manages to slide her hand up your inner thigh before she finds your left hand.
You giggle but she takes your hand and she places it on her stomach.
You keep giggling but she tries to shush you down.
"Touch my boobs," she whispers but half way through her sentence she gives into a giggle and you giggle together before you feel the urge to get your hand back, before something bad happens.
"That's not what friends do," you say and she pouts but she can't hold it for long as she keeps smiling.
"Truth or dare?" you tell her and tuck your hand beside you on the mattress again.
"Dare," she says and you smile wide at her.
But then you realize you don't have a good dare so you purse your lips and you try to think of something good.
Then you have it.
It's perfect.
So you blurt it out before you could change your mind.
"I dare you to go on a date with me."
Santana widens her eyes and she looks at you in the darkness of her room.
"Britt…" she says but you don't say anything. You want her to answer you. You want her to say yes. You want her to go on a date with you and even though the mood was playful five seconds ago, it's dead serious now. The bliss you felt from the alcohol only moments ago is gone and you feel nervous and tense.
Santana tucks her lips into her mouth and you look at her face, impatiently waiting for an answer.
But maybe you shouldn't dare her, because that leaves her no option to do as she wants. And you want her to want to go on a date with you.
"Would you go on a date with me?" you ask instead and the furrow between her eyebrows only increases.
"Britt," she says again but this time it's more like a sigh. Like she doesn't want you to ask her that. Like you should know that she won't go on a date with you if you asked. But you want to ask because you want her to tell you she wants to go with you. You'll even pay, you'll do anything.
"I don't like dates." You look into her eyes and she looks apologetic.
"So?" you say because she can learn to like dates. She could try and go on a date with you and maybe she'll like it. She can't just say she doesn't like them when she hasn't even tried it with you.
You plan awesome dates and she won't know if she doesn't agree on going on this date with you.
"Britt, I don't do dates. I don't do feelings. I don't do that." She sighs again and she rubs her fingers on her forehead and you pout because you don't know how else to convince her to agree. And you shouldn't even have to convince her. If she wants to go, she would have said yes.
"Is that a no?" you ask because you want to be sure.
Santana bites her lip and she nods her head slowly. But she doesn't say anything. You keep looking at her face until she sighs again.
"You're the one missing out," you say because you want to come off as confident and badass even though you totally just got ditched. And maybe you'll just ask Olivia out on another date now, because Santana's missing some lady balls.
But you know that you won't go out with Olivia again, only maybe as friends, but not as dates.
But you want her to feel like she's missing out on going at an awesome date with you. And you feel kind of pissed though you have no right to be pissed at her. You can't make her go on a date with you. That would be ridiculous.
Santana only nods her head again and she keeps biting her lip. You're pretty sure that if she keeps biting it like that, she'll start bleeding. And even though she ditched you, you don't want her lips to bleed. So you take your hand out from underneath the blanket and you reach forward with your thumb. You graze her bottom lip with your finger and you ask her to stop biting her lip. She slowly relaxes her teeth and lets her lip rest. You smile at her and tuck your hands underneath the covers again, enjoying how you can still feel the softness of her lip on your thumb.
"We should sleep now," you say and you smile at her. She keeps looking at your face like she doesn't really know what to do so you take it up on yourself to flick the nightstand lamp off before lying down on the pillows, only a couple of inches away from Santana's face.
"Goodnight Santana," you whisper and she smiles at you in return, still looking all kinds of lost. But you think it's because you just touched her lip with your thumb and she wasn't expecting it. So you close your eyes and right when you feel her hand coming to rest on your hip, you fall into a deep sleep.
XxXx
You feel the sun hit your face and you stretch your arm out on the bed. You feel the slightest pressure against your forehead and you imagine you're going to get a killing hangover. You drank a lot yesterday and it's only fair that you have to suffer from the amount of alcohol you consumed.
Suddenly you realize something heavy on your body, and either you just gained 140 pounds while you were sleeping, or something heavy is lying on top of you.
Then you're met with a scent that you could recognize from anywhere and when you flutter your eyes open you see her lying flat against your body. And when your senses start to work again, you can also feel the way her body molds with yours.
You inhale quickly and with one eye open you peer down her body, noticing that she's wearing clothes. You then look at your own body and you let out a relieved sigh when you see that you're dressed in short and a small (very small) top.
