SM OWNS IT ALL.
A sob rips through my chest and I hold Sophie close to me while I walk through the house.
"I'm so sorry baby. I'm so sorry." So fucking sorry for not being the mother I should have been.
I didn't even realize that Alice followed me into the guest bedroom.
"Let me take her, Bella." Sophie immediately lets go of me and goes into Alice's arms. That hurts deep down into my soul.
My daughter is used to Alice because I was too depressed to care for her when she was born. She was a constant reminder of him and I just…couldn't deal with that much pain—of him not being there to see the perfectness that we created.
To this day I hate myself for rejecting her that way, and I try to make up for it ever day. It's still hard.
"Are you okay Bella?" Alice asks me softly.
"Y-yeah." I let out a shaky breath. "It got to be too much with him standing there in front of us." I wipe away the tears—I'm feeling better. Sophie doesn't look like I scarred her for life or anything…she is still upset that she can't get in the "swimmy pool."
"We can leave if you want…" she offers. I shake my head.
"No, we should stay. I'll take her to the pool." I rub Sophie's back; she looks up at me and smiles.
"Are you sure? I can take her for you."
"I'll do it, Alice. We'll be fine." I don't blame Alice for being so protective of my daughter. She's had to pick up so much slack from me; it's close to being borderline disgusting. But I can take care of my own daughter.
If it takes all my life to prove that I am a good mother, then I will do it—I'll pass that test with flying fucking colors. I promised Sophie that a long time ago.
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