You try to remember what exactly happened yesterday but everything is pretty much a blur. You let out a long sigh and rub your forehead, wanting the headache to go away already.
Suddenly Santana wriggles her body against yours, making you squirm with something you could only describe as pleasure. She lets out a quiet hum against your skin before she nuzzles your neck with her nose. She's still very much asleep and you close your eyes, gripping the sheets with your hands beside your body. You don't want to do something stupid, like feel her up while she's sleeping. That's just creepy. And you can't allow yourself to become that big of a creep.
Still, you can't believe you're lying on Santana's bed, in her clothes, with the actual Santana on top of you. And she's practically breathing in the scent of your neck and her hand is resting so close to the hem of your shorts and her fingers are slightly bent into the skin between your shirt and your shorts. And you have a hard time breathing coherently.
You figure that you probably shouldn't just lie here underneath her, enjoying the way her body moves in her sleep. You probably shouldn't feel something warm grow in the pit of your stomach. And when she moves her hand and her fingers glide up underneath your shirt, you should probably not roll your eyes to the back of your head. And when her legs move and for half a second moves her thigh against the apex of your legs, you probably shouldn't let out a very inappropriate moan. You grip the sheets tighter and you try not to think about how her unconscious body makes you feel.
"Mhm," Santana mumbles against your skin and you tuck your lips into your mouth and you close your eyes. If she wakes up now, you don't want her to know that you've been awake for awhile.
She stirs against your body and you press your eyes closed tighter.
Suddenly she shifts a bit and you can feel how her upper body lifts from yours. You know she's awake now because even she moves in her sleep, she can't move that much. While her boobs are now not pressed against yours, the pressure gets heavier on your legs as she rests all her weight on them. You keep on pretending to still be asleep so you lie still and scrunch your eyes together. Without looking you can almost feel her gaze on your face.
It takes five seconds, but then she leans back down again and she tucks her face back against the skin of your neck.
You don't let out the breath you're holding because you know that she's awake still and you don't want her to know that you're awake.
"I know you're awake," says Santana's sleepy voice and it sends shivers down the front of your body.
You curse under your breath but decide that there's no point trying to deny her accusation.
"I know you're awake too," you say instead and you can hear Santana chuckle.
"Am I the only one with a hangover?" she asks and you shake your head.
She can't see your head so give her a whispered 'no'.
"You want breakfast?"
Your stomach rumble and you smile at the convenience.
"Yes," you say and Santana slowly lifts her body away from yours. You instantly miss the warmth, but Santana doesn't leave right away. She hovers over your body and you open your eyes to see her looking down at you.
"You have sex-hair," she says and you snort.
She looks like a lion, and a panda, at the same time. Her makeup is smudge and her hair is wild.
"You look worse than me," you say and she smiles wickedly.
"Looks like we had a wild night," she says and wiggles her eyebrows. I had a wild morning, you think to yourself but you don't say it out loud.
You smile up at her and for a while it kind of looks like she's going to lie down on top of you again. But then she pushes herself up and she leaves you alone on the bed, walking across the bedroom towards her bathroom. You feel the urge to take her hand and pull her back to the bed but you don't, instead you watch her hips as they sway their way out of the bedroom.
XxXx
After you borrow a pair of jeans and a hoodie from Santana and you've helped each other remember the events from last night, you decide to go down to a diner a couple blocks away to get some breakfast. You subtly smell her hoodie once in awhile, because it smells so much like Santana and her scent has become your drug, sort of.
You glide into a booth and you sit opposite each other. Once you've ordered and gotten your food, Santana picks up the saltshaker and pours some in your orange juice.
You swat her hand away and then slap her on the head. She just giggles and gives you a wicked smile. You tell her she's mean but when you pout she says she's sorry.
You end up sharing Santana's glass of orange juice but you're okay with that.
While you're eating you can't stop thinking about your question yesterday and the answer she gave you.
You really want to go on a date with her but she's so stubborn and you can't make her go on a date with you. You just really wanted her to say yes. She didn't say anything about your question this morning but by the way she went all quiet and awkward when you talked about yesterday this morning while you put on her hoodie, you think she remembers. She told you she remembered everything that happened and she replicated all the other questions from last night.
Santana wants to sleep with you, you know so much. You know she's attracted to you and that you are attracted to her. You want to go on a date with her but she doesn't want to go on a date with you. You want her to become your girlfriend but she doesn't do girlfriends.
You look up at Santana just as she stuffs her mouth full of fries and you smile adoringly at her, loving the way her cheeks puff out like a chipmunk. She's the cutest thing ever and you want her to become yours. But you have to do it another way. You can't pressure her into going on a date with you, she'll never say yes. You have to meet her halfway and you have to do things in a way so she will feel safe if you want to get anything out of this.
If Santana doesn't have any lady balls, you'll just have to give her what she wants and maybe in the end, you'll get something you want too.
"I want to try the whole 'friends with benefits' thing," you blurt and immediately you freeze. You shut your eyes closed and you take a deep breath through your nostrils before looking up at her through your eyelashes.
You didn't really plan on saying it, not right now, not here. But you've said it, and she's already looking at you like you just landed on planet earth through a spaceship.
Santana is in the midst of chewing her food and her fingers make a halt and still around her fries. When the shocked look on her face wavers, she relaxes her face with a quirk of her eyebrows and then she looks at your face, then watching your fingers play with the corners of your napkin and then she gives you a tiny shrug.
"Cool," she says.
And you exhale a breath that you've been holding for the past couple of seconds and Santana goes back to eating.
You don't really know what to do now, so you just sit there, holding on to your napkin like life depended on that little piece of white fabric. Then Santana stops eating again and she looks down to the floor, and then she meets your gaze.
"Wait-" she says and you raise your eyebrows. You haven't moved for the past half an hour and you're not planning on leaving anytime soon. You think you might actually be stuck to this bench. You're in absolute no condition to move. "Now?" Santana opens her mouth and she looks around the diner you're sitting in and you follow her line of sight and you shrug.
"Yeah, why not?" you say because you think you've waited long enough to kiss her now. And you really want to kiss her.
You want to do this, even if there are no feelings involved and you'll just be having sex. Just sex. No more, no less.
XxXx
The walk back to her apartment is the most awkward ten minutes you've ever experienced. You think that Santana might still be very confused by your suggestion because not only were you just yesterday on a date with her cousin, but you've told her a million times that you wouldn't just sleep with her.
She has her hands buried in the pockets of her coat and your mouth is dry and if you opened it, you're afraid something weird will come out and it'll just make everything so much more awkward. You ditched the idea of pinning her against the wall in the girl's public bathroom and instead you plan on going back to Santana's apartment. Yes, you're pretty romantic, like that.
When you're back in Santana's apartment and she's placing her keys on the counter in the kitchen, you realize that you have no idea what to do now. You've never been friends with benefits with anyone before so you really don't know how this works. Santana should be the one teaching you but she seems to be very interested in some newspaper she's holding on to that she found on the floor in her kitchen. She's looking at the first page and it says 'how to spend 47 hours on a train' and you don't even think she's reading it.
You sigh and stand up and you take a couple of steps closer to her.
"Maybe we should go into your bedroom," you say hopefully and Santana quickly snaps her eyes up to meet yours.
"What?" she says and you furrow your eyebrows.
"I mean, we could do it on the kitchen table but I just think that it'll be more comfortable to do it in your bed, so…" you trail off and you curl your toes slightly while biting your bottom lip.
Santana widens her eyes and she clutches the paper tighter in her hand. Then she furrows her own eyebrows and tilts her head to the side, giving you a scrutinizing look.
"Wait, Britt…" she says and you wait, standing unusually still. "You were serious?" she says and you dip your brow and the corner of your mouth tilts upwards.
"Of course I was," you say and take a couple of steps closer to her. You reach your hand out and your fingers hook around the edge of Santana's shirt. You pull it and it makes her take a step closer to you.
"Britt…" she says again, more like a whisper and you tilt your head forward, letting it rest against her forehead. You press your body against hers and your hand gets trapped between your stomachs, while still clutching her shirt.
Santana breathes heavily and the furrow between her brows is still visible.
"I – I don't want you to do this, you don't want me –" she stops and you pull your head back to really look at her face. "You said you didn't want this, I won't do this to you," she says and you want to smile at her, because you think she actually cares about you. But you don't smile, you just let your free hand run through her hair slowly and Santana closes her eyes with a sigh.
"I want you, Santana," you say and she leans in to your touch.
"You know I don't do feelings," she responds after a while and you smile sadly, because you know that.
"I know." You let your hand fall to the back of her neck and your fingertips add the slightest pressure against her skin, making the space between your faces diminish. "There are no feelings, just sex." And you feel your heart clench at your own words, but you ignore it and you add more pressure to her neck. The hand you're clutching her shirt with takes a tighter grip, and it trails upwards slowly. Your fingers brush against the skin of her abdomen, making Santana shudder.
Santana opens her eyes and she looks at you, and you feel the brown color of her orbs melting your body. Her eyes are warm but at the same time fierce and you almost feel a pleasant shiver running down your back just by looking into her eyes.
"If that's what you want," she says and you feel your throat tightens. There's something in her voice that makes you doubt your own intentions in this agreement. And it makes you doubt her intentions. She only wants sex, but the way she's breathing against your cheek, shivering against your body when you touch her skin. The way her brown eyes warm you up and the way she smiles at you when you two are hanging out. Somehow, you think that maybe both of your intentions with each other are more than you want to admit.
You don't even know why you're doing this. Because you want her body or because you just want her? Or because you think that maybe after you sleep together, she will realize that she wants you more.
You're being naive if you think that will happen, but you can't seem to let go of that wish.
You're just kind of craving her and you'll take her in whatever way you'll get. And you think that right now, being friends with benefits with her is the closest you'll ever get to having exactly what you want.
You want her to want you more than for your body, and you're going to do everything in your way to get her to want you like that.
You're going to show her that you could be the most awesome girlfriend she'll ever have.
"We can go to my bedroom," Santana finally says around a smile and your heart starts to thump erratically.
Suddenly you're nervous, and when you loosen your hands around her body and let her lead the way, your palms start to sweat.
Santana opens the door and she closes it behind you when you're both inside.
The room is pretty dark and quiet even if it's still early afternoon and when Santana closes the distance between you, the only thing you can hear is your breathing.
She places her hands on your hips and you look into her eyes. When her hands slide to the small of your back and your shirt rides up and her fingers splay across your skin, you take in a deep breath and you melt into her body.
You raise your own hands up and you place them behind her neck, massaging the skin there. Your foreheads rest together again and you can feel her choppy breaths against your mouth.
Your lips are only a few inches apart and your hot breaths are molding together, making your head spin. Her fingertips drag across your back and when you pull your hands through her hair, a heavy sigh leaves her mouth and hits your lips.
You press your bodies closer together and her chest pushes against your, making your body tingle.
"Can I kiss you?" Her words hit your mouth and you can't take it anymore.
You slowly inch your face closer to hers, tilt your head up and brush your lips against hers.
You groan at the contact and you would be embarrassed for the sound if it weren't for the fact that Santana catches your mouth again and she takes your bottom lip in between hers.
Her wet lips make you shiver and everything feels hot and your head feels dizzy. Her hands draw lower, taking a hold of your ass.
You moan against her lips and the sound vibrates against Santana's lips and you open your mouth wider, letting your tongue swipe her bottom lip.
This time Santana moans and you grip her neck tighter, letting your other hand sneak under shirt, dragging your fingernails up her stomach.
And the air catches in your throat when you feel her abs constrict underneath your touch. Santana opens her mouth and your tongues meet. Waves of pleasure curses through your body and it makes you dip your brows. You have a problem taking deep breaths and your knees start to buckle a little, so you reluctantly pull away.
Santana groans when you leave her lips and her tongue. She holds on to your butt still and you let her. You look up to her face and you feel your whole body pound when you see her hooded lids and parted lips. Though, you're pretty sure you look the same.
Her hair is a bit messy from the way you had your fingers twirled in her dark locks. She looks at you and then she widens her eyes and she bites her lip uncertainly.
"Have you changed your mind?" Her voice is thick with arousal and it makes it sound raspy. The throb between your legs intensifies. But then you take in her question and you realize that she thinks you stopped because you don't want this anymore. And Santana looks down at her feet and she lets go of your butt. She looks awfully disappointed.
"No!" You scream, because you don't want her to think that you don't want this. You want this, you need this. You need her. And the pounding between your legs makes you kiss her again and she melts into your lips and she kisses you back. You want her too much and wherever she touches you, make your skin burn.
"Bed," you say because soon you won't be able to stand up anymore because your knees are buckling.
Without breaking the kiss, you lie down on the bed. Santana lands on top of you and your hands fall square to her ass. You shuffle all the way up to rest your head against the pillows and Santana follows suit. She muffles a moan against your neck, while peppering light kisses to your skin there. Your hands grip tighter and her hips collide with your hips hard. One of her hands is resting on your hip and the other one is gripping the sheet right by your head. She opens her mouth wider and takes your skin into her mouth, sucking your neck while her tongue swallows the heat of your neck. When her teeth grace your skin, you buck your hips up, and she force you down with the weight of her own. You moan her name into the darkness of her bedroom and your hands slide up to the small of her back, caressing the skin there. You feel her back dimples underneath your fingertips and your eyes roll to the back of your head. You feel dizzy and when Santana traces kisses up your jaw line, you feel the pleasure curse through your body again. She takes your earlobe between her teeth and you can't keep the moan from tumbling through your lips.
You need to feel her on your lips, you need to taste her, and so you put a finger under her chin to get her to kiss your lips. She fits her bottom lip between yours and you suck on it. Santana's hand grips the sheets tighter and her body crashes harder against yours. You take both of your hands to the front of her shirt and you push her body up a few inches so your fingers have enough space to start to unbutton her shirt.
You have yearned for her for so long and now you have her in your hands and you can't get enough. You need to feel her skin against yours and the only thing in between you are your clothes.
You unbutton her shirt and it falls open before your eyes. She's hovering above you, looking into your eyes with hooded lids and you pull her down by her neck. Your lips meet and your body tingles when she traces your mouth with her tongue. Your hands make their way to her stomach and you feel her abs twitch under your touch. You trail your hands upward and her hips jerk against your hips the second you palm her breasts over her bra. You brush your hands against the skin on her upper boobs, where nothing is between your hands and her skin. She moans into your mouth and it makes your whole body vibrate.
Suddenly her hips are thrusting against you faster and you slip your thigh between her legs, keeping up the rhythm. Your upper thigh meets her core and even though you're both wearing jeans, you feel like you're slowly burning up with heat.
You've stopped kissing because you're both breathing too hard. Instead you duck your head to her neck and you suck on her skin, eliciting a delicious moan from her lips.
"Britt," she pants against your hair and you force your thigh harder against her, making her body slump down against yours. The hand that was holding on to the sheets by your head is now in your hair and your hands grip her ass, fastening the rhythm you've created.
Suddenly, you see how Santana's jaw clenches, her brow dip and then her lips form an o-shape. She thrusts her hips even faster and you grab her ass tighter.
"Britt," she moans loudly against your ear and then her hand tightens around your locks, her hips stilling against your thigh, and she moans once again.
She breathes hard against your neck and her movements slowly come to a halt. She's lying flat against your body for a couple of seconds, panting but keeping her body completely still.
But then Santana suddenly sits up, still straddling your hips, and she buries her face into her hands.
"Oh my god," she mumbles into her hands.
Then you finally understand what just happened.
And you try to take her hands away from her beautiful face.
"That's never happened before," she whisper and despite her being all embarrassed, you smile broadly.
"It's okay Santana," you say but she doesn't say anything in return. Her hands are still hiding her face and you wish she would take them away. "Happens to the best of us," you shrug and she snorts.
Santana slowly lets her hands fall down onto your stomach and she furrows her eyebrows while looking down in between your bodies.
"We're still wearing clothes, Britt." Santana looks incredulous while looking up at your face. "And I still came." A deep shade of red takes over the skin of her cheeks while she whispers the last word and you bite your lip. "This is so embarrassing," she says and you bite your lip harder, trying to stifle a giggle. "It was too hot, too much..." She mutters something more under her breath and you let yourself giggle.
Then you slowly bend up and you kiss her lips softly.
"It was sexy," you say and she blushes even harder.
XxXx
Hehe. Tell me what you think!